Halloween!

Okay you guys. Based on what you know of me - whether or not you are one of my best childhood friends and know everything about me... or you just have an opinion formed completely on your perception of the posts in this here blog - what the hell should I be for Halloween?

I refuse to do any of that "Slutty Nurse" bullshit. That's just an excuse to dress like a slut. If you want to dress like a slut, dress like a slut, and then tell people you are a slut. Profound, right? Needlepoint that shit.

80s Ski Suit

Anyhoo - I've been toying with ideas ranging from - a little kid, an old lady who lives in Florida and spends too much time on the beach, Rocky, a zombie, a Lobsterman, an 80s skiier (please note I end up dressing like an 80s athlete just about every year so I'm probably going to end up in a once piece ski suit at one point regardless of what I choose), a lobster, Punky Brewster, or.... yeah that's where I run out of ideas.  All I know is I want to be comfortable. I mean, unlike most girls, I view Halloween as the one time of the year I get to wear sweatpants out to a bar.


So, what should I be? Any and all suggestions are welcome.

Woe Is Me

Ugh.

I just read this depressing/sarcastic article on Gawker about how kids today graduating from journalism school have miserable chances at getting jobs (I am too depressed to link to the specific article. Do some sleuthing). Apparently, the chances of being a sports reporter are about the same as being a pro athlete. Hah. Hah.

Seeing as I harbor lofty dreams of being a star reporter/writer capturing all things pop culture/TV/nerd (because I'm so original<--note sarcasm) I find the recession to be mostly upsetting for trampling on my silly Gen Y dreams. They should have told me when I was growing up that no, the world is not my oyster, and there was a decent chance that I wouldn't graduate into a hedonistic free-for-all where promotions come every six months. Yes, for some reason I was under the impression that the post-college years would be great--like college but maybe less responsibility (no homework) and more money (at least, self-made money).

Well, to whoever "they" are--thanks for nothing. Actually, I am pretty sure countless adults warned me of such likely post-grad sentiments (my family included), but I of course refused to believe any such nonsense. And here I am, idly dreaming of capturing award-winning creative content on the most frequented websites in website history... but to no avail.

I bet you feel pretty bad for me. You read my constant complaint-laden posts and think, "Poor Stamos, times are tough for her. Getting sunburnt in March. Living by the beach. Fear of Earthquakes. Existential crises around the clock. What can I do to help her?" Well, let me tell you how YOU can help me. (Because in these hard economic times I am the prime candidate for help<--again, please note sarcasm and attempt at sincere ironic self-deprecation).

1) Start commenting on my posts. Seriously. I want feedback! And ideas. I've been at this for well over a year and am starting to lose creative juice, and I imagine you get sick at my self-centered weekend recap posts (or maybe not, but tell me!). If you want me to write about something, leave a comment, or email me.
2) Tell your friends to read my blog. Spread the word. I really want to increase readership, and if I have a good sense that I am writing about things that other people might be interested in reading about, well then it is a win-win for all of us, no?
3) Follow me on Twitter. I know that seems like a disconnect, but I truly believe Twitter is an incredible tool for writers, both the amateur, aspiring and professionally inclined--and I count myself somewhere between the first two categories. Follow me here: http://twitter.com/stamos.
4) If you or anyone you know is looking for a writer or anyone who would gladly offer up an opinion on short notice--well that's me. Sure, my posts might often be filled with grammatical errors and nonsensical ramblings, but you'd be amazed at the speed I can pop this shit out on short notice.

Okay, that's enough relentless self-promotion for today. I'm going to mope for a little while, stalk some people on Facebook, do some work, then daydream about my fabulous future life as a travel writer... all thanks to your help.

Dress to Stress

I forgot how to get dressed for work.

Now this probably won’t come as any surprise, seeing as I post frequently about my constant fashion faux-pas that are always work-outfit-related. Well this morning I legitimately took an hour trying and re-trying out different outfits, never satisfied and always feeling like I just look plain ridiculous.

What’s my problem?

Part of it is the weather. Just as I forgot how to dress to go out in Portland, Maine snow and ice, I have forgotten the winter attire of Southern California. My outfit today is representative of my confusion—a gray turtleneck sweater dress, belted with a thin gold braided belt, and patent leather nude round-toed pumps (J. Crew, bien sur). I am not wearing tights. Now, I would probably normally wear this dress with tights, maybe boots too and maybe sans belt. But this morning I was so confused/perplexed that I thought this might work?

The other part is because I didn’t get any new clothes for Christmas (just 15 pounds of shoes) and usually after a holiday break I’ve got enough new clothes to sustain me for a few days of fun outfits—which gets me back in the game. But now I am in this mess where I forgot how to turn my old clothes into viable work outfits.

As I so often say: I confused.

(And the lack of verb is intentional—really better to express the dire confusion).