Happy Holidays to Me

Loyal Readers:

At last, the moment you’ve all been waiting for! Yes, folks, it’s not even Thanksgiving yet, but I am in the holiday spirit, and what better way to celebrate these hard economic times by taking a gander at my ridiculous Christmas list. Yes, it’s disgusting. I will make no attempt to act like I am kind and selfless and good and not at all spoiled. I will say, however, recently I've mentioned maybe an alternative to gift-giving, but my dad and stepmom protest and so I don’t even bother anymore and just send them all my hearts desires per their request.

Below, for your enjoyment, is the email chain. Chain might be an improper term here, because we will likely never see a list from my brother (and if we do it will be the day before Christmas) and my dad will not respond (it all comes back to his wallet anyway).

So below, find the Christmas list exchange between my stepmom and I, and afterwards we’ll examine my selections.

On Thu, Nov 6, 2008 at 9:08 AM, Carla Weisberg wrote:

hi you two-
to help us bring a little more cheer and a lot less disappointment to your upcoming holiday season I am looking for the coveted top ten (give or take) list from each of you.
can't promise everything of course, but last I checked, santa's a pretty nice guy.

annie you get double duty, so give us a slightly bigger list seeing it's your birthday too
and while I would love to give you a gift certificate to whole paycheck, please think festive as well

xc

On Mon, Nov 10, 2008 at 6:26 PM, Annie Stamell wrote:

You really don't have to get me anything (not like I will be able to afford buying presents), but I know you want a list anyway...

Ski trip
48 more sessions with trainer at Equinox (FYI as of Wednesday I am starting with new
person)
a few weeks of Pilates sessions with instructor at Equinox
A full session of Tennis lessons at Beverly Hills Tennis Center (www.beverlyhillstennis.com)
This jacket (Men's S, "Natural"): http://www.patagonia.com/web/us/product/product_focus.jsp?OPTION=PRODUCT_FOCUS_DISPLAY_HANDLER&catcode=MAIN_FA_US.CLOTHING_GEAR.MENS.JACKETS&style_color=23055-723&ws= or this jacket (Women's M, "Blackberry - Lupine" I don't know,
surprise me), http://www.patagonia.com/web/us/product/product_focus.jsp?OPTION=PRODUCT_FOCUS_DISPLAY_HANDLER&catcode=MAIN_FA_US.CLOTHING_GEAR.WOMENS.JACKETS&style_color=25475-769&ws=)
Gift certificate to LuluLemon (need new pants, like some of these: http://www.lululemon.com/products/womens/bottoms/pants)
Gift certificate to J. Crew, Anthropologie, Bloomingdales, or Madewell (http://www.madewell1937.com)
Gift certificate to Whole Foods
Gift certificate to iTunes
Money for a pair of cowboy boots
A leather bag that is red, orange or yellow
A black or grey clutch
Money for a monthly cleaning lady
Hanky Panky Thongs (they are one size fits all--any and all colors)
Athletic socks
Spinning shoes
Infinite Jest by
David Foster Wallace
Subscription to the New Yorker (FROM XMAS LAST YEAR, this still has not come BTW)
Gas card
Someone to pay off my AmEx and/or Chase Cards
A pay raise
Peas on Earth

JOSH PLEASE NOTE I DON'T WANT 24 this year! Don't watch it anymore... you don't have to get me anything actually... I don't have any money to get anyone anything so please feel free to reciprocate that...

Please note I really just want more sessions with the trainer at Equinox and Pilates and Tennis lessons the most.

Maybe I will think of more things. But that is all I got at the moment.

Some thoughts (I wrote this yesterday so today I’ve got some perspective, OBV):

1.) I sound quite apathetic. No, forlorn. Yes forlorn. Sadly, I have no money to buy anyone presents, so it’s really uncomfortable asking for them.
2.) I am obsessed with working out. This is true. I do love to work out, and the higher rated things on the list all relate to exercise somehow—you could even argue the Patagonia jackets and cowboy boots do.
3.) I don’t trust my family to buy me things I actually want. Hence the request for gift certificates to specific stores.
4.) I have no money for basic amenities—hence my need for groceries, gas, socks, a cleaning lady, and someone to pay off my credit cards
5.) I am a little bitter about not having received my New Yorker subscription from last year
6.) I’m funny. (See “A pay raise” or “Peas on Earth”)
7.) I don’t want my brother to buy me another season of 24 which I have clearly signaled to him in ALL CAPITAL LETTERS SO THAT WHEN HE IS QUICKLY GLANCING AT THIS EMAIL A FEW MONTHS FROM NOW HE MIGHT CATCH THAT PART.
8.) I want a very intense, very long, very deep book by an author who recently and tragically killed himself (see Infinte Jest by David Foster Wallace). I’m obviously feeling quite lighthearted this year.
9.) I really just want to exercise. That's all. Call me simple, but I guess that's what's going to keep me happy these days.

Fascinating stuff, no?