A Recommendation

For all you college basketball fans out there (not sure my blog has a whole lot of crossover in the sports department--I am sure I alienate various LA and New York fans with my completely biased Boston love anyway), I have to pimp out my friends' blog, Searching For Billy Edelin. It's also a great example of a really well done blog (makes me wonder if I should switch to using Wordpress...) and it's pretty snazzy looking.

Planes, Trains and Automobiles (Well, just trains actually)

This very moment I am blogging LIVE from the Downeastern Rail. Yes folks, I am on the train to Boston. FROM PORTLAND!

Now for all you non-Mainers reading, this might not sound like anything of interest, but for those of us locals, we know that not only is the train to Boston a recent amenity, but a less frequently used one. So why my sudden change from the beloved bus to the train?

Snow.

Yes, friends, as I had hoped for, it's snowing (of course the weather gods finally listen to me the day I leave. THANKS A LOT). Snow means delays in bus times and significant increases in traffic. And I've got some SERIOUS NEW YEARS EVE PLANS to get to in the great city, resident home of my beloved Celtics, Red Sox, and just about all my closest friends from growing up in Maine. The Bean.

I wish I could take credit for this clever, weather-dodging idea, but alas, it was while I was standing in line for a bus ticket that some chill dude chatted up my brother and recommend I hop on the train--for just $3 more I could be in Boston with no weather delays--best part (for me), WIFI! Hook, line, and sinker.

I absolutely love travelling by train. It's one of the number one things I miss about Europe. When I lived in Switzerland it was how I traveled to and from school everyday, taking a 13 minute train from Nyon into Geneva and back. An entertaining moment would be regular announcements for the various stops, all of which were in three languages (because those Swiss are pretty much 900x smarter than everyone else) and every day upon approaching the city I would hear,

"Prochain arrêt, Genève
Nächster Halt, Genf.
Next stop, Geneva."

I wish I could do all the accents for each language announcement--the German one is hilarious because of how Genf was said, and the English was spoken with a flighty British accent.

When I was living in Paris, I stayed a month after I was done with school and traveled around with a Eurail pass for 5 weeks, mostly by myself, backpacking in France, Switzerland, and Italy. Man I would kill to go back to those easy days again. Traveling solo is the most liberating experience--especially when you have no rigid agenda, and only an interest to see the world. I used to spend hours on train rides writing--it's truly the most productive passive travel, I think, and a great way to see a beautiful landscape.

Speaking of seeing, it looks beautiful outside with this snow. Maybe I'll get lost in a daydream and stare at the window for a while.

Happy New Year!

Happy New Years, FROM THE FUTURE

I woke up this morning and did my usual routine of checking all my blogs/news magazines, and one of the top headlines on HuffPo was about the big New Year celebration in Sydney, a dramatic fireworks display included.



Yes, it' already 2009 in Australia! Happy New Year!

Time zones are mind boggling to me. I'm still just waking up and everyone in Australia is celebrating... or maybe they are already hungover... but they're in a different year altogether. It's wild!

sucks for you

This is positively wild:



Yes, you saw that correctly, and no this isn't a joke--due to an inability to come to agreement regarding fees or compensation or some sort of financial transaction, Time Warner Cable is no longer airing 19 Viacom channels--so for those of you thrilled to watch this season of The City, or the die hard South Park fans, the regular Comedy Central faux-news lovers, and even the closeted Sponge Bob Squarepants obsessives--say bye bye.

As for me? Remember? I have DirecTV. I'll be just fine. And roommates? Best decision we ever made...

If you're in the mood for a good cry...

I just saw Marley & Me. Holy shit did that movie make me cry. Seriously. By the end of it I thought I had put my own dog to sleep (spoiler alert: the dog gets old, and does what dogs do--die). Ugh.

It's funny because besides walking away thinking that despite the sadness (I mean I don't know if I have cried that hard since The Notebook... no, Up Close & Personal... no, TITANIC), I walked away from that movie feeling envious of John Grogan, and wistful for the pre-internet media days, when column writers were huge, could find an audience, and write a book. Nowadays, it's both a blessing and a curse that we have access to such varied and immediate forms of media and information sharing (aka the interwebs). For example, I really do enjoy writing every day, and have found this blog is the best way to keep me on track--it's my own personal, daily column, in a sense, but it's a shame that I am just now discovering my interest in this style of writing, especially when it's starting to become a bit passé, or at least as print media passes away all together.

Man I also walked away from that movie wanting a puppy. And maybe a baby. Shit I should play some video games for a while and I'll forget about these instincts for cuddly creatures...

The City Premiere: A Brief Study

In my recent video game addiction/obsession to Paper Mario, I failed to mention that yesterday I was very much anticipating the premiere of The City, which I can say, with certainty, has now supplanted The Hills as my favorite faux-reality show I love/hate. Yes, in one hour I turned off the television feeling perfectly satiated—Whitney Port’s New York Minute is going to be my guilty pleasure TV of 2009. Happy New Year!



My immediate love is, of course, no surprise at all—nor is the fact that faux-socialite Olivia Palermo is destined to be the next breakout villain star of this MTV collection—which is fabulous. Obvious villain or no, she is infinitely more likeable and interesting to watch than Speidi, particularly because she is so awkwardly snobby, and also because she is really NOT a socialite (Olivia, I had plenty of friends who were Debs, in fact my own mother was one—which I believe means I could have been—and they are all normal humble lovely ladies now, no reality show needed). Thanks to a delicious exposé in NY Mag last year, we know she'd be better categorized as a social climber. But for the sake of this faux-universe; who cares! She's divine.

Yes folks, The City delivered (and thankfully explained Ms. Port’s odd getup at The Hills finale last week—all DVF, flowery hippie headband included) and I am looking forward to spending the next few months living vicariously through Whitney Port as she wanders my short-lived NY stomping grounds (unlike LA, I see more restaurants and cityscapes I recognize already, probably because in NY, when living off my dad—does that make me a social, Olivia?—I was eating out a lot more, enjoy the fruits of others’ labor).

The two-episode premiere sure packed in a lot of drama (faux drama obv), in fact I think more happened in this episode than an entire season of The Hills, which isn’t saying much, but says something—The City is a refreshing spin-off. I’m tired of Lauren and Heidi’s incessant rivalry and rumor spreading, Audrina’s boring romance, and even the shenanigans of the once poorly coiffed/tanned She-Pratt, Stephanie. It’s all about Whitney, and NYC from here on out—and this fantastic downtown/uptown competition. It’s a battle between the preps of Gossip Girl and the faux-hipsters of my West Village neighborhood, and the best part is, they aren’t actually all that different from each other. They all have killer wardrobes, have jobs like buyer, publicist, editor, art gallery trainee, non-profit co-oordinator... and so forth (you get the point).

A premiere highlight was undoubtedly the dinner party, and the ridiculous assembly of Olivia’s friends, the best being her cousin, who uttered the ridiculous sentence “Even though my father is an art dealer I just have no interest in art, I am completely the opposite” as though it were perhaps the most novel idea he’d stumbled upon. Brilliant! These people lack self-awareness to the extreme, which makes interactions even better, especially watching poor Whitney, who genuinely seems to be herself on camera, attempt to navigate this new social dynamic. Sadly, I have a feeling our heroine will likely change immensely over her course of time in the city and on The City. Whether it’s for better or for worse, only time will tell. 12 episodes-worth, that is.

Why Paper Mario runied my life

For those dutiful readers who follow my daily musings, there's a good chance most of you are back at work this week. I am not. It's awesome.

Thing is, I had serious plans to do lots of writing and blogging over this lovely vacation, but, clearly, I have not.

Instead, all free downtime at home has been spent playing Paper Mario, which is my new favorite video game. Yes, it is an RPG (role playing game, duh), but because it's Mario, I like to think it's less geeky than if I were playing say, Legend of Zelda (coming up next, however).

And fortunately, the chances of me showing up to work dressed like Mario are slim to none: I don't own blue overalls, and sadly (?) I can't grow a mustache.

And if you are at a total lost for what I am talking about, here's a little preview of the game, so you can better understand the completely useless way I am using my time.



In other news, I am going to be 25 in LESS THAN A WEEK. Not cool.

And now, what you've ALL been waiting for!

So I bet you woke up yesterday morning and thought to yourself, I wonder if Annie got everything she asked for for Christmas (list refresher here). And let me tell you right now: I didn't.

But THAT, my friends, is OKAY. Of course it is! What would Christmas be without disappointment?

HOWEVER, let me tell you all about the exciting presents I did find under our tree this year.

(I should preface this by saying in my family it's a bit of an unconventional Christmas--my brother and I have our own traditions in the morning, then we spend the bulk of the day with family friends, and return home to find our dad and step-mom have dutifully played the role of Santa and our tree is once again replenished with gifts.)

This year Josh (my brother) and I decided that rather than spend money we don't have on gifts, let's be as frugal as possible. I gave him some scripts (because he is an ACTOR) and a $75 gift card to iTunes (that I obv didn't pay for--re-gifted company holiday bonus present, duh).

As for me?

As we ALL know (by we, I mean you, me and the handful of other readers of this here blog--a few of which have come out of the woodwork since I've been back in the hometown I might add) my tastes are not that different from that of a 12 year old boy, circa 1999. My big present from my brother was... a NINTENDO GAME CUBE! In fact, his Nintendo Game Cube, that he got for Christmas... circa 1999! YES. (Long time readers may recall I asked him for this like 6 months ago so it's about time he delivered.) Most exciting would be the games he included, and the only 4 I could possibly want:
The Mega Sonic Collection (I am SO going to re-beat Sonic 2),
MarioKart Double Dash (even better than the N64 version, I SWEAR),
Zelda (because I am SO Link--see previous post about LARPing outfit), and
Paper Mario which apparently is SWEET (direct quote from my SISTER--not really my sister but we call each other that OKAY--"i want to play paper mario sooooo bad. the possible combo of south park mediums and maaaaaaario make me quite giddy.")

ALSO, Josh gave me a comic book that has FANTASTIC FOUR AND IRON MAN which is AWESOME because I am starting to read more comic books (as opposed to only watching the movies--like I said, HUGE NERD).

When the parentalish units arrived, real presents came--such as tennis lessons (hurrah! It was on the list!), a gift certificate to LuLu Lemon (as was also asked for), and my most prized new possession--A BUTTER DISH (get excited, roommates!). There were other fun things, but I believe these are most worth noting. I did a handful of shopping in NYC prior to getting to Maine so I think all the new clothes are essentially Christmas presents as well (lotsa new shoes, Cowboy boots included).

It was a nice little Christmas this year--usually my brother and I get stressed out spending money we don't have on each other and this year it was awesome not to spend a dime. And the less presents you get the more you get to sleep in. WHICH IS AWESOME.

On a more serious note--it is SO nice to be home and to see all the friends and family I don't get to see during the rest of the year. I honestly love my community here in Maine and love running into so many people. The salt of the earth! And I love getting to where my BEAN BOOTS ALL THE TIME. BEAN BOOTS ARE AWESOME.

Well it's about 3pm here and I am still in my PJs. VACATION IS AWESOME!

LAX-->JFK-->PWM

Well, it’s been a week since my last post (embarrassingly Twilight related, although I can’t say I’m not surprised) and I may be on vacation but that doesn’t mean NO BLOGGING. I mean, imagine for a moment I was a successful writer with a blog read by hundreds of hundreds (maybe even thousands) of people (not just family and friends and friends of friends!) and then I would have some SERIOUS blog obligations.

Obviously, not my problem.

However, I feel like in the week since I’ve been back East there are a few things worth highlighting—and maybe I will resume my blogging regularity, much like the Huffington Post will resume issuing headlines of EXTREMEMLY DRAMATIC DOOM now that Christmas is over.

For starters, cold weather is AWESOME. I realize that many people might disagree with this opinion (that’s why it’s an opinion, DUH) but after being in LA for an extended period of time, the only cold we get there (which, yes, is cold) is nothing compared to the brisk temperatures of the Northeast—which I actually love. It felt so nice walking around New York City my first weekend back, all bundled up in the around-freezing temperatures.

Also worth noting: the cold weather does NOTHING to decrease my sweating, if anything it only exacerbates the problem. For example, on Monday I met two friends for lunch and was so bundled up that my quick walk to meet them resulted in excessive sweating (I’m sure the steamy Japanese restaurant contributed to the problem). This actually was a point of excitement for my friends, who were overjoyed to see my very hilarious discomfort by my sweaty forehead.

While New York is one of the best places to be to get a real taste of the holiday spirit, the crowds of people are miserable. I don’t do well in massively packed stores or anywhere with a line or anywhere with excessive amounts of uneducated tourists who ask dumb questions. For example:

While walking with my dad I was approached by a young lady who interrupted our conversation to ask,

“Do you know where I can find the U-G-G store?” She asked me.
“I’m sorry?” I replied (in confusion, befuddlement, and great annoyance).
“The U-G-G store?”
“Do you mean UGG?” I asked, sure she was referring to those ubiquitous boots, a pair of which I was wearing that very moment. For added emphasis I pointed to my own two feet, hopeful she could see the lovely logo which suggested it was one word and not three letters (spoken separately).
“No, U-G-G.”

Okay lady. SURE. Anyway, the conversation ended with me telling her she could probably find them at almost any shoe store in the city and we at last escaped having to discuss this very pertinent issue further. Wait what was the point of sharing this anecdote? Oh yeah, I find tourists annoying.

Another thing I noticed in New York, which was a very obvious contrast to LA, was that within my first 24 hours of being there it was obvious that New Yorkers are significantly more obsessed with talking about the economy than people in LA. Now certainly the lifestyle in these two cities has it’s vast differences and similarities, but I do feel there are different characteristics and sensibilities to each. In LA, it’s certainly a topic of conversation—I mean it’s unavoidable (see HuffPo headlines of doom), however in sunny Southern California, (or maybe it’s just in Hollywood) people are still talking about what they’ve also been—buying and selling scripts, the actors’ union, networking, new movies, and every person there who’s trying to live the dream. In New York, well, they’re obviously closer (geographically) to Wall Street but maybe the fact that it’s more of a well-rounded, diverse city (and I realize my view of the two is very biased, and one-sided, but this is my blog and my brief rant on people in NYC being obsessed with the economy so just keep your counterpoint arguments to yourself), but in this city it’s apparent every where that the RECESSION IS AT HAND. Stores are anywhere from 50-70% off, and almost any conversation I had with anyone alluded to the current financial crisis at some point. It was exhausting.

A nice reprieve from all this city living is Maine. Ah Maine, place of my birth, my upbringing, and my beloved Italian sandwich. True to its every slogan: Vacationland and The Way Life Should Be.


On a side note, if you're slow today (or slow in general) the post title alludes to airport codes. I have to be honest with you all, I didn't fly into JFK, I flew into Newark (but that doesn't look as pretty--I mean, Jersey? No offense Ditonto...). Oh and I took a bus from New York to Boston to Maine get home, but that doesn't look as pretty either.

Puppets: Not just creepy, also good for laughs

Amidst my haze of illness I bring you the most hilarious Twilight parody I've yet to see. Actually it might not necessarily be hilarious, per se, but it is amazingly accurate. The entire movie is summed up in three minutes.



I'm glad they were even able to fit in the teen angsty jams.

Apologies

I just realized I hadn't posted yet today. There's a reason for it--I'm sick. Yes, again. I've yet to approach the level of illness that ruined me last spring, but it ain't pretty.

Only two more days until vacation... Which means two days to get somewhat better otherwise the red eye of Friday is going to be MISERABLE.

That's all I got for now. Time for NyQuill and sleep.

I did it again...

I was about to walk out the door, and when I put on my jacket had a sudden revelation. Me and my strange outfit choices have STRUCK ONCE AGAIN.

Today's culprit:

Sperry Topsiders
Dark pink cordorouys
Blue Vineyard Vines belt (with fishies on it!)
White Polo
Gray Sweater
Bright yellow rain jacket

I could be dressed for:

a) America's Cup
b) foul weather
c) college
d) a 12 year old boy's birthday party

Mostly I just look like I am about to hop on a sailboat. Thing is, it's "jeans week" at work (pre-holiday celebration WOOHOO) or so I thought... turns out it's just the last two days before the holiday. My reasoning behind my super casual outfit was because my department can already wear jeans, and so I thought, GREAT I WILL JUST BE MY LOVELY CASUAL SELF which happens to translate to my favorite East Coast clothing (sailing attire). Last night I was wearing my duck boots around and contemplated them for today--probably less appropriate than boat shoes though.

I should probably just stick to wearing a lot of black/dressing like a New Yorker or something... these clothing identity crises are messing with my head. Well at least this nautical/prep school look is one-up from the LARP fiasco of last week...

Roommate Love

I have the best roommates in the world. I really do. Take last night for example. DiTonto decided to whip out her senior prom dress (which still fits her I should note--an impressive feat by anyone I know) which is bright red and sequined and a whole mountain of tulle and fancy. Annie happened to come home just as Ditonts was prancing around the apartment wearing it (and her fedora, I might add, that little hipster) after which Annie gave us our Christmas presents--tickets to see Elton John and Billy Joel together! Best part was the presentation--she played Bennie & the Jetts while she slyly gave us the good news (I at first thought she was maybe going to do an interpretative dance). Then Ditont busted out some hilarious notecards for us. And I... well, I... I was unprepared for this roomie love and my gift (which has yet to be ordered) was... not there. So it will have to wait for after the New Year. We then proceed to really embrace the Christmas spirit by watching The Ruins, an incredible bad/amazing movie about carnivorous vines and dumb tourists in Mexico. It was AWESOME.

The week before the holidays is TOUGH. I have moments feeling like I have a ton of work, and other moments where I am doing absolutely nothing. It's also the pre-holiday pre-travel rush of getting my act together. And it seems like there are a lot of birthdays this time of year, or at least for my friends (funny, what was going on 9 months previous...) so there's an abundance of celebrating to do.

You know it sucks being in your 20s and not making a whole lot of money, but it's truly a great time--living with friends, limited responsibilities, no homework... despite all the soup I am eating it is pretty great.

Facebook Ads are AWESOME

While Facebook stalking various acquaintances a moment ago, I noticed the most incredible ad on the right side of the page.

Now, keep in mind that Facebook ads are targeted and tailored to match up to a user's interests. So my favorite ad of the day? THE FISH PLACE! You see, at THE FISH PLACE you can get all of your aquarium needs.

That's right, one of my interests on my Facebook profile is AQUARIUMS.

YouTube Sensational

This makes me oh so happy.

The original:


The Family Guy reenactment:

Why Tuesday is my Monday

Ugh.

That is how I feel right now. Not well. Not well at all... Mondays are rough because I am already suffering a hangover (metaphorically speaking, usually) from what is always a jam-packed weekend. Well add an actual hangover to that and Monday is MISERABLE.

Exhibit A.
Earlier without realizing it I yawned in a way that was so desperate/pathetic that everyone sitting nearby just started laughing at me. Apparently I was also moaning in anguish.

Exhibit B.
Just a moment ago I was opening my Kombucha (it's a DELISH Chinese beverage that is good for you and stuff) and it exploded all over myself and my desk. Dude who sits next to me looked at me and said, "Just go home. Start over again tomorrow."

Ah if only it were that easy... thank goodness tomorrow is a fresh start though, and I will be looking and feeling quite the opposite of my blah existence today.

I don't even know how to address this...

(insert post title here)

Why does it always seem to be that by the end of the week I am significantly busier with work than at the beginning of the week? It makes for very hectic Fridays...

Light posting today most likely... Unless I hit a stride this afternoon and there are lots ofs wonderful things for me to waste time with.

Try this:

MARIO KART (REMI GAILLARD)
by nqtv

God bless you crazy French people.

Copyright Infringement?

WTF People. This dude Jarrett at the NY Post's POPWRAP has totally been reading my blog and ripping off my ideas. Evidence? Today's post in which he fondly pontificates on the beauty that was PBS and Square One, which you may recall I covered in this "nostalgia" post. SERIOUSLY WHY AREN'T I THE WRITER FOR THE NY POST'S CRAPPY POP CULTURE RAMBLINGS SECTION?

Of Dreaming & Flying & Lateness

I was having the most glorious dream this morning. I was at Disneyland, or a dream version of Disneyland (I’ve never been) which was a strange, hallucinogenic like setting of very large and impressive old timey rides on beautiful hillside, near a castle by the sea. (Disclaimer, no drugs were involved with the making of this post). I don’t remember being with any friends or acquaintances in my actual life, but I definitely was with other people—enjoying the rides... the magic of it all... I was on one ride in particular that was sort of a cross between a chairlift and some sort of log chute ride and remember that it shot me into the air and the next thing I knew I was flying and it was MARVELOUS. The colors! The sounds! The feeling of the cool breeze as I easily passed through the air... and then next up was another ride... it was roller skating for wheat field (again, no drugs involved) and next thing I knew I could push off from my roller skates and I was up, up, up, and AWAY! Flying above the field, soaring, dipping, waving to my friends who were below. It was the most exhilarating feeling, truly magical. I didn’t want it to end!

Apparently I REALLY didn’t want it to end, because at a certain point I definitely had a weird moment of my dream state meeting my conscious mind, and I was essentially telling myself: “Keep sleeping! This is AWESOME! Your alarm will wake you up!”

Well as my sleep self and awake self continued to have this inner dialogue, I began to rouse and figured, sure why not wake up before my 7 am alarm today anyway. I slowly opened my eyes, feeling truly fantastic and looked over to see how early it was (figuring that after waking up around 6 am every day I probably was so accustomed to that time it must have been around then) only to see the menacing red of my alarm clock’s numbers staring back at me:

9:22 am

SHITFUCKER! SHITTER! MONKEY! I exclaimed, and I catapulted myself from my bed to my computer and emailed my boss that I would be late. Fortunately, she replied almost instantly, joking that she was wondering if I was late because I was spending a lot of time planning my outfit (to make up for the hilarity of yesterday’s). In about 20 minutes I pulled myself together (with a great outift I might add), and I even got my crazy hair semi-tame—which let me tell you, is a REAL feat, because I wake up with a serious rat’s nest every morning. Sure I rolled into work a solid hour later that I am supposed to, but I was feeling great—very well-rested.

Oh yes, I forgot to mention that I went to bed at 10:30 pm last night... so I got roughly eleven hours of sleep. Yes, eleven.

Only downside to all of this is that I’ve felt off all day, like really all over the place and scatterbrained, as though I didn’t know which was up and which was down... similar to that incredible flying dream...

BLOG HELP!

UPDATE: Problem appears to be solved... for now.

NOTICE: I SEEM TO HAVE F-ED UP THE FONTS ON MY BLOG SOMEHOW AND CANNOT FIX IT. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUGGESTIONS PLEASE CONTACT ME. UNTIL THEN, PLEASE BEAR WITH ME WHILE I ATTEMPT TO FIX IT.

FIX IT!

DAMMIT. IT'S (ALMOST) ALL IN ARIAL. I HATE ARIAL.

Tweens are AWESOME

A recent email from Ashleigh:

i'm IMing with my THIRTEEN year old cousin who strangely sounds all too much like my TWENTY 3 and 4 year old roomies...

ditonto19 (4:52:33 PM): hahah you have rob pattinson as your icon...my roomies are OBSESSED with twilight
youngun xox (4:54:05 PM): omghhh, im obssessed too <3>
youngun xox (4:54:29 PM): lol, its pretty funny i read the book and so the moviee twicee
youngun xox (4:54:43 PM): andd now im workingg on the second book
ditonto19 (4:54:54 PM): yeeeeah, my one roomie has read the whole series and seen it 3 times, but she's 24
youngun xox (4:55:14 PM): lol, apparentlyy we think very alikeeee
youngun xox (4:55:27 PM): im def planning on readingg the whole series
youngun xox (4:56:46 PM): and this grl trashedd talked rob and i kinda screamedd at her
ditonto19 (4:56:55 PM): that's not ok...he's perfect
youngun xox (4:57:02 PM): ik <33333333333>

please note that apparently tweens like to use multiple letters to express enthusiasm ie - alikeeeee, and screamedd - in case you want to start employing to completely transform into your tween selves.

I Immediately Regret That Decision

Okay so because I go to the gym about 4 days a week before work, I have to plan outfits the night before. Sometimes this takes me no time, and I can pull something good together, although a lot of times once I am at the gym and I put on my chosen clothes I am not the happiest with the selection but make do.

Today... it's bad. REALLY BAD. So much so that I warned my boss as she was walking in, she subsequently was appalled, and attempted to help me fix it, then said someone was going to have to buy me shoes during lunch.

I look like I am an extra on The Lord of the Rings, and not in a good way (is there a good way?). It's as though I've dressed for a LARP conference after work. I may as well scream "HELP ME OBI WAN YOU'RE MY ONLY HOPE!" (but as opposed to when I normally throw out that quote, I might actually be taken seriously).

All this begs the question, WHAT WAS I THINKING last night when I absentmindedly asked DiTonto to borrow a pair of brown boots (that look like riding boots/combat boots) and then throw a pair of BRIGHT GREEN CORDUROYS in my bag along with some loosey goosey hippie type flouncy button white button down shirt. The only saving grace is (maybe) the bright blue pashmina I am wearing as a scarf around my neck but hardly... dear GOD how could things have gone so wrong since yesterday?

That's it... I might not have any money but I can't go the whole day looking like Robin Hood... I think the Century City Mall opens at 10 am and I will be first in line at the cheapest shoe store I can find...

Things I've Learned About Hollywood

Today's Lesson:
Higher Ups lack perspective.

Sweet Irony

Picture courtesy FAIL blog.

It really is a French kind of day...

Earlier today I was watching an interview of RPattz on some French TV station (what, you thought the Twilight love had already dissolved? Hah!) and then just a second ago I decided to forgo my usual background noise choice of a Pandora playlist (yesterday was Bach--I'm so cultured) or whatever's on my iPod to listen to the news... in French.

And then just a second ago, it came back to me... I was dreaming about France last night. I can't remember if I was dreaming in French (my guess is probably not because that would mean I'm fluent and I don't think I've been any degree of fluent since living in Switzerland) or if I was just in France or attempting to speak French or what... in any case... there was SOMETHING to do with France in my dream... so... I guess I miss it...?

Maybe it's this shitty economy that has me daydreaming about a fanciful flee to Europe, and I'm mentally preparing through language prep? Who knows. But man the French language is AWESOME.

Post du Jour

Bonjour mes petits choux. I am feeling tres French today, by which, bien sur, I mean, FRANGLAIS. (In other news, can anyone remind me of the shortcuts for inserting accents when using a PC? We of the Mac Family are PC-challenged). Do I look a little French? Peut-etre (or maybe, for you non-franglais speakers). Actually not really... I am essentially a walking J. Crew commercial, right from the headband atop my crown, to the argyle of my sweater to the courdoroy of my pants.



I really don't have enough argyle in my life.

Which reminds me I am très (that accent came from a copy & paste out of a word doc, in case you were wondering) excited to get to New York and Maine and to explore the contents of my closets in each. I have a feeling in New York I can find a pair of black Chuck Taylors (I have a pair of white ones here in Cali, because black is a bit harsh for the laid back vibes of the West Coast, n'est-ce pas?) and about 7 different cable knit sweaters of various neck styles and colors (my fave might be the navy turtleneck--oh it is simply divine!). Also waiting is my long puffy North Face jacket which is essentially a wearable sleeping bag. In Maine I recall leaving my duck boots, some Patagonia fleeces (my love for outwear is mutually inclusive when it comes to North Face and Patagonia) and a shit-ton of Dankso clogs, which you can really only wear in Maine. I also can't wait to explore what (if any) summer clothes I have that I can bring to LA. A certain LBD sticks out in memory (that's Little Black Dress, bien sur) which could be really useful for work and post-work events alike.

You know on second thought all this franglais and discussion of clothing direct from a prep schooler's closet circa 1982 is a little much au moment. I have to step out to the ladies room now, so I can admire my argyle for a moment. Excusez-moi.

SNL Brilliance

So I assume everyone has seen this by now but I just have to post this incredible SNL Digital Short because it is too damn funny.



By the way, the entire episode Saturday night was phenomenal, and I highly recommend watching...

Vampire Love, All Your Questions Answered

Thanks to the folks at Current TV, we have this hilarious explanation as to why every woman in America is currently in love with a vampire.

News Summary: APOCALYPSE IMMINENT

And in today's dramatic HuffPo headline:



Tomorrow's forecast? Stormy with a chance of JUDGEMENT DAY.

Stamos vs. Stamos

OMG YOU GUYS.

We have a tight competition for Stamos & Stamos today. And it all has to do with the following word. A word that makes me think of JESUS, THE CELTICS, and BRITISH MONARCHIES.

LEGACY.

Yes, today we're going to see how the two Stamos' face off in a race that is all about legacy.

First up, John Stamos (the dude):
'Full House' Remake? You got it dude.



Okay. I know what you are thinking. You are thinking how can Stamos (the chick... me) top that! I can't even get a mere 100 people to read my blog on a daily basis so how could my legacy even compete with his?

Let me just go right ahead and announce,

I win.

Yep. I do. Why? Well at this point it really boils down to the age thing. Sure I am turning 25 in less than a month, but that is 20 years younger than John Stamos, and I think it's safe to say we know what his legacy is: sick 80s hair, melodrama, and leather jackets (and a critically acclaimed stint in Cabaret on Broadway... I guess?). As for me? Well, that's where I win; we have NO IDEA where my future is going to take me but I have a feeling (or so this handwriting analysis lady once told me) that one of these days shit's gonna get real. I am about to blow this world wide open--my legacy is just going to dwarf that of John Stamos, bless him.

Editor's Note, Stamos vs. Stamos posts are in no way biased, despite Stamos (the chick) winning all previous entries. Nope, no predetermined wins here... none at all... it's all very objective... especially here... and here... and here...

And now for other news related to women and drinking

What perfect timing for this article from NY Mag, detailing how more women are drinking and they're drinking even more.

Weekend Recap

So I realize this lovely Monday has been lacking in my regular weekend recap. That’s probably because my brain is feeling a little fried at the moment and I am actually trying to be productive with real work today.

But, here are a few weekend highlights (for the ten people as interested in my own life as I am):

After a lovely Friday evening I woke up Saturday morning with a real feeling of glee. Like cheesy musical glee. So much so, that I decided to update my Facebook status and actually use Twitter (ugh I am becoming all that I mock) to tell the world I AM SO HAPPY.

My happiness was fleeting however, when I had to drive to Hollywood for my improv class. WHAT’S THAT? Yes, you heard me—I’m taking an improv classes. I know you’re totally (not) shocked, and what is perhaps most surprising is that is that this is the first blog mention of such a hilarious weekly event, and I don’t have a good explanation as to why I’ve neglected to mention it in the past... It’s fun though—essentially I joined because the last class I took was in the spring, a writing class at UCLA, so I was looking for something in a completely different vein, and I thought improv could help my comedic writing... (has it helped? HAS ANYONE NOTICED ANY IMPROVEMENT OVER THE LAST 7 WEEKS? No? Me neither). It’s turned out to be a fun release on Saturday mornings, and I’ve realized that Family Guy operates entirely on an improv format. Which is awesome. Whether or not I will stick with it is something I am undecided about at present. I’m actually thinking of switching gears again, and trying a different writing class—maybe something with screenwriting so I can make a movie, (also to be called Jaw Wired Shut?) or at least pretend to. The major downfall of the improv class would have to be the drive to and from Hollywood every Saturday morning, in which a three hour class becomes a five hour event.

What else... Saturday night turned into quite the bender, complete with a 4am bedtime. This resulted in a miserable Sunday, of course. Sunday was supposed to be a “Very Roomie Christmas” in which Hotel Triple A (get it? Annie, Annie & Ashleigh? We’re so presh) was going to spend the day listening to Christmas carols and bake pies and go ice skating and watch Christmas movies. Well... all three of us slept until around 1pm, woke up with raging hangovers, and spent the day on our sofas, while various friends cycled through the apartment to witness our sorry state at different points of pain (and to watch various movies, only one of them being Christmas-themed). I stayed in pajamas all day, only saw daylight for three hours (and out the window, might I add) and the highlight might have been when walking back to our apartment from a poorly thought-out trip to Pinkberry (dairy was a bad idea), Annie had to pause while walking, to bend over in pain, declaring that her body was fighting back. “Viva la revolucion!” she yelled (she was impersonating her organs, envisioning all of them rallied around the liver, who was probably on a stretcher or hooked up to an IV, and all the other internals were standing with signs and picketing her abuse—you know if our life was an episode of Family Guy, we probably would have seen that).

Monday morning training sessions are BRUTAL, and a terrible idea after a weekend of bad decision-making. And while the new trainer is AWESOME he loves to kick my ass and tries to tell me I need to stop drinking (to be honest, and I think my friends would agree, I don’t really drink a whole lot, certainly not for someone my age, I think I just get hungover a little easier, and when I do really drink it’s a complete disaster) and anyway who is going to NOT drink during the holidays? PUHLEEZE.

And yet another weekend has passed, another week begins, and soon (not soon enough) I’ll be on a plane to New York, which I really cannot wait for. I am looking forward to cold weather and a city that outshines any other with its Christmas spirit.

Until then I won’t be doing much of anything because we don’t get paid until Monday. You know what that means... soup all week.

Awkward

I just realized that I titled a post (two below) "An Brief Essay." Good work me, you've yet to learn how to us "a" and "an" properly at a mere soon-to-be-25-years-of-age.

Thank goodness this blog has editing capabilities. Sorry for all those who must suffer my occasional lapses in spelling/judgement/sanity/proofreading.

The City is the REAL Gossip Girl

Here's a NEWER preview for The City:

The City - MTV Shows

This show is going to be awesome for so many reasons.

First, I am sick of The Hills. I am, it's true. I am especially sick of having to watch Heidi and Spencer on that show, and Lauren's trust issues are borderline making me want to see a therapist. And Audrina? Stop getting your teeth whitened, please.

Secondly, Whitney was truly the best of the cast, and putting her in NYC, and at Diane von Furstenberg, and working with Olivia Palermo (a socialite working? Mais, non!)--I mean, that is genius right there.

Finally, it really is the real version of Gossip Girl--much like Laguna Beach was the real O.C. The Hills is not real in any capacity, and even though The City is the spinoff of a spinoff... I think it will be 900 times better. And it's on the same night as Bromance so as of December 29th my Monday nights are going to be occupied. YES.

No Fair!

YOU GUYS this is the puppy Martha Stewart just adopted.



NO FAIR I WANT IT.

I have the WORST ADD today

Seriously.

It's bad.

You don't want to send me an email because I almost always respond IMMEDIATELY. And then three more times with five different links you should check out. I cannot tell if this is post-holiday procrastination (again) or if I am just going insane. No, it's probably my friends who are going insane with my incessant hyperlinking and emailing and patronizing.

I need to run around outside or something to settle me down.

OR A SEDATIVE!

BLARG.

Reality TV gets REAL. Like MAINE real.

I should have known that spotting Frankie Delgado at The Grove last night was going to result in something.

Earlier this morning a friend sent me this email:

UMMMMM I am 99.9 percent sure that Alex Romanoff (former
Natural Helper) is on the new show Bromance.

He included a link to the preview for the new show Bromance (where Brody and Frankie try to fill the gaping hole that Spencer left when he crossed them and stayed with Heidi... or something... I don't even remember but it has something to do with The Hills, okay I'll embed the preview here)

MTV Shows

Lo and behold it turns out we DID go to high school with one of the contestants (who I immediately friended on Facebook, because I am shameless) and one of our other friends used to shamelessly crush on him (she truly invented the word cougar because I am pretty sure he was a freshman when we were seniors and OMG in high school that is like so totes not PC) and we were all sort of in shock wondering what on Earth is this kid doing on the show and how can he get me Brody's number? (What? Brody's hot! Come on!)

Well then, thanks to team sleuthing and Facebook wall-stalking, another friend's sister pointed us to Alex's profile on MTV.com, which says the following:

Alex hails from the backwoods of Maine and goes to college in New Hampshire. He may look totally tame, but don?t let the crew cut fool you. The self-proclaimed country boy, who has never been beyond Maryland, is an accomplished rock musician who tends to shed his clothes ... a lot. But that's not all; Alex also enjoys reading and writing poetry. Does this bad boy with a soft side have a chance at Bromance with Brody Jenner?

In response, my friend (she of the former crush and cougar tendencies) wrote:

"hails from the back woods of maine" seriously!? look buddy
you're not from aroostock. way to play it up.

Hahaha. (FYI, Aroostock is the largest county east of the Mississippi and yes it is really fucking backwoods). I would also like to ask how a crew cut could fool someone and express my worry at the line "tends to shed his clothes" because I will forever think of him as an awkward teener working on stage crew for the high school musicals. However, I will say I am most excited for whatever sort of publicity blitz this brings to our lovely hometown in Maine, and especially excited for the requisite Portland, ME bar outing this Christmas season, where he shall enjoy minor celebrity status and I might die of crappy reality TV heaven meeting all our humble beginnings in one sweaty bar called Gritty's. Oh this is going to be good.

A Brief Essay on My Pathetic State

Around 11 pm last night I was waiting for a friend in front of the movie theater (coughTwilightcough) and while I was standing around contemplating why I felt it necessary to wear a winter hat when it was probably around only 60 degrees I silently observed people coming in and out of the theater. I noticed a group of what looked like teens, to be particularly well-dressed, when lo and behold I realized it was Frankie from The Hills (you know, Brody's BFF) and one of the Kardashian sisters (I am thinking Khourtney?). Immediately after I made this observation I asked myself, what is the more pathetic fact in this situation?

(1) That I know the names of these D-list reality stars (and eccentric name spellings)
(2) That I am seeing Twilight AGAIN?

I think the answer would probably be... well it's a tie. Both point to levels of pathetic that are dangerously high. The solution? I need to get myself out of the Hollywood/LA bubble ASAP. Like I've said... it's a good thing I'm going back East for two weeks over Christmas. I think people in New York might actually be a little more sane...

ways in which I am similar to a robot

Sometimes I get very frustrated with people and these people are often those one might encounter in the workplace or classroom or the locker room of the gym or occasionally they are people you hated in high school and have never stopped hating. My reaction to such types interests me--I think I often have either two responses, both which lead me to think I am a little bit like a robot.

(1) I get angry and then challenge the annoying/mean/rude/crazy/intolerable person (challenge can be any form of contradicting said person; or pointing out their flaws, talking back, giving attitude; general flipping out) which then gets me into a lot of trouble. Some results of this behavior are either I get in trouble, a teacher is fired, I am fired, or the words I have spoken burn with the SWEET SMELL OF THE TRUTH and therefore my heavy attack, while inappropriate, is ultimately deemed by all to be profound words of wisdom that cannot be ignored. And then all bow down before me.

(2) I shut down. That is to say, I cease caring, and so as not to piss off anyone (or allow them to see my complete and utter lack of interest) I put on my best poker face, half tune them out (I need to have some sense of what's going on) and then daydream outfits I am going to wear tomorrow.

History would show that these are the two behavioral patterns I tend toward--blowing up or shutting down, which sounds a little bit like the behavioral pattern of a robot--you know, one that's not well-equipped to function in certain intolerable circumstances.

Slump Day

Ugh. I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. Of course what that means is I took my allergy medicine too close to my bedtime last night and woke up in a groggy haze of confusion. I attempted to tell my trainer this morning that my left was my right. He didn't buy it. He's a good trainer (PS it's a new one because that last dude was a jackass and this guy is a former football player who also loves Twilight and other YA books. I KNOW!)

I wish I could be like a bear and hibernate for the winter. That would be kind of awesome.

It feels like a slow news week, doesn't it? I mean, I don't know that I have as much to write about... maybe it's because my life is pretty boring when I do essentially the same boring things every day. That is why someone needs to pay me to quit my job and to write amusing anecdotes all the time. That's right, someone else needs to pay me to quit my job. It's great logic, don't you think?

Who'd ever thought I'd consider shopping at Hot Topic...

Hah. Hot Topic. I can't even say the name of that store without laughing.

Damn you.

An email from my roommate Annie, earlier today:

From: Annie W.
Sent: Tuesday, December 02, 2008 3:26 PM
To: Annie S.

If you're lucky i'll get
you a Team Jacob sweatshirt.

Just because you are such a
TWEEN

So true.

Venice is Drowning! (but it makes for SUCH good pictures)

Have you guys heard that Venice is drowning? I feel like people have been talking about it for years, and I do have to say that one of my regrets from when I was traveling in Italy was that I hit all the major cities BUT Venice... and now here is some photographic evidence that it really is going underwater.



But those men look like they're having such a blast! Check out the whole slideshow and accompanying article at the NYT.

Jingle Bells

I'm wearing a pair of DiTonto's boots today that sound like I've got little bells ringing on my feet from a mile away. They're sort of combat/horse riding boots and I inadvertantly look like I am about to go quail hunting (wearing a cropped trench coat this morning probably didn't diminish that look either). At the moment, I kind of wish I was quail hunting. Not that I want to go kill some animals or anything, but I don't know... shooting a gun kind of interests me and I'm sweating a bit right now because I am drinking a massive cup of tea, and the weather is cold(ish) and gray outside which makes me just want to be out in the dreariness and pretend I am in London shooting guns... or something.

TMI (for you, especially if you are my dad or brother or any family member really)

Here's an actual IM conversation between me and a friend this afternoon, which began as we lamented annoying reply-all emails that are irrelevant and stupid:

ME[4:58 PM]:
i want to reply all, STOP FILLING MY INBOX WITH USELESS COMMENTARY UNLESS YOU HAVE ADDERALL YOU ARE WILLING TO SHARE (FOR FREE)
FRIEND [4:59 PM]:
hahaha
ME [4:59 PM]:
now excuse me while i watch some clips of robert pattinson interviews on various twilight fansites
FRIEND [5:00 PM]:
haha
just tell me you're keeping your pants on
ME [5:00 PM]:
maybe i am and... MAYBE I AM
seriously though i have an unhealthy obsession
i'm a total tween fangirl for him
(translation: horny)
hah
tmi?

(no response)

Ah yes, what really goes on during my workday--endless discussions of drugs and sex. Actually, this is really just what happens when I have had three hours of sleep and can't focus on ANYTHING but acquiring ADHD meds to help me with my exhaustion/inability to focus, and... sex.

Visine Dreams

First, that would be an AWESOME name for a band. Wouldn't it? Visine Dreams! Shit I am claiming that RIGHT NOW so no one take it. DON'T.

Anyway, I was musing that my desk looks like my library carrel (how is that word actually spelled?) always did senior year of college... random magazine articles, stacks of paper, books, notepads, pages of typed prose with red markings everywhere, headphones, coffee cups, cell phone, water bottles, Visine... the works. Post-Holiday blues I guess? More like post-holiday deadline cramming. Seriously though, Visine is awesome. And I know it's probably REALLY bad for me to be dumping that shit in my eyes when they feel red and tired and kind of allergy-ish, but it helps, it helps!

And I keep dreaming of a future in which I am no longer doomed to stare at a computer screen all day, frying away my eyes, or at least if I am... it's because I am writing for fun (work) or something...

I'm Thankful We Get Another Vacation in Three Weeks

Good Morning all, and welcome back to what is sure to be a really long work-week.

Despite a lovely and restful Thanksgiving holiday, I feel like total ass right now after a mere three hours of sleep last night. Why a sudden 11th hour onslaught of insomnia after steady 8-hours-of-sleep-per-night? Ah yes, the typical back to work anxiety plagued me well into the night (or this morning, rather) as well as stressing over the fact that I am going to be turning 25 in a month (and I have yet to plan my big party or stop living in denial of my pathetically absent love-life) as well as deliberations over what I will wear to a tacky Christmas party this weekend (I am envisioning a lot of sequins).

Happy Thanksgiving too—I had intentions of posting over the weekend, however I spent the majority of my time reading the last two of the Twilight books or watching a lot of average movies. Actually, I saw two double features over the weekend. Of course, when I say double feature I mean that I paid for one movie and timed it precisely so I could sneak into another one just after, without paying. This worked quite well, except during the Four Christmases/Australia (worst movie ever) transition in which the president of Tom’s Shoes attempted to thank DiTonto for wearing her shoes, well DiTonto attempted to nonchalantly run/walk up the stairs without getting caught, and thus spurned nice president of ecologically-minded shoe company.

Anyway, it’s hard to believe we are so close to Christmas and that I really just have two weekends left in LA before I head back East. I am so excited for New York and Maine... however I am truly nervous for the cold weather, considering it was in the low 60s yesterday and I was wearing a down jacket. Now I’m embarrassed.