Maine, again. And Tumblr again.

I'm back home in Maine and couldn't be happier about it. Things are calmer here. It feels like Christmas in a way, but that's probably because we're only ever all together here over Christmas, usually. It's me, my brother, my dad and my step-mom for the weekend, then just me and my brother until Wednesday when his fiancee gets in, then I head to Boston and Cape Cod for the weekend.

In case you haven't noticed, almost all my blogging is now taking place over at my Tumblr -- even the lengthier, more personal posts (although that only started recently and I'm still not sure I want to subject my followers to that -- but I suppose everyone signs up to follow you, just as you've signed up to follow this blog, right? Right.)

Anyway. I think for now you can plan on posts over here stopping for a while. Indefinitely, I guess. This makes me somewhat sad because I really do credit my entire writing career to this blog, but rather than think of my Tumblr as a separate blog I'm going to think of it as merely the evolution of this blog. Of course I may at some point get all these posts archived on the Tumblr or move them over there or however that works, somehow, if that's even possible. But until then, I'd recommend changing your Jaw Wired Shut bookmark to the http://stamos.tumblr.com/ URL instead! See you on Tumblr, my friends.

Teacher! Teacher! Teacher!

I was just doing some free association writing over on my tumblr (also yes, hi, it's me again, I'm still here even though I did take something of a winter hiatus, but I'm back to overshare here on Jaw Wired Shut for you and I hope everyone has been having a lovely 2012, mine has pretty much been awesome so far I'll tell you more about it later) and somehow a comment about doing some work spiraled into the observation that teachers don't make a lot of money.

I wrote:

I had to write about four paragraphs of copy for an upcoming episode. I do this kind of stuff a lot (I mean how else are fake Facebook pages for characters created?) for the show, but this one was REALLY interesting. I wrote about Schizophrenia and Winslow Homer and Maine and Art and for like five minutes, as I was thinking to myself, “this is fun and I am really good at this” I was also thinking to myself “fuck TV writing I should go back to school” and then I checked my bank account and realized there’s a reason more people don’t return to or stay in academia - it pays shit.

I think I need to add to this. 

That's fucked up. Teachers, professors -- they should make more money. They should make more money than TV writers.  I mean I don't make any money right now, because I'm what is known as a baby writer (seriously, this is sometimes a term for young writers), but like the good TV writer money.  Actually, what I make right now is probably akin to what teachers make (okay really it's a little less probably) and let me tell you, that sucks. If this is what teachers make then teachers are not getting paid enough to lead comfortable lives. At least not in cities or other places as expensive as LA.

Actually what do I know? I don't actually know how much teachers make but I guess what I am trying to say here is that I know it's not enough. It should be more. I know it will never be that way and it's weird for me to suddenly just think of this now, really, but it popped in my head and I thought, "teachers!"

My mom taught art for many years, then special ed, and for the year prior to her death, art again.

Teachers give their lives to other people. They give themselves. They give SO much. They should get more back.

I named this post "Teacher! Teacher! Teacher!" because when I was in high school I took an ornithology class and to study for exams we used little shortcuts (like mnemonic devices, I guess?) to help us remember the birds because yes we learned how to identify over 100 birds by their plumage and/or call and when the Ovenbird sang its call sounded just like "Teacher! Teacher! Teacher!" 

Being a TV writer is really hard, and I suppose on some scale, in the scheme of it all, it is an important and significant profession. But on a much larger scale, on like the whole big scale of everything, teachers are the real heroes.

Maine Problems

Apparently before I woke up some alarm went off on our septic tank. So while I woke up to a delicious breakfast from my dad featuring his INFAMOUS popover pancakes (think POPOVERS, but also think PANCAKES, and then think about those things together with lots of butter and powdered sugar and Maine blueberries) I also woke up to the news that there will be no pooping, showering or dishwashing until the plumber and contractor make it out here. So that means I live in my bed now, I guess.


Our stepmom had to take a last minute flight back to the city today because her dad is very ill and he had to go back into the hospital this morning. Total bummer. We're going back later this week, but until then it's just me, my brother and my dad, or as I like to call it: 1 Woman and 2 Babies. The upside to this is between the two of them I am getting a LOT of inspiration for a new pilot.


I regret drinking coffee this morning. You know what I mean here.

I love New York so much I haven't left the house in two days!

I am not a New Yorker. Every time I come home I am reminded of this fact. On Monday I had a meltdown when I got confused like three blocks from our house and called my step-mom in a panic to declare "this is why I belong in LA!"


My brother and I were given the option of going up to Maine tomorrow or today and both of us were like, "TODAY. NOW. RIGHT NOW! AS SOON AS POSSIBLE." I do love New York but ultimately, it's not for me. Never would I ever have thought that LA is more similar to Maine, but I guess it is... so Maine, here we come!

Zack and Kelly got married!

You guys! Maine is the best place in the world. It really is. I am so lucky to have grown up there and to still be so incredibly close to all my friends who did as well.

So yes - I made it home last week, despite Hurricane Irene's attempts to delay me, and it was the most lovely trip, which was capped off with the one of the best weddings ever -- when my two dear friends Brett and Garrett, (who are, BTW, high school sweethearts -- hence the Saved By The Bell reference in the subject of this post, duh) got married.

It was incredible! Brett was BEAUTIFUL. I mean she's always beautiful but seeing one of your best friends look that beautiful and happy and in love? Well, let's just say I cried all day. Like ALL DAY. It's funny because I think some of my friends maybe thought it was because the enormity of the event had me missing my mom, but in reality, I think it was the profound emotional impact of watching someone I grew up with, someone who is like a sister to me, someone who I admire and adore and love and respect, have a day for her, a day to marry the guy who makes her the happiest in the world and God, are they happy!

Yes of course I wish my mom could have been there because she loved Brett and Brett's mom was one of her best friends, but I felt that she was there watching it all go down and crying along with me! Frankly, I think I was too touched by Brett and Garrett committing their lives to each other to really focus on anything else. I mean -- and I know I'm going to sound like a big sap here -- it really was beautiful. Brett's family loves her so much - she's the oldest of four and the only daughter and the relationship she has with her younger brothers is amazing -- inspiring really. Jesus, just writing about it right now has me tearing up again (although when I told my own brother about my endless waterworks, he responded with "Well, you did cry during cotton commercials when you were a kid").  And look, some of you might be thinking that crying at a wedding is totally normal -- which it is -- but like, holy shitballs I was losing it. I gave a reading during the ceremony, and my only goal was to not cry during that, which I made it through. But the rest? Nope. I think I lost 5 pounds in water weight! At one point at the reception some random friend of Brett's mom came up to me and said "your display of emotion was touching" which was really sweet but then I am pretty sure I turned three shades of red (well, I was really tan so maybe it wasn't that noticeable but trust me, I was blushing my face off).

Anyway. Zack and Kelly got married and it was the best wedding ever (granted I've been to like, four ever and this was the first I was ever in but WHATEVER). We were also maybe the most efficient and on-time bridal party ever. We were so on the ball I think at one point we were, like, 45 minutes ahead of schedule. As I said on my Twitter that morning, and later on in the trolley on the way to the ceremony -- we bridesmaided the SHIT out of that wedding!

Garrett isn't exactly open-eyed in this shot but I pulled it from Facebook as none of the official pics are up yet.

I AM GOING TO MAINE ON FRIDAY! THIS FRIDAY! FOR TEN DAYS! COUNT 'EM! TEN! YOU NEED ALL TEN FINGERS!

Expect one of these shortly.

"Gotta love California in this day and age."

I got pulled over just after I got off the 405 freeway onto Santa Monica Blvd this morning. 

I knew, instantly, it was because my registration sticker was for last year (ironically just a few weeks ago our building manager asked me to put my current registration on it, but I couldn't find my 2011 sticker, only my 2010, so that's the one I had on the car. Because I'm an idiot and figured being one year behind was better than two).

Now before I continue, you should know two things:

(1) My car smells like pot

(2) My strategy for dealing with police officers has always been to play dumb

We pull over to the side of Sepulveda and I roll down the window and it goes a little something like this:

Cop: "Did you know your registration is expired ma'am?"

Me: "Oh yeah, actually it's not I just don't have the sticker on it."

Cop: "Oh okay that's fine just let me see your license and registration then."

So I start to rifle around my glove compartment and I'm taking forever.

Cop: "Okay where's the marijuana."

Me: "Huh?"

Cop: "The marijuana. I'm going to need to see it."

Me: "Oh yeah sure. Oh I have a card."

Cop: "Okay I'm going to need the marijuana and the card."

So I hand those over - meanwhile I have taken out ALL the papers in my glove box and am going through them one by one to try to find my registration.

Cop: "Do you have your doctor's note?"

Me: "Huh?"

Cop: "Your doctor's note - the certificate. You need to carry that with you."

Me: "Oh really? Oh I didn't realize that I need both. Okay I keep that safe at my house."

Cop: "Well start carrying it with you from now on."

He hands me back the weed and the card. He then looks at my license. I'm still looking for my registration.

Cop: "How long have you lived in California?"

Me: "A little while now."

Cop: "Why don't you have a California license?"

Me: "Oh I spend a lot of my time in Maine for work. I still have a home there."

Cop: "Where do you spend most of your time?"

Me: "California."

Cop: "I'll be right back. You keep looking."

So he walks back to his car holding my license - and I throw my pot on the passenger seat while I'm still rifling through those papers. Finally I find it - sure enough I am registered for 2011 and have my sticker stapled to the form. I poke my head out the window and wave at him.

Me: "Heeeey! I found it!"

Cop: "Okay I'll be right there."

Me: "Can we put the sticker on it now?"

Cop: "What's that?"

Me: "Let's put the sticker on now!"

Cop: "Just a moment ma'am."

So after a few minutes he comes back to my window and grabs the registration and then he walks away again.

I send a few emails - first to my boss just to give him the heads up I got pulled over and am going to be late. I look in the mirror at one point and see that the cop is making his way back.

Cop: "I put your sticker on your car but this is a verbal warning that you need to keep your doctor's note on you for your marijuana at all times and you need to get a California license."

Me: "Okay do I just like call the DMV?"

Cop: "Yes you call them up and take a test?"

Me: "Is it hard?"

Cop: "It's just a standard written test ma'am."

Me: "Okay cool I'll do that."

Cop: "It's really important you do. The California laws are different from the Maine laws."

Me: "Okay I guess I can have two licenses?"

Cop: "Yes you can. But if you're in California you need to get that California license."

Me: "Okay well thank you."

Cop: "Do you need me to help get you back to the freeway?"

Me: "Oh ah, huh, no I'm going to work. I got it. Thanks man."

Cop: "You have a good day now."

And off he went and I drove away and started laughing like a crazy person. 

Because, well, REALLY? 

First of all the dude told me I could have two licenses - is that even real? I'm pretty sure it's not. Secondly, I am so thankful I have a marijuana card because it was truly an insane experience where this drug, that for so long has been associated as WRONG and BAD and ILLEGAL  that I had in my car was LEGAL and he couldn't do anything about that. Like this dude actually had to hand me back my little canister of medical-grade marijuana. That was surreal.

I also think it helped that I was playing dumb and that I was pretty calm about the whole thing - I mean of course I was calm, because I knew that outright, I had done nothing illegal (sure you could find some legal grey areas in there, but that worked out to my benefit I guess).  Don't get me wrong - I mean deep down I was freaking out that I was going to be fined a SHIT TON of money between the license, the registration and not having my doctor's certificate on me but I really did keep my shit together.

Speaking of keeping my shit together, I mean I wonder what was going through this cop's head when I rolled down my window and he sees this chick he has to deal with - like this dumbass girl who is driving a car that smells like weed - and like OF COURSE she has a registered car but with the wrong sticker on it and OF COURSE she thinks she needs to keep her doctor's note for her pot at home. Like what a dumb fucking white girl stoner. I mean I probably pose the least danger to society ever. But at the same time? That cop could have just FUCKED me over. Not only did he let me go with a verbal warning but he changed my registration sticker for me. I didn't have to lift a finger.

Moral of this story is if you live in a state where pot is legal/decriminalized and you think you're ever going to have it on you in a public place you ABSOLUTELY should do what you can to get a card.  I was so thankful that at that moment, everything I was doing was within the parameters of the law. (Ignoring the legal grey areas like - shouldn't the cop have known that you technically need a CA license to even get a pot card? I mean when I got my card I proved my residency by showing my lease, but he could have nailed me on that - whatever I am getting my CA license ASAP, that's for sure).  

The other thing I learned here, is that despite the generally bad rep, there actually appear to be cops in LA who recognize when someone's just a dumbass who can't get her shit together. I mean let's be honest, I spend most of my life at work. And when I am not at work I am trying to capitalize on that fact by either writing, or sleeping or working out or watching TV so you're probably not going to find me at the DMV taking care of shit.  Or maybe what they say is true and he let me off so easily because I'm a girl and I was calm and polite and kinda dumb. Who knows. I'm incredibly lucky, that's for sure. And incredibly stupid, if we're being honest about the whole thing (and clearly, we are).

When I told my boss the story this morning he was like, "trust me when I was your age and I had a story that included - 'and then the police officer could smell my weed' - it would have gone a very different way. Gotta love California in this day and age."

Obsession of the Week: Maine & Mason Jars

So I've totally become a Tumblr slut. You guys I hate this but it is SO much easier than Blogger (translate: good for lazy people). And obviously we're seeing the effects of that here as I am blogging less and less.

One of the best parts about Tumblr is the organic way you discover new blogs that you think you probably never would have found elsewhere. Like Maine & Mason Jars.

I mean I don't know who this site belongs to but I swear to God, it's like they made it for me. As I type this there is a picture on the site of an adorable black lab puppy. Hello to my future pet. I mean. WOW. MAINE AND MASON JARS. God I love it.

So yeah - this is also another reminder to check in with me over at Tumblr.  

WE'RE NUMBER 1!

YOU GUYS! THIS IS SO EXCITING! My beloved high school, where I spent some of the best years of my life with some of the BEST people I've ever known, is ranked number one on this Forbes list "The Best Schools for Your Real Estate Buck." I FEEL SO PROUD!

The Airport Adventure of a Lifetime!

So last night I left Los Angeles on that red eye headed back to Maine. For lack of travel companions and really, anything better to do, I spontaneously decided to "live-tweet" the majority of my travel experience. Here it is in its gloriously annoying chronological entirety, from airport arrival to the security checkpoint, to the Hudson News, to the plane, to my layover, and all the way to Maine - my Airport Adventure of a Lifetime!

I think Sam Axe would approve of my travel clothes, don't you? http://twitpic.com/2k4uvm

Airport Security Check vs. The Jolly Rancher. It's a race against time!

I'm about to take a massive tweet dump. #gross

Dear Air Tran, thanks for calling me 5 times to warn me about a gate change but not telling me about the 40 min flight delay. #WTFisAirTran

That was fast. Airport Security Check: 1 Stamos: 0 #thejollyrancher

I'm offended that no one else in line has acknowledged my Chuck Finley t-shirt. Apparently you all have horrible taste in television.

Remember that time that lady called me a cultural fascist for hating Private Practice? That was awesome.

Omg thank GOD I found the Nicholas Sparks section: http://twitpic.com/2k5cau #gross

Tucker Max - for your sake, I hope they don't serve beer in hell.

I'm wearing jeggings. #gross

Airports: the one place it's socially acceptable to drink alone. #beerme

I lost my license and have developed the terrible habit of flashing my passport as though it were a police badge.

I just realized I should probably head over to the direction of my gate. At some point. #thejollyrancher

Ever worry you're gonna take an Adderall when you mean to take a Xanax? #whitegirlproblems

They should really just rename Air Tran to Budget. Just Budget.

I just dominated See's Candies. It's the Airport Trip of a Lifetime!

Licorice, Peach, Buttered Popcorn and a whole lot of Sizzling Cinnamon: http://twitpic.com/2k5p28 #jellybelly

Air Tran is the Fung Wah of airlines.

I don't want this airport adventure to end! It's like I'm playing Tom Hanks in my own Tom Hanks movie.

Going to the airplane bathroom - excuse me, lavatory - is miserable.

No seriously, what IS Air Tran?

Spotted - baby who will potentially cry at 6 o'clock.

That's right Mr. Flight Attendant. You get me that non-bottled water.

Of all the drugs I'm prescribed I'd have to say Xanax has the worst chemical aftertaste. #whitegirlproblems

This will be the best flight ever, by default. There's no one sitting next to me.

Sir, you will have to pry this mobile device from my cold dead hands if you want me to power off. 

Woke up to creepy dude two seats over patting my back. Never again, Air Tran.


First thing I spot on layover in Baltimore: http://twitpic.com/2k7ndw #sillybands #Imbaaaaack

MAINE! (Thus ends tweet dump. Going off the grid. Thanks for playing)

I'm so excited to go to Maine I literally might vomit

I haven't been home in 9 months. Yes, I still consider Maine home and yes this is the longest I've ever gone without going home.

I pretty much could just rewrite this post from two years ago word for word - it really sums up all the emotions coursing through my brain right now.

Mostly I'm excited for all the activities. Kayaking, sailing, tennis - the smell of the amazing fresh ocean air and being outside in the best state ever... oh man, get me there now!

Sailing with my dad off of Ferry Beach in Scarborough, ME

Kayaking with my brother in our backyard. Yes, that is literally our backyard.

"It's always fun to get away from camp. Even for an hour!"

I spent the 4th of July weekend in the lovely Napa Valley region, on a "girls and gays" trip to Sonoma for lots of wine tastings and Broadway sing-alongs. It was heavenly.

I hadn't left LA since April, and before that I guess it had been Christmas. As nice as it is to stay local on long weekends and relax, I forgot how incredibly refreshing it is to get out of town.

When we were in the cab on the way home from the airport yesterday I turned to my friends and remarked at how lovely it was to get away. DiTonto, of course, had the perfect response, in the form of a Wet Hot American Summer quote:



Please note - Waterville, Maine doesn't actually look like that.

Bullet Points

Despite what you may have heard, I have not been in hiding since the disappointing Celtics loss in the NBA finals last Thursday. The days just seem to get away from me so here are a few bullet points as to what's going on...

+Yep, I lost that Celtics-Lakers bet, which means I need Twitter followers to start responding to me or Marisa with what show they think I must suffer through. And we're getting a lunch date on the books so I can endure the pain that will be donning Laker gear for a picture.

+KCRW's recurring series World Music Night at The Hollywood Bowl kicked off this past Sunday, and I was one of the lucky attendees. I went mostly for Brooklyn band Yeasayer, but I'm a huge fan of Tinariwen and Baba Maal as well - yes, folks, I love World Music, and if you've been following this blog you know this is nothing new.

+Yesterday I opened my mailbox to find a letter I had written to myself in April 2001. It was pretty crazy reading something from 9 years ago - and I had to laugh at my sweet worldly intentions - see I wrote it during the second day of a three day solo during a semester I spent in high school living on a farm in Maine (seriously). So it was hardly surprising that one of the items of advice I gave myself was "listen to birdsongs. You know them." Seriously. Truth is - I actually did know them; I spent that semester taking ornithology classes!

+Two weeks ago I went to the book party for the new Bret Easton Ellis novel, Imperial Bedrooms, the much-anticipated sequel to his well-known classic Less Than Zero. The party was exactly what you might expect - at a lovely suite in LA's famed hotel The Chateau Marmont, and I swear to God the DJ just took the soundtrack from American Psycho and pressed play. Celebrity spottings included Rose McGowan and Shannyn Sossamon, and then there was the general crowd of attractive-people-who-look-familiar so maybe there were more.

+I took a pause on writing up recaps of The Hills for The Huffington Post because that show is just so bad. I briefly considered writing them for The Bachelorette, but that show is way too long for me to be interested in recapping. I mean I'm all for making fun of crappy TV, but those 22 minutes on MTV are a lot easier to handle than two hours of awkward dates.

+I've been watching more TV pilots - including the much-buzzed about Lone Star, airing on FOX this fall - definitely a show to check out. The lead actor, James Wolk, is a sort of cross between George Clooney and Kyle Chandler.

+Two bands I've gotten into recently are Grum and Four Tet - check them out.

Happy Summer, by the way! Hopefully regular blogging will resume now that I've emerged from whatever fog my head's been in.

"Why are you a Celtics fan?" "Well, I'm from Maine..."

OMG NO WAY! Another post about the Celtics! Look, it's like election day, when all I can think about is my team (at least I am not live-blogging my every thought and whim, right?) so indulge me for a moment, as I am going to explain my love for the Celtics...

My dad loved basketball. When he was a kid growing up in Michigan, that was the sport he loved to watch, play, whatever. So, only natural that when my brother and I were kids my dad wanted us to find the same enjoyment and fun out of watching basketball as he did. Thing is, we grew up in Maine. There are no professional basketball teams in Maine (well until about a year ago when the Red Claws, the Celtics' development team, came to Portland), for that matter, there aren't any major league professional sports teams in Maine - so my dad had no choice but to take us to see games in the nearest city with some high-caliber sports events - thus, hello Boston, hello Celtics. My father was, and still is, a diehard Pistons fan, and besides that, he likes to be contrary just to be contrary, so he holds strong to hating the Celtics.

How ironic that in the process of getting his two young kids to fall in love with basketball, we both fell in love with the Celtics in the process?



This picture makes me laugh because I am SUCH a little sister...

When you wish upon a star...

As you may have noticed, either from the day-before post, or the lack of posting, I spent all day last Friday with my roommate DiTonto and her mom, who had been in town visiting us for the week, at the magical place that is Disneyland.

Now, what I may have failed to mention is that this was really my first Disney experience. The one where I was pretty much a baby doesn’t count. It’s also worth mentioning I have never been to a Six Flags or a Busch Gardens, and my only amusement park experience is Funtown USA, aka Maine’s pathetic excuse for a theme park (for proof of this lackluster place, please enjoy their budget website). I have also not been on a rollercoaster since I was in England in eighth grade, and I have never been on a ride that goes upside down.

So what I am trying to prepare you for here, is that this trip to Disneyland, was, as Joe Biden would say, A BIG FUCKING DEAL.

I’m not going to give you a full minute-by-minute recap, but I am going to share a few thoughts, and some pictures…

First, up did you know you get those mouse ears embroidered with your name? YOUR NAME! And if it’s your first time at the park you get a first time pin, also with your name! And, because I love Michael Jackson (and crewneck sweatshirts), after seeing his aspiring Star Wars film Captain EO I got a totally rad Captain EO sweatshirt.



I almost started crying on two rides, coincidentally the ride that kicked off the day – Star Tours (when I saw C3PO, as well as the promise of visiting Hoth and Endor I freaked out), and then the ride that closed the day, the Finding Nemo submarine adventure (because I love that movie so much it hurts).



DiTonto got a picture of me hugging a giant stuffed Winnie the Pooh, as well as a candid where I was standing on top of a picnic bench in an attempt to look at a Disney princess. She and Mama D also claimed they needed one of those leash backpacks that three-year-olds get. Because you know what? I FELT LIKE A CHILD. I DID. AND IT WAS AWESOME. I mean, it was magical. It really was.

Finally, I went on my first rollercoaster in 13 years: California Screamin’. And it went upside down! I took a picture of the picture they take when you are mid-ride, and while DiTonto’s face is covered in shadow, you can see the absolute glee on my face.



Obviously, my favorite part of this picture is the chick sitting in front of me. She looks like she is either about to vomit or murder someone. I am glad she didn’t do either.

That's So Maine

I'm on vacation. Could you tell?

I'm currently in Maine, enjoying a life without cable TV, or at the moment, hot water (seriously). It's really nice to get out of the LA bubble, and even nicer to be back in a small town, get down to your roots and whatnot.

You read that correctly, by the way - I do not have cable TV or hot water.

Fortunately the plumber is coming this afternoon to deal with the hot water issue, which is a good thing. Last night I attempted to take a cold shower, which really just felt like I was taking an ice pick to my brain.

Also, I slept for 11 hours last night. I can't even remember the last time that happened... vacation really is a beautiful thing.

Happy Holidays by the way... new posts to come next week when I am back in LA, including a best of the blog roundup and my new years resolutions, one of which is blogging more regularly (both here and for HuffPo). And again to "be professional" which hasn't worked out too well for me thus far. But hey, I'm still gainfully employed, so that's something, right?

This probably won't be my last post of 2009, but some things to look forward to in 2010 include:

• A fun crowdsourcing article-writing experiment
• I'm going to have to throw my hat in the ring with a best of the decade's TV post, (or something along those lines... I'll probably make fun of other people's posts, and then talk about why I love Bones or attempt to convince people that Twitter is THE FUTURE).
• I'll be starting a new freelancing gig that should bring about some interesting Hollywood stories, or at least some more money in my pocket
  
• I might get a hair cut
  
• After a few rewrites I'm going to start letting people read my TV pilot

But for now, I'm going to wait for the plumber.

Trying to make my "interests" interesting... (or that time I wrote a lot about myself)

I was just looking at my Facebook profile, and realized I updated my "interests" somewhat recently. Some of them are a little odd. Some are heavily connected to the TV pilot I'm working on, actually a surprising amount (and the last batch of interests also had a large influence on the script, now that I think of it). Some are really obvious and require no further explanation, but I figure why not share a little bit more about these interests... not that you care, because you probably don't, but I'm indulging my narcissistic side a little more than usual today. Pretend you find it endearing or something. Now, in no particular order...

sweet'n'sour sauce
The greatest thing McDonald's ever created. Especially good with Chicken McNuggets or French Fries. These are the only things I will ever order at McDonald's. And I always ask for extra sweet'n'sour sauce because you never know when you might be craving it, and surprisingly, it also tastes good with Morningstar Farms fake chicken nuggets.

my animal spirit god
I'm convinced I have one and maybe I've even seen it before. Maybe not. They're tricky that way.

tv on dvd
This doesn't need explanation beyond my opinion that this might be the greatest thing since sliced bread. Although I am not sure sliced bread is all that great. Sure, it's convenient... but what's the origin of this saying? Anyone? But yeah, TV shows on DVD are just really fantastic.

astronaut ice cream
This shit is crazy. Crazy delicious. (Also crazy). I love it so much it's become a major plot point in the TV pilot I am writing.

the silver lining
There's one of these in everything and I like finding it. Cheesy? Probably. But I mean it. Finding the silver lining in things has been pretty helpful in getting me through the bad stuff in life.

fig newtons
I fucking love fig newtons. Always have.

gender neutral first names
My mom's name was Palmer, it's also my middle name, and I have to say that in the years after she passed away I really considered going by Palmer. But I'm much more of an Annie. Actually I am much more of a Stamos. In general, I love gender neutral first names because they are often old-fashioned and different - and I don't know... fun. Although names like Pat suck. Perhaps I should revise this to unique gender neutral first names...

aquariums
Sometimes an aquarium can make me so happy my heart hearts. Truly. The Boston Aquarium is my favorite aquarium. There's a nostalgic component here, sure, but also... I love fishies. I think that if I had either been better at science, or more willing to work harder at it, then I would have ended up a marine biologist. And yes, I love aquariums so much that they are another major plot point in my TV pilot work-in-progress.

Maine
duh.

freedom
I love freedom. Both in the ironic and non-ironic sense. If you don't understand what I mean, you clearly love freedom as well, but only in the non-ironic sense, which is unfortunate for you.

insensitivity
This is something I excel in, at least by Hollywood standards. Thus, it is of great interest to me.

theme songs
I love theme songs - from movie themes to TV themes, to personal theme songs. Everyone should have a theme song. Mine changes on the regular.

manu chao
Probably my favorite band. In the history of music. Bold claim? Yes. But I feel strongly about this.

local ads
who doesn't love a budget local ad? Oh man, there used to be some GREAT ones growing up in Maine, many with excellent jingles about local geography.

dudes
This interest is twofold: (1) I, like most heterosexual women, like guys - so that's sort of a no-brainer and (2) I love guys who are dudes in the total dudetastic sense of being a dude - and I love hanging with dudes. Dudes are awesome. Chicks who are dudelike are also awesome.

the toaster oven
A great invention. You can accomplish so much with a toaster oven. My roommate Becca is a culinary genius with ours.

good hair days
Never underestimate the value of a good hair day. My hair, in my opinion, is one of my best features, however I am so incredibly lazy when it comes to my hair that when I've got a good hair day happening it does a whole lot for my ego. Also, my hair is so terrifying when I wake up in the morning (and this has also inspired a moment in that TV pilot), that when I actually get it calmed down, it feels like a real accomplishment. It's the little things.

I love KCRW so hard

I think one of the best things about moving to LA a little over two years ago was discovering truly fantastic public radio.

Growing up in Maine I always associated NPR with shows like "Car Talk," "All Things Considered" (gotta love that intro music) and drives home from Sugarloaf, the ski mountain we flocked to many weekends during the winter. So in other words, public radio lulled me to sleep over countless car rides from the age of 2 and on. (Yes, I learned how to ski when I was 2. What else do you think we did during Maine winters?)

However, I stopped listening to NPR on my own, in fact I never listened to the radio when I was at school at Middlebury - beyond random listens to a friend's show on the college station. I did have grand intentions of doing my own pop culture radio show with a witty friend, but that never came to fruition, and I ended up co-editor of the magazine Also instead (a sure sign I was a better writer than a talker? Maybe. Ironically, one of my favorite issues I contributed a lengthy article about Bob Dylan, music, and social movements - could have made for a great radio show, I suppose!).

Since moving to LA, however, I've rediscovered NPR. Now I associate NPR with KCRW - LA's fantastic public radio, and specifically with Jason Bentley's kickass music show "Morning Becomes Eclectic." Ever since the Indie channel here went under (boo) I pretty much stopped listening to the radio all together, but fortunately KCRW has Bentley's perfectly DJ-ed two hour show where I get to listen to some solid jams, whether I'm late to work, or streaming online once I've gotten into the office. It's the perfect way to start your morning. (Also, Jason Bentley sounds like he's hot. Something about that low, slightly monotonous voice... kind of like David Duchovny... and now I'm getting distracted...)

For those non-LAers who are interested, check it out for yourself at KRCW's website.

And don't worry, I make a point NOT to listen to NPR when driving home from ski trips nowadays. That's a recipe for disaster, no matter how interesting the the music or news topic!

Making a List, Checking it Twice

In case you missed out, my Pop Culture Christmas list is up at HuffPo.

But I know what you really want. You want my REAL Christmas list, the one I actually send to my family, because even though I am 26 years old I still write a Christmas list, every single year (I wasn't kidding when I said I value the importance of the list and its ability to help your loved ones shop at a greater ease).

So for a refresher, last year's list, and now the new one... (pulled from the family email chain).

I really don't need anything, and it's funny because this might be the first year where I seriously struggled to think of what I want/need:

But as Carla has insisted...

Here ya go (bigger stuff listed near the top):

Coachella tickets
Digital Camera
Barbour "Beaufort" coat in Olive - or whatever they are calling green (maybe Sage?)
a bike
Someone to pay off my credit card debt? (A long shot, I know)
That we go onto the AT&T family plan!!!
New headphones (with a mic) for my iPhone (I legitimately need these bc those ones that came with the phone are shitty and I've already gone through two pairs)
Up! on DVD
Save the Cat (screenwriting book)
Elephant Bucks (TV writing book)
Maybe a gray purse? I am into slouchy messenger bag types that aren't too big... or dark brown, or a bright red/orange bag?
Gift certificates to any of the following are always great: J. Crew, Madewell, Piperlime, Anthropologie, Amazon, Target, Lulu Lemon, Orvis
New Yoga mat and maybe one of those nice yoga blanket/towel things

Some thoughts:
(1) Yes, I asked for a gift card to Orvis. I'm from Maine, remember?
(2) I really, really want an excuse to not pay my cellphone bill so I figure the family plan is the best bet.
(3)The one common thing on both lists? Someone to pay my credit cart debt. How sad.
(4) Compared to last year, I'm a little less obsessed with working out, it would appear.
(5) I don't want to disclose how many digital cameras I've gone through, which is why I know that's one thing on my list I probably won't be getting...
(6) Ha. Hahaha. I "struggled." Haha. Lies.

shhhh

HI READERS!

Don't worry, I haven't forsaken you! But with a new job comes new responsibility and less time to do personal things. OBV. So blogging will be LIGHT for a bit while I adjust.

But let's see what can I share, what oh what....

Welllllll Maine was AWESOME but mostly because I ate a lot of ITALIAN SANDWHICHES. Which if you are a devoted reader (and let's get real, WHO ISN'T) you know are maybe my most favorite thing EVER. So delish. Especially if you add in the Cape Cod Sea Salt & Vinegar Chips into the sub. YUM. Not awesome? The humidity on the East Coast. I've become even more of a wimp when it comes to miserable heat. It was a nice excuse to say the word "muggy" a lot, which is not often used or understood in LA.

OK gotta get back to work. (I KNOW! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? I am doing lots of REAL work and not just tooling around on the interwebs!)