Wednesday, December 03, 2008

ways in which I am similar to a robot

Sometimes I get very frustrated with people and these people are often those one might encounter in the workplace or classroom or the locker room of the gym or occasionally they are people you hated in high school and have never stopped hating. My reaction to such types interests me--I think I often have either two responses, both which lead me to think I am a little bit like a robot.

(1) I get angry and then challenge the annoying/mean/rude/crazy/intolerable person (challenge can be any form of contradicting said person; or pointing out their flaws, talking back, giving attitude; general flipping out) which then gets me into a lot of trouble. Some results of this behavior are either I get in trouble, a teacher is fired, I am fired, or the words I have spoken burn with the SWEET SMELL OF THE TRUTH and therefore my heavy attack, while inappropriate, is ultimately deemed by all to be profound words of wisdom that cannot be ignored. And then all bow down before me.

(2) I shut down. That is to say, I cease caring, and so as not to piss off anyone (or allow them to see my complete and utter lack of interest) I put on my best poker face, half tune them out (I need to have some sense of what's going on) and then daydream outfits I am going to wear tomorrow.

History would show that these are the two behavioral patterns I tend toward--blowing up or shutting down, which sounds a little bit like the behavioral pattern of a robot--you know, one that's not well-equipped to function in certain intolerable circumstances.

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