Happy Holidays from Jaw Wired Shut!

Happy Holidays everyone!

I'm about to leave for a vacation that includes a few days in New York City followed by a week in Peru. I'm back in LA the night of January 4th (cough mybirthday cough) and I'd say there's a 75% chance I don't write on this here blog once that entire time.

However, you can bet your asses I'll be on Twitter - so follow me, if you aren't already, which is unlikely, but I feel as though that should be mentioned. And if you're spending a lot of your time thinking, "God I wish Annie Stamell was blogging right now" then I would say this: (1) Dad get away from the computer (2) call your therapist or (3) I've been writing this since like, 2007, and I used to write about a lot of weird shit so just, like, read old posts or something.

But yeah - The Twitter. I'll be there. I might even be tweeting from Peru... but hopefully not - I'm really trying to get a nice break from technology this vacation. I'm even leaving my computer at home! [Insert gasp to express shock here].

So until my triumphant return, thanks so much for visiting! To all the people who've taken the time this year to check out my blog for some reason or another, I think it's just swell. Some of you came because you thought I offered legitimate advice about maxillofacial surgery. Others because you want to talk TV. Others because you thought this was Ann Coulter's blog.  Others because you can't turn away from the crazy. Others because you thought this was John Stamos' blog. Others because you're my Dad, and I make you.

No matter what the reason, I'm glad you found me! Thanks for visiting, and I hope you'll keep reading Jaw Wired Shut in the New Year (even you, Ann Coulter fans).

Happy Holidays and Happy New Year!
Love,
Annie

Anne Hathaway Invites Adorable Kids to the Oscars

Watch Anne Hathaway invite the adorable kids of PS 22 to sing at the Oscars. (The real goodness happens around the 3 minute mark).

They are so excited! And so happy! Do they even understand what the Oscars are? It doesn't matter! They get to sing! IN HOLLYWOOD! Seriously this is just too adorable.

Wait. Why is Wednesday Addams in the Kardashian Christmas Card?

Seriously - that one all the way on the left - it's Wednesday Addams, right?

Does this make Scott or Lamar Uncle Fester?

More importantly - why am I writing about the Kardashian's Christmas card? I don't feel good about myself.

WORLD MUSIC!

If you, like, me love yourself some World Music (in this case, African music), then check out NPR's piece on the 5 New African Bands that Ruled in 2010.

What did we do before the Internet and Cat Videos?

No seriously? Sometimes I wonder how I lived so long without having access to videos like this:

Ian Somerhalder has a popped collar and nice eyes

This photo - which I jacked from JustJared - is amazing for the following reasons:

1. His eyes

2. Popped collar

3. DENIM POPPED COLLAR

4. His eyes

5. His jawline

6. Is that a Carhaart jacket?

7. His hair

8. His eyes

9. He might be drunk.

10. Um, it's Ian Somerhalder.

Kanye's New Video Will Feature Jay-Z, Nicki, Minaj, Dead Girls, etc.

This video preview is creepy. And amazing. But the song? "Monster?" Well, it's on Kanye West's new album. It' amazing. And Nicki Minaj is AMAZING. And so is Kanye. And I love them. And Jay-Z. And I've run out of things to say besides AMAZING.

Ugh, Hip Hop Connection, why must you tease us so?

The Paul Show

Rather than actually have Paul Rudd host SNL this weekend, can we just have an hour and a half of these?

Yes I would watch The Paul Show. I would.

Backwash (the show, not the stuff)

So remember how I sometimes write for other websites? Well here's my latest column at Digiday Daily, which I think is better than usual, and you should totally read and comment on. Or I'll just repost it here.

Crackle.com has launched its new webseries Backwash, and thanks to regular cameos from high-profile stars ranging from Jon Hamm to Sarah Silverman to John Stamos, along with clever writing and a fun concept, it’s likely we’re looking at the platform’s newest hit.

Joshua Malina is well known on the small screen thanks to his regular roles on past TV successes Sports Night and The West Wing. More recently he’s been popping up in guest starring appearances on various broadcast shows like Bones and Grey’s Anatomy. However he’s no longer the staple TV presence he once was. It’s no doubt Malina is a comedic talent (although most of his TV work happens to be in dramas), and anyone who’s been following his Twitter feed over the past year would likely agree. I’d go so far as to venture that he’s one of the most entertaining comedians on Twitter now – proving that in addition to his acting, he’s got writing chops as well – at least when it comes to bursts of 140 character creativity.

You're totally into it right? Okay keep reading!

Now we get to see the full extent of Malina’s talents as a writer, as he has turned to the even-smaller-screen for his newest venture – a webseries he wrote, produced, and stars in for Crackle.com. Backwash is a delightful and zany comedy that really showcases Malina’s writing talent for the first time in an extended format – a savvy business move for an actor trying to make a bigger splash in the writing world. As is often the case, the web is an excellent showcase for fresh talent, or as an area to experiment with new ideas. Web content can often play by different rules than that of TV, so it’s truly an excellent platform for Malina’s show and for Malina himself to take risks he might not have been able to do elsewhere.

But before we analyze the new show and its implications for branded content, first we must ask, what is Backwash? (Other than, you know, the gross stuff at the end of a drink). As Malina explained on his blog for Crackle back in March, “loosely put, it's the story of three eccentric losers and the mayhem that ensues after they inadvertently rob a bank armed only with a salami in a sweat-sock.” Better yet, check out the first episode of Backwash, titled “Val and Jonesy”.

As the first episode reveals, the comedy of Backwash is smart, quirky, and self-referential – making it perfectly suited for the web. Considering Malina has been developing the project for several years, it’s nice to see the series finally has a suitable home.

One of the highlights of the show is that each episode promises a new host, all of them recognizable names. Personally, I loved Hank Azaria in episode two, and his delivery of the line “Yes, I lost a bet” (you’ll just have to watch it to see what I mean) and I’m especially looking forward to John Stamos pop up on a future episode wearing a mullet wig reminiscent of his days on Full House. Interestingly, this sort of string of A-list talent is something that on a normal TV show might be considered stunt casting, but with a web series it only bolsters the show’s appeal. This has been especially evident with the series’ marketing campaign and overall launch. Similar to a movie, Backwash had a full scale Hollywood red-carpet premiere and it’s been regularly showcase on various news outlets – those that are both web specific, but also sites that usually don’t cover branded online content. Clearly Crackle is taking advantage of Malina (and his co-stars) more mainstream appeal.

Backwash is poised to be Crackle’s newest success story – assuming that page views maintain throughout the course of the series. This could have some interesting implications for the future of web content – first of all, similar to the transition many film actors made from features to television shows, don’t be surprised if we see more and more recognizable names writing, producing and starring in shows for the online space. It’s certainly been the trend with web content over the past few years – however Backwash really strikes me as one of the first times a web series launch has been given nearly as much focus as that of say, a cable television show. 

What I’m most curious to see is whether or not Backwash, like many other web series of its ilk, attempts to make the leap from the very small screen of the internet to the slightly larger screen of our TVs. (Which would be an ironic end to the show’s lengthy development process, especially as Malina reconceived the content for the web specifically after it was suggested he steer away from television). Of course that depends on the level of success and the producers’ intentions – personally I’d love to see Backwash remain as a web series, as this would only offer further evidence as to why the web is such a great place for content creators to test the waters and try unconventional methods of production to deliver high-quality original programming.

Happy Tuesday, now with 100% more Snoop Dogg

If I were into "Best of the Year" lists, there's no doubt that the Gorillaz album Plastic Beach would be somewhere in my Top 5. Here's their latest video, featuring everyone's favorite stoner rapper in naval uniform, Snoop Dogg.

Now if we could just get a music video for my favorite track of the album, "Rinestone Eyes" then I'll be really happy. I'm willing to volunteer myself and my roommates - I mean, we did sort of make a great premise for this video not too long ago during the Police Panty Raid.

Farewell 'Terriers', Hello 'Lights Out'

As you guys know, I'm a huge fan of the FX show Terriers - so no surprise here that I'm super bummed it was announced today that the show has not been picked up for a second season. Considering its horrible ratings, this isn't much of a shock, and I imagine we should be thankful to have gotten 13 episodes of such a show in the first place, but still, I can't help but be saddened by the news.

However, we are lucky that FX has remained committed to quality programming, and the future only holds more of that. We've got a second season of Justified coming soon, as well as Archer, but more importantly, I'm looking forward to the January premiere of the new show Lights Out. I watched the Lights Out pilot late this summer, and it was fantastic. Holt McCallany is a really captivating presence onscreen and I've been informed that the episodes only get better from the pilot, which means this should be one helluva of a damn good show. Furthermore, this might be one of the best promos ever:

It gives me chills. The music? The editing? I mean shit, this looks damn good!

So, I bid a fond farewell to the greatness that was Terriers, and look forward to the next great show FX will bring us - hopefully Lights Out lives up to that expectation.

Norwegians Are Weird

Why did this happen? Tonya Harding and Jason Alexander and Roger Moore and Pamela Anderson and Dolph Lundgren and Boyzone AND SO MANY MORE BIZARRE CELEBRITIES? Doing Lip Dub! Of "Let It Be!" For Norway!

No really. I don't understand.

Best New Website Ever (of the day)

Things 90s Kids Realize.

If you were born in the 80s but spent the majority of your childhood in the 90s then holy shit this website will fill you with a strange mix of glee and heart-wrenching nostalgia for simpler times involving Carmen San Diego, Nickelodeon game shows, The Magic School Bus, Goldeneye, and even Fruit Stripe.  Enjoy!

Nathan Fillion is the Definition of Photogenic, Apparently

One of my favorite snarky pop-culture sites, Pajiba, attempted to track down an unflattering picture of Nathan Fillion, to almost no avail (they found one picture, just one). Seriously. Check out the entertaining piece here - you'll see even the worst picture of him is not all that bad (clearly the camera caught him mid-sentence. It happens, okay?).  Fillion is one of those dudes who just oozes charm and charisma.  I'd totally want him at my 10 Dream Celebrities And/Or Dead People Dinner Party. And apparently he can't even take a bad picture, not even when holding a light saber in a chef's hat during an awkward mustache phase. Ugh, if I didn't love you so much Captain Mal Reynolds, then I'd totally hate you.  But I love you.


Fun Fact: Firefly was the first Joss Whedon show I ever watched, and thus it always holds a special place in my heart. And Nathan Fillion.

I'm still pissed Mal and Inara never hooked up. Serenity 2 anyone?