JAW WIRED SHUT HAS MOVED TO TUMBLR!!!

Hello. I've stopped blogging here at jaw wired shut because I'm lazy and tumblr is easy and wonderful. You will find a different sort of jaw wired shut over there. It's a lot like it used to be here. It's pretty much the same, actually. 

  I'm here, at http://stamos.tumblr.com


love,
stamos 



 

Maine, again. And Tumblr again.

I'm back home in Maine and couldn't be happier about it. Things are calmer here. It feels like Christmas in a way, but that's probably because we're only ever all together here over Christmas, usually. It's me, my brother, my dad and my step-mom for the weekend, then just me and my brother until Wednesday when his fiancee gets in, then I head to Boston and Cape Cod for the weekend.

In case you haven't noticed, almost all my blogging is now taking place over at my Tumblr -- even the lengthier, more personal posts (although that only started recently and I'm still not sure I want to subject my followers to that -- but I suppose everyone signs up to follow you, just as you've signed up to follow this blog, right? Right.)

Anyway. I think for now you can plan on posts over here stopping for a while. Indefinitely, I guess. This makes me somewhat sad because I really do credit my entire writing career to this blog, but rather than think of my Tumblr as a separate blog I'm going to think of it as merely the evolution of this blog. Of course I may at some point get all these posts archived on the Tumblr or move them over there or however that works, somehow, if that's even possible. But until then, I'd recommend changing your Jaw Wired Shut bookmark to the http://stamos.tumblr.com/ URL instead! See you on Tumblr, my friends.

Do you hate how this blog looks? Do you want to redesign it? YOU CAN!

HI FRIENDS! I am doing a very exciting contest to find an awesome web designer to help me redesign this blog. You can read all about it here.

Please share that link with anyone you think might be interested! Let's make this experiment a successful one!

FIVE YEARS

I just realized I have had this blog for FIVE YEARS.

Holy shit. I have a diary of the past five years. That's heavy. I'm excited!

Hey I still hate Katherine Heigl so that says something about my consistency, I guess.

Is this like Weight Watchers or Alcoholics Anonymous and do I get a "Five Year Blogger" chip? I like incentives.

Hello Blog

Hello Beloved Blog that I've so cruelly neglected, how are you? Let's become friends again. I know I've left you for Tumblr but it's all just so very convenient over there...

Did I really only blog once last month? What's happened to me? How do I get my mojo back?

The Most Important Excel Spreadsheet Ever: Fall TV 2011

Hey guys! If you've found my blog from my Tumblr, my Twitter or my most recent HelloGiggles Open Letter (to Fall TV, duh) then you know what this is about... oh yeah and that subject heading up top probably tipped you off...

So if you click here you should be able to see and download my color coded Fall TV 2011 spreadsheet! It's nothing super fancy but it's got all the network shows on it and you'll get a glimpse of what shows I'm going to be watching this Fall!

Some things to remember -- I simply don't have time to watch everything and even though it looks like I do, I don't. So please don't give me a hard time if I'm not watching or recording a certain show. That being said, I love to talk about TV and tell you about it and well, being that I currently WORK on a TV show (coughcough watch The Finder when it premieres in January coughcough) you should totally feel free to chat with me about TV shows whenever you want. 

I've been blogging here, predominantly about TV, for the past four years, and although a lot of my online work is now delegated to Tumblr, Huffington Post or HelloGiggles, I still do check in here on occasion with stories about the behind-the-scenes day-to-day of the television industry and also when I want to freak out over something. Also did you guys watch Up All Night? Second time watching the pilot and I loved, loved, LOVED! Thank goodness Will Arnett is finally on a show that seems to have a real chance of sticking around!

YAY! TV! Oh and in case that link didn't work for you, here's the spreadsheet again:

Tumblr vs. Blogger

So I had all these grand plans that the Tumblr was going to be just my lazy man's blog for when I have quick stuff on the go and want to reblog other people etc, and then THIS here Jaw Wired Shut would remain for personal anecdote/TV talk but I've clearly been slacking in the latter and have been all up on the former.

But my INTENTION is to be better. But this is really just another reminder for you that while I am not posting on the reg here (at the moment, this won't last forever, I promise) I am much better at my tumblr:  http://stamos.tumblr.com/

But hold a moment because I've got some stories on the way... HERE. I AM BLOGGING ABOUT THEM HERE! I PROMISE!

Oh yeah. This blog.

I realized just now I've been MIA on Jaw Wired Shut since I wrote about my new jobby. SORRY YOU GUYS. THE FOUR OF YOU WHO CARE.

You should know that when I am not here I am just blowing shit up on Tumblr and Twitter and if I had access to real fireworks I would blow up so much real shit it's not even funny.

Oh and yeah you get the whole "new job so I'm busy as bonkers" thing, right?

I'm still in the process of figuring out how I am going to move/combine all my stuff or what purpose JWS is going to serve from heretoforehenceforth (like just TV stuff? Just stuff about ME? The random shit I post is kinda more up on Tumblr now... ugh it's SO HARD being a 21st Century Interwebby Girl you know? Just kidding someone punch me for saying that) and for you regular readers I do care about what you like to read here. SO TELL ME, DAMMIT! (For realz, leave a comment and tell me what you want more of/less of or if you, like me, have also hopped aboard the Tumblr train).

P.S. My goodbye letter from Le Old Job is up here.

and then!

I don't know if I've mentioned it here but I'm going to be doing weekly posts for the totally darling new website HelloGiggles. You can check out all my work at my author bio/archive.

While I travel I definitely won't be blogging on the go, but I'll probably pop in at my tumblr or Twitter from time to time.

Happy College to ME!!!!!!!!

Social Media Stuff

I'm still grappling with streamlining/combining my Tumblr and my blog - but in the meantime I'm definitely a little more active on the Tumblr, if only that it's the easiest blogging service to use, like, ever. It's like blogging for lazy people. 

Today I've been engaging in a lot of talk about social media - from the role of social media in the Osama Bin Laden raid to the effective ways to build social media fan communities for TV shows. Be sure to check it out over at http://stamos.tumblr.com/.

What Exactly is a 'Social Media Expert?'

Oftentimes when I'm talking to brands or individuals, or even just my co-workers in TV development, I'll start to wax poetic about being a 'Social Media Expert.' In fact, if you were to ask me what my dream job was, if it weren't writing TV shows and/or features, it'd be acting as the Social Media Expert at a TV network. 

But what does that entail? What exactly is a Social Media Expert? I always tell people that it's an intense, round-the-clock gig, and there's no better way to explain it than with this infographic (click to enlarge):

Source: The Daily Infographic

CulturePOP

Have I mentioned the new website I'm writing for? (Apologies again for that pesky short term memory if I have). I am going to assume no... so yay, I am writing for CulturePop.com which is all about "Ingredients for an Artful Life" or as I like to call it "A publication besides The Huffington Post that my family can be proud I write for."

I've done a batch of "Picks" pieces for them - but my most FAVORITE posted today - "Some of Our Favorite 80s Inspired Things." Not only did I get to plug my favorite hot pink lipstick but I got to share my love for the new Cut Copy album again.

Make sure you guys check out the post - and better yet, - subscribe to CulturePOP's regular newsletters!

What did we do before the Internet and Cat Videos?

No seriously? Sometimes I wonder how I lived so long without having access to videos like this:

Backwash (the show, not the stuff)

So remember how I sometimes write for other websites? Well here's my latest column at Digiday Daily, which I think is better than usual, and you should totally read and comment on. Or I'll just repost it here.

Crackle.com has launched its new webseries Backwash, and thanks to regular cameos from high-profile stars ranging from Jon Hamm to Sarah Silverman to John Stamos, along with clever writing and a fun concept, it’s likely we’re looking at the platform’s newest hit.

Joshua Malina is well known on the small screen thanks to his regular roles on past TV successes Sports Night and The West Wing. More recently he’s been popping up in guest starring appearances on various broadcast shows like Bones and Grey’s Anatomy. However he’s no longer the staple TV presence he once was. It’s no doubt Malina is a comedic talent (although most of his TV work happens to be in dramas), and anyone who’s been following his Twitter feed over the past year would likely agree. I’d go so far as to venture that he’s one of the most entertaining comedians on Twitter now – proving that in addition to his acting, he’s got writing chops as well – at least when it comes to bursts of 140 character creativity.

You're totally into it right? Okay keep reading!

Now we get to see the full extent of Malina’s talents as a writer, as he has turned to the even-smaller-screen for his newest venture – a webseries he wrote, produced, and stars in for Crackle.com. Backwash is a delightful and zany comedy that really showcases Malina’s writing talent for the first time in an extended format – a savvy business move for an actor trying to make a bigger splash in the writing world. As is often the case, the web is an excellent showcase for fresh talent, or as an area to experiment with new ideas. Web content can often play by different rules than that of TV, so it’s truly an excellent platform for Malina’s show and for Malina himself to take risks he might not have been able to do elsewhere.

But before we analyze the new show and its implications for branded content, first we must ask, what is Backwash? (Other than, you know, the gross stuff at the end of a drink). As Malina explained on his blog for Crackle back in March, “loosely put, it's the story of three eccentric losers and the mayhem that ensues after they inadvertently rob a bank armed only with a salami in a sweat-sock.” Better yet, check out the first episode of Backwash, titled “Val and Jonesy”.

As the first episode reveals, the comedy of Backwash is smart, quirky, and self-referential – making it perfectly suited for the web. Considering Malina has been developing the project for several years, it’s nice to see the series finally has a suitable home.

One of the highlights of the show is that each episode promises a new host, all of them recognizable names. Personally, I loved Hank Azaria in episode two, and his delivery of the line “Yes, I lost a bet” (you’ll just have to watch it to see what I mean) and I’m especially looking forward to John Stamos pop up on a future episode wearing a mullet wig reminiscent of his days on Full House. Interestingly, this sort of string of A-list talent is something that on a normal TV show might be considered stunt casting, but with a web series it only bolsters the show’s appeal. This has been especially evident with the series’ marketing campaign and overall launch. Similar to a movie, Backwash had a full scale Hollywood red-carpet premiere and it’s been regularly showcase on various news outlets – those that are both web specific, but also sites that usually don’t cover branded online content. Clearly Crackle is taking advantage of Malina (and his co-stars) more mainstream appeal.

Backwash is poised to be Crackle’s newest success story – assuming that page views maintain throughout the course of the series. This could have some interesting implications for the future of web content – first of all, similar to the transition many film actors made from features to television shows, don’t be surprised if we see more and more recognizable names writing, producing and starring in shows for the online space. It’s certainly been the trend with web content over the past few years – however Backwash really strikes me as one of the first times a web series launch has been given nearly as much focus as that of say, a cable television show. 

What I’m most curious to see is whether or not Backwash, like many other web series of its ilk, attempts to make the leap from the very small screen of the internet to the slightly larger screen of our TVs. (Which would be an ironic end to the show’s lengthy development process, especially as Malina reconceived the content for the web specifically after it was suggested he steer away from television). Of course that depends on the level of success and the producers’ intentions – personally I’d love to see Backwash remain as a web series, as this would only offer further evidence as to why the web is such a great place for content creators to test the waters and try unconventional methods of production to deliver high-quality original programming.

Best New Website Ever (of the day)

Things 90s Kids Realize.

If you were born in the 80s but spent the majority of your childhood in the 90s then holy shit this website will fill you with a strange mix of glee and heart-wrenching nostalgia for simpler times involving Carmen San Diego, Nickelodeon game shows, The Magic School Bus, Goldeneye, and even Fruit Stripe.  Enjoy!

No Cable? No Problem!

Okay, I realize I am supposed to, like, support cable TV and stuff, because it's my job and pays my bills and what not, but also - I'm a web addict and a victim of Gen Y (aka I am Gen Y) so I want to watch TV WHEN I WANT TO. Essentially, I want what I want and I want it NOW.

So for those of you out there who feel my deep pain, or lack a cable subscription. Here are my three favorite places to watch TV online (and while the bottom two may or may not be entirely legal - they're ad-free!):

Clicker.com
Sidereel.com
Fastpasstv.com

My First Internet Feud!

Have I finally made it? Because I've unwillingly engaged in an internet feud - oh what fun this is... actually, it's pretty weird, and all stemming from a piece I wrote the other day about the television show Private Practice.

Who knew people would feel so passionate about Private Practice? Actually - it's more like one person has a serious vendetta, considering a commenter on my last Huffington Post piece "Please Cancel Private Practice. Seriously." is accusing me of cultural fascism, among other things (on a side note - cultural fascism? That gave me a good laugh. My roommates are considering making t-shirts). Oh and someone on Twitter told me I both "suck" and am "stupid." To "chocolotema19" I say: thanks and many happy returns!

I've compiled a few choice quotes from this commenter below, who it would appear is also a blogger for the site, and writes under the moniker Tallulah Morehead. I've also included my own response. Or just check it all out for yourself here.


This Tallulah character:

Now I have no argument with your assertion that PRIVATE PRACTICE is not a good show. I watched the pilot and never tuned in again. Frankly, after three seasons of Grey's Anatomy, I realized that I had no interest however remote in ANY further knowledge of these characters, and never tuned in again to that either.

But I fail to see whay you should call for a cancellation of a show you admit you don't watch. Does someone come to your house with a gun and FORCE you to look at it? Don't the people who LIKe the show (I assume someone is wacthing it, or it wouldn't stay on the air) have any rights? Where is it written that "If Annie Stamell hates a show it MUST BE CANCELLED!" How does it staying on the air discomfort YOU?

You don't like it, as I don't, then don't watch it, but quit yelling to have something banned or cancelled because you personally don't like it. Other people, yes, people who aren't you, have rights too, and frankly, calling for the cancellation of a popular show just because YOU PERSONALLY don't like it is cultural Fascism.

Get a life, lady.

And then this:

Let me add, since I still find this article offensive, it says in your profile that you work in television. How would you like it if jerks like yuou posted articles stating you should be thrown out of work and become unemployed because THE JERK doeesn't like your show?

Doesn't your TV have a channel-changer or an "Off" button?

Don't like it? Don't watch it.

And my response:

I'm sorry you found the article offensive as that wasn't my intention - and while I appreciate your comments, please note that much of the tone of this article was in jest. I had hoped readers would recognize the sarcasm... though admittedly sarcasm is not always an easy tone to convey. It looks as though it evaded you, and some of the other readers, here. That's a shame.

Isn't one benefits of the blog at The Huffington Post that we can share opinions? I'm not speaking for anyone besides myself, and I am entitled to my opinion of the show, and as a pop culture writer and "student of television" I'm sharing that opinion in a public forum.

However, as someone who works in TV (yes, it's true) - this post was prompted by my own observations of the television-making process. I see so many excellent shows come and go that are never given a shot to make it to the air, much less a pilot script - so sometimes it would be nice to see a lesser show come to an end, so a better one could take it's spot. I'm advocating for quality content, not job loss. But then again, Private Practice certainly has a big audience who continues to tune in, so good for them, and good for all the hard-working people who contribute to the show.

Again, all this is merely my opinion - not attempting to enforce my beliefs on anyone, and while I found your cry of cultural fascism quite entertaining, I find that statement and your notion that these are "Nazi tactics" both far-fetched and exaggerated - it's simply a public plea, an outright statement - take it or leave it... no sweat off your back either way...

Ultimately, I find it unfortunate you've devoted so much time to expressing your anger over my post. It looks like it's been exhausting. Try taking things a little less seriously and see where that gets you. Maybe then a silly post about a girl-crush on Kate Walsh and disdain for a TV show won't cause you so much emotional distress. Best of luck.

Well, what do you think? She makes some valid points - I mean no one is forcing me to watch the show, and I could simply change the channel, but doesn't this all seem a bit excessive? And is it really difficult to get the joke here? The absurdity of it all? And shit, when did I get so zen about everything?

Please weigh in below - would love to know what my Jaw Wired Shut readers think. And if you feel like defending my honor at HuffPo - well, go right ahead!

I Want this Cat. Now.

His name is Rocky.



If he were my cat, I would dress him in a three piece suit and at the suggestion of my friend Tommy, give him a monocle, a top hat, and perhaps also a tobacco pipe. And we would be the best of friends travelling the countryside looking for windows to stare out of.

Thank you, Internet. Thank you.

My New Theme Song

(Obviously).



And look at that - it's a commercial for Grasshopper. BRILLIANT.

Chatroulette, meet LOST