+I saw Inception last night. You must see it. Then you must read my friend Adam's brilliantly written interpretation of the film. Then you must talk to me about it. Seriously.
+Another film you must see is The Kids Are All Right. God it's nice being able to recommend movies again - I feel like it's just been a whole lot of crappy franchise movies in theaters recently.
+Now streaming: Amanda Palmer Performs The Popular Hits Of Radiohead On Her Magical Ukulele - beautiful and a must for any Radiohead fan.
+In other music news: if you're in LA this week, check out Jesse Woods at Spaceland tomorrow, Wednesday, July 21st. He's a Texas native building a pretty big following and is touring with another relatively well know Texas indie favourite called Sunset. The tour is also in support of Jesse's new EP "Moon Rocks." Check out Jesse here.
+In TV: Things have been somewhat quieter in the TV world right now, with it being summer and all. I just caught up on the show Parenthood, which I'd abandoned this past Spring after about three episodes. So glad I gave it another shot, and I recommend you do too - the entire first season is streaming at Hulu.
Showing posts with label lists. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lists. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Bullet Points
Despite what you may have heard, I have not been in hiding since the disappointing Celtics loss in the NBA finals last Thursday. The days just seem to get away from me so here are a few bullet points as to what's going on...
+Yep, I lost that Celtics-Lakers bet, which means I need Twitter followers to start responding to me or Marisa with what show they think I must suffer through. And we're getting a lunch date on the books so I can endure the pain that will be donning Laker gear for a picture.
+KCRW's recurring series World Music Night at The Hollywood Bowl kicked off this past Sunday, and I was one of the lucky attendees. I went mostly for Brooklyn band Yeasayer, but I'm a huge fan of Tinariwen and Baba Maal as well - yes, folks, I love World Music, and if you've been following this blog you know this is nothing new.
+Yesterday I opened my mailbox to find a letter I had written to myself in April 2001. It was pretty crazy reading something from 9 years ago - and I had to laugh at my sweet worldly intentions - see I wrote it during the second day of a three day solo during a semester I spent in high school living on a farm in Maine (seriously). So it was hardly surprising that one of the items of advice I gave myself was "listen to birdsongs. You know them." Seriously. Truth is - I actually did know them; I spent that semester taking ornithology classes!
+Two weeks ago I went to the book party for the new Bret Easton Ellis novel, Imperial Bedrooms, the much-anticipated sequel to his well-known classic Less Than Zero. The party was exactly what you might expect - at a lovely suite in LA's famed hotel The Chateau Marmont, and I swear to God the DJ just took the soundtrack from American Psycho and pressed play. Celebrity spottings included Rose McGowan and Shannyn Sossamon, and then there was the general crowd of attractive-people-who-look-familiar so maybe there were more.
+I took a pause on writing up recaps of The Hills for The Huffington Post because that show is just so bad. I briefly considered writing them for The Bachelorette, but that show is way too long for me to be interested in recapping. I mean I'm all for making fun of crappy TV, but those 22 minutes on MTV are a lot easier to handle than two hours of awkward dates.
+I've been watching more TV pilots - including the much-buzzed about Lone Star, airing on FOX this fall - definitely a show to check out. The lead actor, James Wolk, is a sort of cross between George Clooney and Kyle Chandler.
+Two bands I've gotten into recently are Grum and Four Tet - check them out.
Happy Summer, by the way! Hopefully regular blogging will resume now that I've emerged from whatever fog my head's been in.
+Yep, I lost that Celtics-Lakers bet, which means I need Twitter followers to start responding to me or Marisa with what show they think I must suffer through. And we're getting a lunch date on the books so I can endure the pain that will be donning Laker gear for a picture.
+KCRW's recurring series World Music Night at The Hollywood Bowl kicked off this past Sunday, and I was one of the lucky attendees. I went mostly for Brooklyn band Yeasayer, but I'm a huge fan of Tinariwen and Baba Maal as well - yes, folks, I love World Music, and if you've been following this blog you know this is nothing new.
+Yesterday I opened my mailbox to find a letter I had written to myself in April 2001. It was pretty crazy reading something from 9 years ago - and I had to laugh at my sweet worldly intentions - see I wrote it during the second day of a three day solo during a semester I spent in high school living on a farm in Maine (seriously). So it was hardly surprising that one of the items of advice I gave myself was "listen to birdsongs. You know them." Seriously. Truth is - I actually did know them; I spent that semester taking ornithology classes!
+Two weeks ago I went to the book party for the new Bret Easton Ellis novel, Imperial Bedrooms, the much-anticipated sequel to his well-known classic Less Than Zero. The party was exactly what you might expect - at a lovely suite in LA's famed hotel The Chateau Marmont, and I swear to God the DJ just took the soundtrack from American Psycho and pressed play. Celebrity spottings included Rose McGowan and Shannyn Sossamon, and then there was the general crowd of attractive-people-who-look-familiar so maybe there were more.
+I took a pause on writing up recaps of The Hills for The Huffington Post because that show is just so bad. I briefly considered writing them for The Bachelorette, but that show is way too long for me to be interested in recapping. I mean I'm all for making fun of crappy TV, but those 22 minutes on MTV are a lot easier to handle than two hours of awkward dates.
+I've been watching more TV pilots - including the much-buzzed about Lone Star, airing on FOX this fall - definitely a show to check out. The lead actor, James Wolk, is a sort of cross between George Clooney and Kyle Chandler.
+Two bands I've gotten into recently are Grum and Four Tet - check them out.
Happy Summer, by the way! Hopefully regular blogging will resume now that I've emerged from whatever fog my head's been in.
Tuesday, June 01, 2010
What Makes Some Pilots More “Pick-up-able”
While using Twitter to troll for writing ideas – I mean crowdsourcing – someone suggested I do a little write-up explaining why some pilots get picked up while others don’t (to series, that is – I am not even going to tackle the pilot pick-up in the script stage). First of all, as a measly studio development assistant, I probably only have a very limited understanding of this. Add to that any “cred” I bring as a TV blogger (do I say writer? That makes me sound like I write TV, which, sure I do, but not in any professional capacity just yet) as well as my previous experience as a “trend forecaster” (where my job literally was to predict what shows were going to be hits, even though I was right maybe only 50% of the time, if that), then okay, sure, maybe I’ve got enough background to give me some sort of authority to speak on the matter, but before we get into this I feel I must emphasize that these are my thoughts/opinions and mine alone.
Okay now that I vomited out that paragraph with all the inarticulate wording I can muster, let’s move on to the interesting part of this, where I will ponder why some pilots are picked up and others are not, (and as I so love to do, in list form!):
What Makes Some Pilots More “Pick-up-able” --
Thank you, by the way, to my Twitter follower "augustbenassi" for both the post request and for using "pick-up-able" in a sentence.
1. I have no idea. Really I don’t. I spent the weekend watching a lot of the pilots that were picked up and I have seen a handful of those that weren’t. Sometimes it’s hard to figure out why one and not the other after a first viewing. I will use the rest of this list to make a few guesses as to why, but keep this very important point in mind. I will come back to it.
2. Quality. Shocker right? Sometimes a pilot will get picked up over another one because it is better. Simple. That may not always seem like the case, but I do think that there is a degree to which all creative executives, even the ones at the network, ultimately care about quality programming. For example, I recently watched the ABC pilot “Freshmen” which has all the makings of a great show – Sarah Chalke (Scrubs) stars, some big name producers are attached (Greg Malins and HuffPo’s very own Ariana Huffington), and the setting seems like something Americans would love (three freshmen Congress members living together in an apartment in DC! Hijinks ensue!) – however, the pilot was not very good. ABC did not pick up the pilot to series, which was a great decision – especially after seeing the much higher quality of some of the other shows the network picked up, like No Ordinary Family or My Generation (both already on my fall watch-list).
3. Auspices. Sometimes all it takes is a high-brow writer/producer/director/actor to give the pilot the momentum it needs for the pick-up. Think anything J.J. Abrams has put his name on. Interestingly enough, this year I can immediately think of two pilots with big names behind them that were not picked up – Ben Stiller’s “The Station” and “Pleading Guilty” from Chernin Entertainment and high-brow auspices such as director Jon Avnet and Executive Producer Hart Hanson, not to mention John Laroquette (NIGHT COURT!). Yet neither of these were picked up (interestingly, both were at Fox). Okay, so maybe I’ve already canceled out this point in citing two shows that were not picked-up despite auspices (and already I am remembering more), but for certain networks the auspices behind the show play a very big role. And while this mindset is perhaps starting to shift, I will again say: think J.J. Abrams.
4. Network branding. In case you weren’t aware, the networks all have a specific “brand” or “image.” You can very often watch a show or read a script and think, oh “character-driven legal drama feels perfect for ABC,” or, “if this show had more of a procedural bent perhaps CBS would be interested.” If a show feels like it is on-brand, yet brings something fresh then its chances of a series pick-up increase. Of course, there are always the random shows that seem out of place with a network’s brand. In my opinion, Nikita seems like an odd fit for The CW (it’s actually good – and it’s not all about surly teenagers having sex and doing drugs and shopping and becoming vampires), and would perhaps be better suited for ABC or Fox. Speaking of, I’ve heard from many that while Lone Star has a great pilot and all the makings of a great show, Fox maybe isn’t the best home for the series. And don’t even get me started on NBC because I am pretty sure they don’t even know what their brand is right now.
5. Money-making potential. Duh. I mean, this is a no-brainer. Every pilot has the possibility to be a network’s next CSI, or Grey’s Anatomy, or any other show that’s been a roaring success, spawning spin-offs, DVD sales, and sweet syndication deals (syndication is the real money maker in this biz, keep that in mind as you find yourself four hours deep into that Law & Order marathon on TNT). These pilots are all tested, researched and discussed so that when making decisions, the network execs have all the info they need to choose a show that has the potential to be their next cash-cow – which also means finding shows that ad buyers like (hence why upfronts are so important).
So there you have it, five reasons as to why I think some pilots get picked up while others do not. Yes, "I don't know" is a reason. See, before I leave you with this less-than-clarifying list, think again about my first point. Because honestly, it’s a crapshoot. Sure there are formulas to follow, but you truly never know. It’s kind of like getting into college. Just kind of. Because instead of spending the next four years surrounded by other like-minded individuals who want to both work and party hard with the occasional one-night stand or political debate thrown in, once your show gets picked-up it’s a whole new ballgame, with writers to hire and stories to break and people to please… and it all sounds exhausting actually. But don't worry there are parties in TV land too. You just won't be invited. Unless that pilot gets picked up. Or you know someone who knows someone. Or something. I wouldn't know.
Okay now that I vomited out that paragraph with all the inarticulate wording I can muster, let’s move on to the interesting part of this, where I will ponder why some pilots are picked up and others are not, (and as I so love to do, in list form!):
What Makes Some Pilots More “Pick-up-able” --
Thank you, by the way, to my Twitter follower "augustbenassi" for both the post request and for using "pick-up-able" in a sentence.
1. I have no idea. Really I don’t. I spent the weekend watching a lot of the pilots that were picked up and I have seen a handful of those that weren’t. Sometimes it’s hard to figure out why one and not the other after a first viewing. I will use the rest of this list to make a few guesses as to why, but keep this very important point in mind. I will come back to it.
2. Quality. Shocker right? Sometimes a pilot will get picked up over another one because it is better. Simple. That may not always seem like the case, but I do think that there is a degree to which all creative executives, even the ones at the network, ultimately care about quality programming. For example, I recently watched the ABC pilot “Freshmen” which has all the makings of a great show – Sarah Chalke (Scrubs) stars, some big name producers are attached (Greg Malins and HuffPo’s very own Ariana Huffington), and the setting seems like something Americans would love (three freshmen Congress members living together in an apartment in DC! Hijinks ensue!) – however, the pilot was not very good. ABC did not pick up the pilot to series, which was a great decision – especially after seeing the much higher quality of some of the other shows the network picked up, like No Ordinary Family or My Generation (both already on my fall watch-list).
3. Auspices. Sometimes all it takes is a high-brow writer/producer/director/actor to give the pilot the momentum it needs for the pick-up. Think anything J.J. Abrams has put his name on. Interestingly enough, this year I can immediately think of two pilots with big names behind them that were not picked up – Ben Stiller’s “The Station” and “Pleading Guilty” from Chernin Entertainment and high-brow auspices such as director Jon Avnet and Executive Producer Hart Hanson, not to mention John Laroquette (NIGHT COURT!). Yet neither of these were picked up (interestingly, both were at Fox). Okay, so maybe I’ve already canceled out this point in citing two shows that were not picked-up despite auspices (and already I am remembering more), but for certain networks the auspices behind the show play a very big role. And while this mindset is perhaps starting to shift, I will again say: think J.J. Abrams.
4. Network branding. In case you weren’t aware, the networks all have a specific “brand” or “image.” You can very often watch a show or read a script and think, oh “character-driven legal drama feels perfect for ABC,” or, “if this show had more of a procedural bent perhaps CBS would be interested.” If a show feels like it is on-brand, yet brings something fresh then its chances of a series pick-up increase. Of course, there are always the random shows that seem out of place with a network’s brand. In my opinion, Nikita seems like an odd fit for The CW (it’s actually good – and it’s not all about surly teenagers having sex and doing drugs and shopping and becoming vampires), and would perhaps be better suited for ABC or Fox. Speaking of, I’ve heard from many that while Lone Star has a great pilot and all the makings of a great show, Fox maybe isn’t the best home for the series. And don’t even get me started on NBC because I am pretty sure they don’t even know what their brand is right now.
5. Money-making potential. Duh. I mean, this is a no-brainer. Every pilot has the possibility to be a network’s next CSI, or Grey’s Anatomy, or any other show that’s been a roaring success, spawning spin-offs, DVD sales, and sweet syndication deals (syndication is the real money maker in this biz, keep that in mind as you find yourself four hours deep into that Law & Order marathon on TNT). These pilots are all tested, researched and discussed so that when making decisions, the network execs have all the info they need to choose a show that has the potential to be their next cash-cow – which also means finding shows that ad buyers like (hence why upfronts are so important).
So there you have it, five reasons as to why I think some pilots get picked up while others do not. Yes, "I don't know" is a reason. See, before I leave you with this less-than-clarifying list, think again about my first point. Because honestly, it’s a crapshoot. Sure there are formulas to follow, but you truly never know. It’s kind of like getting into college. Just kind of. Because instead of spending the next four years surrounded by other like-minded individuals who want to both work and party hard with the occasional one-night stand or political debate thrown in, once your show gets picked-up it’s a whole new ballgame, with writers to hire and stories to break and people to please… and it all sounds exhausting actually. But don't worry there are parties in TV land too. You just won't be invited. Unless that pilot gets picked up. Or you know someone who knows someone. Or something. I wouldn't know.
Friday, April 02, 2010
Friday TV Roundup
Last night marked new episodes of many popular TV shows - The Vampire Diaires, Supernatural, Bones, Fringe, among others. I spent the night catching up on a lot of TV from the entire week. Some thoughts below:
1) This week's episode of Modern Family - well, yeah. I am Phil Dunphy. That whole thing about "next week" being the worst thing you could say to an early adopter - that's me. I so relate. Also - good work Apple, now I really want an iPad.
2) Loved this week's Cougartown so much I put a "keep" next to it on my DVR. I know, I know - you're thinking, really? Cougartown? And yes, I've been able to clear my living room just by announcing that's the next show I plan to watch on an average weeknight, but seriously, give it a shot. It consistently provides the laughs.
3) Justified is amazing. Timothy Olyphant just usurped Seth Meyers' spot on my list of "Celebrity I Most Want to Have Sex With." That is all.
4) Last but not least, Bones returned to our television screens last night. I enjoyed the episode, but it wasn't until the promo for next week's that I was reminded how excited I am to watch again. It's the much-anticipated 100th episode I saw a few weeks ago, but next week I'll watch it with my roommates - which will likely be a fun experience. I especially can't wait to see their reactions to certain scenes. I think this episode might rank as the show's best - even if my response crossed a wide spread of emotions, the final being shock.
5). More importantly, who would win in a showdown between Justified's Deputy U.S. Marshal Raylan Givens and Bones' Special Agent Seeley Booth?( My guess? Givens. It's the cowboy hat).
The weekend has started at my house, so I don't envision much TV watching to happen again until Sunday night.
Until then!
1) This week's episode of Modern Family - well, yeah. I am Phil Dunphy. That whole thing about "next week" being the worst thing you could say to an early adopter - that's me. I so relate. Also - good work Apple, now I really want an iPad.
2) Loved this week's Cougartown so much I put a "keep" next to it on my DVR. I know, I know - you're thinking, really? Cougartown? And yes, I've been able to clear my living room just by announcing that's the next show I plan to watch on an average weeknight, but seriously, give it a shot. It consistently provides the laughs.
3) Justified is amazing. Timothy Olyphant just usurped Seth Meyers' spot on my list of "Celebrity I Most Want to Have Sex With." That is all.
4) Last but not least, Bones returned to our television screens last night. I enjoyed the episode, but it wasn't until the promo for next week's that I was reminded how excited I am to watch again. It's the much-anticipated 100th episode I saw a few weeks ago, but next week I'll watch it with my roommates - which will likely be a fun experience. I especially can't wait to see their reactions to certain scenes. I think this episode might rank as the show's best - even if my response crossed a wide spread of emotions, the final being shock.
5). More importantly, who would win in a showdown between Justified's Deputy U.S. Marshal Raylan Givens and Bones' Special Agent Seeley Booth?( My guess? Givens. It's the cowboy hat).
The weekend has started at my house, so I don't envision much TV watching to happen again until Sunday night.
Until then!
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
"Everything you need to know is in my dancing."
Some thoughts:
1) So glad Moose is back (if you don't know to whom I am referring, you are obviously not a Step Up fan and should go educate yourself immediately).
2) I want to live in a house with dancers. Live together, dance together, battle together? Yes. YES.
3) I will be seeing this opening night. And many more times after.
4) ONE MOVE CAN SET A WHOLE GENERATION FREE. Words to live by.
5) 3D.
That is all.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Insert Foot in Mouth (Top TV of the Decade)
I'm really hypocritical. Remember my last HuffPo article where I begged for no more "Top Ten of the Decade" Lists? Or the post just before this one, in which I practically said outright I was done blogging for 2009, and that I intended on ridiculing all this "TV as Art" crap?
The thing is, everyone is writing their Top Ten of TV Shows of the Decade lists and while I agree with many, I figure I should get my own chance to throw out a few selections. So, with what little authority I have, I'm sharing mine. I do plan on writing a post that completely makes fun of this desire to whittle things down to the TEN BEST OF THE DECADE! but until then, I'm just gonna keep my foot in my mouth, and share my list. Anyway, what other TV blogger is proclaiming The Hills as one of the best shows to come out of the aughts?
First, a disclaimer: there are many shows that I know are brilliant and amazing but that I have never watched, and while I know some of these shows (like The Wire) are deserving of a place on my list, I simply can't include them (yes, it's outrageous I haven't watched The Wire, and I plan to - it's on my Netflix queue). This is a biased list - however I'm approaching it by looking at shows I feel have changed the game or defied expectations. These are the shows that continue to resonate with me; the shows I would tell anyone I think are the best of the past ten years.
Without further ado, and in no particular order...
Arrested Development (2003-2006)
I'm not sure there is any other comedy show I quote as frequently as I quote Arrested Development. Years after its end, the show is still relevant, still funny, and still genius. I'm not sure any other comedy has even come close to this show in terms of consistently bringing the funny in a smart and clever way. What's interesting to me is that I don't even think any other comedy has tried to copy the style of Arrested Development - it's a standalone masterpiece, almost as though everyone knows there's no chance of matching its perfection.
Battlestar Galactica (2004-2009)
I loved this show because it wasn't about science fiction. Sure, it's title all but screams sci-fi, but the show itself wasn't. BSG was about ethics, morals, religion, politics, relationships - all the social, economic and political issues we debate on a global scale every day. And what other show invented a new swear word or inspired panel discussions at the United Nations (please note I did not research if, in fact, other shows have been presented at the UN, so I could be wrong, but for the sake of my very-biased Top Ten list, go with me on this)? Holy frak this show was phenomenal.
Bones (2005-present)
I do not like procedurals. I am not one of those people who can watch hours upon hours of Law & Order or CSI, and so it was with some reluctance that I started watching Bones early last year, and really only because Entertainment Weekly was always writing about it, so I figured I'd see what all the fuss was about. I watched the pilot, and then I watched a few random episodes from the first two seasons. Then I realized I was hooked, bought all the seasons on DVD, caught up to the current season and joined the rabid fanbase for this "little engine that could" kind of show (I say that in the sense that Bones is not a show that's popularly debated over office water coolers and I doubt it's showing up on any other TV critic lists - it's overwhelmingly underrated, in my opinion, and yet is a show that's now hitting a new stride in its fifth season). Bones is not a procedural, at least not in my mind. It is a character drama that tackles very heavy issues through crime-solving. It is also rife with comedy. The stories and characters are compelling, and the two leads have so much chemistry I could probably watch them driving in a car for an hour and still be entertained.
Firefly (2002-2003)
Nathan Fillion is about half of the reason I love this show. His Captain Mal Reynolds, the cavalier leader of an odd collective of (and how to write this without making the show sound insane, but also convey the story...) cowboys in space, a spiritual leader, a concubine, and the two outlaws they're harboring; is the sort of character I want to hang out with. Interestingly, this show was the first Joss Whedon show I ever watched, and at the time I had no idea who Joss Whedon really was in the grand, significant TV-changing landscape, academic sense of things. I hadn't watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer (don't worry, I have since then), so Firefly was my intro to the Whedonverse. This is another show that's so much more than it seems - more than science-fiction certainly (and it even features a pre-High School Musical Zac Efron as a young Simon Tam). In fact, I don't think I can accurately convey why this show belongs on my Top Ten list beyond Nathan Fillion as half the reason (he's really great). It's only one season, sadly, but it's one season of fantastic entertainment.
Friday Night Lights (2006 - present)
If someone were to ask me to name the best show on TV, I'd answer, without thinking, Friday Night Lights. This is not a show about football, or Texas, or race, or families, or relationships - it is a show about all these things, and so much more. FNL is a show about people. This is a show grounded in reality, tackling issues anyone can understand and relate to, issues that many of us often face. The beauty of FNL is that it resonates with everyone. It doesn't matter who you are or where you come from, this show embraces the themes and challenges of our lives, in a seamlessly authentic manner. When I watch FNL I am reminded of my mother, my upbringing, my friends, my family, how lucky I am - how lucky we all are. FNL is humbling in its storytelling and its message, and is a cinematic masterpiece that invades your living room once a week, but stays in your mind for long after.
The Hills (2006-present)
I have tagged 34 entries (not including this one) of my blog with "The Hills." I have written about my deep love/hate relationship with this show over lengthy diatribes, or two sentence rants. I have obsessed over The Hills and my own fascination with it so much that I've given myself headaches. I can credit my various commentaries on The Hills as the reason I now blog for the Huffington Post (seriously - it was a Hills post that got me noticed over there). To be honest, I no longer watch the show, or at least I haven't consistently since somewhere during the middle of the third season, and I certainly wouldn't put this in the same realm as Friday Night Lights (how ironic that in this list, it directly follows FNL), but the reason The Hills is one of the Top Ten Best TV Shows of the Decade is that it's a total game changer. I suppose I ought to credit Laguna Beach as the ultimate game-changer in this area, however, it wasn't until The Hills came along that scripted-reality really flourished. The Hills is brilliant in that it infiltrated popular culture on such a grand scale - redefining fame and reality television, spawning fashion lines, online games, new forms of social media interaction and TV viewing, and its own spinoff. This show is so often overlooked because in some ways, it's pure crap - but I can't deny its genius, and thus it is well-deserving of a spot on this list.
Lost (2004-present)
If there's any no-brainer item here, it's Lost. In fact, I don't know that I have as much to write about this show, beyond that it's an obvious example of purely great television. It's consistently changed, evolved, and maintained intrigue - embracing a clever storytelling conceit with the flashback, and then the flashforward, in a way that was not at all contrived or unnecessary. Lost has accomplished the difficult, sometimes the near-impossible as it resolves plotlines while creating new stories. I have no doubt that as the show enters its final season in 2010, its mark on the past decade of television will linger on for years to come, but I have a feeling no show will ever hit that mark quite as well.
The Office (2005-present) and 30 Rock (2006-present)
I totally cheated by listing these two shows together, but I often think of them together as two comedies that stand as prime examples of reinventing the wheel. I suppose I should credit the original British version of The Office, however the American version, with its ups and downs, and occasional off-episodes, is at its core, so simple in idea, and so brilliant in execution that it's far outlived it's British derivative. 30 Rock is of the same mindset - a simple plot that finds outlandish humor in what we might often deem to be the mundane or irrelevant. While these two shows take place in two very different worlds, the humor is perfect, and mostly thanks to the hilarious characters (and the actors that play them, and writers that write them). We've each got a bit of Michael Scott or Liz Lemon inside, and thanks to The Office and 30 Rock, it's a little easier to laugh at ourselves.
Pushing Daisies (2007-2009)
To be honest, I am fairly shocked this show hasn't popped up on more critics' lists. Pushing Daisies was a whimsical dream of a show - almost as though Tim Burton, Salvador Dali, and whoever it was that did the movie Amelie sat down in a room together and decided to make a TV show about crime-solving and forbidden love set in an idyllic dreamworld (side note: I'd love to watch Pushing Daisies in 3D). It's a shame this show was canceled when it was, but I am glad that it received honors through the Paley Center and a few Emmy nominations. Pushing Daisies was a show unlike any other, and if this was the decade that TV became art, I don't know that there is any other show more indicative of that.
The West Wing (1999-2006)
When I used to watch The West Wing I remember telling my friends I felt INVOLVED. How ironic - that spending hours upon hours watching a fake president and fake White House staffers embroiled in fake (albeit, real-ish) political issues, I felt as though I was doing something significant along the lines of civic duty. Or something. The thing is, The West Wing made politics approachable in a way that hadn't really been done before. The characters were certainly fascinating, and for a while there I pretended Bartlet was in fact the current U.S. president. The West Wing effectively created a political world I wanted to live in, and beyond Aaron Sorkin's genius dialogue (seriously, how does that man do it?), at its core, this was just a damn good television show.
Honorable Mention goes to Dr Horrible's Sing Along Blog (2008), for revolutionizing digital media and original online content, as well as for completely redefining the musical comedy genre. Hell, this show redefined television entirely.
Well, there you have it. Agree? Disagree? Think I'm insane for not having watched The Wire yet? Pissed that I forgot anything obvious? Feel free to weigh-in with a comment below.
The thing is, everyone is writing their Top Ten of TV Shows of the Decade lists and while I agree with many, I figure I should get my own chance to throw out a few selections. So, with what little authority I have, I'm sharing mine. I do plan on writing a post that completely makes fun of this desire to whittle things down to the TEN BEST OF THE DECADE! but until then, I'm just gonna keep my foot in my mouth, and share my list. Anyway, what other TV blogger is proclaiming The Hills as one of the best shows to come out of the aughts?
First, a disclaimer: there are many shows that I know are brilliant and amazing but that I have never watched, and while I know some of these shows (like The Wire) are deserving of a place on my list, I simply can't include them (yes, it's outrageous I haven't watched The Wire, and I plan to - it's on my Netflix queue). This is a biased list - however I'm approaching it by looking at shows I feel have changed the game or defied expectations. These are the shows that continue to resonate with me; the shows I would tell anyone I think are the best of the past ten years.
Without further ado, and in no particular order...
Arrested Development (2003-2006)
I'm not sure there is any other comedy show I quote as frequently as I quote Arrested Development. Years after its end, the show is still relevant, still funny, and still genius. I'm not sure any other comedy has even come close to this show in terms of consistently bringing the funny in a smart and clever way. What's interesting to me is that I don't even think any other comedy has tried to copy the style of Arrested Development - it's a standalone masterpiece, almost as though everyone knows there's no chance of matching its perfection.
Battlestar Galactica (2004-2009)
I loved this show because it wasn't about science fiction. Sure, it's title all but screams sci-fi, but the show itself wasn't. BSG was about ethics, morals, religion, politics, relationships - all the social, economic and political issues we debate on a global scale every day. And what other show invented a new swear word or inspired panel discussions at the United Nations (please note I did not research if, in fact, other shows have been presented at the UN, so I could be wrong, but for the sake of my very-biased Top Ten list, go with me on this)? Holy frak this show was phenomenal.
Bones (2005-present)
I do not like procedurals. I am not one of those people who can watch hours upon hours of Law & Order or CSI, and so it was with some reluctance that I started watching Bones early last year, and really only because Entertainment Weekly was always writing about it, so I figured I'd see what all the fuss was about. I watched the pilot, and then I watched a few random episodes from the first two seasons. Then I realized I was hooked, bought all the seasons on DVD, caught up to the current season and joined the rabid fanbase for this "little engine that could" kind of show (I say that in the sense that Bones is not a show that's popularly debated over office water coolers and I doubt it's showing up on any other TV critic lists - it's overwhelmingly underrated, in my opinion, and yet is a show that's now hitting a new stride in its fifth season). Bones is not a procedural, at least not in my mind. It is a character drama that tackles very heavy issues through crime-solving. It is also rife with comedy. The stories and characters are compelling, and the two leads have so much chemistry I could probably watch them driving in a car for an hour and still be entertained.
Firefly (2002-2003)
Nathan Fillion is about half of the reason I love this show. His Captain Mal Reynolds, the cavalier leader of an odd collective of (and how to write this without making the show sound insane, but also convey the story...) cowboys in space, a spiritual leader, a concubine, and the two outlaws they're harboring; is the sort of character I want to hang out with. Interestingly, this show was the first Joss Whedon show I ever watched, and at the time I had no idea who Joss Whedon really was in the grand, significant TV-changing landscape, academic sense of things. I hadn't watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer (don't worry, I have since then), so Firefly was my intro to the Whedonverse. This is another show that's so much more than it seems - more than science-fiction certainly (and it even features a pre-High School Musical Zac Efron as a young Simon Tam). In fact, I don't think I can accurately convey why this show belongs on my Top Ten list beyond Nathan Fillion as half the reason (he's really great). It's only one season, sadly, but it's one season of fantastic entertainment.
Friday Night Lights (2006 - present)
If someone were to ask me to name the best show on TV, I'd answer, without thinking, Friday Night Lights. This is not a show about football, or Texas, or race, or families, or relationships - it is a show about all these things, and so much more. FNL is a show about people. This is a show grounded in reality, tackling issues anyone can understand and relate to, issues that many of us often face. The beauty of FNL is that it resonates with everyone. It doesn't matter who you are or where you come from, this show embraces the themes and challenges of our lives, in a seamlessly authentic manner. When I watch FNL I am reminded of my mother, my upbringing, my friends, my family, how lucky I am - how lucky we all are. FNL is humbling in its storytelling and its message, and is a cinematic masterpiece that invades your living room once a week, but stays in your mind for long after.
The Hills (2006-present)
I have tagged 34 entries (not including this one) of my blog with "The Hills." I have written about my deep love/hate relationship with this show over lengthy diatribes, or two sentence rants. I have obsessed over The Hills and my own fascination with it so much that I've given myself headaches. I can credit my various commentaries on The Hills as the reason I now blog for the Huffington Post (seriously - it was a Hills post that got me noticed over there). To be honest, I no longer watch the show, or at least I haven't consistently since somewhere during the middle of the third season, and I certainly wouldn't put this in the same realm as Friday Night Lights (how ironic that in this list, it directly follows FNL), but the reason The Hills is one of the Top Ten Best TV Shows of the Decade is that it's a total game changer. I suppose I ought to credit Laguna Beach as the ultimate game-changer in this area, however, it wasn't until The Hills came along that scripted-reality really flourished. The Hills is brilliant in that it infiltrated popular culture on such a grand scale - redefining fame and reality television, spawning fashion lines, online games, new forms of social media interaction and TV viewing, and its own spinoff. This show is so often overlooked because in some ways, it's pure crap - but I can't deny its genius, and thus it is well-deserving of a spot on this list.
Lost (2004-present)
If there's any no-brainer item here, it's Lost. In fact, I don't know that I have as much to write about this show, beyond that it's an obvious example of purely great television. It's consistently changed, evolved, and maintained intrigue - embracing a clever storytelling conceit with the flashback, and then the flashforward, in a way that was not at all contrived or unnecessary. Lost has accomplished the difficult, sometimes the near-impossible as it resolves plotlines while creating new stories. I have no doubt that as the show enters its final season in 2010, its mark on the past decade of television will linger on for years to come, but I have a feeling no show will ever hit that mark quite as well.
The Office (2005-present) and 30 Rock (2006-present)
I totally cheated by listing these two shows together, but I often think of them together as two comedies that stand as prime examples of reinventing the wheel. I suppose I should credit the original British version of The Office, however the American version, with its ups and downs, and occasional off-episodes, is at its core, so simple in idea, and so brilliant in execution that it's far outlived it's British derivative. 30 Rock is of the same mindset - a simple plot that finds outlandish humor in what we might often deem to be the mundane or irrelevant. While these two shows take place in two very different worlds, the humor is perfect, and mostly thanks to the hilarious characters (and the actors that play them, and writers that write them). We've each got a bit of Michael Scott or Liz Lemon inside, and thanks to The Office and 30 Rock, it's a little easier to laugh at ourselves.
Pushing Daisies (2007-2009)
To be honest, I am fairly shocked this show hasn't popped up on more critics' lists. Pushing Daisies was a whimsical dream of a show - almost as though Tim Burton, Salvador Dali, and whoever it was that did the movie Amelie sat down in a room together and decided to make a TV show about crime-solving and forbidden love set in an idyllic dreamworld (side note: I'd love to watch Pushing Daisies in 3D). It's a shame this show was canceled when it was, but I am glad that it received honors through the Paley Center and a few Emmy nominations. Pushing Daisies was a show unlike any other, and if this was the decade that TV became art, I don't know that there is any other show more indicative of that.
The West Wing (1999-2006)
When I used to watch The West Wing I remember telling my friends I felt INVOLVED. How ironic - that spending hours upon hours watching a fake president and fake White House staffers embroiled in fake (albeit, real-ish) political issues, I felt as though I was doing something significant along the lines of civic duty. Or something. The thing is, The West Wing made politics approachable in a way that hadn't really been done before. The characters were certainly fascinating, and for a while there I pretended Bartlet was in fact the current U.S. president. The West Wing effectively created a political world I wanted to live in, and beyond Aaron Sorkin's genius dialogue (seriously, how does that man do it?), at its core, this was just a damn good television show.
Honorable Mention goes to Dr Horrible's Sing Along Blog (2008), for revolutionizing digital media and original online content, as well as for completely redefining the musical comedy genre. Hell, this show redefined television entirely.
Well, there you have it. Agree? Disagree? Think I'm insane for not having watched The Wire yet? Pissed that I forgot anything obvious? Feel free to weigh-in with a comment below.
That's So Maine
I'm on vacation. Could you tell?
I'm currently in Maine, enjoying a life without cable TV, or at the moment, hot water (seriously). It's really nice to get out of the LA bubble, and even nicer to be back in a small town, get down to your roots and whatnot.
You read that correctly, by the way - I do not have cable TV or hot water.
Fortunately the plumber is coming this afternoon to deal with the hot water issue, which is a good thing. Last night I attempted to take a cold shower, which really just felt like I was taking an ice pick to my brain.
Also, I slept for 11 hours last night. I can't even remember the last time that happened... vacation really is a beautiful thing.
Happy Holidays by the way... new posts to come next week when I am back in LA, including a best of the blog roundup and my new years resolutions, one of which is blogging more regularly (both here and for HuffPo). And again to "be professional" which hasn't worked out too well for me thus far. But hey, I'm still gainfully employed, so that's something, right?
This probably won't be my last post of 2009, but some things to look forward to in 2010 include:
I'm currently in Maine, enjoying a life without cable TV, or at the moment, hot water (seriously). It's really nice to get out of the LA bubble, and even nicer to be back in a small town, get down to your roots and whatnot.
You read that correctly, by the way - I do not have cable TV or hot water.
Fortunately the plumber is coming this afternoon to deal with the hot water issue, which is a good thing. Last night I attempted to take a cold shower, which really just felt like I was taking an ice pick to my brain.
Also, I slept for 11 hours last night. I can't even remember the last time that happened... vacation really is a beautiful thing.
Happy Holidays by the way... new posts to come next week when I am back in LA, including a best of the blog roundup and my new years resolutions, one of which is blogging more regularly (both here and for HuffPo). And again to "be professional" which hasn't worked out too well for me thus far. But hey, I'm still gainfully employed, so that's something, right?
This probably won't be my last post of 2009, but some things to look forward to in 2010 include:
- A fun crowdsourcing article-writing experiment
- I'm going to have to throw my hat in the ring with a best of the decade's TV post, (or something along those lines... I'll probably make fun of other people's posts, and then talk about why I love Bones or attempt to convince people that Twitter is THE FUTURE).
- I'll be starting a new freelancing gig that should bring about some interesting Hollywood stories, or at least some more money in my pocket
- I might get a hair cut
- After a few rewrites I'm going to start letting people read my TV pilot
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Trying to make my "interests" interesting... (or that time I wrote a lot about myself)
I was just looking at my Facebook profile, and realized I updated my "interests" somewhat recently. Some of them are a little odd. Some are heavily connected to the TV pilot I'm working on, actually a surprising amount (and the last batch of interests also had a large influence on the script, now that I think of it). Some are really obvious and require no further explanation, but I figure why not share a little bit more about these interests... not that you care, because you probably don't, but I'm indulging my narcissistic side a little more than usual today. Pretend you find it endearing or something. Now, in no particular order...
sweet'n'sour sauce
The greatest thing McDonald's ever created. Especially good with Chicken McNuggets or French Fries. These are the only things I will ever order at McDonald's. And I always ask for extra sweet'n'sour sauce because you never know when you might be craving it, and surprisingly, it also tastes good with Morningstar Farms fake chicken nuggets.
my animal spirit god
I'm convinced I have one and maybe I've even seen it before. Maybe not. They're tricky that way.
tv on dvd
This doesn't need explanation beyond my opinion that this might be the greatest thing since sliced bread. Although I am not sure sliced bread is all that great. Sure, it's convenient... but what's the origin of this saying? Anyone? But yeah, TV shows on DVD are just really fantastic.
astronaut ice cream
This shit is crazy. Crazy delicious. (Also crazy). I love it so much it's become a major plot point in the TV pilot I am writing.
the silver lining
There's one of these in everything and I like finding it. Cheesy? Probably. But I mean it. Finding the silver lining in things has been pretty helpful in getting me through the bad stuff in life.
fig newtons
I fucking love fig newtons. Always have.
gender neutral first names
My mom's name was Palmer, it's also my middle name, and I have to say that in the years after she passed away I really considered going by Palmer. But I'm much more of an Annie. Actually I am much more of a Stamos. In general, I love gender neutral first names because they are often old-fashioned and different - and I don't know... fun. Although names like Pat suck. Perhaps I should revise this to unique gender neutral first names...
aquariums
Sometimes an aquarium can make me so happy my heart hearts. Truly. The Boston Aquarium is my favorite aquarium. There's a nostalgic component here, sure, but also... I love fishies. I think that if I had either been better at science, or more willing to work harder at it, then I would have ended up a marine biologist. And yes, I love aquariums so much that they are another major plot point in my TV pilot work-in-progress.
Maine
duh.
freedom
I love freedom. Both in the ironic and non-ironic sense. If you don't understand what I mean, you clearly love freedom as well, but only in the non-ironic sense, which is unfortunate for you.
insensitivity
This is something I excel in, at least by Hollywood standards. Thus, it is of great interest to me.
theme songs
I love theme songs - from movie themes to TV themes, to personal theme songs. Everyone should have a theme song. Mine changes on the regular.
manu chao
Probably my favorite band. In the history of music. Bold claim? Yes. But I feel strongly about this.
local ads
who doesn't love a budget local ad? Oh man, there used to be some GREAT ones growing up in Maine, many with excellent jingles about local geography.
dudes
This interest is twofold: (1) I, like most heterosexual women, like guys - so that's sort of a no-brainer and (2) I love guys who are dudes in the total dudetastic sense of being a dude - and I love hanging with dudes. Dudes are awesome. Chicks who are dudelike are also awesome.
the toaster oven
A great invention. You can accomplish so much with a toaster oven. My roommate Becca is a culinary genius with ours.
good hair days
Never underestimate the value of a good hair day. My hair, in my opinion, is one of my best features, however I am so incredibly lazy when it comes to my hair that when I've got a good hair day happening it does a whole lot for my ego. Also, my hair is so terrifying when I wake up in the morning (and this has also inspired a moment in that TV pilot), that when I actually get it calmed down, it feels like a real accomplishment. It's the little things.
sweet'n'sour sauce
The greatest thing McDonald's ever created. Especially good with Chicken McNuggets or French Fries. These are the only things I will ever order at McDonald's. And I always ask for extra sweet'n'sour sauce because you never know when you might be craving it, and surprisingly, it also tastes good with Morningstar Farms fake chicken nuggets.
my animal spirit god
I'm convinced I have one and maybe I've even seen it before. Maybe not. They're tricky that way.
tv on dvd
This doesn't need explanation beyond my opinion that this might be the greatest thing since sliced bread. Although I am not sure sliced bread is all that great. Sure, it's convenient... but what's the origin of this saying? Anyone? But yeah, TV shows on DVD are just really fantastic.
astronaut ice cream
This shit is crazy. Crazy delicious. (Also crazy). I love it so much it's become a major plot point in the TV pilot I am writing.
the silver lining
There's one of these in everything and I like finding it. Cheesy? Probably. But I mean it. Finding the silver lining in things has been pretty helpful in getting me through the bad stuff in life.
fig newtons
I fucking love fig newtons. Always have.
gender neutral first names
My mom's name was Palmer, it's also my middle name, and I have to say that in the years after she passed away I really considered going by Palmer. But I'm much more of an Annie. Actually I am much more of a Stamos. In general, I love gender neutral first names because they are often old-fashioned and different - and I don't know... fun. Although names like Pat suck. Perhaps I should revise this to unique gender neutral first names...
aquariums
Sometimes an aquarium can make me so happy my heart hearts. Truly. The Boston Aquarium is my favorite aquarium. There's a nostalgic component here, sure, but also... I love fishies. I think that if I had either been better at science, or more willing to work harder at it, then I would have ended up a marine biologist. And yes, I love aquariums so much that they are another major plot point in my TV pilot work-in-progress.
Maine
duh.
freedom
I love freedom. Both in the ironic and non-ironic sense. If you don't understand what I mean, you clearly love freedom as well, but only in the non-ironic sense, which is unfortunate for you.
insensitivity
This is something I excel in, at least by Hollywood standards. Thus, it is of great interest to me.
theme songs
I love theme songs - from movie themes to TV themes, to personal theme songs. Everyone should have a theme song. Mine changes on the regular.
manu chao
Probably my favorite band. In the history of music. Bold claim? Yes. But I feel strongly about this.
local ads
who doesn't love a budget local ad? Oh man, there used to be some GREAT ones growing up in Maine, many with excellent jingles about local geography.
dudes
This interest is twofold: (1) I, like most heterosexual women, like guys - so that's sort of a no-brainer and (2) I love guys who are dudes in the total dudetastic sense of being a dude - and I love hanging with dudes. Dudes are awesome. Chicks who are dudelike are also awesome.
the toaster oven
A great invention. You can accomplish so much with a toaster oven. My roommate Becca is a culinary genius with ours.
good hair days
Never underestimate the value of a good hair day. My hair, in my opinion, is one of my best features, however I am so incredibly lazy when it comes to my hair that when I've got a good hair day happening it does a whole lot for my ego. Also, my hair is so terrifying when I wake up in the morning (and this has also inspired a moment in that TV pilot), that when I actually get it calmed down, it feels like a real accomplishment. It's the little things.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Because You Seem to Have More Questions About Maxillofacial Surgery
Back, by popular demand: an inside look at the bizarre things people search for that lead them to my blog. Mostly having to do with the fun that is facial reconstructive surgery, but I find that sometimes people are into some weird shit that lands them here. (For a refresher, check out the original post here).
1. "david boreanaz jaw"
Huh. It would appear that over the course of the past year I've ramped up the posts in which I mindlessly babble about either Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Bones. Not sure why you're researching "david boreanaz jaw" specifically (that's a little weird) unless maybe you're one of those dudes who gets plastic surgery to look like famous people, in which case, I'd like to refer you to that one episode of MTV's True Life where they showed all sorts of mentally insane people doing exactly that, who then had a lot of regrets that resulted in self-destructive behavior. Terrible idea.
2. "should you smoke cig while your jaw is wired shut"
Uh. No. No, you should not. And don't call them "cigs" either.
3. "john stamos shirtless"
I think I once posted a pic of his weird outtie belly button so yeah, you might find that here.
4. "when you have your jaw wired shut is it normal for you jaw to go numb"
Unfortunately, yes. I still have a small spot on my chin that doesn't have full feeling. Keep in mind if your lower jaw is being moved and/or your chin, during the surgery the doctor will be slicing through your nerves. Recovery can be quick, but super painful. And weird, if I remember correctly. All your nerves sort of regenerate and connect and stuff. Or something like that but in medical terms so it sounds a lot better. You should probably ask your surgeon about this.
5. "what is the song featured in the commercial for whip it!, but is not on the movie's sountrack"
Dude. I have no idea. I mean I wrote one post on that. I still haven't even seen the movie.
6. "jaw wired shut and adderall"
Now I know a lot about both these things, but in completely unrelated ways.
7. "what is wrong with david boreanaz's jaw?"
Again, with the David Boreanaz nonsense. Personally, I think he's really attractive. But if you have an issue with his jaw structure then why are you researching it further? This makes no sense to me.
8. "no fatties no hamsters"
God, I love that video. It's funnier every time I watch. Ew wait. If this is some weird sort of porn fetish than please just leave my blog immediately. Go. Now. And see a psychologist or something. Gross.
9. "what does it mean when you get your jaw wired shut?"
It means - wait, really? Is it not explicit? Okay... Using wire (or these days a lot of doctors use insanely strong rubber bands. I'm talking Ironman levels of strength here), your upper jaw and lower jaw are fastened together. You've also got braces, and these nasty metal attachments called "surgical hooks." Then you're put on a liquid diet for about 8 weeks, during which you will contemplate putting foods that should remain solid into a blender because you miss the taste of pizza so damn much and you rationalize that Chinese food gets all mushy and lumped together anyway. And if you're 23 and you live at home, and you don't have a job, and find yourself sleeping weird hours because of the painkillers and so you're watching a lot of Oprah (and you don't even like Oprah) and the side effects of the anesthesia result in an odd amount of peach fuzz appearing around your hairline, well then you're probably looking at some massive self esteem issues as well. But don't worry. Those are only temporary.
10. "curl up in a fetal position"
Me too, my friend. Me too.
1. "david boreanaz jaw"
Huh. It would appear that over the course of the past year I've ramped up the posts in which I mindlessly babble about either Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Bones. Not sure why you're researching "david boreanaz jaw" specifically (that's a little weird) unless maybe you're one of those dudes who gets plastic surgery to look like famous people, in which case, I'd like to refer you to that one episode of MTV's True Life where they showed all sorts of mentally insane people doing exactly that, who then had a lot of regrets that resulted in self-destructive behavior. Terrible idea.
2. "should you smoke cig while your jaw is wired shut"
Uh. No. No, you should not. And don't call them "cigs" either.
3. "john stamos shirtless"
I think I once posted a pic of his weird outtie belly button so yeah, you might find that here.
4. "when you have your jaw wired shut is it normal for you jaw to go numb"
Unfortunately, yes. I still have a small spot on my chin that doesn't have full feeling. Keep in mind if your lower jaw is being moved and/or your chin, during the surgery the doctor will be slicing through your nerves. Recovery can be quick, but super painful. And weird, if I remember correctly. All your nerves sort of regenerate and connect and stuff. Or something like that but in medical terms so it sounds a lot better. You should probably ask your surgeon about this.
5. "what is the song featured in the commercial for whip it!, but is not on the movie's sountrack"
Dude. I have no idea. I mean I wrote one post on that. I still haven't even seen the movie.
6. "jaw wired shut and adderall"
Now I know a lot about both these things, but in completely unrelated ways.
7. "what is wrong with david boreanaz's jaw?"
Again, with the David Boreanaz nonsense. Personally, I think he's really attractive. But if you have an issue with his jaw structure then why are you researching it further? This makes no sense to me.
8. "no fatties no hamsters"
God, I love that video. It's funnier every time I watch. Ew wait. If this is some weird sort of porn fetish than please just leave my blog immediately. Go. Now. And see a psychologist or something. Gross.
9. "what does it mean when you get your jaw wired shut?"
It means - wait, really? Is it not explicit? Okay... Using wire (or these days a lot of doctors use insanely strong rubber bands. I'm talking Ironman levels of strength here), your upper jaw and lower jaw are fastened together. You've also got braces, and these nasty metal attachments called "surgical hooks." Then you're put on a liquid diet for about 8 weeks, during which you will contemplate putting foods that should remain solid into a blender because you miss the taste of pizza so damn much and you rationalize that Chinese food gets all mushy and lumped together anyway. And if you're 23 and you live at home, and you don't have a job, and find yourself sleeping weird hours because of the painkillers and so you're watching a lot of Oprah (and you don't even like Oprah) and the side effects of the anesthesia result in an odd amount of peach fuzz appearing around your hairline, well then you're probably looking at some massive self esteem issues as well. But don't worry. Those are only temporary.
10. "curl up in a fetal position"
Me too, my friend. Me too.
Friday, August 07, 2009
Some Thoughts in my Mind Right Now That You Probably Don't Care About
If you are looking at this list thinking HEEEEEEEEEEELLLLL NO I am not reading that much of her mindless rambling, just skip to NUMBER SIX.
Thx,
Mngmnt.
(1) I seem to attract angry seagulls. Last weekend, there I was, just minding my own business at the beach, enjoying my crime thriller novel au moment, when BAM! a seagull craps on my leg. Although I've been told it's good luck (can anyone verify this?). And this is a mere three weeks after that other seagull divebombed for my sandwich. So I'd like to know: WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH THE CALIFORNIA SEAGULLS?
(2) In other news, I have three days left at my current job (including today). First of all, who knew that two weeks notice flies by so quickly? It's exciting but also very surreal. And sad... but also great... so it's just a ROLLER COASTER of emotions up in here.
(3) You know I am sad my job will no longer be as a trend forecaster. Because then I will lose credibility when telling random people things like "MIMOSA IS THE NEW HOT COLOR" or "YES IT IS PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE TO PAINT YOUR NAILS MULTIPLE SHADES OF NEON COLORS."
(4) Which brings me to my next point... at the new job how long do I have to wait before I can bust out the neon clothing? Today I am wearing pants so neon they may as well be nuclear (seriously, they are the color of a yellow highlighter) and a bright purple tye-dye t-shirt. Sure it's my form of silent rebellion, of sticking it to the MAN, of saying "SUCK IT SUITS" but in all honesty, while I do love bright colors I've definitely exaggerated my love and frequency when placed in such a corporate environment. Good news is that the new gig appears to be much less corporate. So yeah maybe less neon?
(5) And better news? I am going to be in MAINE soon. I FUCKING LOVE MAINE. In case you didn't know that. You probably did. I love it so much. I also love the ocean. The ocean in Maine feels infinitely crisper and cleaner than here in LA. Probably because it's significantly less polluted. I want to live in the ocean. (OK contribute that last quote to Becca).
(6) And MOST IMPORTANTLY: I am now following John Stamos on Twitter. Yes, the REAL John Stamos (not my dad), and I need to begin tweeting at him, to facilitate the mind blowing experience of a real life Stamos vs. Stamos but I NEED YOUR HELP. I need to use STRATEGERY to go about this. Because imagine what would happen to the universe if we were to meet or EVEN DUEL over Twitter (okay, we wouldn't duel, per se, but the universe would probably explode). Personally, I think Uncle Jesse and I could be the best of friends but I WANT TO MAKE THIS HAPPEN. Help me make this happen! SERIOUSLY! Leave comments, email suggestions... oooh what if all 30 of you regular readers began a Twitter campaign for STAMOS TO MEET STAMOS. HOLY SHIT. Let's do it! In the words of P. Diddy "LET'S GO PEOPLE!"
Thx,
Mngmnt.
(1) I seem to attract angry seagulls. Last weekend, there I was, just minding my own business at the beach, enjoying my crime thriller novel au moment, when BAM! a seagull craps on my leg. Although I've been told it's good luck (can anyone verify this?). And this is a mere three weeks after that other seagull divebombed for my sandwich. So I'd like to know: WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH THE CALIFORNIA SEAGULLS?
(2) In other news, I have three days left at my current job (including today). First of all, who knew that two weeks notice flies by so quickly? It's exciting but also very surreal. And sad... but also great... so it's just a ROLLER COASTER of emotions up in here.
(3) You know I am sad my job will no longer be as a trend forecaster. Because then I will lose credibility when telling random people things like "MIMOSA IS THE NEW HOT COLOR" or "YES IT IS PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE TO PAINT YOUR NAILS MULTIPLE SHADES OF NEON COLORS."
(4) Which brings me to my next point... at the new job how long do I have to wait before I can bust out the neon clothing? Today I am wearing pants so neon they may as well be nuclear (seriously, they are the color of a yellow highlighter) and a bright purple tye-dye t-shirt. Sure it's my form of silent rebellion, of sticking it to the MAN, of saying "SUCK IT SUITS" but in all honesty, while I do love bright colors I've definitely exaggerated my love and frequency when placed in such a corporate environment. Good news is that the new gig appears to be much less corporate. So yeah maybe less neon?
(5) And better news? I am going to be in MAINE soon. I FUCKING LOVE MAINE. In case you didn't know that. You probably did. I love it so much. I also love the ocean. The ocean in Maine feels infinitely crisper and cleaner than here in LA. Probably because it's significantly less polluted. I want to live in the ocean. (OK contribute that last quote to Becca).
(6) And MOST IMPORTANTLY: I am now following John Stamos on Twitter. Yes, the REAL John Stamos (not my dad), and I need to begin tweeting at him, to facilitate the mind blowing experience of a real life Stamos vs. Stamos but I NEED YOUR HELP. I need to use STRATEGERY to go about this. Because imagine what would happen to the universe if we were to meet or EVEN DUEL over Twitter (okay, we wouldn't duel, per se, but the universe would probably explode). Personally, I think Uncle Jesse and I could be the best of friends but I WANT TO MAKE THIS HAPPEN. Help me make this happen! SERIOUSLY! Leave comments, email suggestions... oooh what if all 30 of you regular readers began a Twitter campaign for STAMOS TO MEET STAMOS. HOLY SHIT. Let's do it! In the words of P. Diddy "LET'S GO PEOPLE!"
Tuesday, June 09, 2009
some things
I already have another Stamos vs. Stamos brewing (GET EXCITED).
I forgot to wear deodorant yesterday. It went better than expected.
Work is very, very busy. This is a good thing? Sure.
I saw Up the other night and left the film emotionally traumatized.
I've gotten my roommates into Bones, which really feels like an accomplishment.
Weeds is back on TV. YES!
I have not eaten hot tamales in sometime.
I cooked an amazing Costa Rican dinner for myself last night.
I have no idea what I want to eat for lunch today and it's causing a great deal of stress.
My Pert Plus usage has increased to 70% of my showers.
My sleep time has increased by 70%.
I haven't shopped for ANYTHING in what feels like decades.
The above statement is a lie. It just feels that way.
I haven't cut my hair since November. Ew.
I've been listening to Placebo's "Running Up That Hill" on repeat since Sunday.
Per the above statement, I have a lot of angst. For what, I have no idea.
I forgot to wear deodorant yesterday. It went better than expected.
Work is very, very busy. This is a good thing? Sure.
I saw Up the other night and left the film emotionally traumatized.
I've gotten my roommates into Bones, which really feels like an accomplishment.
Weeds is back on TV. YES!
I have not eaten hot tamales in sometime.
I cooked an amazing Costa Rican dinner for myself last night.
I have no idea what I want to eat for lunch today and it's causing a great deal of stress.
My Pert Plus usage has increased to 70% of my showers.
My sleep time has increased by 70%.
I haven't shopped for ANYTHING in what feels like decades.
The above statement is a lie. It just feels that way.
I haven't cut my hair since November. Ew.
I've been listening to Placebo's "Running Up That Hill" on repeat since Sunday.
Per the above statement, I have a lot of angst. For what, I have no idea.
Friday, April 24, 2009
I AM BURSTING AT THE SEAMS WITH JOY!
I am filled with joy and EXUBERANCE today, my dear readers. Why, oh why? LET ME TELL YOU IN A NIFTY LIST FORMAT. GOLLY GEE I LOVE MAKING LISTS!
1) I love World Music. I do. I want to shout it on a mountain top. I feel like since Coachella my deep love for this genre of jams has been reignited and not only have I been discovering some great LA venues to catch new acts (like Afro Funk night at ZANZIBAR), but I have been discovering new HOT BEATS online.
2) I am wearing A NEON ORANGE SHIRT TODAY WITH PAINT SPLATTERS OF OTHER NEON COLORS ON IT. I AM PUSHING THE CASUAL FRIDAY DRESS CODE. I like to LIVE ON THE EDGE.
3) Tonight I am going to see EARTH. Finally! At long last... if you go back and look at my post from Earth Day 2008 when I first talk about my excitement for the film you may recall my claim that I was going to see it on Earth Day 2009. Well. I didn't. BUT I AM GOING TO SEE IT TONIGHT.
4) Tomorrow is Annie's birthday and her birthday party (conveniently at the same dive bar where DiTonto and I had our party) and it is destined to be an epic evening. WHY? Besides celebrating the birth of this fabulous lady, the theme is CROQUET (because she loves Alice in Wonderland) and we have leftover GLOWSTICKS from Coachella. YES, I SAID GLOWSTICKS. I TOO ENJOY A GOOD GLOWSTICK EVERY NOW AND THEN.
5) When KO was in town she introduced me to the phenomenon that is FLEA MARKET MONTGOMERY. It is HEAVEN.
Living rooms. Bedrooms. Dinettes. OH YEAH!
1) I love World Music. I do. I want to shout it on a mountain top. I feel like since Coachella my deep love for this genre of jams has been reignited and not only have I been discovering some great LA venues to catch new acts (like Afro Funk night at ZANZIBAR), but I have been discovering new HOT BEATS online.
2) I am wearing A NEON ORANGE SHIRT TODAY WITH PAINT SPLATTERS OF OTHER NEON COLORS ON IT. I AM PUSHING THE CASUAL FRIDAY DRESS CODE. I like to LIVE ON THE EDGE.
3) Tonight I am going to see EARTH. Finally! At long last... if you go back and look at my post from Earth Day 2008 when I first talk about my excitement for the film you may recall my claim that I was going to see it on Earth Day 2009. Well. I didn't. BUT I AM GOING TO SEE IT TONIGHT.
4) Tomorrow is Annie's birthday and her birthday party (conveniently at the same dive bar where DiTonto and I had our party) and it is destined to be an epic evening. WHY? Besides celebrating the birth of this fabulous lady, the theme is CROQUET (because she loves Alice in Wonderland) and we have leftover GLOWSTICKS from Coachella. YES, I SAID GLOWSTICKS. I TOO ENJOY A GOOD GLOWSTICK EVERY NOW AND THEN.
5) When KO was in town she introduced me to the phenomenon that is FLEA MARKET MONTGOMERY. It is HEAVEN.
Living rooms. Bedrooms. Dinettes. OH YEAH!
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Record Breaking
So.
This is my 60th blog post for the month of March. Which means not only have I delivered on my promise, but I have broken a record for most posts per month (passing the previous record of 56 posts in May 2008) and as this is a seriously record-breaking post I feel that it should also be ground-breaking and trouble-breaking and maybe bone-breaking too.
Alas, the creative juice supply is low today. Instead I find myself staring at Horace, envisioning what sort of nametag I should make for his pretty basket. What? You thought that because he’s a plant he doesn’t deserve a nice name plate? Horace has been a big addition to my life, here, people. Think about it. When you sit at a desk for 9 hours a day, a large green plant can really spruce up your daily existence.
What other fun things do I have at my desk, besides the standard office equiment?
A small calendar
A card my boss gave me on my birthday
My Twilight bookmark (it’s taped to the side of my computer)
A picture frame I made during an arts & crafts project that contains the words that embody the spirit of my team for the year (THINK SYNERGY)
A silly picture my friend drew for me
A sign taped on my computer that says “BE PROFESSIONAL”
Another sign on my computer reminding me what places I need to pay bills to
A photo of the Obamas and Bidens (because I love freedom)
A small “Thank You For Not Smoking” placard I once stole from a cruise ship
A big picture that says “Gen Y. Their stereotype? Entitled.”
And that’s about it.
This is my 60th blog post for the month of March. Which means not only have I delivered on my promise, but I have broken a record for most posts per month (passing the previous record of 56 posts in May 2008) and as this is a seriously record-breaking post I feel that it should also be ground-breaking and trouble-breaking and maybe bone-breaking too.
Alas, the creative juice supply is low today. Instead I find myself staring at Horace, envisioning what sort of nametag I should make for his pretty basket. What? You thought that because he’s a plant he doesn’t deserve a nice name plate? Horace has been a big addition to my life, here, people. Think about it. When you sit at a desk for 9 hours a day, a large green plant can really spruce up your daily existence.
What other fun things do I have at my desk, besides the standard office equiment?
A small calendar
A card my boss gave me on my birthday
My Twilight bookmark (it’s taped to the side of my computer)
A picture frame I made during an arts & crafts project that contains the words that embody the spirit of my team for the year (THINK SYNERGY)
A silly picture my friend drew for me
A sign taped on my computer that says “BE PROFESSIONAL”
Another sign on my computer reminding me what places I need to pay bills to
A photo of the Obamas and Bidens (because I love freedom)
A small “Thank You For Not Smoking” placard I once stole from a cruise ship
A big picture that says “Gen Y. Their stereotype? Entitled.”
And that’s about it.
Monday, March 23, 2009
Stamos vs. Stamos
Okay.
So remember that time (aka every time) when I beat John Stamos in a "Stamos vs. Stamos" competition, mostly by default, but also because I am biased toward myself winning in all irrationally stupid web-based competitions with famous TV actors?
Well, you can forget about me ever saying I was always a guaranteed win, folks, because today I have Earth-shattering proof that Stamos has just owned me. Dominated. Destroyed. He is the victor supreme.
Why?
Please see this photo:
Stamos: Epic Win.
1. He is posing with TINA FEY. This is a no-brainer.
2. He is at Disneyland.
3. He is also standing with Belle, Cinderella, and Snow White and while I’m slightly concerned he might be marginally racist (where are Jasmine and Ariel? What, do you have a thing against Persians and Mermaids, Stamos?), he is posing with some Goddamn DISNEY PRINCESSES.
4. He is wearing a fedora and dirty old-people Velcro shoes. And PULLING IT OFF. SOMEHOW. PROBABLY BECAUSE HE IS JOHN STAMOS.
5. He is referred to as a Disneyphile.
Stamos: Epic fail.
1. I have no pictures with Tina Fey (besides the one I have tucked into my mirror with a word bubble that says “work on some improv Stamos and someday you might have a shot. Like me. Also: try glasses.” That’s a lie. I have no such picture. Just in my head. And the drawer in my nightstand).
2. I have never been to Disneyland. Only Disneyworld. And naturally, Florida = Fail.
3. The closest I have ever come to standing with a princess is when I took that ridiculous Facebook quiz "Which Disney Princess are you?" and somehow landed with Mulan. Fucking Mulan.
4. I do not own a fedora nor do I have any shoes with velcro, nor could I successfully pull off this look.
5. I am not a Disneyphile. The only “phile” I might be is an X-Phile. (Also a Francophile—these two “-philes” were actually united in my secret 5th grade AOL screenname XFille—literal translation is X-Girl, which unbeknownst to me at the time did not indicate I was a nerdy fan of The X-Files but rather portrayed me as a French porn star, and resulted in a lot of confusing spam email). The shame!
I’ll get you next time Stamos.
MARK MY WORDS.
So remember that time (aka every time) when I beat John Stamos in a "Stamos vs. Stamos" competition, mostly by default, but also because I am biased toward myself winning in all irrationally stupid web-based competitions with famous TV actors?
Well, you can forget about me ever saying I was always a guaranteed win, folks, because today I have Earth-shattering proof that Stamos has just owned me. Dominated. Destroyed. He is the victor supreme.
Why?
Please see this photo:
Stamos: Epic Win.
1. He is posing with TINA FEY. This is a no-brainer.
2. He is at Disneyland.
3. He is also standing with Belle, Cinderella, and Snow White and while I’m slightly concerned he might be marginally racist (where are Jasmine and Ariel? What, do you have a thing against Persians and Mermaids, Stamos?), he is posing with some Goddamn DISNEY PRINCESSES.
4. He is wearing a fedora and dirty old-people Velcro shoes. And PULLING IT OFF. SOMEHOW. PROBABLY BECAUSE HE IS JOHN STAMOS.
5. He is referred to as a Disneyphile.
Stamos: Epic fail.
1. I have no pictures with Tina Fey (besides the one I have tucked into my mirror with a word bubble that says “work on some improv Stamos and someday you might have a shot. Like me. Also: try glasses.” That’s a lie. I have no such picture. Just in my head. And the drawer in my nightstand).
2. I have never been to Disneyland. Only Disneyworld. And naturally, Florida = Fail.
3. The closest I have ever come to standing with a princess is when I took that ridiculous Facebook quiz "Which Disney Princess are you?" and somehow landed with Mulan. Fucking Mulan.
4. I do not own a fedora nor do I have any shoes with velcro, nor could I successfully pull off this look.
5. I am not a Disneyphile. The only “phile” I might be is an X-Phile. (Also a Francophile—these two “-philes” were actually united in my secret 5th grade AOL screenname XFille—literal translation is X-Girl, which unbeknownst to me at the time did not indicate I was a nerdy fan of The X-Files but rather portrayed me as a French porn star, and resulted in a lot of confusing spam email). The shame!
I’ll get you next time Stamos.
MARK MY WORDS.
Tuesday, March 03, 2009
Woe Is Me
Ugh.
I just read this depressing/sarcastic article on Gawker about how kids today graduating from journalism school have miserable chances at getting jobs (I am too depressed to link to the specific article. Do some sleuthing). Apparently, the chances of being a sports reporter are about the same as being a pro athlete. Hah. Hah.
Seeing as I harbor lofty dreams of being a star reporter/writer capturing all things pop culture/TV/nerd (because I'm so original<--note sarcasm) I find the recession to be mostly upsetting for trampling on my silly Gen Y dreams. They should have told me when I was growing up that no, the world is not my oyster, and there was a decent chance that I wouldn't graduate into a hedonistic free-for-all where promotions come every six months. Yes, for some reason I was under the impression that the post-college years would be great--like college but maybe less responsibility (no homework) and more money (at least, self-made money).
Well, to whoever "they" are--thanks for nothing. Actually, I am pretty sure countless adults warned me of such likely post-grad sentiments (my family included), but I of course refused to believe any such nonsense. And here I am, idly dreaming of capturing award-winning creative content on the most frequented websites in website history... but to no avail.
I bet you feel pretty bad for me. You read my constant complaint-laden posts and think, "Poor Stamos, times are tough for her. Getting sunburnt in March. Living by the beach. Fear of Earthquakes. Existential crises around the clock. What can I do to help her?" Well, let me tell you how YOU can help me. (Because in these hard economic times I am the prime candidate for help<--again, please note sarcasm and attempt at sincere ironic self-deprecation).
1) Start commenting on my posts. Seriously. I want feedback! And ideas. I've been at this for well over a year and am starting to lose creative juice, and I imagine you get sick at my self-centered weekend recap posts (or maybe not, but tell me!). If you want me to write about something, leave a comment, or email me.
2) Tell your friends to read my blog. Spread the word. I really want to increase readership, and if I have a good sense that I am writing about things that other people might be interested in reading about, well then it is a win-win for all of us, no?
3) Follow me on Twitter. I know that seems like a disconnect, but I truly believe Twitter is an incredible tool for writers, both the amateur, aspiring and professionally inclined--and I count myself somewhere between the first two categories. Follow me here: http://twitter.com/stamos.
4) If you or anyone you know is looking for a writer or anyone who would gladly offer up an opinion on short notice--well that's me. Sure, my posts might often be filled with grammatical errors and nonsensical ramblings, but you'd be amazed at the speed I can pop this shit out on short notice.
Okay, that's enough relentless self-promotion for today. I'm going to mope for a little while, stalk some people on Facebook, do some work, then daydream about my fabulous future life as a travel writer... all thanks to your help.
I just read this depressing/sarcastic article on Gawker about how kids today graduating from journalism school have miserable chances at getting jobs (I am too depressed to link to the specific article. Do some sleuthing). Apparently, the chances of being a sports reporter are about the same as being a pro athlete. Hah. Hah.
Seeing as I harbor lofty dreams of being a star reporter/writer capturing all things pop culture/TV/nerd (because I'm so original<--note sarcasm) I find the recession to be mostly upsetting for trampling on my silly Gen Y dreams. They should have told me when I was growing up that no, the world is not my oyster, and there was a decent chance that I wouldn't graduate into a hedonistic free-for-all where promotions come every six months. Yes, for some reason I was under the impression that the post-college years would be great--like college but maybe less responsibility (no homework) and more money (at least, self-made money).
Well, to whoever "they" are--thanks for nothing. Actually, I am pretty sure countless adults warned me of such likely post-grad sentiments (my family included), but I of course refused to believe any such nonsense. And here I am, idly dreaming of capturing award-winning creative content on the most frequented websites in website history... but to no avail.
I bet you feel pretty bad for me. You read my constant complaint-laden posts and think, "Poor Stamos, times are tough for her. Getting sunburnt in March. Living by the beach. Fear of Earthquakes. Existential crises around the clock. What can I do to help her?" Well, let me tell you how YOU can help me. (Because in these hard economic times I am the prime candidate for help<--again, please note sarcasm and attempt at sincere ironic self-deprecation).
1) Start commenting on my posts. Seriously. I want feedback! And ideas. I've been at this for well over a year and am starting to lose creative juice, and I imagine you get sick at my self-centered weekend recap posts (or maybe not, but tell me!). If you want me to write about something, leave a comment, or email me.
2) Tell your friends to read my blog. Spread the word. I really want to increase readership, and if I have a good sense that I am writing about things that other people might be interested in reading about, well then it is a win-win for all of us, no?
3) Follow me on Twitter. I know that seems like a disconnect, but I truly believe Twitter is an incredible tool for writers, both the amateur, aspiring and professionally inclined--and I count myself somewhere between the first two categories. Follow me here: http://twitter.com/stamos.
4) If you or anyone you know is looking for a writer or anyone who would gladly offer up an opinion on short notice--well that's me. Sure, my posts might often be filled with grammatical errors and nonsensical ramblings, but you'd be amazed at the speed I can pop this shit out on short notice.
Okay, that's enough relentless self-promotion for today. I'm going to mope for a little while, stalk some people on Facebook, do some work, then daydream about my fabulous future life as a travel writer... all thanks to your help.
Monday, January 12, 2009
Starting off on the right foot?
This morning I got down to the parking garage and realized I didn't have my car keys. So I went back up to my apartment, when I realized I also didn't have my apartment keys. You guessed it--I keep all my keys on one key chain, and they were all inside my lovely abode.
Because DiTonto didn't answer her phone and Annie's had been "misplaced" Saturday night, my only option was breaking in. Upon which, I learned the following:
1. It is very easy to break into our apartment.
2. In daylight, our apartment is much more disgusting than I realized.
Because DiTonto didn't answer her phone and Annie's had been "misplaced" Saturday night, my only option was breaking in. Upon which, I learned the following:
1. It is very easy to break into our apartment.
2. In daylight, our apartment is much more disgusting than I realized.
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
New Years Resolutions
Have you been worrying that you might not get to hear what my New Year’s resolutions were? Well stop worrying because I am about to ROCK YOUR WORLD.
Actually, I am not, but I am going to enlighten you with my goals for 2009. Get ready for enlightenment:
1. Complete a body of work by year’s end. This can be an essay, a pilot, a screenplay, a book—something other than the blog, and something I might be interested in getting other people to read, so that maybe it will be published/sold/made/mocked/ridiculed/stolen/destroyed/applauded as genius.
2. Drink less alcohol. This is a little vague I realize, so I am thinking I might change this to one night a week. But then I wonder is that feasible? No I can handle that. Yeah. Drink less.
3. Get my shit together. This I have already failed miserably, both in my New Year’s Day all day drinking (to delay hangover—okay so I have failed Resolution #2 as well), and in the fact that I left my computer on the plane Sunday. Oh and also in my inability to properly dress myself. Perhaps my shit will never get together.
Okay so I guess that it’s it. I think #1 is the only real attainable goal, but I think it’s a good one. Maybe?
Actually, I am not, but I am going to enlighten you with my goals for 2009. Get ready for enlightenment:
1. Complete a body of work by year’s end. This can be an essay, a pilot, a screenplay, a book—something other than the blog, and something I might be interested in getting other people to read, so that maybe it will be published/sold/made/mocked/ridiculed/stolen/destroyed/applauded as genius.
2. Drink less alcohol. This is a little vague I realize, so I am thinking I might change this to one night a week. But then I wonder is that feasible? No I can handle that. Yeah. Drink less.
3. Get my shit together. This I have already failed miserably, both in my New Year’s Day all day drinking (to delay hangover—okay so I have failed Resolution #2 as well), and in the fact that I left my computer on the plane Sunday. Oh and also in my inability to properly dress myself. Perhaps my shit will never get together.
Okay so I guess that it’s it. I think #1 is the only real attainable goal, but I think it’s a good one. Maybe?
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
ways in which I am similar to a robot
Sometimes I get very frustrated with people and these people are often those one might encounter in the workplace or classroom or the locker room of the gym or occasionally they are people you hated in high school and have never stopped hating. My reaction to such types interests me--I think I often have either two responses, both which lead me to think I am a little bit like a robot.
(1) I get angry and then challenge the annoying/mean/rude/crazy/intolerable person (challenge can be any form of contradicting said person; or pointing out their flaws, talking back, giving attitude; general flipping out) which then gets me into a lot of trouble. Some results of this behavior are either I get in trouble, a teacher is fired, I am fired, or the words I have spoken burn with the SWEET SMELL OF THE TRUTH and therefore my heavy attack, while inappropriate, is ultimately deemed by all to be profound words of wisdom that cannot be ignored. And then all bow down before me.
(2) I shut down. That is to say, I cease caring, and so as not to piss off anyone (or allow them to see my complete and utter lack of interest) I put on my best poker face, half tune them out (I need to have some sense of what's going on) and then daydream outfits I am going to wear tomorrow.
History would show that these are the two behavioral patterns I tend toward--blowing up or shutting down, which sounds a little bit like the behavioral pattern of a robot--you know, one that's not well-equipped to function in certain intolerable circumstances.
(1) I get angry and then challenge the annoying/mean/rude/crazy/intolerable person (challenge can be any form of contradicting said person; or pointing out their flaws, talking back, giving attitude; general flipping out) which then gets me into a lot of trouble. Some results of this behavior are either I get in trouble, a teacher is fired, I am fired, or the words I have spoken burn with the SWEET SMELL OF THE TRUTH and therefore my heavy attack, while inappropriate, is ultimately deemed by all to be profound words of wisdom that cannot be ignored. And then all bow down before me.
(2) I shut down. That is to say, I cease caring, and so as not to piss off anyone (or allow them to see my complete and utter lack of interest) I put on my best poker face, half tune them out (I need to have some sense of what's going on) and then daydream outfits I am going to wear tomorrow.
History would show that these are the two behavioral patterns I tend toward--blowing up or shutting down, which sounds a little bit like the behavioral pattern of a robot--you know, one that's not well-equipped to function in certain intolerable circumstances.
Monday, November 17, 2008
Three Things I Would Want to Have if Stranded on a Desert Island
1.) Aquaphor
2.) A book... The Bible, I guess
3.) My pillow (it's tempurpedic)
2.) A book... The Bible, I guess
3.) My pillow (it's tempurpedic)
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Happy Holidays to Me
Loyal Readers:
At last, the moment you’ve all been waiting for! Yes, folks, it’s not even Thanksgiving yet, but I am in the holiday spirit, and what better way to celebrate these hard economic times by taking a gander at my ridiculous Christmas list. Yes, it’s disgusting. I will make no attempt to act like I am kind and selfless and good and not at all spoiled. I will say, however, recently I've mentioned maybe an alternative to gift-giving, but my dad and stepmom protest and so I don’t even bother anymore and just send them all my hearts desires per their request.
Below, for your enjoyment, is the email chain. Chain might be an improper term here, because we will likely never see a list from my brother (and if we do it will be the day before Christmas) and my dad will not respond (it all comes back to his wallet anyway).
So below, find the Christmas list exchange between my stepmom and I, and afterwards we’ll examine my selections.
Some thoughts (I wrote this yesterday so today I’ve got some perspective, OBV):
At last, the moment you’ve all been waiting for! Yes, folks, it’s not even Thanksgiving yet, but I am in the holiday spirit, and what better way to celebrate these hard economic times by taking a gander at my ridiculous Christmas list. Yes, it’s disgusting. I will make no attempt to act like I am kind and selfless and good and not at all spoiled. I will say, however, recently I've mentioned maybe an alternative to gift-giving, but my dad and stepmom protest and so I don’t even bother anymore and just send them all my hearts desires per their request.
Below, for your enjoyment, is the email chain. Chain might be an improper term here, because we will likely never see a list from my brother (and if we do it will be the day before Christmas) and my dad will not respond (it all comes back to his wallet anyway).
So below, find the Christmas list exchange between my stepmom and I, and afterwards we’ll examine my selections.
On Thu, Nov 6, 2008 at 9:08 AM, Carla Weisberg wrote:
hi you two-
to help us bring a little more cheer and a lot less disappointment to your upcoming holiday season I am looking for the coveted top ten (give or take) list from each of you.
can't promise everything of course, but last I checked, santa's a pretty nice guy.
annie you get double duty, so give us a slightly bigger list seeing it's your birthday too
and while I would love to give you a gift certificate to whole paycheck, please think festive as well
xcOn Mon, Nov 10, 2008 at 6:26 PM, Annie Stamell wrote:
You really don't have to get me anything (not like I will be able to afford buying presents), but I know you want a list anyway...
Ski trip
48 more sessions with trainer at Equinox (FYI as of Wednesday I am starting with new
person)
a few weeks of Pilates sessions with instructor at Equinox
A full session of Tennis lessons at Beverly Hills Tennis Center (www.beverlyhillstennis.com)
This jacket (Men's S, "Natural"): http://www.patagonia.com/web/us/product/product_focus.jsp?OPTION=PRODUCT_FOCUS_DISPLAY_HANDLER&catcode=MAIN_FA_US.CLOTHING_GEAR.MENS.JACKETS&style_color=23055-723&ws= or this jacket (Women's M, "Blackberry - Lupine" I don't know,
surprise me), http://www.patagonia.com/web/us/product/product_focus.jsp?OPTION=PRODUCT_FOCUS_DISPLAY_HANDLER&catcode=MAIN_FA_US.CLOTHING_GEAR.WOMENS.JACKETS&style_color=25475-769&ws=)
Gift certificate to LuluLemon (need new pants, like some of these: http://www.lululemon.com/products/womens/bottoms/pants)
Gift certificate to J. Crew, Anthropologie, Bloomingdales, or Madewell (http://www.madewell1937.com)
Gift certificate to Whole Foods
Gift certificate to iTunes
Money for a pair of cowboy boots
A leather bag that is red, orange or yellow
A black or grey clutch
Money for a monthly cleaning lady
Hanky Panky Thongs (they are one size fits all--any and all colors)
Athletic socks
Spinning shoes
Infinite Jest by
David Foster Wallace
Subscription to the New Yorker (FROM XMAS LAST YEAR, this still has not come BTW)
Gas card
Someone to pay off my AmEx and/or Chase Cards
A pay raise
Peas on Earth
JOSH PLEASE NOTE I DON'T WANT 24 this year! Don't watch it anymore... you don't have to get me anything actually... I don't have any money to get anyone anything so please feel free to reciprocate that...
Please note I really just want more sessions with the trainer at Equinox and Pilates and Tennis lessons the most.
Maybe I will think of more things. But that is all I got at the moment.
Some thoughts (I wrote this yesterday so today I’ve got some perspective, OBV):
1.) I sound quite apathetic. No, forlorn. Yes forlorn. Sadly, I have no money to buy anyone presents, so it’s really uncomfortable asking for them.
2.) I am obsessed with working out. This is true. I do love to work out, and the higher rated things on the list all relate to exercise somehow—you could even argue the Patagonia jackets and cowboy boots do.
3.) I don’t trust my family to buy me things I actually want. Hence the request for gift certificates to specific stores.
4.) I have no money for basic amenities—hence my need for groceries, gas, socks, a cleaning lady, and someone to pay off my credit cards
5.) I am a little bitter about not having received my New Yorker subscription from last year
6.) I’m funny. (See “A pay raise” or “Peas on Earth”)
7.) I don’t want my brother to buy me another season of 24 which I have clearly signaled to him in ALL CAPITAL LETTERS SO THAT WHEN HE IS QUICKLY GLANCING AT THIS EMAIL A FEW MONTHS FROM NOW HE MIGHT CATCH THAT PART.
8.) I want a very intense, very long, very deep book by an author who recently and tragically killed himself (see Infinte Jest by David Foster Wallace). I’m obviously feeling quite lighthearted this year.
9.) I really just want to exercise. That's all. Call me simple, but I guess that's what's going to keep me happy these days.
Fascinating stuff, no?
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