Click here for a video that will melt your cold, black heart. Seriously. I was freaking out at work which prompted my co-worker to ask me what sort of drugs I am on and where she can get some.
I love polar bears. Proof? (Besides the above adorable CNN footage?) The fact that when I was born someone gave me a stuffed animal polar bear, who when I could talk, was named Snowy, and has slept under my arm for all 24 years of my life. At this point Snowy barely resembles a real bear, and he has been so weathered from his years of being loved that his body is strangely flattened and he somehow garnered the nickname "Square Bear" from a friend in high school. He is the most loved stuffed animal that ever existed... but anyways the point was that Snowy's presence fostered a big love for polar bears when I was younger. The best, and most recent display of polar bears was in the BBC-produced series Planet Earth which is one of my favorite television programs of late. Here's a clip from the episode "Pole to Pole," which in my opinion, was the best episode of the show. Watch it and rejoice.
Go to the 3:37 minute mark for the polar bear stuff.
Friday, February 29, 2008
Happy Birthday to everyone who only has a birthday every four years...
It's a leap year! Is this something that warrants an exclamation point? I am not sure. But I guess it is exciting. Even more exciting is the fact a recent discovery I had. Actually this isn't exciting at all, it's actually a mix of embarrassing and disgusting...
Earlier today I suddenly realized that if you are born on February 29th you only have your birthday every four years. I am sorry but I think this is MIND BOGGLING! Does anyone else? IT'S INCREDIBLE! How do those people who are born on February 29th celebrate their birthday? If a baby was born 5 years ago today, is it really just one year old? This totally ROCKS MY WORLD! Ja Rule is only eight years old! EIGHT YEARS OLD! HE'S A RAP PRODIGY! (Has he actually done anything recently? And he's pretty old looking for an 8-year-old.)
Anyways, my mind has been blown just thinking about the weirdness that is February 29th. Thank goodness I have Wikipedia to teach me about important things like this as well as the fact that the law professor Boudewijn Sirks has written on papyrology, food distribution in ancient Rome, and Sailing in the Off-Season with Reduced Financial Risk. (It's true, look him up!) The things you can learn these days!
Earlier today I suddenly realized that if you are born on February 29th you only have your birthday every four years. I am sorry but I think this is MIND BOGGLING! Does anyone else? IT'S INCREDIBLE! How do those people who are born on February 29th celebrate their birthday? If a baby was born 5 years ago today, is it really just one year old? This totally ROCKS MY WORLD! Ja Rule is only eight years old! EIGHT YEARS OLD! HE'S A RAP PRODIGY! (Has he actually done anything recently? And he's pretty old looking for an 8-year-old.)
Anyways, my mind has been blown just thinking about the weirdness that is February 29th. Thank goodness I have Wikipedia to teach me about important things like this as well as the fact that the law professor Boudewijn Sirks has written on papyrology, food distribution in ancient Rome, and Sailing in the Off-Season with Reduced Financial Risk. (It's true, look him up!) The things you can learn these days!
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Stamos vs. Stamos
The first photo is the well-known actor John Stamos of such hits Full House and the recently-aired Raisin in the Sun.
The second photo is... me, nicknamed at age 14, Stamos.
Thus begins a new regular series I will be exploring in which I will compete with John Stamos in a variety of areas. Categories will include, but are not limited to, hair, musical talent, acting capabilities, wardrobe, potent potables, and... miscellaneous.
Today's entry will simply be a photo duel, in which Stamos will take on me (Stamos) and we go toe to toe, or rather pose to pose, in the above photos.
I win.
Normally I wouldn't be so quick to judge. I like to take matters such as these seriously, especially when it comes to the REAL John Stamos (and not my dad, who ironically, is another REAL Jon Stamos--no H). I lack the physique and the rich flowing mane, as well as the beads of water pooling on my chest (actually they are probably there, but in my case it's definitely sweat). However, the male-Stamos loses this round thanks to the following characteristic: he has an OUTTIE belly button. EW. While I realize that my perfect INNIE belly button is not on display (do you honestly think I would post photos of my midriff on my blog? Not yet), I can guarantee I have no protrusions in the stomach area of any sort. Better luck next time, John.
Stamos 0
Stamos 1
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
How to Get a Boyfriend... Apparently
Earlier today I received this little cartoon from a friend who claims such "tactics" work. She may or may not be serious. I have a motley crew of friends. (I would continue to mock her but she is actually in a happy committed relationship. So much for internet dating.)
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Pet Peeves (Part Two of an Endless, Multi-Part Series)
Pet Peeve:
People who walk around with a constant, lingering smell of cigarette smoke. I mean, honestly. I almost think this smell is worse than fresh cigarette smoke. I can't stand walking to a room and my nostrils being bombarded with that awful, stale smell. I don't understand how anyone in their right mind could function with such an odor. It's called a shower. Or perfume. Or deodorant.
Pet Peeve:
People who dress up for the gym. I have witnessed this phenomenon in three places: (1) Europe; (2) The gym at Middlebury College (nowhere else have I seen boys working out in madras shorts or girls with ribbons in their hair while bopping up and down on an elliptical); and (3) Los Angeles. People here really go all out for the gym. A lot of spandex, but even worse--matching spandex. And unfortunately it isn't 80s spandex, which I would actually enjoy, but "I take myself seriously" spandex. Blech.
Pet Peeve:
My hair. Sometimes I want to pull a Britney and shave it off. It's so annoying. It would be a lot easier if I didn't manage to wake up every morning with a fresh rats nest and a few dreadlocks. It's actually impressive how I will go to bed with my hair perfectly straight and wake up in the morning unable to brush even a finger through it. One of life's miracles.
People who walk around with a constant, lingering smell of cigarette smoke. I mean, honestly. I almost think this smell is worse than fresh cigarette smoke. I can't stand walking to a room and my nostrils being bombarded with that awful, stale smell. I don't understand how anyone in their right mind could function with such an odor. It's called a shower. Or perfume. Or deodorant.
Pet Peeve:
People who dress up for the gym. I have witnessed this phenomenon in three places: (1) Europe; (2) The gym at Middlebury College (nowhere else have I seen boys working out in madras shorts or girls with ribbons in their hair while bopping up and down on an elliptical); and (3) Los Angeles. People here really go all out for the gym. A lot of spandex, but even worse--matching spandex. And unfortunately it isn't 80s spandex, which I would actually enjoy, but "I take myself seriously" spandex. Blech.
Pet Peeve:
My hair. Sometimes I want to pull a Britney and shave it off. It's so annoying. It would be a lot easier if I didn't manage to wake up every morning with a fresh rats nest and a few dreadlocks. It's actually impressive how I will go to bed with my hair perfectly straight and wake up in the morning unable to brush even a finger through it. One of life's miracles.
A Personal Note from Kate Walsh (HUH?)
So Friday night I am going with some friends to this event called "Good Medicine" which is featuring the casts and creators of Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice in some sort of performance thing at UCLA's Royce Hall. I used to think I was scary obsessed with Grey's but then I met my match in Roommate #1, and thus we continue to fuel each other's unhealthy obsession with the show--hence our both freaking out at the opportunity to see nearly all of the cast members in this one-time-only evening.
Today, the following email showed up in my inbox:
I find it highly comical that she sent out this email. I mean it's surprising that she actually took the time to write it, but even better is the fact the she writes exactly how all the characters on Grey's Anatomy speak. More exciting is the fact that Eric Dane will be there, as well as Justin Chambers who my good friend refers to only as "Hot Boy." Should be a fun evening.
You know who I wish wasn't going to be there? Katherine Heigl. Ugh she drives me nuts. This story only increased my annoyance with her. Yeah, yeah, I'm a broken record...
In a related note I realize I am starting to come off a little bit stalkerish (and by a little bit I mean a lot) when it comes to various members of Grey's Anatomy (i.e. Kate Walsh or Katherine Heigl). This is nothing. At some point I will tell a story that involves me listing off IMDB credits for a guest star on Grey's to said guest star's first cousin, a revolving dance floor, a bar mitzvah, and a lot of alcohol. So yeah I'm a fan...
Today, the following email showed up in my inbox:
Dear Ann Stamell,
We just obtained some updated information on "Good Medicine" on Fri, February 29. Kate Walsh is going to be unable to perform in the show. All other listed performers are going on as scheduled, but we wanted to let you know that Kate Walsh would be unable to perform. She wanted to share a personal message with you about this, and I have pasted it below my signature.
Best,
Sandy
Goldstar
A note to ticket holders for the Grey’s Anatomy and Private Practice musical benefit, “Good Medicine,” from Kate Walsh:
I’m sorry. I’m really sorry and I am sorry I have to be so sorry but still, I do, because I am writing to let you know that despite my initial commitments, I won’t be able to participate in “Good Medicine.” I wanted to come, I really, really did -- but I can't. I have a prior commitment that I tried to get out of and couldn't. I am so sorry. And so so so bummed. I am so bummed not only that we can't be there for you and our crew, but because I hate to miss what promises to be an unbelievably great evening. Audra McDonald, Sara Ramirez and Loretta Devine (known to you as the chief’s wife, Adele. She played Effie in the very first Broadway Production of Dreamgirls) are singing! Not to mention T.R. Knight, Chandra Wilson, Amy Brenneman and Paul Adelstein, Tim Daly and Chris Lowell… they’re all going to sing! And so are Chief Webber and his real-life wife Gina, also a Broadway veteran. Aside from all the music, there will be appearances by Katherine Heigl, Brooke Smith, Sandra Oh, Justin Chambers, Chyler Leigh, Eric Dane and Taye Diggs. Basically everyone's gonna be there. Except me. I cannot believe I have to miss this. Crap. Our crews are the people who make all of it possible. I am so excited this evening is happening to raise money for them and so so sad I won't be there. I hope you forgive us and I hope you have a wonderful time.
With Love and Regret,
Kate Walsh
I find it highly comical that she sent out this email. I mean it's surprising that she actually took the time to write it, but even better is the fact the she writes exactly how all the characters on Grey's Anatomy speak. More exciting is the fact that Eric Dane will be there, as well as Justin Chambers who my good friend refers to only as "Hot Boy." Should be a fun evening.
You know who I wish wasn't going to be there? Katherine Heigl. Ugh she drives me nuts. This story only increased my annoyance with her. Yeah, yeah, I'm a broken record...
In a related note I realize I am starting to come off a little bit stalkerish (and by a little bit I mean a lot) when it comes to various members of Grey's Anatomy (i.e. Kate Walsh or Katherine Heigl). This is nothing. At some point I will tell a story that involves me listing off IMDB credits for a guest star on Grey's to said guest star's first cousin, a revolving dance floor, a bar mitzvah, and a lot of alcohol. So yeah I'm a fan...
Exercising with Fabio
Since I moved to California I have avoided joining a gym. It was inevitable, however, that I bite the bullet and fork over the monthly fee for some rock hard abs. Actually, I was hoping to get by on running in my neighborhood and going to my donation-only yoga classes. But since I've been at my job for about two months now and am sick of going to yoga classes that don't get me home until 10:30 pm, or running in the dark by people eating their delicious dinners, I've finally forked over the money to join the gym. And not just any gym. Last night I joined the mecca of all gyms, Equinox.
The primary reasons I can justify paying the disgusting amount of money to work out at Equinox are these:
1. There was some sort of special going on and if I joined by the end of the month, the normal initiation fee of $525 would be reduced to $95. I actually think this "special" was in place because I called two weeks ago and when told the fee for joining I declined in my shocked state and hung up the phone. Two weeks later I am getting phone calls from their "membership advisor," Chelsea, tell me all about the "special" deal. Hook, line, and sinker.
2. There is an Equinox just about three blocks from my office and another one about three blocks from my apartment in Santa Monica--with the California pass, I can go to either (actually I can go to any gym in California so next time I am in San Francisco--Equinox here I come!).
3. It is without question the nicest gym I've ever stepped foot in, down to the climate controlled spinning and yoga rooms (the former extra cold, the latter extra hot)and the amenities in the women's locker room alone.
4. Fabio.
Yes, my fourth reason was Fabio. Why, you ask? Well last night I parked my car and was making my way to the elevators up to the gym when I noticed a man who looked as though he'd stepped off the book jacket of a Danielle Steele novel pacing around an extravagant Porsche. It was Fabio. In all his long haired, oxford shirt haphazardly unbottoned at the top, ridiculous luxury car splendor. Clearly, I had found the perfect gym. If it's good enough for Fabio, it's good enough for me.
The primary reasons I can justify paying the disgusting amount of money to work out at Equinox are these:
1. There was some sort of special going on and if I joined by the end of the month, the normal initiation fee of $525 would be reduced to $95. I actually think this "special" was in place because I called two weeks ago and when told the fee for joining I declined in my shocked state and hung up the phone. Two weeks later I am getting phone calls from their "membership advisor," Chelsea, tell me all about the "special" deal. Hook, line, and sinker.
2. There is an Equinox just about three blocks from my office and another one about three blocks from my apartment in Santa Monica--with the California pass, I can go to either (actually I can go to any gym in California so next time I am in San Francisco--Equinox here I come!).
3. It is without question the nicest gym I've ever stepped foot in, down to the climate controlled spinning and yoga rooms (the former extra cold, the latter extra hot)and the amenities in the women's locker room alone.
4. Fabio.
Yes, my fourth reason was Fabio. Why, you ask? Well last night I parked my car and was making my way to the elevators up to the gym when I noticed a man who looked as though he'd stepped off the book jacket of a Danielle Steele novel pacing around an extravagant Porsche. It was Fabio. In all his long haired, oxford shirt haphazardly unbottoned at the top, ridiculous luxury car splendor. Clearly, I had found the perfect gym. If it's good enough for Fabio, it's good enough for me.
Monday, February 25, 2008
I Can't Get Enough Milkshake
I found someone who does a better Daniel Planview impression than yours truly (it probably helps being a guy) and it's Bill Hader from SNL. Check out this sketch, which combines some of the best lines from There Will Be Blood (and has a Maine shout out!).
Awards Hangover
I arrived to work early this morning, in the anticipation that there would be hundreds of emails to read, calls to return and lots to follow up on. Wrong. Things are slow today in Hollywood, thanks to the Academy Awards and the likely possibility that a high percentage of people in this town are nursing some killer hangovers right now. I myself feel hungover, sadly not from fancy and exclusive parties with Prince or Madonna, but from two days of serious skiing and a late flight back to LA last night. I watched the majority of the Oscars, thanks to a strategically placed bar in the Salt Lake City airport (where, FYI, last call is 9:30 pm. Uh, okay.) and got plenty of red carpet coverage this morning thanks to the myriad of blogs and columns I read.
Here are a few lingering thoughts in the wake of Hollywood's Biggest Self Congratulatory Night of 2008:
Katherine Heigl needs to rethink her hairdo. She looks 29 going on 45.
Why was Jessica Alba at the Oscars? For the second year in a row? Honestly.
Loved Jon Stewart. So many people today have been commenting about how boring the show was or how unexciting. I would disagree. While the show lacked little surprising moments I thought he was great. I especially loved the joke in which he described Away From Her, in which a woman with Alzheimer's forgets her husband, as being what Hillary Clinton thought was the feel good movie of the year.
Daniel Day Lewis and Javier Bardem, despite being Oscar sure things, were both so gracious and humble accepting their awards, it was lovely.
I am a little disappointed that there were no reenactments of the infamous milkshake line from There Will Be Blood.
Ryan Seacrest should fire his stylist after wearing that brown mess for his red carpet interviews.
I am a little disappointed that Gary Busey's presence at the awards wasn't really apparent after the strange encounter with Jennifer Garner. I could have used a few Busey reaction shots from time to time. He was probably drinking at the bar.
Jack Nicholson, in his permanent front row seat glory, never ceases to delight me. They should really just set up a camera on him at all times. The Jack Cam!
In all, I am glad the Oscar's are over and I get this freebie slow day at work. And P.S. I am a little disappointed that No Country For Old Men took home the top prize--it was good, sure, but it didn't wow my socks off. Actually, of all the best pic nominees, the only two that did were Michael Clayton and There Will Be Blood. Thing is, the Oscar's are so political anyways... and soon enough we'll only remember highlights--such as Javier Bardem's bowl cut, and Cate Blanchett's skill at playing man, woman, and even dog.
Here are a few lingering thoughts in the wake of Hollywood's Biggest Self Congratulatory Night of 2008:
Katherine Heigl needs to rethink her hairdo. She looks 29 going on 45.
Why was Jessica Alba at the Oscars? For the second year in a row? Honestly.
Loved Jon Stewart. So many people today have been commenting about how boring the show was or how unexciting. I would disagree. While the show lacked little surprising moments I thought he was great. I especially loved the joke in which he described Away From Her, in which a woman with Alzheimer's forgets her husband, as being what Hillary Clinton thought was the feel good movie of the year.
Daniel Day Lewis and Javier Bardem, despite being Oscar sure things, were both so gracious and humble accepting their awards, it was lovely.
I am a little disappointed that there were no reenactments of the infamous milkshake line from There Will Be Blood.
Ryan Seacrest should fire his stylist after wearing that brown mess for his red carpet interviews.
I am a little disappointed that Gary Busey's presence at the awards wasn't really apparent after the strange encounter with Jennifer Garner. I could have used a few Busey reaction shots from time to time. He was probably drinking at the bar.
Jack Nicholson, in his permanent front row seat glory, never ceases to delight me. They should really just set up a camera on him at all times. The Jack Cam!
In all, I am glad the Oscar's are over and I get this freebie slow day at work. And P.S. I am a little disappointed that No Country For Old Men took home the top prize--it was good, sure, but it didn't wow my socks off. Actually, of all the best pic nominees, the only two that did were Michael Clayton and There Will Be Blood. Thing is, the Oscar's are so political anyways... and soon enough we'll only remember highlights--such as Javier Bardem's bowl cut, and Cate Blanchett's skill at playing man, woman, and even dog.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Live Blog From a Snowstorm (Sort of)
Never fear my loyal readers (do I have loyal readers? Reveal yourselves!) I am currently watching the Academy Awards in Park City, Utah, where a raging snowstorm ensues outside (I am not exaggerating but the snow level on the porch is up to my neck!). Anyways, this isn't going to be a complete live blog because I will have to leave for the airport eventually.
Here are some of my observations thus far (while watching E! Live from the Red Carpet):
1. What is Ryan Seacrest wearing? Is that a mock turtleneck? Oh my god.
2. Guiliana, despite always bearing a strange resemblance to an alien, looks great. I love her. Big fan.
3. Jon Travolta and Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson are sporting the same haircut. Jon Travolta should not sport this look again. He is also a Scientologist. Just a note.
4. Patrick Dempsey--love him. And I love the fact that ABC always has token stars from TV shows at the awards. For example, Miley Cyrus? (ABC is owned by Disney) I mean, is she really a movie star? I know Hannah Montana 3D or whatever it was called was very successful at the box office but I wouldn't put her in the same ranks as the other A-list talent at the show tonight. Also, has anyone noticed that the Cadillac CTS commercial with Kate Walsh has now aired twice? This isn't even ABC and yet E! is pimping their starts too! It's globalization at its best.
5. While running to print out my boarding pass I missed a bizarre encounter with Gary Busey and Jennifer Garner. I caught the tale end of the J-Gar/Seacrest interview (he is boring) and can only imagine what sort of shenanigans Busey pulled. Glad that a crazy mess like him can still show up to these high brow events.
6. Unrelated to the Oscars--the stars of the X-Files were at WonderCon (a mini Comic Con in San Francisco) yesterday and I have to admit that about two weeks ago I contemplated buying a ticket and going--I mean I am already embracing my dork side, why not go all out and congregate with other like-minded tools in a big convention where we hail our fictional heros? Fortunately, I ended up skiing all weekend instead.
7. That's all for now--I can't even comment on Ryan Seacrest's ridiculous baby questions to Jessica Alba and I have to finish packing.
Here are some of my observations thus far (while watching E! Live from the Red Carpet):
1. What is Ryan Seacrest wearing? Is that a mock turtleneck? Oh my god.
2. Guiliana, despite always bearing a strange resemblance to an alien, looks great. I love her. Big fan.
3. Jon Travolta and Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson are sporting the same haircut. Jon Travolta should not sport this look again. He is also a Scientologist. Just a note.
4. Patrick Dempsey--love him. And I love the fact that ABC always has token stars from TV shows at the awards. For example, Miley Cyrus? (ABC is owned by Disney) I mean, is she really a movie star? I know Hannah Montana 3D or whatever it was called was very successful at the box office but I wouldn't put her in the same ranks as the other A-list talent at the show tonight. Also, has anyone noticed that the Cadillac CTS commercial with Kate Walsh has now aired twice? This isn't even ABC and yet E! is pimping their starts too! It's globalization at its best.
5. While running to print out my boarding pass I missed a bizarre encounter with Gary Busey and Jennifer Garner. I caught the tale end of the J-Gar/Seacrest interview (he is boring) and can only imagine what sort of shenanigans Busey pulled. Glad that a crazy mess like him can still show up to these high brow events.
6. Unrelated to the Oscars--the stars of the X-Files were at WonderCon (a mini Comic Con in San Francisco) yesterday and I have to admit that about two weeks ago I contemplated buying a ticket and going--I mean I am already embracing my dork side, why not go all out and congregate with other like-minded tools in a big convention where we hail our fictional heros? Fortunately, I ended up skiing all weekend instead.
7. That's all for now--I can't even comment on Ryan Seacrest's ridiculous baby questions to Jessica Alba and I have to finish packing.
Friday, February 22, 2008
Oscar Dilemma
My moment of glory has arrived! THE ACADEMY AWARDS!
Since I moved to Los Angeles, I started imagining the weekend of the Oscars--the parties, the benefits, the clothes, the schmoozing, the show, maybe getting called up on stage when I am thanked by the hordes of stars I've assisted during my brief tenure in Hollywood...
Actually, I have just been really looking forward to maybe having some friends over to watch and make everyone fill out ballots with a prize going to the winner (probably me--in seventh grade I won the Oscar ballot at the local video store and got to take home a sweet Phillips boom box.) I was looking forward to being in a place where people actually cared about the Academy Awards.
On Monday my dad calls me up and leaves me this message (I was rollerblading per usual and missed the call): "Hi Annie, Just wanted to let you know that the condo in Park City this weekend has an extra room so if you want to come, just buy some tickets and let me know."
Um, yes?
In a flurry of excitement to get away I bought tickets, unloaded my ski gear, and started dreaming of the heavenly Utah powder I would soon be floating on.
For a moment after the plans were set I paused to think of the fact that now I couldn't fulfill my Oscar weekend dreams--in fact, because of the time of my flight I will be missing the show entirely! Whatever is a girl to do!?!
The thing is--I would rather be skiing over watching the Academy Awards any day. So fortunately my dilemma is easily resolved, and a weekend of cold weather and snow is on my horizon. (Also, having DVR really helps. I just love that opening montage!)
Since I moved to Los Angeles, I started imagining the weekend of the Oscars--the parties, the benefits, the clothes, the schmoozing, the show, maybe getting called up on stage when I am thanked by the hordes of stars I've assisted during my brief tenure in Hollywood...
Actually, I have just been really looking forward to maybe having some friends over to watch and make everyone fill out ballots with a prize going to the winner (probably me--in seventh grade I won the Oscar ballot at the local video store and got to take home a sweet Phillips boom box.) I was looking forward to being in a place where people actually cared about the Academy Awards.
On Monday my dad calls me up and leaves me this message (I was rollerblading per usual and missed the call): "Hi Annie, Just wanted to let you know that the condo in Park City this weekend has an extra room so if you want to come, just buy some tickets and let me know."
Um, yes?
In a flurry of excitement to get away I bought tickets, unloaded my ski gear, and started dreaming of the heavenly Utah powder I would soon be floating on.
For a moment after the plans were set I paused to think of the fact that now I couldn't fulfill my Oscar weekend dreams--in fact, because of the time of my flight I will be missing the show entirely! Whatever is a girl to do!?!
The thing is--I would rather be skiing over watching the Academy Awards any day. So fortunately my dilemma is easily resolved, and a weekend of cold weather and snow is on my horizon. (Also, having DVR really helps. I just love that opening montage!)
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Big Tee or Dress?
I love big tees. Personal favorite? That's tough to determine. It could be my XXL Manny Ramirez Boston Red Sox shirt. Or my brother's Camp Winona "Staff" tee. Or possibly the hot pink beauty from my dad's old company that declares, "Holt, Hughes & Stamell. We take everything personally." In any case, I love a big tee. I love to talk about big tees and even more, I love the opportunity to sport one.
For this reason, my favorite current trend would have to be the big tee dress. For example, I am currently wearing a fantastic dress, that despite it's J. Crew label, is in reality just a potato sack with armholes. I have so many of these big tee dress hybrids that my closet is overflowing and I could probably go a month never repeating. These are great--you can dress them up, make them casual, sleep in them--whatever! Your life becomes remarkably versatile when you embrace the big tee dress. The other beautiful thing about these dresses--they are usually pretty inexpensive, because let's be honest, how expensive should a potato sack with armholes really be?
If and when this trend dies, as all trends eventually do, hopefully I will be able to find new purposes for my big tee dress. Perhaps at the point I will use them as they were really intended--potato sacks.
For this reason, my favorite current trend would have to be the big tee dress. For example, I am currently wearing a fantastic dress, that despite it's J. Crew label, is in reality just a potato sack with armholes. I have so many of these big tee dress hybrids that my closet is overflowing and I could probably go a month never repeating. These are great--you can dress them up, make them casual, sleep in them--whatever! Your life becomes remarkably versatile when you embrace the big tee dress. The other beautiful thing about these dresses--they are usually pretty inexpensive, because let's be honest, how expensive should a potato sack with armholes really be?
If and when this trend dies, as all trends eventually do, hopefully I will be able to find new purposes for my big tee dress. Perhaps at the point I will use them as they were really intended--potato sacks.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Why I Love Celine Dion, Pt. 4
I really wish I was the genius YouTuber who had created these "Celine Dion is Amazing" videos. Here's another one, also brilliant, and all clips coming from her CBS special last Friday night. Which I DVRed. And watched, experiencing feelings of both love and horrifying embarrassment. The plight of a Celine fan. In her native tongue: c'est la vie.
Lunchtime List
Since the strike ended, I seem to have less time to blog. Poor me. I still dislike the use of the word blog, both in general and as a verb. The remaining thoughts I would like to share shall henceforth be delivered in my preferred format--a list.
1. I love yoga.
2. I have discovered a yoga studio in Santa Monica that is "donation only." Their idea is that even if you can't afford to practice yoga, that doesn't mean you shouldn't be able to. This policy really works in my favor.
3. For a few Tuesdays in a row I have been going to a yoga class at 8:30 pm, when I get home from work. The teacher always gives a fantastic workout--actually, last night I think I sweat the most I have ever sweat in a yoga class. Which means my own perspiration may have ended the California drought. It was disgusting. Anyways, the thing I can't stand about the teacher is the amount of talking she does during class. She has a tendency to talk about how terrible her life was before she discovered yoga; how her mom was an alcoholic and her dad left them, and she only ever dated guys who cheated, and now she's a single parent, and the worst heartbreak she suffered was when her dog of 10 years dad, and on and on and on. She also has a tendency to tell these stories while the class is in some sort of pose for an extended period of time. I am sorry, but I don't want to hear about your miserable pre-yoga life while I am struggling not to tear my crotchal region in pigeon pose.
4. Prior to living in California I always noticed that yoga classes were mostly female. When I moved here I discovered this gender statistic is not true at all. Good for you, California men, for being both healthy, and secure enough in your masculinity to wear flowy pants and point your toes!
5. I love the food at Trader Joes. Specific favorites would be the dark chocolate covered blueberries or the organic ginger snaps.
6. I hate shopping at Trader Joes. The parking lot alone is a nightmare, and with LA drivers, it often feels like a battlefield in which remaining passive doesn't leave you dead, it leaves you sitting in your car for a solid half hour while some aggressive assholes keep stealing spots in front of you. When you make it inside the place, it only gets worse when you practically have to knock people out just to get to the trail mix in the nut aisle. I wonder when shopping at TJ's is actually a pleasant experience. Perhaps around 10 am on a Tuesday, when all the corporate hacks are at work, the housewives and moms are at yoga, and the "artists" are still sleeping. Alas, I'll never know.
7. Without meaning to, I oftentimes wake up to my alarm clock and scream something at the top of my lungs. This morning it was, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME!" and then I ran into the shower. I again had to scream when near the end of the shower, one of my roommates had turned on her shower, consequently turning mine to a driplet of ice water. Morning is not a good time for me.
8. Currently my right eye is smaller than the left. I officially have a wonky eye, which means I have something in common with Paris Hilton. The shame.
9. Roommate #2 is shopping around her cat aka The Devil Incarnate. I want to have a going away party in which we honor his departure by doing the things he loves best--jumping over the sofa while simultaneously clawing at innocent bystanders and then eating a stuffed animal or maybe a tax return.
10. I want to rewind back to mid-November when I didn't have a job and my days consisted of eating, sleeping, exercising, "networking," surfing the interwebs, napping, watching tv, eating, sleeping. Some call it unemployment, but I prefer temporary retirement.
1. I love yoga.
2. I have discovered a yoga studio in Santa Monica that is "donation only." Their idea is that even if you can't afford to practice yoga, that doesn't mean you shouldn't be able to. This policy really works in my favor.
3. For a few Tuesdays in a row I have been going to a yoga class at 8:30 pm, when I get home from work. The teacher always gives a fantastic workout--actually, last night I think I sweat the most I have ever sweat in a yoga class. Which means my own perspiration may have ended the California drought. It was disgusting. Anyways, the thing I can't stand about the teacher is the amount of talking she does during class. She has a tendency to talk about how terrible her life was before she discovered yoga; how her mom was an alcoholic and her dad left them, and she only ever dated guys who cheated, and now she's a single parent, and the worst heartbreak she suffered was when her dog of 10 years dad, and on and on and on. She also has a tendency to tell these stories while the class is in some sort of pose for an extended period of time. I am sorry, but I don't want to hear about your miserable pre-yoga life while I am struggling not to tear my crotchal region in pigeon pose.
4. Prior to living in California I always noticed that yoga classes were mostly female. When I moved here I discovered this gender statistic is not true at all. Good for you, California men, for being both healthy, and secure enough in your masculinity to wear flowy pants and point your toes!
5. I love the food at Trader Joes. Specific favorites would be the dark chocolate covered blueberries or the organic ginger snaps.
6. I hate shopping at Trader Joes. The parking lot alone is a nightmare, and with LA drivers, it often feels like a battlefield in which remaining passive doesn't leave you dead, it leaves you sitting in your car for a solid half hour while some aggressive assholes keep stealing spots in front of you. When you make it inside the place, it only gets worse when you practically have to knock people out just to get to the trail mix in the nut aisle. I wonder when shopping at TJ's is actually a pleasant experience. Perhaps around 10 am on a Tuesday, when all the corporate hacks are at work, the housewives and moms are at yoga, and the "artists" are still sleeping. Alas, I'll never know.
7. Without meaning to, I oftentimes wake up to my alarm clock and scream something at the top of my lungs. This morning it was, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME!" and then I ran into the shower. I again had to scream when near the end of the shower, one of my roommates had turned on her shower, consequently turning mine to a driplet of ice water. Morning is not a good time for me.
8. Currently my right eye is smaller than the left. I officially have a wonky eye, which means I have something in common with Paris Hilton. The shame.
9. Roommate #2 is shopping around her cat aka The Devil Incarnate. I want to have a going away party in which we honor his departure by doing the things he loves best--jumping over the sofa while simultaneously clawing at innocent bystanders and then eating a stuffed animal or maybe a tax return.
10. I want to rewind back to mid-November when I didn't have a job and my days consisted of eating, sleeping, exercising, "networking," surfing the interwebs, napping, watching tv, eating, sleeping. Some call it unemployment, but I prefer temporary retirement.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Forget about internet dating...
Apparently all I need to replace that void in my life (due to lack of male companionship) is a pillow. Yes folks, a pillow.
The article comes courtesy Roommate #1 (who received it from a different friend--love the single girl email chain on this one) and is the most hilarious/pathetic/amazing invention for all those recently single women adjusting to nights alone (and I am not referring to a vibrator, FYI.)
So glad MSNBC brings the pressing and important news to the forefront.
The article comes courtesy Roommate #1 (who received it from a different friend--love the single girl email chain on this one) and is the most hilarious/pathetic/amazing invention for all those recently single women adjusting to nights alone (and I am not referring to a vibrator, FYI.)
So glad MSNBC brings the pressing and important news to the forefront.
Pizza Heist!
I just saw this headline on CNN:
"Pizza heist lands freed killer back in pen"
I love CNN.com because several times a day you can check out the website and find a brilliantly terrible headline such as the above.
Nothing, however, could ever top the Police Beat, from my hometown newspaper The Forecaster. If you wanted to know who was loitering outside of Dunkin Donuts two nights ago or which high school seniors are due for a court appearance thanks to underage drinking or who called the police regarding a mysterious howling sound on the Woodlands Country Club golf course last Sunday, then this was the perfect column to find all sorts of perfectly irrelevant information. I attempted to find the Police Beat online, but no luck yet--just the Forecaster website with links to news and sports, and of course, the requisite picture of snow and freezing cold weather.
Indeed: Maine, the way life should be!
"Pizza heist lands freed killer back in pen"
I love CNN.com because several times a day you can check out the website and find a brilliantly terrible headline such as the above.
Nothing, however, could ever top the Police Beat, from my hometown newspaper The Forecaster. If you wanted to know who was loitering outside of Dunkin Donuts two nights ago or which high school seniors are due for a court appearance thanks to underage drinking or who called the police regarding a mysterious howling sound on the Woodlands Country Club golf course last Sunday, then this was the perfect column to find all sorts of perfectly irrelevant information. I attempted to find the Police Beat online, but no luck yet--just the Forecaster website with links to news and sports, and of course, the requisite picture of snow and freezing cold weather.
Indeed: Maine, the way life should be!
Monday, February 18, 2008
Happy Presidents' Day!
I don't fully understand Presidents' Day. Are we supposed to honor our current president? Remember those of the past? Go to the Ford dealership to get a GREAT DEAL on a 2008 Explorer!!????
I am going to honor Presidents' Day the best way I know how--with a little tribute to my three favorite Presidents, as seen on TV.
3. President David Palmer (Dennis Haysbert) on 24.
President Palmer was the man. For four seasons of 24 he graced our television screens with his imposing presence. Despite psycho wives, assassination attempts, and recurring over dramatic plots of terrorism on the US of A, Palmer remained the perfect public figure and political counterpart to Kiefer Sutherland's Jack Bauer, and delivered lines like this one, "Now, Jack, if it were anyone else, I would ask you if you were sure. But with you, I already know the answer. God bless you, and good luck," with serious conviction and a pretty baddass oratory style. (In a related topic, I once used President David Palmer as a supportive argument for why Barack Obama is more electable than Hillary Clinton. I'm all kinds of smart.) I would probably feel comfortable with Palmer in the White House, but only if he had Jack Bauer by his side, although contrary to popular belief (see Dwight Schrute, Jack Donaghy), he doesn't exist.
2. President Laura Roslin (Mary McDonnell) on Battlestar Galactica.
President Roslin, among many, is one of the best reasons to watch BSG (that's what we fans call it, obv). I mean, if you are 43rd in line for the Presidency and then some aliens stage a nuclear attack on the human race and you are forced to live in spaceships with all the remaining surivors while hunting for a new home (Earth) and find yourself, the former Minister of Education (and did I mention you have cancer), the President of the Twelve Colonies with a whole shitload of responsibilities, not to mention continuing alien attacks, mutinous constituents, and an arguable insane, villainous Vice President, then it's safe to say you probably have my vote. Laura Roslin kicks all kinds of ass. She's also got this crazy romantic tension with Admiral Adama (Edward James Olmos) so you could probably call her a cougar. (On a side note--I love that term!) Anyways, if Roslin can handle the demands of the office considering the circumstances, it makes me wish George W. Bush were also a fictional character.
1. President Josiah "Jed" Bartlett (Martin Sheen) on The West Wing.
President Bartlett could probably be described as a dream president. He's the ideal: incredibly smart, clever, level-headed, tough when he needs to be, has a decent sense of humor, a lot of personal integrity, and he's pretty down with G-O-D. Despite that whole issue of lying to the American public about his MS, and a brief moment when he had to step down after his daughter's kidnapping (who wouldn't step down after that?) Jed Bartlett embodies the perfect guy for the job. And, moreso than 24 or Battlestar Galactica, The West Wing is definitely the most realistic of these shows, and thus Barlett the most plausible Commander in Chief. Furthermore, I learned a lot from those years of watching Bartlett as the POTUS on TV. I also felt pretty involved watching The West Wing. I may have been in bed in my dorm room in Middlebury, watching an eleven-episode marathon, but where else can you get passionately excited about politicos arguing over lobbyists or getting enough votes for a new bill to be past? Certainly this can't exist in the real world! (Note the half-ass sarcasm, please.) In any case, I can only dream of a President like Jed Bartlett. Or a senior staffer as good looking as Sam Seaborn (Rob Lowe--now taking a presidential turn on ABC's Brothers & Sisters). Best seasons to watch Barlett in his glory would be 1 through 5. Go watch, you'll thank yourself.
I am going to honor Presidents' Day the best way I know how--with a little tribute to my three favorite Presidents, as seen on TV.
3. President David Palmer (Dennis Haysbert) on 24.
President Palmer was the man. For four seasons of 24 he graced our television screens with his imposing presence. Despite psycho wives, assassination attempts, and recurring over dramatic plots of terrorism on the US of A, Palmer remained the perfect public figure and political counterpart to Kiefer Sutherland's Jack Bauer, and delivered lines like this one, "Now, Jack, if it were anyone else, I would ask you if you were sure. But with you, I already know the answer. God bless you, and good luck," with serious conviction and a pretty baddass oratory style. (In a related topic, I once used President David Palmer as a supportive argument for why Barack Obama is more electable than Hillary Clinton. I'm all kinds of smart.) I would probably feel comfortable with Palmer in the White House, but only if he had Jack Bauer by his side, although contrary to popular belief (see Dwight Schrute, Jack Donaghy), he doesn't exist.
2. President Laura Roslin (Mary McDonnell) on Battlestar Galactica.
President Roslin, among many, is one of the best reasons to watch BSG (that's what we fans call it, obv). I mean, if you are 43rd in line for the Presidency and then some aliens stage a nuclear attack on the human race and you are forced to live in spaceships with all the remaining surivors while hunting for a new home (Earth) and find yourself, the former Minister of Education (and did I mention you have cancer), the President of the Twelve Colonies with a whole shitload of responsibilities, not to mention continuing alien attacks, mutinous constituents, and an arguable insane, villainous Vice President, then it's safe to say you probably have my vote. Laura Roslin kicks all kinds of ass. She's also got this crazy romantic tension with Admiral Adama (Edward James Olmos) so you could probably call her a cougar. (On a side note--I love that term!) Anyways, if Roslin can handle the demands of the office considering the circumstances, it makes me wish George W. Bush were also a fictional character.
1. President Josiah "Jed" Bartlett (Martin Sheen) on The West Wing.
President Bartlett could probably be described as a dream president. He's the ideal: incredibly smart, clever, level-headed, tough when he needs to be, has a decent sense of humor, a lot of personal integrity, and he's pretty down with G-O-D. Despite that whole issue of lying to the American public about his MS, and a brief moment when he had to step down after his daughter's kidnapping (who wouldn't step down after that?) Jed Bartlett embodies the perfect guy for the job. And, moreso than 24 or Battlestar Galactica, The West Wing is definitely the most realistic of these shows, and thus Barlett the most plausible Commander in Chief. Furthermore, I learned a lot from those years of watching Bartlett as the POTUS on TV. I also felt pretty involved watching The West Wing. I may have been in bed in my dorm room in Middlebury, watching an eleven-episode marathon, but where else can you get passionately excited about politicos arguing over lobbyists or getting enough votes for a new bill to be past? Certainly this can't exist in the real world! (Note the half-ass sarcasm, please.) In any case, I can only dream of a President like Jed Bartlett. Or a senior staffer as good looking as Sam Seaborn (Rob Lowe--now taking a presidential turn on ABC's Brothers & Sisters). Best seasons to watch Barlett in his glory would be 1 through 5. Go watch, you'll thank yourself.
Friday, February 15, 2008
There Will Be Oscars (More Milkshake!)
I can't get enough of There Will Be Blood or its parodies (or milkshakes). Thanks to the clever guys at FunnyorDie.com, here's another gem.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Is it Friday yet?
Some thoughts for this slooooow Thursday afternoon:
1. Thanks to Roommate #1, I have recently (as in 5 minutes ago) developed an obssession and addiction to playing Scrabulous on Facebook. (If you have Facebook, don't download this application because you will neglect all other obligations in your life). If only I had discovered this when the strike was still going on. Attempting to do it now is a bad idea.
2. This morning when driving to work I had to slow down at a crosswalk for a pedestrian. Turns out the pedestrian was Chris O'Donnell aka Robin aka McVet (Grey's Anatomy reference, duh). At first I was excited, but then annoyed because dude was moving way too slow and I was rushing to get to work.
3. I woke up late today and when I hopped into the shower I stood for about five minutes, thinking how I just didn't feel like showering today. So then I got out. Fascinating creature, aren't I?
4. New lesson learned: when you use your boss's credit card to buy lunch, don't forget to give it back to him so that he doesn't yell at you later when he's making a purchase. Bigger burn is when that purchase is roses for you, the lowly but devoted assistant, on Valentine's Day.
5. My only Valentine thus far has come from my boss. MY BOSS.
6. After work I am meeting also-single Roommate #1 to imbibe copious amount of alcoholic beverages. This will be in place of what might be our fallback Heart Day activity--watching Family Guy in our sweatpants, volume on high to drown out whatever sounds might be coming from Roommate #2's bedroom (she has a boyfriend, thus no explanation necessary).
7. I am fantastic at multitasking. Granted, it's taking me a while to polish off this post, but I am doing this while playing two different games of scrabulous, writing a personal email, listening to a call, placing other calls, sending emails, reading emails, taking notes, eating mini cupcakes, ignoring the urge to vomit after eating mini cupcakes (I will never learn that lesson), stalking clients on IMDB pro, attempting to solicit invitations to Oscar parties, and so many other busy and important things I can't even get into. You're impressed.
8. I am so over this week.
1. Thanks to Roommate #1, I have recently (as in 5 minutes ago) developed an obssession and addiction to playing Scrabulous on Facebook. (If you have Facebook, don't download this application because you will neglect all other obligations in your life). If only I had discovered this when the strike was still going on. Attempting to do it now is a bad idea.
2. This morning when driving to work I had to slow down at a crosswalk for a pedestrian. Turns out the pedestrian was Chris O'Donnell aka Robin aka McVet (Grey's Anatomy reference, duh). At first I was excited, but then annoyed because dude was moving way too slow and I was rushing to get to work.
3. I woke up late today and when I hopped into the shower I stood for about five minutes, thinking how I just didn't feel like showering today. So then I got out. Fascinating creature, aren't I?
4. New lesson learned: when you use your boss's credit card to buy lunch, don't forget to give it back to him so that he doesn't yell at you later when he's making a purchase. Bigger burn is when that purchase is roses for you, the lowly but devoted assistant, on Valentine's Day.
5. My only Valentine thus far has come from my boss. MY BOSS.
6. After work I am meeting also-single Roommate #1 to imbibe copious amount of alcoholic beverages. This will be in place of what might be our fallback Heart Day activity--watching Family Guy in our sweatpants, volume on high to drown out whatever sounds might be coming from Roommate #2's bedroom (she has a boyfriend, thus no explanation necessary).
7. I am fantastic at multitasking. Granted, it's taking me a while to polish off this post, but I am doing this while playing two different games of scrabulous, writing a personal email, listening to a call, placing other calls, sending emails, reading emails, taking notes, eating mini cupcakes, ignoring the urge to vomit after eating mini cupcakes (I will never learn that lesson), stalking clients on IMDB pro, attempting to solicit invitations to Oscar parties, and so many other busy and important things I can't even get into. You're impressed.
8. I am so over this week.
I Will Not Be Your Valentine
In honor of Valentine's Day today, I have to post this hilarious email I received on my Match.com account today. It's vomit-inducing. (I would include the accompanying photo, but for this poor guy's sake, I wont.)
Again, what is the deal with dudes using emoticons? STOP. NOW. Also, this further supports my theory that Match.com is really only good for gathering writing material.
Happy Valentine's Day.
From "thekingofpersia"
hey u !! how 's going? just read your profile and thought I would write you some thing, my name is ali, you seem to be genuine and totally hot !! just like me ;) how's your week going so far? mine is pretty busy with work and school anyway if you wanna know more you know what to do :)
take care
ali
Again, what is the deal with dudes using emoticons? STOP. NOW. Also, this further supports my theory that Match.com is really only good for gathering writing material.
Happy Valentine's Day.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Pop Up Video
I realize I said last week that I would not post Heidi Montag's disgusting music video on my blog. Well, I have to go back on that promise... somewhat.
This is the most fantastic mockery of this talentless twit I have seen in the craptastic pop media yet. Thank you, Best Week Ever.
This is the most fantastic mockery of this talentless twit I have seen in the craptastic pop media yet. Thank you, Best Week Ever.
milkshake website + Milkshake movie + actual milkshake - nausea = love
Yesterday I read this article in Entertainment Weekly and am newly obsessed with this website. I commonly refer to There Will Be Blood as Milkshake. (Well actually, just with Roommate #1, but I think that qualifies as "commonly" considering she is one of maybe three friends I have in LA. Well, I have more than three. Four.) Anyways, I am really having a milkshake moment because I just had some of a delish Oreo milkshake from the horrendous Hamburger Hamlet across the street. (Some of you may recall that episode of Entourage where the Hamlet was mentioned as that restaurant in LA no agent would be caught dead in. My boss orders from there an average of 3 times a week. Truth.) Anyways, that milkshake reminded me of Milkshake starring Daniel Day Lewis (go see it now and you will think of milkshakes in a new way entirely). I am now going through the nausea part of the milkshake, but fortunately I have a silly website about drinking milkshakes to distract me.
Wow, how many times can I write milkshake in one post? (9) I do love a good milkshake. (10) This brings me to a frustrating question: what is the difference between a milkshake and a frappe? Someone, please explain!
Wow, how many times can I write milkshake in one post? (9) I do love a good milkshake. (10) This brings me to a frustrating question: what is the difference between a milkshake and a frappe? Someone, please explain!
Some Wednesday Nostalgia
Wednesdays rival Mondays for my least favorite day of the week. This video makes me happy. Did anyone else watch this show? In retrospect it's fairly creepy looking at this motley crew of animal-human hybrids, but I recall absolutely loving the whole thing. Now, I just think that the creators of the show were probably smoking a lot of pot and used the show as a forum for reliving acid trips.
I think we only had about 4 television channels when I was younger, but I have very distinct, and very fond memories of watching a lot of Sesame Street, Fraggle Rock, Garfield and Friends, and of course--Zoobilee Zoo.
Monday, February 11, 2008
Pet Peeves (Part One of an Endless, Multi-Part Series)
Pet Peeve:
When you are going to the bathroom and the toilet has one of those motion censor flushes and it flushes while you are doing your business. I don't know if this is something men experience, but it happens to women. Your ass gets wet. It is really, really annoying. I hate it.
Pet Peeve:
LA Drivers. Words can't express my disdain for the vast majority of people driving vehicles in this city. I think they are especially rude because I have Maine license plates. For a population that is generally laid back, when LA folk are driving they are terrifying. A lot of road rage. I don't think as many people in Los Angeles attend therapy as they do in New York. Maybe that would help.
When you are going to the bathroom and the toilet has one of those motion censor flushes and it flushes while you are doing your business. I don't know if this is something men experience, but it happens to women. Your ass gets wet. It is really, really annoying. I hate it.
Pet Peeve:
LA Drivers. Words can't express my disdain for the vast majority of people driving vehicles in this city. I think they are especially rude because I have Maine license plates. For a population that is generally laid back, when LA folk are driving they are terrifying. A lot of road rage. I don't think as many people in Los Angeles attend therapy as they do in New York. Maybe that would help.
A Lesson in Self Control
My dad is always talking about self control. Well, he is always talking about a lot of things and he likes to teach me wise lessons, often through telling a story, or giving an example, much like he is presenting a power point to a group of fascinated philosophy students. One thing he loves to lecture on, or warn me about, are often things he does himself. Case in point: Self control or lack thereof, especially when it comes to desserts.
I am very similar to my father in a lot of ways, and one thing I inherited was a serious sweet tooth and a pension for chocolate. (My mother had this to a lesser degree, although I remember being little and opening random cupboards and drawers to discover a bag of Twizzlers, that was probably several months old. I actually think she preferred them stale. This is not at all surprising.) I don't like pastries or fruity desserts, but I do love chocolate. Dark chocolate, specifically. I also love ice cream. Over the past three years I've started to notice a strange effect after I eat such desserts, however, and am confused as to what is going on.
For example, about five minutes ago, after I ate my delicious Chinese Chicken Salad for lunch (I probably eat 3 of these a week, minimum), I moved onto a small little dessert. I've been on a York Peppermint Patty kick, but last night at Whole Paycheck (Whole Foods, obv) I purchased one of their delish flourless chocolate cake slices, and had a part of it last night, saving the rest for my post-lunch treat. I ate the cake, marveling at its tastiness (how do people cook such wonders?) but I knew in about five minutes I would be regretting even the first bite. Every time I eat anything sweet, like ice cream, chocolate, even a butter croissant (which I rarely eat, except in times of desperation. I just read that. I sound like an asshole), any one of these treats leaves me with the overwhelming sense of nausea.
My dad would tell me how I need to learn self control and to just not eat the sweets, (I am starting to think I might have a slight lactose intolerance, which would definitely explain the chocolate and ice cream) but the thing is, I don't want to. Sometimes, there is nothing better than a perfect chocolate cake. I am trying to use a York Peppermint Patty to satisfy this dessert craving, but it's not always effective. Hence the cake.
What I am really saying is that all I want to do is vomit all over my keyboard right now. The feeling will pass in about another five to ten minutes, but until then, I feel positively sick to my stomach. That's really the point of this post. To complain. And so I can distract myself from this miserable sensation. I am nervous my boss will walk over to me and see the look of displeasure I am currently wearing and ask what's wrong. Because it's my own fault. I must be lactose intolerant. Self control can only get you so far, because in the end, it might just be a medical condition. Fingers crossed.
I am very similar to my father in a lot of ways, and one thing I inherited was a serious sweet tooth and a pension for chocolate. (My mother had this to a lesser degree, although I remember being little and opening random cupboards and drawers to discover a bag of Twizzlers, that was probably several months old. I actually think she preferred them stale. This is not at all surprising.) I don't like pastries or fruity desserts, but I do love chocolate. Dark chocolate, specifically. I also love ice cream. Over the past three years I've started to notice a strange effect after I eat such desserts, however, and am confused as to what is going on.
For example, about five minutes ago, after I ate my delicious Chinese Chicken Salad for lunch (I probably eat 3 of these a week, minimum), I moved onto a small little dessert. I've been on a York Peppermint Patty kick, but last night at Whole Paycheck (Whole Foods, obv) I purchased one of their delish flourless chocolate cake slices, and had a part of it last night, saving the rest for my post-lunch treat. I ate the cake, marveling at its tastiness (how do people cook such wonders?) but I knew in about five minutes I would be regretting even the first bite. Every time I eat anything sweet, like ice cream, chocolate, even a butter croissant (which I rarely eat, except in times of desperation. I just read that. I sound like an asshole), any one of these treats leaves me with the overwhelming sense of nausea.
My dad would tell me how I need to learn self control and to just not eat the sweets, (I am starting to think I might have a slight lactose intolerance, which would definitely explain the chocolate and ice cream) but the thing is, I don't want to. Sometimes, there is nothing better than a perfect chocolate cake. I am trying to use a York Peppermint Patty to satisfy this dessert craving, but it's not always effective. Hence the cake.
What I am really saying is that all I want to do is vomit all over my keyboard right now. The feeling will pass in about another five to ten minutes, but until then, I feel positively sick to my stomach. That's really the point of this post. To complain. And so I can distract myself from this miserable sensation. I am nervous my boss will walk over to me and see the look of displeasure I am currently wearing and ask what's wrong. Because it's my own fault. I must be lactose intolerant. Self control can only get you so far, because in the end, it might just be a medical condition. Fingers crossed.
Weekend Recap
Ah, Monday. That terrible, most dreaded day we are forced to face every week. I would give anything to teleport back to Friday, or better even to Saturday. Since this is not yet possible (except if you are Hayden Christenson in the new Doug Liman film Jumper, in theaters everywhere this Friday!) I must own up to reality. The weekend is over, the strike is over (essentially), and I need to wake up from this over-sunned stupor from the past few days and focus. But first, a few thoughts.
1. Regarding teleporation: if I were a superhero I would like this to be my superpower. This would have been especially helpful from the ages of 5-16, when I had a habit of vomiting every single time I flew on an airplane, oftentimes more than once (record is Maine to Colorado; 6 times).
2. I feel pretty foolish after reading this article. So apparently Maine does have a primary, or a caucus rather, and I could have voted! BUT I DIDN'T! Not only am I a hypocrite for giving Roommate #2 so much shit for not voting on Super Tuesday, but I look like a serious dumbass for going around telling people I couldn't vote because Maine doesn't have a primary or caucus. However, I must say I am thrilled that Obama won the state. Go Maine!
3. On Saturday I nearly had a stroke while hiking. It was weird.
4. On Sunday I went rollerblading from Santa Monica to Marina Del Ray (this is a little over 10 miles round trip). Apparently I had gotten over the near-stroke experience. Also, I love that rollerblading is acceptable in California, and that I can relive my glory days as a figure skater anytime I want to.
5. Every day I discover more and more that I am not as "cool" as I sometimes think and that I am actually a complete dork through and through (see above points 1 and 4). I think Dwight Schrute might be my soulmate.
6. I considered watching the Grammy's last night, really just so I could "live blog," but after catching about five minutes of the show I realized, I don't care about the Grammy's. At all. They are not even worthy of an imaginary live blog.
7. I watched The Kite Runner last night and cried like a little baby. Then I ate some pretzels and browsed various titles in the "world" music category on iTunes. I contemplated purchasing some jams by an Uzbeki chick and then realized it was 11 pm on a Sunday night and why was I sitting in the living room by myself browsing world music online?
8. Again, per point #7. I am a dork. Actually, no, I am just weird.
9. I went to Taco Bell for the first time ever on Saturday night. I was overwhelmed with the decision-making process so my friend ordered for me. While I normally have an aversion to fast food, I will concede that the Crunchwrap Supreme was a delectable treat of utter goodness.
And with thoughts of Taco Bell still on the mind, that's all, for now...
1. Regarding teleporation: if I were a superhero I would like this to be my superpower. This would have been especially helpful from the ages of 5-16, when I had a habit of vomiting every single time I flew on an airplane, oftentimes more than once (record is Maine to Colorado; 6 times).
2. I feel pretty foolish after reading this article. So apparently Maine does have a primary, or a caucus rather, and I could have voted! BUT I DIDN'T! Not only am I a hypocrite for giving Roommate #2 so much shit for not voting on Super Tuesday, but I look like a serious dumbass for going around telling people I couldn't vote because Maine doesn't have a primary or caucus. However, I must say I am thrilled that Obama won the state. Go Maine!
3. On Saturday I nearly had a stroke while hiking. It was weird.
4. On Sunday I went rollerblading from Santa Monica to Marina Del Ray (this is a little over 10 miles round trip). Apparently I had gotten over the near-stroke experience. Also, I love that rollerblading is acceptable in California, and that I can relive my glory days as a figure skater anytime I want to.
5. Every day I discover more and more that I am not as "cool" as I sometimes think and that I am actually a complete dork through and through (see above points 1 and 4). I think Dwight Schrute might be my soulmate.
6. I considered watching the Grammy's last night, really just so I could "live blog," but after catching about five minutes of the show I realized, I don't care about the Grammy's. At all. They are not even worthy of an imaginary live blog.
7. I watched The Kite Runner last night and cried like a little baby. Then I ate some pretzels and browsed various titles in the "world" music category on iTunes. I contemplated purchasing some jams by an Uzbeki chick and then realized it was 11 pm on a Sunday night and why was I sitting in the living room by myself browsing world music online?
8. Again, per point #7. I am a dork. Actually, no, I am just weird.
9. I went to Taco Bell for the first time ever on Saturday night. I was overwhelmed with the decision-making process so my friend ordered for me. While I normally have an aversion to fast food, I will concede that the Crunchwrap Supreme was a delectable treat of utter goodness.
And with thoughts of Taco Bell still on the mind, that's all, for now...
Friday, February 08, 2008
SAVE FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS!
Okay people. My favorite show au moment, Friday Night Lights, is in serious, I repeat SERIOUS, danger of cancellation. This is a show that everyone will like. Everyone! It is beautifully written, acted, filmed--the works. It's even won a Peabody Award. That's some major stuff. Check out this article from E! Online for a little more info about the show, why you should be watching and some insider scoop on it's future. Also--you can buy season one at Target for only $20! Do it and you will watch it in a week--or less. It's that good!
Requisite Post About Scientology
I've recently become somewhat fascinated by Scientology. I guess this means my induction in Hollywood is now complete. Next stop, rehab! Or jail? Hmm. Which one comes first these days...
Actually (and anyone who knows me can confirm this)I have a longstanding fascination with studying religion. It was my minor in college, but I remembering being in the 4th grade and telling my parents I was going to be a nun. (This may have been more to do with a phase in which I was afraid of boys and their cooties). Because of my mixed religious background (WASP mother, Jewish father) I grew up going to a Unitarian church and sporadically celebrating Jewish holidays. I am not going to lie, come December it was a great way to milk the gift giving season. However, during my freshman year of high school, I actually started to take religion seriously, and was baptized by the Episcopalian Church and confirmed a year later. During college, when I was actually studying religious in an academic sense and attending church from time to time, my dad once cracked a joke about how he had one kid who loved Jesus, and one who looked liked him (witty guy, no?).
I never studied Scientology in college, I pretty much stuck with the three Western traditions (I don't even think Middlebury had a single course that mentioned Scientology), but I remember the summer I lived in New York City to intern at Us Weekly was when I first started to really notice a Scientology presence. By presence I mean those strange people who sit in the subway and ask you if you want to take a "stress test." Fun fact: these people are Scientologists. And they are auditing your reactive mind... or something.
Up until recently, my knowledge of Scientology has been limited to the following things: John Travolta, L. Ron Hubbard, some bad science fiction book by LRH, subway stress tests, something about thetans, and Tom Cruise ripping Matt Lauer a new one on the Today Show. Since I've been in LA, I've learned a few new things. For example, the Scientology "campus" up on Hollywood Blvd is HUGE. There are a few blocks of just Scientology buildings and stores smack dab in the middle of one of the most touristy areas of the city. All the windows seem to have multiple copies of LRH's book Dianetics, which I am tempted to read, just to see what all the fuss is about. I've also learned that there are a ton of celebrities who are Scientologists--way more than we realize. (Google: Celebrity Scientologists. It's fun.) In fact, some of our companies biggest clients are Scientologists. And, like most of America, I have learned that Tom Cruise is completely bat shit crazy. But that's cool. Anyways, there's a definite Scientology presence in Hollywood and I am starting to grow more and more intrigued. The other day at work I began developing a plan to try to pose as a truly interested candidate so I could infiltrate the Church and learn all the ins and outs (probably not the first to want to do this, I am sure), but then I was told that yearly dues amount to something like $30,000. Considering that is more than I make on my meager assistant salary--never mind.
Alas, I have resorted to Wikipedia for my Scientology interests, and will forever remain on the outskirts, wondering what sort of drugs Tom Cruise is on and if I will ever be able to get some.
One other thing: the giant Mormon church, excuse me--Temple of Jesus Christ and the Latter Day Saints, on Santa Monica Blvd is the most gargantuan eye sore. I bet L. Ron would have some serious size envy about that one.
Thursday, February 07, 2008
Self Googling
I seem to have run out of things to do at work to pass the time. So just a second ago I Googled my full name and in quotes, to make sure that I would get ONLY me. The following embarrassing four search results came up. Feel free to read them and then mock me, much like I mock myself. My categorizing as DWEEB is quite evident.
Mail/Pop Culture News/News & Notes/Entertainment Weekly
I've officially shared one of the most nerdy/embarrassing things I've ever done with the world
Search: JRR Tolkein/EW.com
Should I be embarrassed or excited that my name is now forever linked to all who search for JRR Tolkein on Entertainment Weekly's website? Probably embarrassed.
Thanksgiving Day 4-miler
My time? Also embarrassing
Cool Running: Portland Thanksgiving Day Race Results
And again.
Interestingly enough, if I Google my name and use my real name Ann, instead of Annie (again with my last name and in quotes), I get some very different results, but also quite entertaining.
Highbeam Encyclopedia - Search Results for "portland connecticut"
I don't actually see myself anywhere on this page, but I guess it has something to do with going to Middlebury?
COLLEGE NEWS - Portland Press Herald (Maine) - HighBeam Research
Ah, college announcements. The glory days.
Cool Running
For this race you'll note my cousin came in 13th while I placed a stellar 108th
Mail/Pop Culture News/News & Notes/Entertainment Weekly
I've officially shared one of the most nerdy/embarrassing things I've ever done with the world
Search: JRR Tolkein/EW.com
Should I be embarrassed or excited that my name is now forever linked to all who search for JRR Tolkein on Entertainment Weekly's website? Probably embarrassed.
Thanksgiving Day 4-miler
My time? Also embarrassing
Cool Running: Portland Thanksgiving Day Race Results
And again.
Interestingly enough, if I Google my name and use my real name Ann, instead of Annie (again with my last name and in quotes), I get some very different results, but also quite entertaining.
Highbeam Encyclopedia - Search Results for "portland connecticut"
I don't actually see myself anywhere on this page, but I guess it has something to do with going to Middlebury?
COLLEGE NEWS - Portland Press Herald (Maine) - HighBeam Research
Ah, college announcements. The glory days.
Cool Running
For this race you'll note my cousin came in 13th while I placed a stellar 108th
Doctor President
Go to this website: http://www.speakout.com/VoteMatch/. It tells you who you really want to vote for after you answer a few questions about issues. Apparently I want Clinton, then Edwards, then Obama, then some dude I'd never heard of named Gravel, then Ron Paul (yes!) then McCain, and so on. Interesting.
Whatever, I still LOVE Barack.
Actually let's take about the fantastic Ron Paul for a moment. He has two first names! And he's a doctor... a gynecologist! Doctor President Ron Paul! His campaign is all about YouTube! I love it! The other Republican candidates can't stand him! Fantastic!
Whatever, I still LOVE Barack.
Actually let's take about the fantastic Ron Paul for a moment. He has two first names! And he's a doctor... a gynecologist! Doctor President Ron Paul! His campaign is all about YouTube! I love it! The other Republican candidates can't stand him! Fantastic!
Match Date #2
I left work last night and the last thing I wanted to do was to go on a blind date. I wanted nothing more than to put on pajamas and go to bed. (Incredible how one sleepless night the beginning of the week will offset every day thereafter, apparently I haven't quite adjusted to the whole less-than-10 hours of sleep thing yet). Drive on Sunset back to my apartment, I was struggling to amp myself up to go on a date, as I felt like my eyes were already struggling to say open at 7:30 pm. Wow, I thought, I feel lucky for the guy who gets to meet me in this state!
Anyways, I pulled my shit together, gussied up in my East Coast prep meets California casual best, and headed to the designated meeting spot, which was the always crowded bar/restaurant Father's Office. Even though the restaurant is walking distance from my apartment, I drove--as a safety precaution (is that over thinking?) and because I needed to do some grocery shopping after the date (I have a regular breakfast of 2 eggs over-easy and recently I'd been forced to resort to the oatmeal at work routine).
At exactly 8 pm I walked up to Father's Office and introduced myself to the guy who was clearly my date, waiting for me outside. We walked into the restaurant and finding it far too crowded we went to some small Italian restaurant a few doors down.
Here are some general thoughts... First of all, I am going to refer to date #2 as LT (stands for LOW TALKER... I had to ask him to repeat himself several times throughout the course of the meal). LT was a nice guy, a remarkable improvement from Kal Penn--that's for sure--and the conversation went reasonably smoothly, and (bonus!) he paid for my dinner. I offered to split it with him but he kept saying his mother would kill him. And they say chivalry is dead! Despite the niceness, one thing really bugged me. Here is someone who on paper came off as outgoing, sarcastic, clever, etc--big personality and really interesting. Even in the few emails we had exchanged, I had gathered this opinion, and therefore I had some expectations. However, in person, where was the shine? The excitement? The personality? There had been so much potential! I can understand that someone might be nervous, but I guess the thing is that when it comes to ME--I am exactly who I say I am. I write how I talk. There are no illusions here.
After dinner we parted ways and I checked my watch as I walked back to my car. Exactly 9 pm. Wait a minute--is that normal? The entire thing was only one hour? This has to be weird.
I consulted with Roomate #2 about all these things this morning, while I lamented that Match.com was clearly not for me and just better for writing material and she pointed out a few things:
1. I've only been on two dates.
2. One hour for a dinner date is a little odd, but it happens, especially if you just aren't into it.
3. Maybe I am intimidating.
I think all these thoughts are excellent, especially number three. So I guess that means I need to either tone it down a little bit or find someone with a personality that's big enough to match mine...
I am also considering just meeting with weirdos so I can get some really good stories out of this whole thing. Oh which reminds me... here is the best email I've received on Match so far (I have yet to respond, not sure that I will). Enjoy.
Anyways, I pulled my shit together, gussied up in my East Coast prep meets California casual best, and headed to the designated meeting spot, which was the always crowded bar/restaurant Father's Office. Even though the restaurant is walking distance from my apartment, I drove--as a safety precaution (is that over thinking?) and because I needed to do some grocery shopping after the date (I have a regular breakfast of 2 eggs over-easy and recently I'd been forced to resort to the oatmeal at work routine).
At exactly 8 pm I walked up to Father's Office and introduced myself to the guy who was clearly my date, waiting for me outside. We walked into the restaurant and finding it far too crowded we went to some small Italian restaurant a few doors down.
Here are some general thoughts... First of all, I am going to refer to date #2 as LT (stands for LOW TALKER... I had to ask him to repeat himself several times throughout the course of the meal). LT was a nice guy, a remarkable improvement from Kal Penn--that's for sure--and the conversation went reasonably smoothly, and (bonus!) he paid for my dinner. I offered to split it with him but he kept saying his mother would kill him. And they say chivalry is dead! Despite the niceness, one thing really bugged me. Here is someone who on paper came off as outgoing, sarcastic, clever, etc--big personality and really interesting. Even in the few emails we had exchanged, I had gathered this opinion, and therefore I had some expectations. However, in person, where was the shine? The excitement? The personality? There had been so much potential! I can understand that someone might be nervous, but I guess the thing is that when it comes to ME--I am exactly who I say I am. I write how I talk. There are no illusions here.
After dinner we parted ways and I checked my watch as I walked back to my car. Exactly 9 pm. Wait a minute--is that normal? The entire thing was only one hour? This has to be weird.
I consulted with Roomate #2 about all these things this morning, while I lamented that Match.com was clearly not for me and just better for writing material and she pointed out a few things:
1. I've only been on two dates.
2. One hour for a dinner date is a little odd, but it happens, especially if you just aren't into it.
3. Maybe I am intimidating.
I think all these thoughts are excellent, especially number three. So I guess that means I need to either tone it down a little bit or find someone with a personality that's big enough to match mine...
I am also considering just meeting with weirdos so I can get some really good stories out of this whole thing. Oh which reminds me... here is the best email I've received on Match so far (I have yet to respond, not sure that I will). Enjoy.
So I figured it might be easier if I told you this right away, in order to get it out of the way so it doesn't have to be uncomfortable later.
In 8th grade I went to a movie with my girlfriend and two other buddies. We got there late, the theater was packed, so we had to sit in the very front row. That was the first mistake on my part. I also chose to wear loose fitting shorts over boxers that day. Mistake number two. As we were watching the movie, I decided to pull what, to me, seemed a natural move when you are in junior high and take your girlfriend to a theater: despite the fact there were several hundred people directly behind us, I leaned over and started kissing her. That was my final mistake. I stopped kissing my girlfriend when my friend, sitting immediately to my left, started poking me and pointing at my lap. Not even realizing it, I was clearly showing my "excitement" about the kiss. My "enthusiasm" was poking up under my shorts, illuminated perfectly by the light from the screen. Both my buddies were just about falling out of their seats giggling, and my girlfriend pushed herself as far away from me as possible, clearly as uncomfortable as a 14 year old girl could be. For years after that fateful day, my friends called me Woodrow, and, perhaps coincidentally or not, my girlfriend broke up with me a few weeks later. And that's my most embarrassing moment. I hope now that I have shared that with you things will be easier.
So, do you have any embarrassing stories? I promise once you tell one to someone it makes everything just go much smoother. Trust me.
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
The End is Near
With word spreading through Hollywood that come Monday, the WGA strike might be over, I started to think about how the strike's end might affect my existing LA life. I was re-reading this post from November, in which I talked about how desperately I wanted the strike to end so I could get a job. Now that I have a job, I am loving life with the strike! Work is slow (or manageable at least) and I can spend a good chunk of the day writing in the blog. No more! This period of sweet, sweet ease is probably going to end soon, so it's back to infrequent blog posts about Celine Dion or my sweating problem, long days of trying to manage a highly stressed boss, and never leaving the desk to use the bathroom which has a good chance of resulting in a urinary tract infection. Maybe I should quit while I'm ahead!
No, I won't do that, but I am curious to find out what this job will be like when we are in full force. And fingers crossed there will be new episodes of The Office within a month.
No, I won't do that, but I am curious to find out what this job will be like when we are in full force. And fingers crossed there will be new episodes of The Office within a month.
Fatherly Advice
So somewhere along the way I forgot that my dad reads the blog and therefore he now knows things about me he probably doesn't want to, and I probably don't want him to know. Which brings me to Match. When I had the revelation after posting about Match that my dad would soon discover this fun fact I decided I would just deflect any questions that might come up and pretend it wasn't happening. Then, a few days ago, I get this email:
Aw, Dad. So wise, so intuitive, so smart to avoid talking to me about EW! BOYS! and stick with what we are good at: making fun of people. No, that's not what I mean, but I love the fact that we both seem to have determined internet dating to be a fantastic place for character study and writing material. Like father, like daughter, no? And fun fact: my dad met my step-mom from one of these dating sites, and they are happy as clams. So, who knows...
And don't worry, I have another date tonight which means a full report tomorrow.
Hi Annie,
I read your blog and saw that you're on match - this is not the email of fatherly advice about dating that you may think. All I wanted to tell you that (as you know I did this in a different age group) is that (1) you have to approach it with a spirit of adventure; and, (2) it's a numbers game. I don't think it's different at any age because you're dealing with the general population: 10% are really and truly weird people; 80% are nice, often very smart, will have no connection with you, you'll never see them again nor will you have any interest in doing so; 9% are people you'd like to know better, be friends with and possibly more; 1% are perfect for you. So it means going out a lot and even signing up on other sites as well.
But the best part is the having a spirit of adventure and that's what is redeeming about the 10% who are weirdos, as long as you're safe. I have great stories, character studies and some good material for writing about the odd things that people do or say. I even have a file of emails of people spilling their guts about things they wouldn't talk to their best friends about. I don't think it's an invasion of privacy because I'd never reveal who they are - in fact, I don't even remember who they are, but what I have are little vignettes about real people's lives that I can use, combine, etc. in the writing, which I hope will entertain me into my elder years.
That's it. No fatherly advice about how to handle men, which I hope you're very relieved about.
Love,
Dad
Aw, Dad. So wise, so intuitive, so smart to avoid talking to me about EW! BOYS! and stick with what we are good at: making fun of people. No, that's not what I mean, but I love the fact that we both seem to have determined internet dating to be a fantastic place for character study and writing material. Like father, like daughter, no? And fun fact: my dad met my step-mom from one of these dating sites, and they are happy as clams. So, who knows...
And don't worry, I have another date tonight which means a full report tomorrow.
Live Blogging Super Tuesday
Okay so I didn't really live blog Super Tuesday, because instead I like to mock those who do. However, I woke up this morning and decided to revisit that sentiment, and perhaps try it out, maybe give you all a little sense of what my live blogging of Super Tuesday might have looked like... (all times are PST).
4:03 pm YES! Polls have closed in the East. Screw spending my idle time at work looking at celebrity blogs. It's primary time.
4:15 pm I scream to my boss, BARACK WON GEORGIA! He doesn't respond. This is not surprising. He often ignores me.
4:17 pm I temporarily lose interest because results aren't coming in fast enough. I spend 10 minutes in the kitchen looking for something to snack on that isn't leftover from a Christmas gift basket. Planter's Peanut Mix! Delicious!
5:03 pm More results, finally! I forgot about Huckabee, he's still in this? I am convinced that McCain will be the GOP front runner. Thank God, he's the only Republican I can stomach. Speaking of stomach, I am still hungry.
5:05 pm My boss calls my name: "Honey!" That means I have to do work. We start rolling out some phone calls. No one answers. Maybe everyone is watching election results? If only we had a TV in the office! Wait, we do! In the conference room... Alas, I am not permitted to leave my desk for such a frivolous cause and must continue to act as a dutiful assistant.
5:45 pm I engage in a heated argument with co-workers about Hillary vs. Barack. Tensions arise between me and the assistant who sits next to me. I am a stubborn little bitch which she's about to find out.
6:04 pm Hillary has picked up momentum. I'm getting nervous. An assistant from down the hall walks over, sees my glum look and asks with concern if I am okay. I respond, "No. Barack isn't winning as many states as I had hoped." He laughs at me and points out the last time two times I've been upset it's been about either the Patriots or Barack. I realize it is becoming more apparent that I have little to no interest in my job at the moment and feign excitement at an article about Vanity Fair canceling it's Oscar party. Oh those poor celebs!
6:53 pm My boss is in a frantic state. It has nothing to do with the election. All I can do is stare at CNN online and wonder why Barack isn't winning in a landslide. I want to scream, HILLARY HAS A MULLET! I restrain myself and hope I can leave soon.
7:11 pm Yes! I leave work, and get to my car in time to hear some commentary and speeches.
7:33 pm I call my dad and demand he tell me who he voted for. He reminds me that he, too, is registered in Maine and therefore didn't vote. But my step-mom voted for Obama. YES! He has good taste after all!
7:36 pm Hillary makes me uncomfortable when she gives a speech. I don't like when her voice raises a few octaves and becomes more shrill. I am nervous she is going to have a sore throat. I recommend Ricola. They are manufactured in Switzerland.
7:45 pm I walk through the door of my apartment to find Roommate #1 on the sofa with CNN blaring. I drop everything, throw on my after-work uniform (sweats and big tee) and join her in front of the television.
8:00 pm John McCain is talking. His jowls are funny looking. Wait a minute--is that his wife? GOOD GOD WOMAN! Roommate #1 wonders if she is a transvestite. With a hairdo like that, I think it's a possibility.
8:03 pm Polls have closed in California. I am overwhelmingly tense. I am also hungry. Soup it is. Chicken rice or chicken noodle? I can't decide! It's too close to call! How will I choose?
8:05 pm Chicken noodle.
8:15 pm Roommate #2 walks in. She is chipper and happy but I am too tense and intent at staring at Wolf Blitzer's beautiful silver hair and beard to say hello. I ask her if she voted and she says no. NO! BLASPHEMY! She couldn't decide whether to vote for Hillary or Barack. I make it my mission to make her feel guilty about this and then convince her why Barack is the guy for the job.
8:30 pm We watch the "Yes, We Can" video on full screen and blaring the volume. This is so effective, Roommate #2 begins to cry in inspiration and love for Obama. I have succeeded.
8:39 pm Barack is talking. He is inspirational, awe-inspiring. He's the black JFK! I am feeling the power! YES, WE CAN! SI, SE PUEDE! Barack even teaches me Spanish!
8:58 pm Time for dessert! Mmm chocolate bunt cake from Trader Joe's, leftover from the Superbowl party. Looks good. I proceed to eat said bunt cake, knowing full well it will probably make me feel nauseous in a few minutes.
9:16 pm I resist the urge to vomit the now digested bunt cake.
9:23 pm I take a moment to check my "connections" on Match.com. I become angry when a 31 year old from Costa Mesa has sent me a "wink." Does it not clearly state in my profile that I am not interested in meeting anyone who doesn't live on the West side or who is over the age of 30? Idiots!
9:43 pm California for Hillary? Wait a minute, I thought that all the celebrities were voting for Barack and aren't all the celebrities in Los Angeles? I am beginning to think there are flaws to my reasoning. I cannot reveal this to unsuspecting roommates. #2 still appears to be convinced by my arguments against Hillary (mullet alert!) and for Obama (you can't beat that oratory style!).
10:03 pm I've lost interest and I am getting tired. Wolf Blitzer is starting to bother me. With a name like that shouldn't he be in porn? Now it's Larry King. Definitely changing the channel. Hmm... what's on my DVR... ooh last week's Nip/Tuck. I hear they torture a CAA agent, yes!
11:08 pm I retire to my bedroom. (I "retire" as though I were in a period piece, apparently.) A quick final check online and I see that McCain is definitely the front runner and Dems are split between Clinton and Obama. I wonder if we wont have a democratic front runner until the convention. OMG this is just like an episode of The West Wing! I feel so involved.
11:35 pm Lights out. I'm exhausted. Maintaining an inner monologue is hard work.
4:03 pm YES! Polls have closed in the East. Screw spending my idle time at work looking at celebrity blogs. It's primary time.
4:15 pm I scream to my boss, BARACK WON GEORGIA! He doesn't respond. This is not surprising. He often ignores me.
4:17 pm I temporarily lose interest because results aren't coming in fast enough. I spend 10 minutes in the kitchen looking for something to snack on that isn't leftover from a Christmas gift basket. Planter's Peanut Mix! Delicious!
5:03 pm More results, finally! I forgot about Huckabee, he's still in this? I am convinced that McCain will be the GOP front runner. Thank God, he's the only Republican I can stomach. Speaking of stomach, I am still hungry.
5:05 pm My boss calls my name: "Honey!" That means I have to do work. We start rolling out some phone calls. No one answers. Maybe everyone is watching election results? If only we had a TV in the office! Wait, we do! In the conference room... Alas, I am not permitted to leave my desk for such a frivolous cause and must continue to act as a dutiful assistant.
5:45 pm I engage in a heated argument with co-workers about Hillary vs. Barack. Tensions arise between me and the assistant who sits next to me. I am a stubborn little bitch which she's about to find out.
6:04 pm Hillary has picked up momentum. I'm getting nervous. An assistant from down the hall walks over, sees my glum look and asks with concern if I am okay. I respond, "No. Barack isn't winning as many states as I had hoped." He laughs at me and points out the last time two times I've been upset it's been about either the Patriots or Barack. I realize it is becoming more apparent that I have little to no interest in my job at the moment and feign excitement at an article about Vanity Fair canceling it's Oscar party. Oh those poor celebs!
6:53 pm My boss is in a frantic state. It has nothing to do with the election. All I can do is stare at CNN online and wonder why Barack isn't winning in a landslide. I want to scream, HILLARY HAS A MULLET! I restrain myself and hope I can leave soon.
7:11 pm Yes! I leave work, and get to my car in time to hear some commentary and speeches.
7:33 pm I call my dad and demand he tell me who he voted for. He reminds me that he, too, is registered in Maine and therefore didn't vote. But my step-mom voted for Obama. YES! He has good taste after all!
7:36 pm Hillary makes me uncomfortable when she gives a speech. I don't like when her voice raises a few octaves and becomes more shrill. I am nervous she is going to have a sore throat. I recommend Ricola. They are manufactured in Switzerland.
7:45 pm I walk through the door of my apartment to find Roommate #1 on the sofa with CNN blaring. I drop everything, throw on my after-work uniform (sweats and big tee) and join her in front of the television.
8:00 pm John McCain is talking. His jowls are funny looking. Wait a minute--is that his wife? GOOD GOD WOMAN! Roommate #1 wonders if she is a transvestite. With a hairdo like that, I think it's a possibility.
8:03 pm Polls have closed in California. I am overwhelmingly tense. I am also hungry. Soup it is. Chicken rice or chicken noodle? I can't decide! It's too close to call! How will I choose?
8:05 pm Chicken noodle.
8:15 pm Roommate #2 walks in. She is chipper and happy but I am too tense and intent at staring at Wolf Blitzer's beautiful silver hair and beard to say hello. I ask her if she voted and she says no. NO! BLASPHEMY! She couldn't decide whether to vote for Hillary or Barack. I make it my mission to make her feel guilty about this and then convince her why Barack is the guy for the job.
8:30 pm We watch the "Yes, We Can" video on full screen and blaring the volume. This is so effective, Roommate #2 begins to cry in inspiration and love for Obama. I have succeeded.
8:39 pm Barack is talking. He is inspirational, awe-inspiring. He's the black JFK! I am feeling the power! YES, WE CAN! SI, SE PUEDE! Barack even teaches me Spanish!
8:58 pm Time for dessert! Mmm chocolate bunt cake from Trader Joe's, leftover from the Superbowl party. Looks good. I proceed to eat said bunt cake, knowing full well it will probably make me feel nauseous in a few minutes.
9:16 pm I resist the urge to vomit the now digested bunt cake.
9:23 pm I take a moment to check my "connections" on Match.com. I become angry when a 31 year old from Costa Mesa has sent me a "wink." Does it not clearly state in my profile that I am not interested in meeting anyone who doesn't live on the West side or who is over the age of 30? Idiots!
9:43 pm California for Hillary? Wait a minute, I thought that all the celebrities were voting for Barack and aren't all the celebrities in Los Angeles? I am beginning to think there are flaws to my reasoning. I cannot reveal this to unsuspecting roommates. #2 still appears to be convinced by my arguments against Hillary (mullet alert!) and for Obama (you can't beat that oratory style!).
10:03 pm I've lost interest and I am getting tired. Wolf Blitzer is starting to bother me. With a name like that shouldn't he be in porn? Now it's Larry King. Definitely changing the channel. Hmm... what's on my DVR... ooh last week's Nip/Tuck. I hear they torture a CAA agent, yes!
11:08 pm I retire to my bedroom. (I "retire" as though I were in a period piece, apparently.) A quick final check online and I see that McCain is definitely the front runner and Dems are split between Clinton and Obama. I wonder if we wont have a democratic front runner until the convention. OMG this is just like an episode of The West Wing! I feel so involved.
11:35 pm Lights out. I'm exhausted. Maintaining an inner monologue is hard work.
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
Conan vs. Stewart vs. Colbert
Okay, here's another video I stole from EW's Popwatch (I'm such a poacher!) but I had to post it here because I haven't laughed out loud watching a clip like this one in a long time. Considering Conan O'Brien, Jon Stewart, and Stephen Colbert have been functioning since the new year without writers, they've certainly found some fun ways to keep themselves, and their viewers, highly entertained. It's a must-see!
The EW post, which gives a little more background, is here.
The EW post, which gives a little more background, is here.
Super Tuesday
I just found this headline on CNN.com: "Texas Confused About Super Tuesday." That is wonderful. Thank you Texas for your simplicity and thank you CNN for your brilliant sleuthing skills to find articles like this one.
This brings me to a more important note--I hope that if you live in one of the 24 states that has a primary today, you vote! Being a registered Maine voter, I sadly do not get to vote in a primary today. So those that can--make sure you do!
And to give a little shout out to my favorite candidate Barack Obama, watch this fantastic video featuring a slew of celebs and a great tune, and the legendary man himself.
This brings me to a more important note--I hope that if you live in one of the 24 states that has a primary today, you vote! Being a registered Maine voter, I sadly do not get to vote in a primary today. So those that can--make sure you do!
And to give a little shout out to my favorite candidate Barack Obama, watch this fantastic video featuring a slew of celebs and a great tune, and the legendary man himself.
Are we allowed to be here?
A few weeks ago I was surfing the interwebs at work, as I often do, and was checking in at my favorite informative writer's strike site United Hollywood, when I came upon this little bit:
I told a friend about it and we were a little surprised that it hadn't been written up anywhere else, but thought it was worth a shot to get some tickets. I was expecting this to be very difficult, but nope--a standard ticket buying operation and we were good to go.
Now I need to preface all this by saying I am a HUGE fan of The Office. After my jaw surgery I watched both the BBC version and all of the American version, in order, and pretty frequently (it was difficult to laugh at the time because, oh yeah--my jaw was wired shut, but it was probably the best distraction from the pain besides the codene). The other show I watched a lot of was Grey's Anatomy. Because I think Meredith is a whiny little bitch, Addison, played by Kate Walsh, was easily my favorite female character. As Kate Walsh has become increasingly present in the regular celebrity press, I've decided that she is just fantastic, so it's safe to say I'm a big fan. So essentially, the opportunity to see some of my favorite cast members from two of my top favorite television shows seemed just too good to be true.
Well, last night we arrived at the iO West theater, not really sure what was in store. The venue itself was interesting; you walk into a small space that was essentially a bar that also doubles as the lobby. People are standing around chatting, getting drinks--it could have been just any night at any place. Then I look closer. Oh there's Kate Flannery (Meredith) and she just hugged Angela Kinsey (Angela). Wait a minute, that's Oscar! He's talking to Ed Helms (Andy)! And that's the blonde dude from Reno 911. Where's his mustache? Oh and look it's David Schwimmer! Oh wait, nope, just some dude who looks like him. And wow that bartender is hot. And who is this incredibly well dressed tall chick walking by me now? Holy Crap! It's Kate Walsh!
Okay so I've seen a handful of female celebrities between New York and LA--Julia Roberts, Claire Danes, Julianne Moore, Paris Hilton--and they are usually beautiful, it's true. Kate Walsh was no exception. It once again reminded me that celebrities are stars for good reasons. Perfect skin, perfect hair, perfect demeanor--the works.
It was completely bizarre to be standing in this room surrounded by all this brilliant talent, with everyone sort of chilling, drinking, talking, waiting for the show before to end. My friend and I sort of had a moment where we stared at each other in a mutual understanding. Were we allowed to be there? I mean, we are standing 5 feet from Kate Walsh (wearing a giant Barack Obama '08 pin on her kick-ass leather jacket, by the way) and any minute we're expecting someone is going to come in, tap us on the shoulder and quietly remove us from the premises, because clearly we don't belong.
But that's the thing about LA--you can go to a venue like this, sort of hob knob with the hoi polloi and the celebs--then watch some fantastic improv comedy. Speaking of--the show was a riot! I mean, of course Robert Ben Garant is hilarious, he kills it on Reno 911, but who knew Kate Walsh had such stellar comedy chops? Robert Ben Garant's monologues were a little funnier, or at least paced better, and he covered topics such as trading DVDs of movies he starred in for store credit and his Uncle Steve giving him and some buddies a trash bag of Marijuana for a trip to Mexico. Kate Walsh talked about a leaky roof in her dream house, and she told a hilarious anecdote about passing out at her wedding due to a heatwave and dehydration, as well as a pretty morbid story about her dad's cremation. And Kate, unlike Robert, also participated in the regular improv skits that followed each monologue, with the rest of the troupe. These were pure brilliance. Actors who really stood out were Angela and Ed Helms, who was probably the funniest on stage. He even did a little bit where he was singing and all I could think about was my favorite scene in The Office where he and Jim are in the car and Andy won't stop doing a capella. I loved him on The Daily Show, then Andy was one of my favorite added Office characters, and now it's safe to say that Ed Helms now has a special place in my heart as one of my favorite comic actors.
I think the most impressive thing was that the entire two and a half-hour show was 100% improvised. That is NOT easy. It takes a lot of talent to be able to do something like that, and it was pretty fantastic to see these well-known television stars having a whole lot of fun doing a whole lot of silliness. There were bits about an invincible fetus, getting lady raped, Hitler, the McDonald's drive through, a kid hitman, and hitting on people in Walmart. Knee-slapping stuff.
After the performance was over, everyone filed back into the lobby/bar area, and once again, my friend and I were pretty appalled that people were still just sort of mulling about and chatting--performers included. There was a moment where I walked out of the ladies room and pretty much smacked straight into Kate Walsh. I was tempted to ask her what it was like kissing Patrick Dempsey or if she missed her Grey's costars or if Katherine Heigl's teeth were as busted in person as they were on screen. Thanks to better judgment, I kept my mouth shut and moved on. I have to say, I definitely still haven't gotten over seeing celebrities in real life and up close. Yes, they are people too, but there is just something startling about it.
As we were both exhausted, my friend and I decided to pull ourselves away from the complete surreality of the evening (and all the actors who were still there hanging out) and walk back to my car, parked at nearby restaurant Wang's (a fine establishment, judging by the motley, pot-smelling crew in the parking lot). A quick trip to my friend's car, parked at In-n-Out, our pre-show dinner location of choice, and around midnight I was home, in bed, and on my way to dreaming about more nights like this one--nights that confirm some of the many reasons I moved to LA. In-n-Out included.
Kate Walsh and Ed Helms
iO WEST ARMANDO NIGHT WITH KATE WALSH AND MORE: Kate Walsh (Private Practice, Gray's Anatomy) and Reno 911 creator and star Robert Ben Garant will host the 3-act, 2 ½ hour improv extravaganza. Garant (along with partner Thomas Lennon) is a top screenwriter, having written the hits The Pacifier, Herbie:Fully Loaded, Balls of Fury, Night at the Museum, and the upcoming Night at the Museum 2. The Office's Angela Kinsey, Kate Flannery, and Ed Helms as well as MADtv's Mo Collins will be joining the cast of regular "Armando" performers including Tim Meadows (Walk Hard, SNL) for this incredible night with more special celebrity performers to be announced in the upcoming days. All proceeds go to the WGA Industry Support Fund. Tickets for this special show are $25. The show starts at 9pm. iO West is located at 6366 Hollywood Blvd. For tickets call 323-962-7560. Check out the website at iowest.com.
I told a friend about it and we were a little surprised that it hadn't been written up anywhere else, but thought it was worth a shot to get some tickets. I was expecting this to be very difficult, but nope--a standard ticket buying operation and we were good to go.
Now I need to preface all this by saying I am a HUGE fan of The Office. After my jaw surgery I watched both the BBC version and all of the American version, in order, and pretty frequently (it was difficult to laugh at the time because, oh yeah--my jaw was wired shut, but it was probably the best distraction from the pain besides the codene). The other show I watched a lot of was Grey's Anatomy. Because I think Meredith is a whiny little bitch, Addison, played by Kate Walsh, was easily my favorite female character. As Kate Walsh has become increasingly present in the regular celebrity press, I've decided that she is just fantastic, so it's safe to say I'm a big fan. So essentially, the opportunity to see some of my favorite cast members from two of my top favorite television shows seemed just too good to be true.
Well, last night we arrived at the iO West theater, not really sure what was in store. The venue itself was interesting; you walk into a small space that was essentially a bar that also doubles as the lobby. People are standing around chatting, getting drinks--it could have been just any night at any place. Then I look closer. Oh there's Kate Flannery (Meredith) and she just hugged Angela Kinsey (Angela). Wait a minute, that's Oscar! He's talking to Ed Helms (Andy)! And that's the blonde dude from Reno 911. Where's his mustache? Oh and look it's David Schwimmer! Oh wait, nope, just some dude who looks like him. And wow that bartender is hot. And who is this incredibly well dressed tall chick walking by me now? Holy Crap! It's Kate Walsh!
Okay so I've seen a handful of female celebrities between New York and LA--Julia Roberts, Claire Danes, Julianne Moore, Paris Hilton--and they are usually beautiful, it's true. Kate Walsh was no exception. It once again reminded me that celebrities are stars for good reasons. Perfect skin, perfect hair, perfect demeanor--the works.
It was completely bizarre to be standing in this room surrounded by all this brilliant talent, with everyone sort of chilling, drinking, talking, waiting for the show before to end. My friend and I sort of had a moment where we stared at each other in a mutual understanding. Were we allowed to be there? I mean, we are standing 5 feet from Kate Walsh (wearing a giant Barack Obama '08 pin on her kick-ass leather jacket, by the way) and any minute we're expecting someone is going to come in, tap us on the shoulder and quietly remove us from the premises, because clearly we don't belong.
But that's the thing about LA--you can go to a venue like this, sort of hob knob with the hoi polloi and the celebs--then watch some fantastic improv comedy. Speaking of--the show was a riot! I mean, of course Robert Ben Garant is hilarious, he kills it on Reno 911, but who knew Kate Walsh had such stellar comedy chops? Robert Ben Garant's monologues were a little funnier, or at least paced better, and he covered topics such as trading DVDs of movies he starred in for store credit and his Uncle Steve giving him and some buddies a trash bag of Marijuana for a trip to Mexico. Kate Walsh talked about a leaky roof in her dream house, and she told a hilarious anecdote about passing out at her wedding due to a heatwave and dehydration, as well as a pretty morbid story about her dad's cremation. And Kate, unlike Robert, also participated in the regular improv skits that followed each monologue, with the rest of the troupe. These were pure brilliance. Actors who really stood out were Angela and Ed Helms, who was probably the funniest on stage. He even did a little bit where he was singing and all I could think about was my favorite scene in The Office where he and Jim are in the car and Andy won't stop doing a capella. I loved him on The Daily Show, then Andy was one of my favorite added Office characters, and now it's safe to say that Ed Helms now has a special place in my heart as one of my favorite comic actors.
I think the most impressive thing was that the entire two and a half-hour show was 100% improvised. That is NOT easy. It takes a lot of talent to be able to do something like that, and it was pretty fantastic to see these well-known television stars having a whole lot of fun doing a whole lot of silliness. There were bits about an invincible fetus, getting lady raped, Hitler, the McDonald's drive through, a kid hitman, and hitting on people in Walmart. Knee-slapping stuff.
After the performance was over, everyone filed back into the lobby/bar area, and once again, my friend and I were pretty appalled that people were still just sort of mulling about and chatting--performers included. There was a moment where I walked out of the ladies room and pretty much smacked straight into Kate Walsh. I was tempted to ask her what it was like kissing Patrick Dempsey or if she missed her Grey's costars or if Katherine Heigl's teeth were as busted in person as they were on screen. Thanks to better judgment, I kept my mouth shut and moved on. I have to say, I definitely still haven't gotten over seeing celebrities in real life and up close. Yes, they are people too, but there is just something startling about it.
As we were both exhausted, my friend and I decided to pull ourselves away from the complete surreality of the evening (and all the actors who were still there hanging out) and walk back to my car, parked at nearby restaurant Wang's (a fine establishment, judging by the motley, pot-smelling crew in the parking lot). A quick trip to my friend's car, parked at In-n-Out, our pre-show dinner location of choice, and around midnight I was home, in bed, and on my way to dreaming about more nights like this one--nights that confirm some of the many reasons I moved to LA. In-n-Out included.
Kate Walsh and Ed Helms
There Will Be Milkshakes
Everyone should go see There Will Be Blood. It's fantastic. Daniel Day Lewis is phenomenal. Just something about the way he says "Ladies and gentleman, I am an oilman" gets me going every time. So much so that I find an urge to just scream out the line in my best copy-cat intonation (although I try to avoid doing it in the workplace). Even better is the whole milkshake line, especially when viewed like this:
Monday, February 04, 2008
Annoyances
Happy Monday. I am not feeling my chipper self right now, so instead I would like to bitch about a few things.
1. What is wrong with Los Angeles drivers? Seriously. They are all terrible drivers and the majority of people have some intense road rage. Yesterday morning in the parking lot of the grocery store I have never experience so much hate and horn-honking in my life. I thought people in Southern California were supposed to be laid back? What gives?
2. Heidi Montag makes me want to vomit. I refuse to post her just-released music video here, but if you click on almost any one of my links, I am sure you will find it. The video, which was filmed by her "fiancee" and "manager" (quotes are necessary because the dude is a joke and their relationship is completely artificial) is hilarious, if only for the fact that it looks like she is awkwardly swatting at flying insects while she sings, and it is the most low-budget, terribly filmed music video I've seen in a long while. Her erratic hand motions are cringe-worthy, but can't distract the viewer from her fake boobs or the fact that the vocals are clearly computer generated. Heidi Montag makes me feel embarrassed to be an American. Thanks for that one, Heidi.
3. I really don't want to hear reporters on NPR talking about sports. If I want to hear a re-cap, I will listen to sports radio, or watch ESPN, or look online. That way I can avoid the following announcements: "Sports miracles really do happen! Last night, in one of the biggest upsets in Superbowl history, the New York Giants defeated the New England Patriots. Also over the weekend, Joe Schmo scored his first ever hole-in-one while golfing in his hometown of Anywhere, Florida. Joe is 92 years old. And, he's blind!" That's nice NPR, but I listen to you for two reasons: Morning Edition and Car Talk.
4. Why are so many celebrities pregnant? I am really sick of being on Brangelina "bump" watch or having to hear another story about how Jessica Alba was pleasantly surprised that her loser-boyfriend, excuse me--fiance--impregnated her, or how Matthew McConaughey's girlfriend's bun in the oven is just such a gift. Ugh. Can't some of you people practice safe sex? Or pay a little incognito visit to a Planned Parenthood? According to every weekly tabloid, having a baby is trendy. Seriously? Procreating is trendy? That's ridiculous. I wonder if celebrities' publicists say to them, "Hey Actress, your photos aren't popping up in People Mag like they use to, how about you find some schlep on the street and get knocked up?" I absolutely love kids and babies and think it is so great when a family grows but I am just sick of the way babies have become a part of the standard celebrity entourage. It's exhausting.
1. What is wrong with Los Angeles drivers? Seriously. They are all terrible drivers and the majority of people have some intense road rage. Yesterday morning in the parking lot of the grocery store I have never experience so much hate and horn-honking in my life. I thought people in Southern California were supposed to be laid back? What gives?
2. Heidi Montag makes me want to vomit. I refuse to post her just-released music video here, but if you click on almost any one of my links, I am sure you will find it. The video, which was filmed by her "fiancee" and "manager" (quotes are necessary because the dude is a joke and their relationship is completely artificial) is hilarious, if only for the fact that it looks like she is awkwardly swatting at flying insects while she sings, and it is the most low-budget, terribly filmed music video I've seen in a long while. Her erratic hand motions are cringe-worthy, but can't distract the viewer from her fake boobs or the fact that the vocals are clearly computer generated. Heidi Montag makes me feel embarrassed to be an American. Thanks for that one, Heidi.
3. I really don't want to hear reporters on NPR talking about sports. If I want to hear a re-cap, I will listen to sports radio, or watch ESPN, or look online. That way I can avoid the following announcements: "Sports miracles really do happen! Last night, in one of the biggest upsets in Superbowl history, the New York Giants defeated the New England Patriots. Also over the weekend, Joe Schmo scored his first ever hole-in-one while golfing in his hometown of Anywhere, Florida. Joe is 92 years old. And, he's blind!" That's nice NPR, but I listen to you for two reasons: Morning Edition and Car Talk.
4. Why are so many celebrities pregnant? I am really sick of being on Brangelina "bump" watch or having to hear another story about how Jessica Alba was pleasantly surprised that her loser-boyfriend, excuse me--fiance--impregnated her, or how Matthew McConaughey's girlfriend's bun in the oven is just such a gift. Ugh. Can't some of you people practice safe sex? Or pay a little incognito visit to a Planned Parenthood? According to every weekly tabloid, having a baby is trendy. Seriously? Procreating is trendy? That's ridiculous. I wonder if celebrities' publicists say to them, "Hey Actress, your photos aren't popping up in People Mag like they use to, how about you find some schlep on the street and get knocked up?" I absolutely love kids and babies and think it is so great when a family grows but I am just sick of the way babies have become a part of the standard celebrity entourage. It's exhausting.
I'm sailing down the river...
... and the river is called DENIAL. I refuse to accept the Patriots' loss in the Superbowl last night. I am very upset. I have the urge to curl up in a fetal position under my desk (this is also due to lack of sleep and a slight hangover). I have little capability to create a clever and witty Monday morning post. Henceforth, I shall pretend last night's game didn't happen (which also means I didn't drink 3 mimosas and 7 beers, or eat a gluttonous amount of highly processed food in my sweatpants all day.)
That is all. For now.
That is all. For now.
Friday, February 01, 2008
It's a blog-off
So one of my punk-ass derelict friends has decided, for lack of anything better to do, to engage in a "blog-off" with yours truly. I am reluctant to support this, but if you have any interest in reading some highly offensive, non PC, and completely obtuse ramblings... feel free. He's an ass. Likes movies about "water horses." Lives with his mom. You get the point.
Decentcuts
I was just flipping through the Life section of USA Today (worst newspaper ever, but free from the building owners where I work, so why not?), and saw a huge add for Supercuts. This reminded me of the time I went to Supercuts. Yes, I have gotten a haircut at Supercuts. When home in Maine, I like to go to Acapello, which is an upgrade from Supercuts, but not by much. In fact Acapello is probably the pinnacle of my recent hair salon history. I have also been to several different Jean-Louis Davids throughout New York City, though I think the one on Lexington and 60th is the best (probably because of its proximity to Bloomingdales). Once in Vermont I went to some godforsaken hole-in-the-wall on the bottom floor of the Burlington mall where they dyed my hair orange with white stripes. I even once went to my dad's Barber which we can file away as one of my Worst Ideas Ever (others include shaving my eyebrow to see how a razor works) because I walked out of that appointment looking like Victoria Beckham's bob gone bad. My hair was completely lopsided, and even one of my friends, one of the nicest ones I have who doesn't say a mean thing about anyone looked at my hair and said, "Oh, Annie, it is a little uneven!"
My affinity for cheap haircuts might come as a shock to some, but when I was in college and stopped paying outrageous amounts to have my hair perfectly highlighted every 6 to 8 weeks, I decided that I would never again spend unnecessary exorbitant amount of money again (or at least until I discovered designer blue jeans). And you know what? So far, it's worked out for me. The hair looks good, it's dye free, it's even (I think), and best of all--I don't have to spend a lot of money. I would say that Supercuts is a pretty decent place to get a quick trim.
Congratulations Supercuts, you've received my highly coveted endorsement!
My affinity for cheap haircuts might come as a shock to some, but when I was in college and stopped paying outrageous amounts to have my hair perfectly highlighted every 6 to 8 weeks, I decided that I would never again spend unnecessary exorbitant amount of money again (or at least until I discovered designer blue jeans). And you know what? So far, it's worked out for me. The hair looks good, it's dye free, it's even (I think), and best of all--I don't have to spend a lot of money. I would say that Supercuts is a pretty decent place to get a quick trim.
Congratulations Supercuts, you've received my highly coveted endorsement!
A Short Novel on Last Night
Okay, to follow up on my high-on-life Pollyanna post from last night (regarding that--what is the deal with the blogger site clocking posts in on Central Time?) I want to write a few words about a television program that everyone should be watching. Don't worry, the topics are related.
Friday Night Lights was a movie that came out in 2004, and was then adapted into a one hour drama television series for NBC in 2006. It's in the midst of it's second season right now, and although there isn't a huge fan base, it is one of the most critically acclaimed series on the air these days (another one you should be watching is Battlestar Galactica, but that would require a lot of convincing for those who merely reject a show that airs on the SciFi Network, so we'll save that argument for another day).
Anyway, thanks to my boss, who, as a member of the Academy of Movies and TV and this and that, received an invite to an event I was able to attend on his behalf. Last night, I went to "An Evening with Friday Night Lights" presented by the Television Academy. The event included a screening of a new episode followed by a Q&A with the cast and creators and then a reception afterwards. I have to say, that as a pure fan of the show, I was thrilled to be going. When we got there, my excitement was momentarily squandered by the bitchy woman working the list who forced my colleague and I to wait for our boss to arrive as he only had one plus-one (this was a lie, the boss never planned on coming in the first place, and it is fairly routine that agents and managers will send their assistants in their place, so why the giant chip on this lady's shoulder? Methinks she may have been an abused assistant in the not-so-recent past. Or she just hates life because she is very unattractive). Ultimately, she pitied our sad assistant faces and ushered us in just before the show started.
The episode that played was fantastic, as always, and even better, it's the one set to air tonight, so I felt all cool and stuff getting a little sneak peak. After the episode, the moderator came on stage. Now here is where I will further enlighten you to the full extent of my dorkiness. I knew the moderator. Not because he was an actor, or a politician, or a well-known public figure or anything like that. Nope, he was just a senior writer for Entertainment Weekly, my favorite magazine since I was 12 years old. He gave a little introduction and then called the actors and creators on stage. This was great.
Anyone who watches the show knows that Tim Riggins is the heart and soul of FNL and Taylor Kitsch, the actor who plays Riggs (#33! Wow--I'm clearly a high schooler at heart! I also love shopping at the mall and prank calling boys!) embodies a lot of his character's qualities in the flesh. And he is so incredibly attractive. And I'm in love.
The panel lasted around an hour and it was really fun to watch this very talented cast interact and discuss their work ethic, the storylines, the on-set environment, and their overall experience. Highlights were discovering Connie Britton's fantastic sense of humor, that Aimee Teagarden really acts like an over-excited teenager, and Taylor Kitsch is even better looking and more entertaining in real life (like I said, IN LOVE.)
When the panel wrapped up, and after we lingered around near the actors for a bit while waiting for some other friends (and I attempted to keep my cool around the hottest human being alive who I am IN LOVE with) we made our way to the reception area. On our way we passed this ferocious woman. I call her ferocious because of her sparkly eye shadow, heavily hair-sprayed 'do, and white knee-high boots. And because she was maybe five feet tall (with boots) and was just standing around with pursed lips and an odd posture that seemed as though she was trying to suggest to people, "talk to me, I could be famous." She was not famous. She was weird.
I was standing around talking to my friends when I saw someone I recognized. Turns out it was a guy I had graduated from Middlebury with, who I never actually knew while at Middlebury, but just happened to recognize. He was with another Midd alum, and the three of us a chatted for a bit, exchanged info, and marveled that even in a huge city like LA, you can still have a special small-world experience. It was precious. If only I could have told Taylor Kitsch I went to college with him and maybe did he want my cell phone number or just wanted to go get a marriage license at City Hall or the Vegas chapel of his choice. Again, IN LOVE.
On the way out the door I briefly introduced myself to Entertainment Weekly writer (apparently I am comfortable talking to writers but not to the hottest human being alive? Actually this is probably a very normal thing), and then my friend and I walked back to our cars laughing about the evening, stopping to gawk in fear/interest at a freakish Christmas store with life-size Santa models and huge ornaments and everything.
Driving home, I was reflecting on the day, and thinking about the whole experience of moving out to LA--or at least the experience I've had so far. It was then I had the strange out-of-body/I'm so happy moment I posted around midnight, and I just couldn't wipe the grin of my face.
About ten minutes later I remembered I had missed the season premiere of Lost and shook my fist at the gods for depriving me of the time to fit in all my favorite activities in one day. But then I thanked the gods for DVR.
Friday Night Lights was a movie that came out in 2004, and was then adapted into a one hour drama television series for NBC in 2006. It's in the midst of it's second season right now, and although there isn't a huge fan base, it is one of the most critically acclaimed series on the air these days (another one you should be watching is Battlestar Galactica, but that would require a lot of convincing for those who merely reject a show that airs on the SciFi Network, so we'll save that argument for another day).
Anyway, thanks to my boss, who, as a member of the Academy of Movies and TV and this and that, received an invite to an event I was able to attend on his behalf. Last night, I went to "An Evening with Friday Night Lights" presented by the Television Academy. The event included a screening of a new episode followed by a Q&A with the cast and creators and then a reception afterwards. I have to say, that as a pure fan of the show, I was thrilled to be going. When we got there, my excitement was momentarily squandered by the bitchy woman working the list who forced my colleague and I to wait for our boss to arrive as he only had one plus-one (this was a lie, the boss never planned on coming in the first place, and it is fairly routine that agents and managers will send their assistants in their place, so why the giant chip on this lady's shoulder? Methinks she may have been an abused assistant in the not-so-recent past. Or she just hates life because she is very unattractive). Ultimately, she pitied our sad assistant faces and ushered us in just before the show started.
The episode that played was fantastic, as always, and even better, it's the one set to air tonight, so I felt all cool and stuff getting a little sneak peak. After the episode, the moderator came on stage. Now here is where I will further enlighten you to the full extent of my dorkiness. I knew the moderator. Not because he was an actor, or a politician, or a well-known public figure or anything like that. Nope, he was just a senior writer for Entertainment Weekly, my favorite magazine since I was 12 years old. He gave a little introduction and then called the actors and creators on stage. This was great.
Anyone who watches the show knows that Tim Riggins is the heart and soul of FNL and Taylor Kitsch, the actor who plays Riggs (#33! Wow--I'm clearly a high schooler at heart! I also love shopping at the mall and prank calling boys!) embodies a lot of his character's qualities in the flesh. And he is so incredibly attractive. And I'm in love.
The panel lasted around an hour and it was really fun to watch this very talented cast interact and discuss their work ethic, the storylines, the on-set environment, and their overall experience. Highlights were discovering Connie Britton's fantastic sense of humor, that Aimee Teagarden really acts like an over-excited teenager, and Taylor Kitsch is even better looking and more entertaining in real life (like I said, IN LOVE.)
When the panel wrapped up, and after we lingered around near the actors for a bit while waiting for some other friends (and I attempted to keep my cool around the hottest human being alive who I am IN LOVE with) we made our way to the reception area. On our way we passed this ferocious woman. I call her ferocious because of her sparkly eye shadow, heavily hair-sprayed 'do, and white knee-high boots. And because she was maybe five feet tall (with boots) and was just standing around with pursed lips and an odd posture that seemed as though she was trying to suggest to people, "talk to me, I could be famous." She was not famous. She was weird.
I was standing around talking to my friends when I saw someone I recognized. Turns out it was a guy I had graduated from Middlebury with, who I never actually knew while at Middlebury, but just happened to recognize. He was with another Midd alum, and the three of us a chatted for a bit, exchanged info, and marveled that even in a huge city like LA, you can still have a special small-world experience. It was precious. If only I could have told Taylor Kitsch I went to college with him and maybe did he want my cell phone number or just wanted to go get a marriage license at City Hall or the Vegas chapel of his choice. Again, IN LOVE.
On the way out the door I briefly introduced myself to Entertainment Weekly writer (apparently I am comfortable talking to writers but not to the hottest human being alive? Actually this is probably a very normal thing), and then my friend and I walked back to our cars laughing about the evening, stopping to gawk in fear/interest at a freakish Christmas store with life-size Santa models and huge ornaments and everything.
Driving home, I was reflecting on the day, and thinking about the whole experience of moving out to LA--or at least the experience I've had so far. It was then I had the strange out-of-body/I'm so happy moment I posted around midnight, and I just couldn't wipe the grin of my face.
About ten minutes later I remembered I had missed the season premiere of Lost and shook my fist at the gods for depriving me of the time to fit in all my favorite activities in one day. But then I thanked the gods for DVR.
Sarah Silverman is F*cking Matt Damon!
I am not always a huge fan of Sarah Silverman, but this video is fantastic. Please note, it was put together for her boyfriend Jimmy Kimmel's birthday celebration. That's quite a relationship.
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