STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND READ THIS (unless you are easily offended, in which case don't)

The best Die Antwoord "story" ever.

gimme!

Do you know what that is? That is a glow-in-the-dark Tron hoodie. Obviously I plan on seeing Tron Legacy and obviously I need this rad sweatshirt. Mostly because it's glow-in-the-dark and I mean, who doesn't love clothing that glows? IN THE DARK? (Besides the unfortunate people forced to sit with you when wearing said glow-in-the-dark clothing?)

I have even have a glow-in-the-dark Lilly Pulitzer skirt. That's like the 80s meets Palm Beach Prep meets awesome. I need to dig through my closet for that radness ASAP...

Questions? Answers!

Still freaking out over the Lost finale? Not enough answers to your questions? Fear not... Read this because it’s SUPER helpful. I promise you are likely to breathe a big sigh of relief after reading. Seriously.

(I would be remiss if I didn't mention it was written by a Middlebury professor who is probably most famous for teaching The Wire to eager MiddKids every year. And he’s a rad dude).

Why the Lack of Sports Stores at LA Malls Proves That Angelenos are Fair-weather Fans; Or, An Open Letter to the City of Los Angeles

Dear LA,

You have so many malls. You really do. Sometimes I wonder if this is what New Jersey is like, except the malls here are filled with pretty people and nice stores and people with real tans.

I have, however, noticed an alarming trend when it comes to the malls of Los Angeles. Unlike many of the malls I know and love, your malls are often lacking a quality sporting goods store. Now I get that the Westfield malls like to be fancier and what not, but let's check out the Westside Pavillion - a pretty standard mall... I don't see any sports stores listed, do you?

See back on the East Coast you can almost always find at least a Foot Locker, Olympia or Sports Authority at any mall, if not all three.

Now besides the fact that I find this to be a general inconvenience, this also connects to a larger issue. Something that really grinds my gears when it comes to LA sports fans: LA sports fans are fair-weather fans and if they weren't, then all the malls would be overflowing with sporting goods stores so they could purchase team gear year round (and the UCLA/USC Pink line at Victoria's Secret definitely does not count - unless it counts toward embarrassment in which case LA, you should be embarrassed). Because let me tell you, as a longtime Boston sports fan I know a whole lotta places where I can get all the Red Sox and Celtics gear my committed heart desires.

The upside to all this is that I imagine there would be a lot more people cruising around the city with those damn flags connected to their cars if they were more easily accessible. And I really can't stand those stupid flags.

I've sort of lost my train of thought here so I am going to end with what I think should be the valuable takeaway from this oh-so well-crafted letter: GO CELTICS!

Love,
Stamos

Names, please!

So for my actual day job - you know, the one I get paid for and like, health insurance and cool shit like that - I am in the process of culling together a list of actors who filmed pilots for the 2010-2011 TV season however their pilots were not picked up. In other words, their pilots are dead and these actors are now frantically looking for work and hopefully not in a Starbucks near you.

More importantly, I want to know out of these actors (because sadly, there are many) you like most - who do you consider "names"? Who would you love to see every week on your TV screen? Who is completely underrated? Who is the best non-working talent out there? What's your dream TV cast?

Tweet me or leave your thoughts in the comments section.

The End.

I don't think that any other TV show's series finale has affected me as profoundly as Lost's did last night. Seriously. I spent two and a half hours crying. I loved the finale because at the end of the day what mattered in this show, and in life - is the connections we make, the relationships we build, and the happy moments people create together. I believe strongly in that, so the Lost finale was very satisfying for me, even if it did make me weep excessively. I'm sort of at a loss for words as to how to even recap, review or reconsider the finale now, so I'll leave it as is, and remain so thankful that I was a part of this phenomenon.

Onto the next...

In need of a self-esteem boost? How about a daily affirmation!

This girl is doing something everyone should do at least once a week. Things are pretty awesome, so go ahead and say it. And dance about it too!



Source

Happy Friday!

Coming soon to a TV screen near you: Sexpionage!

That's right folks, we've got a new word to enter into our pop culture lexicon and it's sexpionage. Thank you, J.J. Abrams.

Yep, I've seen Undercovers.

Earlier today an alert went around the office that the new NBC pilot Undercovers was available for screening on a WB website, but to login ASAP as it would likely be taken down. Well, being the J.J. fan that I am, and TV junkie (obv), I logged in immediately - and good thing because sure enough, mere minutes later the site was no longer accessible (in other words, someone at Warner Brothers is in deep shit right now, because that link went to a TV tracking board with a reach far and wide in this town, and I'd say Undercovers is the pilot on most severe lockdown this year).

Fortunately, I had left the link open in my browser after successfully logging on, and was able to watch the whole thing. I'm not going to give away major plot details or anything, especially since I wasn't technically supposed to see this pilot, and it sort of just fell into my lap, but I will share some first impressions...

Undercovers is sexy and stylized, from the music, to the title card, the locations, and of course - the two leads. Boris Kodjoe and Gugu Mbatha-Raw play a fun and believable married couple, who happen to be spies (and caterers - quite a combo). Obviously, they're both very good looking, but they were well-cast and they have good chemistry. These two definitely bring the fun (and yes, the sexpionage) to the show. I will add that while watching I couldn't help but think this is closest to Abram's other beloved spy-show Alias, minus the sometimes convoluted mythology, and there were a lot of fun action scenes that reminded me of Alias in its first two seasons.

My only major quip with what I saw was that occasionally the show bordered on the cheesy (yep, the word sexpionage is actually uttered in dialogue - more than once!) and there were some character developments that were a little, well, underdeveloped. Furthermore, there were a few instances when everything seemed to come together just a little too conveniently. But ultimately it's a good pilot that sets up what is likely to be a fun and engaging show. I was most surprised to finish the pilot with a sense that this would definitely have a bit of a prodcedural nature - although I think that format will work for Undercovers, and as it is from J.J. Abrams, I can't imagine the show wouldn't have some sort of serialized component.

However, is NBC the right network for Undercovers? Honestly, I'm not sure. Last night I watched another heavily-guarded NBC pilot, Love Bites from Cindy Chupack (another big name), which is also a fun, well-styled unconventional type of TV show, and again unlike the network's other programming or perceived brand. Or at least, what NBC's brand used to be. The thing is, NBC really is in a place of transition, so who knows. Undercovers felt a little better suited for ABC or FOX to me, but it could be just the sort of fresh breath of air the network so desperately needs.

I would definitely recommend tuning in when Undercovers premieres in the fall. I'm not sure if it will be compelling enough to keep me tuning in week after week, but I definitely found this first episode to be a fun ride, and I'm willing to give it a shot. I mean, for the sexpionage, at the very least!

Even if you don't watch Lost, I demand you watch this video

The genius of Michael Emerson strikes again!

Movie Trailers - Movies Blog

So you want to know about midi-chlorians, hmm?

A co-worker just asked me if I was a "Star Wars person." My response? I laughed. I mean seriously. SERIOUSLY.

YES I AM A STAR WARS PERSON!

I then explained I associated the original trilogy with my childhood and that's why it sits next to my TV and why I watch those films whenever I feel homesick, specifically The Empire Strikes Back which is my favorite and how the score during the Asteroid field scene is maybe one of the best pieces of classical music used for a cinematic purpose ever. And also "never tell me the odds!"

And then I had to explain midi-chlorians to her for a while and then I started talking about Sith lords and at one point had to check my facts because as I said to this co-worker "I may be getting the science jumbled." And then I realized, yet again, I am a nerd.

May the Force be with you.

Almost all my favorite things in one music video...

This Goldfrapp video is great because it features the following things that I love:

• Vampires
• Big Hair
• Lasers
• Synthesized beats
• a workout video
• an 80s vibe
• Soft lighting
• Catchy hook
• Sweatbands

Kitchen Stoners

I'm digging this NY Times piece about haute cuisine and marijuana culture. I've had the good fortune of eating at Animal a few times and it always strikes me as the kind of restaurant where people just got high and thought, "What would happen if we made a bacon chocolate bar?" And then they made it. And it was awesome. If pot-smoking chefs leads to more experimental food, then I'm all about it.

KG explains Lost to Big Baby Davis

I love the Celtics.

I love Lost.

I love this:

'Lost' audio: Garnett explains the island to 'Big Baby' from The Basketball Jones on Vimeo.

Where can I get me one of these?

I believe it's called a disco spacesuit.



No really.

AHH! UPFRONTS!

Upfronts are like maybe my favorite time of year in the TV Biz. (Gross, I can't believe I just wrote that). I just love seeing what all the networks are parading as far as shows old and new are concerned. For now I am remaining mum, but as more news trickles in and as I get my hands on more pilots, I'll post some thoughts and a general upfronts recap here.

Reasons my boss is better than yours...

An actual excerpt from an IM with my boss, after my other boss was showing me pictures of his kids:

Me [6:14 PM]:
Ahhhh he was showing me more pictures of his boys
I WANT BABIES
Boss [6:14 PM]:
gross
Me [6:14 PM]:
THEY ARE SO CUTE
I want a baaaaaaaaaaaby
I want 4 babies
I already have all their names picked out
Boss [6:15 PM]:
oh my
Me [6:15 PM]:
hahaha
I cant WAIT to be a housewife
Boss [6:16 PM]:
oh Annie. I don't want to know this.
Me [6:16 PM]:
hahahaha
I mean after I've been wildly successful
I am going to take a few years
to raise my children
then go back to working
when I can
it's going to be great
Boss [6:16 PM]:
also I still need to find penis straws

I'll leave it at that...

All in the golden afternoon

I just purchased the most beautiful edition of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking-Glass. I'm so excited because this is one of my favorite stories and I've been looking for a version I especially like for sometime.



Beautiful, right? Also - I kinda think that image of the flamingo playing croquet would make for a very cool tattoo...

My New Main Squeeze

Okay, so I am not wildly obsessed with NCIS, or anything - at least not compared to some of the other TV shows I geek out over (um, this week's Parks & Rec anyone? BRILLIANT) but I am starting to develop a serious love for Michael Weatherly. Watch this adorable video in which he uses scotch tape to master impressions of Kevin Bacon and Jack Nicholson (no, seriously).



Weatherly - you're officially my new main squeeze. Congratulations.

1,001

Hey so I just realized I've reached 1,000 posts. Ironic that my thousandth was about Lost. Actually not that ironic - quite fitting in fact! Maybe it's ironic because this whole blog began as a pre-jaw-wiring-shut-surgery experiment and it's evolved into something else entirely...

Thanks to my regular readers - whether you come here for the personal essays, the TV commentary, the music suggestions, or because you're related to me and/or live with me and I force you to read this blog with threats of exposing your most incriminating emails/secrets - thanks to you all, a thousand times over! Here's to a thousand more!

xo
Stamos

Stuck for all eternity on a metaphysically incomprehensible island?

Side note: yes you can expect to see an increase of Lost posts as we wind down to the series finale...

Neva: the fat cat you've never met!

I often say that cats and the Internet are meant to be. And man, is this true - earlier I tweeted a picture my brother's girlfriend sent me of his cat (formerly our family cat - all the way from Maine) who he'd brought over for a visit to my apartment (my brother lives a block away, and I've got a pretty killer deck that makes for a fun kitty field-trip), and after sharing the photo, I think I got the most Twitter @replies ever. Even more so than when I write about Bones (what? I know my audience).

Clearly, Neva is the next feline internet sensation. She's a cute cat with a pretty great personality, but the thing that's really working in her favor (for a life of celebrity, that is) - she's really, really, REALLY fat. So she's just funny without even trying. And before you attempt to chastise me or my brother or his girlfriend about animal diets, etc, trust me when I say this cat is in great health and she's been on a diet since reaching maturity - I guess she's just genetically predetermined to be the size of a small dog.

So without further ado, let me introduce you to Neva, the fat cat you've never met, until now!

Hi. I'm Neva. I'm pretty fat and pretty awesome.

So what? I like to eat!

I'm sorry, did you want to lay down or something?

(And in case you were thinking there is NO way that cat go on that bed by herself, then you are correct. She did not).

Don't hate me because I'm beautiful.

I'd get that for you, but I'm much too busy sitting here.

No biggie. I'm just the next Internet star.

No Cable? No Problem!

Okay, I realize I am supposed to, like, support cable TV and stuff, because it's my job and pays my bills and what not, but also - I'm a web addict and a victim of Gen Y (aka I am Gen Y) so I want to watch TV WHEN I WANT TO. Essentially, I want what I want and I want it NOW.

So for those of you out there who feel my deep pain, or lack a cable subscription. Here are my three favorite places to watch TV online (and while the bottom two may or may not be entirely legal - they're ad-free!):

Clicker.com
Sidereel.com
Fastpasstv.com

Sioux City? Hell Yeah.

My next vacation destination? Shit, this video makes me want to rock my face off in Sioux City!

Amy, Tina - we've missed you

SNL was great this week, wasn't it? Betty White kicked ass, Jay-Z kicked ass (I had a serious Coachella-flashback), and seeing all those great lady comedians on the screen again was a lot of fun, Molly Shannon and Ana Gasteyer especially.

Personally, my favorite sketch was (surprise, surprise) "Weekend Update." I love Seth Meyers, but God it was great to see both Amy Poehler and Tina Fey back at the desk with him:

On the Bubble

The phrase “on the bubble” is one of those somewhat lame industry terms that essentially describes a TV show that may or may not be returning next season. It’s usually a show that doesn’t get great ratings, which means the network has to really consider if it’s worth going through with another batch of episodes, regardless of the quality of content (hence why we’ve had to say farewell to so many great shows in years past). But ratings is only part of it... Actually, for a better explanation as to why some shows make it to air over others, I’d suggest checking out Craig Engler’s (yep, that dude at Syfy I interviewed not too long ago) latest post over at Boing Boing. It's a little different when it comes to a returning show, but he's sharing some good insight regardless.

One show that’s on the bubble, that I happen to really enjoy, is Lie to Me. The conceit of this show is clever – a man who is essentially a human lie-detector solves crimes – yet his great talent is often his greatest inhibitor. I have high hopes that the show will do well when it returns to Fox this summer (and I think it’s a good sign it’s been paired with The Good Guys, that new badass-looking cop show featuring Bradley Whitford and Colin Hanks), and higher hopes it will get a season three pick-up.

However things aren’t looking good. Not only did showrunner Shawn Ryan recently leave the show, but I’ve got a source who just told me today that the Lie to Me sets are sitting wrapped outside on a street on the lot, adding “Why would their sets be stored outside to the elements for the past month if it was going to stick around?” A solid point my friends. Le sigh. Man, I really, REALLY hope this isn't the case! Maybe weathered props are the next hot thing in set design?

So, all you TV watchers out there – if you are sad to say goodbye to a lot of your shows over the next two weeks, fear not because you’ve got a whopping 12 new episodes of Lie to Me to look forward to! Watch 'em! And keep your fingers and toes crossed this show doesn't stay on the bubble for too much longer - let's go for a third season!

Friday Night Lights' Fourth Season Premieres TONIGHT on NBC

You guys. Watch FNL. I know I tell you that, like, ALLLLLLLLLLLL the time. But I'm saying it again. BEST SHOW ON TV. And this fourth season might be the best season of FNL yet. Seriously.

New York Mag's Vulture Blog has a great pre-season prep sheet to tell you how you'll feel after watching each episode "so you don’t make the mistake of, say, planning to see a comedy show after watching an episode that requires ten boxes of Kleenex to get through."

Here's their rundown:

Episode 1, "East of Dillon": Disoriented.
Episode 2, "After the Fall": Uplifted, but still fundamentally concerned.
Episode 3, "In the Skin of a Lion": Stressed.
Episode 4, "A Sort of Homecoming": Uplifted, but still fundamentally concerned.
Episode 5, "The Son": Depression, sadness, despair, leading to cathartic super-cry.
Episode 6, "Stay": Optimistic, then realistic about the fate of high-school love.
Episode 7, "In the Bag": Anxious.
Episode 8, "The Toilet Bowl": Wishing Tammy Taylor were your mother.
Episode 9, "The Lights in Carroll Park": Uplifted, but still fundamentally concerned (about one character in particular).
Episode 10, "I Can't": Emotionally drained, wiped out, annihilated.
Episode 11, "Injury List": Frustrated, angry, overly involved
Episode 12. "Laboring": Just fundamentally concerned.
Episode 13, "Thanksgiving": Ecstatic, and then confused that you’re not more ecstatic.

SERIOUSLY YOU GUYS WATCH THIS SHOW. TONIGHT. NBC. DO IT OR REGRET IT FOREVER.

Clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose... (you'd understand if you WATCHED THE SHOW).

Words to Live By

"Give a man a fish, you'll feed him for a day. Don't teach a man to fish and feed yourself. He's a grown man, fishing's not that hard." - Ron F-ing Swanson explaining his anti-charity stance on last night's Parks & Recreation. Hilarious!

Lost, Full House Style

My favorite moment is Walt and Michael hugging Vincent. Really makes me miss those Tanners and Comet, and pretty much TGIF on ABC in general...

Sibling Love

I love my brother. I do. He's awesome. He's five years older than me and he's maybe the smartest person I know. It's annoying, but it's also awesome.

You should get to know my brother. He's going to be a very successful actor one of these days. Seriously. Until then, you can attempt to wade through his smart brain over at his blog, The Porpentine Spaceship (yep, the weirdness, the nerdom, and the sci-fi love runs strong in my family). Truth be told, I have no idea what he's writing about half the time, but I love him and I think it's pretty awesome all the same. And he's a really great poet. Check it out!

And on that note - not too long ago my dad was taking a look at both our blogs, and said to himself "Wow, my kids could not be more different." Except for the fact that we're both blogging, but whatever...

Nothing like a little validation...

A lot of friends, family members, and general TV snobs give me shit for loving and often advocating for the TV show Bones, but thanks to this very well-written Atlantic Wire article, I feel that my admiration for the show has been validated... and articulated far better than any efforts I've ever made to get people to embrace the show. (In touching upon some highlights I also have to admit another reason I have love for The Atlantic Wire - they've referenced me in some of their Lost coverage - even more validation!).

This paragraph especially stood out:

And it's also possibly the best show ever about the adult lives of nerds. The team of scientists who work with Booth (the token adult popular kid) and Brennan are successful, well-dressed, attractive, and brilliant, even if they still make Star Wars jokes, wear elf ears to holiday parties, and obsess over conspiracy theories. And unlike the leads on shows like The Big Bang Theory, they're also (with one notable exception) resolutely functional—enabled rather than crippled by the collective experience of their past social awkwardness and academic devotion.

It's really interesting to compare Bones' "geek" depiction to a show that seems so different in its treatment of the same - The Big Bang Theory (which I recently began watching infrequently, and do appreciate its charm, even though I don't think it's anything especially brilliant). The nerds on Bones are people I could hang with. I have to add that (on a completely superficial level), the female characters (except for, ironically, Emily Deschanel's Dr. Brennan) dress really well. I've spotted some Madewell duds on Angela Montenegro (Michaela Conlin) and that is one of my favorite stores. I could probably wax poetic about the glories of Madewell as much as I could wax poetic about my love for Bones.

The article also touches upon the excellent acting in the show, which I think is so often ignored by critics and perhaps even some viewers:

As they've navigated the attraction, fear, and friction that lead to their first real kiss, a dénouement that took 100 episodes to reach, David Boreanaz has revealed skills even Joss Whedon couldn't pull out of him over two entire series (Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel). Emily Deschanel has done work that ought to make casting directors reconsider their preference for her hipster sister as a romantic female lead.

The acting really is top-notch. It's worth mentioning that TJ Thyne excels as the misanthropic but easily-lovable Dr. Jack Hodgins. I mean, talk about an attractive nerd right there... (Seriously, he makes those boys on The Big Bang Theory look even more dorky).

Finally, I would recommend the show to anyone who's into science. Yes, that sounds vague, but it's true (again, I'll defer to the above-referenced article for more compelling examples). Actually, I'd even suggest that science junkies check out the books the series is based on, by author and forensic anthropologist Kathy Reichs. Less of the humor and quirks than the TV version, and the characters are almost entirely different (Temperance Brennan is the same in name and profession only), but personally, I enjoy the books for the cases and as I said, the science.

Okay. There you have it: my weekly "OMG I LOVE BONES, GO WATCH IT" post.

Rub a dub-dub, I blew up the sub...

Two great Lost-meets-The Muppets videos any fan should watch:

Watch Cougartown. No I am not kidding.

I love Cougartown. I think it is a great show and has only improved with each episode this season. It's funny, endearing, boozy, sharp, relatable, boozy, quirky, snarky, boozy, etc. (Really boozy - all the characters are winos which is pretty entertaining).

Look, I'm not going to launch into a lengthy argumentative diatribe to tell you why to watch the show - just, if you gave up after hearing that ridiculous title, or watching the pilot, reconsider and watch it again. For the musical numbers alone. (Yes, musical numbers. If you watched, you'd understand.)

Die Antwoord Gets a Tattoo.

Here's Die Antwoord getting a tattoo to promote his upcoming album release:



Verdict? Badass. Even though the Yin & Yang symbol is soooo 1996.

Hey here's me getting a tattoo:



Verdict? Significantly less badass. The spandex jazzercize leggings certainly don't help my cause.

Indulge me while I brag about myself for a moment

You know that scene in 30 Rock when Liz Lemon attempts to change the tank of water in the water cooler and the water goes everywhere? I imagine that's something a lot of people can relate to.

Not me.

Nope. In fact, I am fucking awesome at changing the water tanks at water coolers. And yes, I am going to brag about it. I've also officially become the water cooler tank-changer at the office because no one else can handle that shit quite like me. If there were a competition for who could change a water cooler tank and not spill a drop, I would probably win.

I need to add this to my resume...

Seriously Lost? You're Breaking My Heart.

I'm not going to attempt to recap last night's episode of Lost, which I shall forever remember as that time a TV show really made me feel emotionally unstable. Instead - I just want to remark on the fact that (SPOILER ALERT) with the deaths of some seriously beloved regular characters, this was the first episode when it really dawned on me that it's real - the show is ending, and it's ending soon.

I'm prepared to suffer more heartbreak as we approach the final hours, but I am not prepared for the aftermath of the series' completion. There will be a Lost-sized hole in my heart, and I doubt that any TV show will ever fill the void. The thing is - I am okay with that. I don't want another Lost, and I hope that the networks stop trying to find one. I just look forward to the next TV show that can spend the next six years blowing my mind.

Of course I'm going to love a band called Tanlines

I'm loving the latest trend in music - what I would call electro-beach rock. Or something. Check out this song from Tanlines and you'll know what I mean...