TV You ABSOLUTELY Should be Watching

While I adore Glee, no other new show this fall compares to Modern Family. I can't adequately express why the show is so perfect, so I'll let brilliant comedy writer Ken Levine do that for me. Read his expert commentary on Modern Family here.

On second thought; just watch the pilot:



And in my opinion, the second episode was only better. This is a damn fine television show.

Sweatpants: the Sequel

For those of you who care, my sweatpants arrived in New York City yesterday, no thanks to my failed attempts to re-route them via UPS and the store in Michigan from whence they came. Good news is my step-mom got to them first and I've been informed they're now en route to Los Angeles.

PHEW! It's going to be 80 degrees and sunny here tomorrow, I REALLY need those sweatpants!

(Wait I am having deja vu... have I written about this before? Maybe I should blog about my issues with short term memory loss...)

WARNING: I AM A BAD PROOFREADER

At my last job people loved when I would proofread their stuff. I think I was referred to at one point as "Hawkeyes" (which is sweet, because my brother and I used to call our mom that when we were little--she had a real knack for spotting wildlife, such as bald eagles, hawks and the like, whilst driving). However, if you haven't noticed, when it comes to my own work I am a truly horrific editor. Whether it is spelling or grammar I always manage to miss important mistakes. And yes, I've written about this before, but I feel I must again provide this disclaimer to all the grammar snobs out there (coughDadcough) who might stumble across my blog.

an "oh no" explanation

I say "oh no!" a lot. Now that might not seem like anything extraordinary but the way I say it is important. So pay attention.

When the phrase "oh no!" leaves my lips it sounds just like Phoebe from Friends. For further explanation, I suggest watching this clip, where you not only get to see her use "oh no!" in a variety of contexts, but witness the genius that is one of my favorite comedy characters of all time.

oh no (on so many levels)

I did not watch The Hills last night. Shocker, right? Even more shocking: I am not upset about this. Not in the least. I am totally OVER this show.* However, I am upset that I missed the premiere of The City. The word on the streets (buzz on the internet) is that it was a far superior premiere and I can't resist Olivia Palermo in all her evil socialite glory. Hmm, I don't even think we record the show any more, something that shall need to be remedied pronto.

You know something, all this makes me nervous. Between the MTV pseudo-reality shows, So You Think You Can Dance, Project Runway, and yes, I watched The Biggest Loser at the gym last night and was nearly brought to tears, is my facade of only liking scripted television beginning to crumble?

This is not good. Not good I tell you.

*In all reality, I am probably not over The Hills, and it will take about 5 minutes of Kristin Cavallari to suck me back in...

The Booby Scare

This is great. A bunch of my favorite TV stars plugging a cause I care about in a funny and creative way. Check it out:

THE BOOBY SCARE Featuring Alyson Hannigan, Emily Deschanel, Kat McPhee, Minka Kelly and Jaime King - watch more funny videos

God, I'm Nice

So I spent $90 at Trader Joe's last night. That seems like it's impossible to do, and trust me, I was amazed when they told me the final tally, especially considering the fact I've never spent more than $50 in one go there, but nonetheless, I had a $90-sized hole in my pocket but enough groceries to last for a while. Or so I think.

See I have this issue at work of always offering everyone around me all my food. Usually, people don't want the food I offer because it's all either organic or weird (see: organic black licorice bites) but often times, when offered, people will accept. And while I am always happy to share, every time someone else takes something from my stash I can't help but think that I am just losing money left and right... but I can't stop myself from offering. I am just TOO nice! SERIOUSLY. Or maybe I am just paranoid and bad at sharing? Yeah, I am probably not nice at all just being one of those selfish girl who hoards away all her food or something. I don't know, but clearly the whole situation has me questioning myself. I confused.*

*Lack of conjugated verb intended to better express confusion.

OMG OMG TINSLEY MORTIMER

Okay. If you're a longtime reader of this blog (I think there might be, like, 7 of you) then you know that I occasionally like to chronicle the trials and tribulations of New York socialites. Well, really just Olivia Palermo and Tinsley Mortimer, and only because my dad has a fascination with women who are famous for no other reason than being famous... or something. So imagine my excitement (and Olivia Palermo's insane jealousy) to learn that Queen Bee Tinsley Mortimer (my dad's favorite socialite) will be getting her own "docusoap" on The CW.

YES. YES. YES! This is (as the online gamers/nerds say,) so full of win. It's going to be terrible and addictive and amazing. And I have a feeling my dad will watch every episode, even when he pretends he won't. And I also have a feeling I will get really excited and blog endlessly about it and then stop caring after it airs when I am easily distracted by some other new show on SyFy.

UPDATE: My dad just emailed: "I'm over her." I think he's lying.

ANOTHER UPDATE: My dad just emailed again, after reading this post (and apparently the one below): "Sorry, I am over her and I won't watch the show but I am excited about my new sweatpants. I hope they fit. xo, Dad" I still don't believe him about Tinsley Mortimer but I am now very concerned about my sweatpants.

Man, I am dumb sometimes

So, I'm fighting off a cold, right? And in my attempt to go full court press on this sucker and not get really sick I may have been over doing it on the various medicines (homeopathic or otherwise). Correction, I definitely have been over doing it.

Last night in my drugged up state I thought it would be an excellent idea to purchase a pair of University of Michigan sweatpants. No, I did not go to the University of Michigan, however I am a big fan of Michigan football, and I guess I had a momentary longing for those college days where there was nothing better than a fresh pear of sweats. So I did some online shopping and after much debate between yellow and white, I went with these:



Now, that was my first mistake. White sweatpants. That was a TERRIBLE idea. I am one of the klutziest people I know, and have a tendency to spill on myself several times a day so why on Earth would WHITE sweatpants be a smart decision?

Secondly, I really flubbed up when placing the order. Instead of listing my shipping address as my California address and my billing address as my New York address, I did the reverse. Which means my dad is about to receive a pair of Michigan sweatpants, which he might end up keeping for himself. He's the one who actually went there.

Yes, I already tried to re-route the order but the dude at the Michigan store sort of just laughed at me and said he'd "see what he could do."

See kids, the lesson here is that you shouldn't go shopping when on drugs. That is all.

Thank You, WSJ, for Validating My Existence

Okay so the other day I was telling my former boss I was coming down with a cold again, and she responded with "You are a fucking Petri dish of germs." She is both hilarious and correct. I seem to get sick a lot. Like, A LOT, a lot. An excessive amount. It's not usually anything major, although my sicknesses can often sideline me for a few days. And there was that time senior of college when I had to be hospitalized with what the doctor's told me was the worst case of mono they'd ever seen without my spleen bursting and resulting in death. Or back in July when I was vomiting every hour on the hour and couldn't keep a goddamn saltine in my stomach.

Okay so yes, I get sick a lot and I can get really sick and I know it is because I "burn the candle at both ends" as they say. OR IS IT?

GET THIS: The Wall Street Journal published an article detailing how children born in the winter or more likely to be sickly. OMG I WAS TOTALLY A WINTER BABY! (January 4th--remember that for when you want to send me a present. A gift certificate to J. Crew is advisable). This explains EVERYTHING!

Here's the link to the WSJ article, and you can just go ahead and ignore that whole section about how winter babies are less successful blah blah blah. Actually if my life turns out to be a miserable existence, then that's my cop-out. At this point in time, however, it's TBD. But F-you January birthday. Now I'm perpetually sick! AND, I have to share my celebratory time of year with Christmas. Ugh my life is soooooooooooo hard.*

*Please note sarcasm.

my irrational fear of making coffee

So, I don't know how to make coffee. I realize this is ridiculous, considering I waitressed for about 4 summers in high school/college, and that I have worked as an assistant in Hollywood for two years now, and that is practically a prerequisite for any low-level job. But it's true. I don't know how to make coffee and I have an irrational fear of making coffee. What if I burn it? What if I put in too much water? Where is the switch that I flip to make it go... or something?

Rather than face this fear head-on I have decided I am going to attempt to go my entire life without knowing how to make coffee. MARK MY WORDS, I shall NEVER learn how to make coffee!

You know you've made it when...

...your article about TV Fans Taking Over Twitter sits next to a poll for opinions on Miley Cyrus' photo scandal on the Twitter "Big News" page.



Oy.

no Emmys for me, thanks. see, there's this thing called the INTERNET.

I did not watch the Emmys last night. Was this sacrilege? Maybe. I used to plan weekends around awards shows. In eighth grade, winning an Oscar contest was the highlight of the year for me. (No really.) In recent years, however, I've decided that I don't need to spend three-plus hours watching Hollywood adorn its people with self-congratulations*. If there are any spectacular moments I can catch them on this the nifty thing called YouTube.

So what did I watch last night instead? The season premiere of Curb Your Enthusiasm (awkwardly hilarious, as always), the pilot for the new show Bored to Death (overall: meh), last week's Glee, and then some episodes of Bones I'd seen several times. Yes, dead bodies and science jokes never fail to lull me into a happy and peaceful sleep. And David Boreanaz is nice to look at.

So what did I miss? Well, it comes as no surprise that Neil Patrick Harris killed as host, and I am thrilled that Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog had an unexpected showing (video below). Considering how devoted I am to the world of web content, this recognition was well-deserved.



Speaking of, if you have never watched the entire Dr. Horrible, do yourself a favor and get watching. (Nathan Fillion is also nice to look at).

It's especially apropos, what with the constant debate over digital content vs. traditional television, that I chose to catch any Emmy tidbits online, wouldn't you agree? (And can anyone tell me if I just used/spelled "apropos" correctly?) Even though early numbers show that ratings for the telecast were up from last year, aren't live television events becoming less relevant? Especially when the West Coast airing is delayed? I'm pretty sure the only live TV I will watch nowadays are football games. (On that note, I missed the Patriots game yesterday but a big F U to the Jets. Yeah, I said it.)

Two more Emmy-related cents to share before I resume waking myself up this fine Monday morning: I'm over Mad Men winning, but think 30 Rock could never be recognized enough. The real reason I couldn't stomach the Emmys? No recognition for Battlestar Galactica OR Friday Night Lights. A damn shame, right there.

*I will change my mind of course (regarding Hollywood and its self-congratulations), for the day I win an Emmy for my yet-to-be written star TV series. Duh.

Music, Vegas, and that other time in Vegas

This is a big week for music in my life. No, it’s nothing nostalgic or sentimental, I just happen to be seeing two kickass bands this week and in some great venues.

For starters, Wednesday night I saw Phoenix play at the Greek Theatre. The show was fantastic. It more than made up for the miserable hour-plus traffic-heavy drive to the hipster haven known as Griffith Park. I’ve been listening to Phoenix for years now, maybe since when they first arrived on the scene, and while some of their oldest hits are my favorites, I’ve been totally nutso for their most recently released album Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix. They are impressive live; at sometimes orchestral, other times a less abstract version of Daft Punk, and a few times I really got the sense I was at one hell of a rock show. So yes, it kicked ass. The Greek Theatre is a sick spot to catch a gig, as well. A little more intimate than the Hollywood Bowl, but still with the incredible sensation of being at an outdoor amphitheater.

Tomorrow night I’ll be seeing the Killers play in Vegas. I saw the Killers play at Coachella earlier this year, which as you may recall, I raved about. Like Phoenix, I’ve had their most recently released album on steady rotation since January, and they strike me as a band that is consistent in delivering a great show. In fact, the Killers hail from Vegas, so what better excuse to head to Sin City?

Speaking of, the last time I went to Las Vegas was when I was driving across the country and it was an unintentional stop along the way. And I stayed at the Travel Lodge. Yes, the Travel Lodge. Why the Travel Lodge? Well, isn’t that obvious? Circus Circus, (aka shittiest casino in all the land,) was sold out.

You see, when driving cross country I was living the life of a traveling minstrel, and frugal was my middle name (okay, so I wasn’t ACTUALLY playing folk songs in royal courts, but I was living like a pauper, with all my earthly belongings jammed into my car). Circus Circus was the highest price we’d go for a hotel, but when that was sold out, the Travel Lodge was the logical next choice. And please keep in mind this is after days of camping and sweating and hiking and no showers. Oh and running out of gas in Utah and hitchhiking. Good times.

But anyway, my first and only other time in Vegas was a much different experience from what I expect to have tomorrow night. It was unique and amazing and I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way, but I am looking forward to experiencing Vegas in the more traditional sense. A night’s stay at the Venetian, a show, maybe a slot machine go-round, and hopefully I won’t end up with Mike Tyson’s tiger in my hotel suite Sunday morning a la The Hangover. But it is Vegas after all, so I guess all bets are off…

The Force is Strong With This One

There you have it, folks! Further proof why Obama is the man, and why he and I would get along quite well.

Damn, I want to have a light saber fight on the White House front lawn.

my neverending quest for olive cream cheese

I love bagels. LOVE. I especially love everything, cinnamon raisin and pumpernickel bagels. Those are my top three faves. It's been something of a struggle to find a really fantastic bagel place in LA, thought I have found two that I do enjoy. HOWEVER, nowhere in this city can I find olive cream cheese, the most delicious of cream cheeses, and apparently available ONLY on the East Coast.

AND THEN...

Today I took a different route to work (after an early morning visit to the DMV) and passed a bagel place I'd always wanted to check out. I walked in and there I saw it--among the listed items under cream cheese flavors was Olive and I could hardly contain my excitement, and after much deliberation (EVERYTHING OR PUMPERNICKEL!) I ordered an everything bagel toasted with olive cream cheese, only to receive this response from the indifferent man at the counter.

"Olive cream cheese has been discontinued."

I'm sorry? DISCONTINUED YOU SAY! JUST WHEN I THINK I'VE FOUND MY MOST FAVORITE OF SPREADABLE CHEESES AND YOU TAKE IT AWAY FROM ME!

So I went with cinnamon raisin and low-fat plain. Delicious, but not the same.

And therefore, I'd like to announce that I am going to attempt to make my own olive cream cheese. And then go to bagel places and make people try it and like it until they realize it's a flavor that every bagel place needs to offer.

Okay so I probably won't do this but maybe one day I will be inspired. Until then, I'll just frequent every bagel place in LA to find the olive cream cheese my heart so desires.

It’s the most wonderful time of the year…

No, it’s not Christmas. It’s the long-awaited return of FALL TV. And for those of who work in TV or simply just love TV, it’s just such a magical time of year. So let me give you a weekly break-down of my TV watching habits,

Let’s kick off with MONDAY nights, because, well, today’s Monday. Now, I have a true confession to make. I stopped watching Gossip Girl (CW, 8pm) about halfway through the season last year. I know, it’s simply terrible. What sort of pop culture junkie am I if I’m not up to date on the latest fight between Chuck and Blair or the bizarrely unimportant storylines following Vanessa or Nate? Well, it doesn’t take much to stay on top of this show, whether or not you actually watch, so even though I missed half of Season 2 I think I know what’s happening. They’re all dating each other and then hating each other and everyone is going to NYU and then there’s an evil twin and then the realize the island isn’t REALLY an island. See, at this point, I haven’t decided whether or not I will be watching Gossip Girl this season, which probably means I don’t care enough and will be watching a better show (I’m thinking of picking up The Wire or Big Love) instead on Monday nights.

That is, if I am not watching FOOTBALL! Folks I love the fall and I love watching football and those two just go hand in hand with beer and America and freedom and goodness. Saturday I think I watched about 9 hours of college football (my league of choice) and while I don’t love the NFL as much, at least there’s always Monday Night Football to sink your teeth into.

Now Tuesday nights are looking good. The remake of the classic 80s sci-fi thriller V (ABC, 8pm) starts up around mid-November, but even better is that So You Think You Can Dance (FOX, 8pm) is on for a solid two hours—and that makes for some great TV programming on one night. Some aliens and some dancing. Maybe some dancing aliens, I don’t know, but that would be great.

Wednesday night brings the results show for SYTYCD (FOX, 8pm) which I don’t really watch, only the dancing and actual results—in sum, about 5 minutes of quality programming until you know who gets the boot. After SYTYCD is Glee (FOX, 9pm) which I’ve already talked about being obsessed with. MUST SEE. Oh and I recently watched the pilot for Modern Family (ABC, 9pm) and while I definitely enjoyed it, there’s only so much time in the day I can devote to watching TV, and yes, I do have a limit.



The best night for television watching is, without question, Thursday night. Obviously, Thursday nights are traditionally great nights for TV, but the schedule is just overwhelmingly fantastic this year. Bones (FOX, 8pm) premieres this week, and there’s no need for me to reiterate my severe obsession with that show… but I will anyway. I LOVE BONES. It’s my 21st century X-Files with less paranoia and more comic relief. After Bones comes Fringe (FOX, 9pm), which I spent some time over the weekend getting caught up on, and this show is lot like the X-Files, but I’m nowhere near the same level as obsessed, however I am psyched to see how Season 2 plays out. The Office and 30 Rock (NBC, 9pm and 9:30pm—although SNL: Weekend Update will be on until 30 Rock premieres, complete with Amy Poehler!) are on Thursdays again, classic shows right there. I also plan to watch the new show Community (NBC, 8pm) as well as the potential Lost-replacement Flash Forward (ABC, 8pm) which will end up as a DVR special while I will be devoting real time watching of that time slot to Bones. Thursdays are overwhelming. I don’t even think I will be watching Vampire Diaries (CW, 8pm). Seriously. I have enough vampires and teen angst in my life as it is. Wait. That’s weird.



Friday Night Lights (DirecTV, 9pm). That’s all that needs to be said for Friday night (what with BSG off the air) and I absolutely cannot wait for Season 4 to begin on October 28th. I might watch Dollhouse (FOX, 9pm) Fridays as well, or at least record it and check it out later, but really FNL is the big gun on this night of the week.

Saturdays… if any TV is watched it will be college ball then SNL late night when I am drunk or something.

And hurrah for the return of Californication (Showtime, 10pm) and Family Guy (FOX, 9pm), two of my favorite Sunday night shows.



Well.

Now that you know what exactly I’ll be watching every day of the week, I highly suggest watching along, and then we can have all sorts of fascinating debates. But I must warn you: there’s a good chance that in about a month, the actual shows I watch on time will drop to approximately 4. There’s simply no way I can keep up with this many and balance work, working out, and yes, a social life. Unless I can train myself to get fewer hours of sleep each night, which trust me, I’ve tried. I’ve gotten it down to being comfortable at 8 hours a night, which may be normal for most people but is ROUGH for me. But, regardless of what I do end up watching seriously, I just love fall TV. There's just something in the air...

"No fatties. No hamsters."

I have no idea where on the interwebs this gem has been hiding, but thank God it's resurfaced. So much quote worthy stuff going on here:

Dating Montage
by smithy00101

Federer is a God

Not like we should be surprised but HOLY SHIT this shot is UNREAL. Dude better win the final...

OMG! Water Cooler chat!

Wow. For the first time ever I am in one of those office workplace scenarios where people have morning water cooler chat and let me tell you: it is AWESOME. Especially when you work in TV and the conversation is about last night's television shows, specifically the amazing Glee. I did an inner happy dance this morning after chatting with two people in business affairs about the show. Is that weird? Sure. Hey it's better than the last place I worked, where a lot of people acted too cool to chat about TV shows and I would make fun of people in the elevators with excessively overused small talk and no one ever caught on. Such is office life...

But anyway, yes Glee is amazing, mostly because the 12-year-old version of myself that only listened to musical soundtracks adores this show. So don't act shocked when I tell you that immediately after watching I downloaded last night's episode highlight: "Take a Bow" sung by the incredibly talented newcomer Lea Michele. Girl's got pipes. Reminds me of a younger Idina Menzel... and now I've revealed to you that other nerdy side of me, yes the part that really does love musical theater and contemporary performers.

Moving on... anyway... no idea what my point is here, but yes, watch Glee. Then talk about it with your co-workers. It's all the rage round the water coolers these days.

An Open Letter to Whoever Handles the Architecture of the Parking Lot at Trader Joes

Dear Trader Joes,

We get it. You're awesome. You're the king of the grocery stores, what with your perfectly marinated tender beef steaks, precisely cut fresh mango slices, and the most delicious Gorgonzola crackers I've ever found. However, your wide plethora of delicious treats and insanely good prices do not mean that you can just do whatever the fuck you want with your parking lot.

See, I went to the new Trader Joes that recently opened up on Olympic Blvd (right near Ralph's, which is definitely a big F YOU to that store) thrilled to maybe hit the market monolith during an off-hour, or perhaps discover this brand-spanking-new store would have heavenly parking. But NO. Just like the TJs on Pico, the one on Santa Monica Blvd in West Hollywood, and every goddamn Trader Joes I have EVER been to--the parking lot was a complete clusterfuck, regardless of the completely worthless - let's call him this because no other name seems to apply - "traffic director" who could not care less about the actually efficiency of parking.

Yes, sure I am a little riled up. But this is because the whole parking lot experience, getting in and out, took so long that it really just prolonged my trip home and the point of all this grocery shopping in the first place: MY DINNER.

So next time, whoever you are, crazy person who has zero understanding of utilizing space, try a little harder on the Trader Joe's parking lot, please. I don't care how good that sample of Garlic Naan they're handing out happens to be.

Regards,
Stamos

A Day Without Cats? This is BULLSHIT

Have you guys heard about this? A so-called "Day Without Cats?" Puhleeeze. Anyone knows that viral cats are the best thing to hit the internet since dancing babies.

Oh no.

So they turn off the air conditioning in my new office building after 6pm. I can't confirm that, but it is surely what it feels like, and that is not good for my temperature issues, LET ME TELL YOU.

Also not good is that these LA fires are really persistent, man. Like it's just hot and smokey alllllll the time. LA is not supposed to be like this! I was on the phone with my dad earlier who informed me he was at a Seadogs game last night (the Portland Seadog's are Maine's great minor league baseball team... or it might called farm team... I'm no expert) and it was really cold out. I WANT THAT. Those beautiful late summer nights in New England when it couldn't be more perfectly crisp? But nope, here I am in smokey, smoggy LA where it's hot as balls.

Enough complaining. Time to get PSYCHED about LA because guess what? (What!) My brother is moving to LA. TONIGHT. In fact, I am picking him up from the airport in about 20 minutes. Yeah that's right, this city is about to become overridden with STAMOS. Actually I am the ONLY STAMOS, but he's pretty similar to me. Even better, Joshie is moving to an apartment a block away! Even worse? My arch nemesis moves with him. Who, you might be wondering, is my arch nemesis? His cat, Geneva, known by 'Neva to many. Yes, Neva and I go way back to the days when she was a cute average sized kitten. But now she's overweight and has dandruff.

I hope that not only will my brother's move to LA inspire me to learn how to surf (aka he will teach me), but perhaps I will repair my relationship with Neva. Maybe I'll even get to post some cat videos of her. OOOOH see that is how we will become friends! I will exploit her feline ways for YouTube infamy!

Dear Diary

A prologue.

While I was home over this most recent vacation, my brother and I did some serious cleaning. A little over two years ago we sold our mother’s house and while we brought some things to our dad’s house in Maine, a lot of furniture and other random crap we stowed away in a massive storage unit. Since then we’ve tried to slowly go through all that crap (besides the nice furniture and artwork, which is in some sort of climate-controlled room somewhere. Actually I envision this stuff in some bank vault where you have to wear a hazmat suit to get in or something. Clearly I’ve never been to this storage unit so let’s hope that antique Grandfather clock is still telling time). We didn’t make our first major dent until this most recent trip, when we successfully decreased our storage space of crap by almost more than half.

(Now, before you stop reading because you are thinking this is just going to be really fucking boring, hold tight because this is coming to a point soon).

As you can imagine we went through a lot of stuff from our childhood. This included various toys, games, strange artwork, and between the two of us, a lot of Star Wars memorabilia (don’t worry, we held onto the Ewok village). I did have a big grown-up moment when I ceremoniously trashed the bulk of my X-Files collection (aka every magazine cover that ever showed a picture of David Duchovny or Gillan Anderson, as well as a lot of well-used VHS tapes). That was a good thing.

However, the highlight of this long and torturous process was finding my oldest existing diary. It’s a diary I received in fourth grade, wrote in sporadically, and continued writing in through my sophomore year of college. Yes, this diary spans 10 years (1993-2003) and it is fucking hilarious.



Yes that's both an Adidas Samba sneaker and an ode to Titanic.

I spent some time reading passages to various friends and family after this fantastic discovery and we all agreed on a few points:

(1) I was a weird kid.
(2) My obsession with The X-Files was unhealthy.
(3) I may have had an undiagnosed case of ADD all these years.
(4) I may not have changed much since age 11, because my diary has an odd resemblance to my blog.
(5) I was pretty into religion at a young age.
(6) I was kind of slutty as a young girl.

I realize those last two seem contrary, but in between entries talking about hooking up with guys (and there’s a hilarious passage from eighth grade where I vastly misinterpret third base), there’s an inserted letter “to God, from Annie.” Oh and when going through a box of pottery my dad started to pull out some stuff I made in third grade. Holding a strange blob up my Jewish father looked to me and asked,

“What’s this?”

I glanced at the object in his hand.

“Oh, that’s the Baby Jesus.”

Because in third grade I created the entire nativity scene in a pottery class.

So get excited because over the next few weeks you can look forward to reliving my childhood with me, as I post entries from my angst-filled journal.

To kick things off, I wanted to give you a peek at my chosen diary décor (did I mention it's a Lisa Frank journal? But of course it is), and my shoddy 11-year-old handwriting (if you look closely you'll see that in 1993 I both longed for a boyfriend, was not the best or the worst soccer player, and had a strong desire to know all the songs to the movie Newises).



Kittens and a neon sneaker? Why not.



Thank goodness my handwriting has improved since then. I still don't know all the words to the songs in Newsies, however. I'm working on it.

Prepare yourselves for a rollicking good time once this thing really gets going....