This & That

+I've started a little guest-blogging stint for Zap2it.com - check out my piece "Stamos on Stamos" (more entries forthcoming) for a little taste. Mayhaps my dream for the "Stamos vs. Stamos Reality Show" is closer to becoming a reality. The irony in all this - at least, it's ironic to me - is that I never was really a diehard fan of John Stamos. It's just my nickname. And I happen to share the name with someone quite famous, which has led to a lot of funny posturing and comparisons (from my end, obv).  Thanks to Twitter for confusing everyone...

+In the world of TV and TV-watching, I'm already feeling pretty burnt out. Last night I was going through my DVR and caught at least 6 shows I'm already sufficiently behind in. Thing is, I am totally okay with that. That's the thing about people who work in television - they don't actually have time to watch TV. As long as I watch all the pilots and sort of just stay looped in, I am totally okay with not devoting the hours upon hours required for watching everything. Especially when I'd rather spend my free time Monday night working on my writing.

+Speaking of writing, it's so fun being in a class again - granted, it makes me really long for college days, but it's pretty great walking around the UCLA campus and going to classes.  Even better is this writing class is going to force me to start and make a dent in a new project entirely - I'm looking forward to that.

+I'm still convinced we're having an earthquake every five minutes. Okay, not that often but I swear to God I feel earthquakes all the time.

+I kind of want to learn how to play golf. It was the one country club sport I never learned, mostly because I spent most of my time at the club in the pool or being forced to tennis lessons. I feel like now I might really enjoy golf. I'm going to look into that.

+Why is it that the month following Labor Day is always so packed and stressful? It's as though this is the real start to the year - the real time for resolutions and plans.  Not sure I'm sticking to any of my goals. I think I need to find a better balance for my weekends where I am a little more productive and a little less not-sober. Ha. Or I need to figure out how to survive on less sleep. I once heard that Bill Clinton trained himself to get only 5 hours of sleep a night and it made a world of difference. How can I do that?

Federer is a God

Not like we should be surprised but HOLY SHIT this shot is UNREAL. Dude better win the final...

Introducing, for the first time ever, A REAL VACATION

Hello friends, loyal readers, family members, and whoever it is that searched "can I smoke a cigarette with my jaw wired shut" (no you cannot, and what are you doing smoking in the first place? It's so passé); I have an announcement:

I am going on vacation. Yes, a REAL vacation; I am not bringing my computer with me.

Please, pick up your suddenly dropped jaw up off the floor and pretend to not be so surprised! It is true--for the next 10 days I shall be computer free.*

What a momentous occasion this is! I am not only going to be computer free, but temporarily JOB FREE. (Is this what it was like during the Neolithic Age or something? Shall I become a hunter and gatherer? The nomadic life would suit me well, I think it would!). Yes, I am going to be completely unhinged, detached and enjoying every second of it. There will be dancing, and swimming, and sailing, and kayaking, and running, and tennis, and laughter OH THE LAUGHTER!

I anticipate that I will experience slight withdrawal, almost at once, however I will have a six hour plane ride to New York to prepare** and then I will be swept away from one activity to the next, from the city to Rye for a wedding, back to the city briefly and then off to Maine--the true one and only love of my life. Computer shumputer. I don't need that nonsense! I'm bringing four books! And a journal! I am going to love it!***

*I will have my iPhone as well as access to my dad's laptop and probably my step-mom's too. So maybe I am exaggerating. So maybe I am not completely without computer access. But this is HUGE for me, am I right or am I right?
**By prepare, I mean take a Xanax and pass out.
***Within three hours I will be freaking out and will take more Xanax.

Discovery: Quiznos is Suprisingly Delish

That Taco Bell mention yesterday fueled a lot of fast food conversations with various people, one of whom strongly suggested I try out Quiznos. I have been a longtime fan of Subway and since I was in middle school I've gotten the same sandwich. Want to hear it? I'm going to tell you anyway. It's weird... ready? Okay: Turkey, Pickles and Peppers. That's it. Sometimes provolone. It's heavenly. Seriously. It is!

But anyway, after my tennis classes Tuesday nights I often stop at a Subway on the way home because I am so damn hungry, but after tennis last night I decided to get crazy and mix things up with a trip to Quiznos.

I have to admit, going to a chain restaurant and having never been before makes me nervous. I don't know what to get, what the protocol is, what's good, what's not good, etc. I WAS SCARED. But then I spotted a delicious looking classic sub--the Italian (which I have to point out, is not at all the same as the version of the Italian I grew up loving in Maine, but the more standard version) and sure enough, it was divine. Quiznos gives Subway some SERIOUS competition. And I am excited because I am playing tennis twice this week so I am thinking after tomorrow's session I might have to make a repeat trip.

Food Coma

Had one of those monthly lunches with co-workers (gotta love corporate bonding) and I am now suffering a severe food coma. WHAT DID I HAVE FOR LUNCH? I will tell you. I split (with my friend who I shall refer to as V) a salad and a turkey burger and both were delish. And now I just want to take a little sleep on my desk. However, I do believe that sort of thing is frowned upon.

In other news, I just read a fascinating New Yorker piece that, among other things, looked at the longstanding pop culture obsession with vampires. It's really an astute point. Which makes me wonder, what IS IT with people loving vampires? I mean shit I would be all about having a forbidden love with Edward Cullen or Angel ANY day (but not that Bill dude on True Blood, he's gross), so my next question is, does that make me extra weird? (I say EXTRA because I am already regular weird). Maybe I am just a hopeless romantic? (Ew. I also like a nice steak and long walks on the beach). Maybe I am a tween? Maybe I should go write some shitty fan-fiction and publish millions of books to angsty tweens/housewives Twilight style? I mean, think about it. Anytime anyone writes a book or creates a film that has something to do with vampires people go nutso for it. Clearly, the human inclination is for a sadistic obsession with a blood-sucking demon, so perhaps I should look for a way to capitalize on our perverse nature.

Anyway I have big plans tonight to purchase a tennis skirt and tennis shoes. See, now that I am SERIOUS about tennis (and seriously less terrible than I was--still moderately terrible, though) I need to start looking the part a little more. This doesn't mean I will cease attending classes in various themes (various themes usually translate to anything 80s when it comes to me), but I need some more appropriate/practical clothes (aka a pair of shoes that prevents me from falling, which almost happened in Sunday's lesson).

Okay I have to go procrastinate some and then I have to stare blankly at my computer screen and then I have to daydream and then I have to think about doing work and then I am going to have to do all the work I have to do in the last hour during which I am supposed to be here.

Adieu.

Free Association

It’s Wednesday. Of course it’s raining today. The weather the past few days has been very odd. Crazy hot and sunny this weekend, dreary on Monday, sunny again Tuesday, torrential downpour Wednesday. I’m curious to see what Mother Nature has in store the rest of the week. Who knew LA weather could be so interesting. Isn't it? Aren't you fascinated by my weather reports? I sure am.

Speaking of interesting, last night Adam and I went to tennis at a new night and time because we’d finally had enough of our poor excuse for an instructor and delinquent classmates. Honestly, it was as though we were in an outreach program at the local playground where people happened to be swinging rackets around. We thought we were the best in the class, and that we were really improving. That is, until, we joined this other class with a competent instructor and realized that for the past 6 weeks we really had been in an outreach program. We learned more in the first 10 minutes than in all previous classes with Captain Shitty Coach Who Loves Innuendo. Of course this class was made up of 4 other women, all in their late 20s (I’d guess), except for one highly Type A competitive bitch, who we decided was 38, single, and although she was similar to one of the Plastics of Mean Girls, she was really just a huge tool (Adam and I might be more like the Plastics of Mean Girls, in retrospect). At one point I saw her shooting me dagger eyes while I was practicing serving and I turned around to face her and she spluttered out “that was a good serve” in her least convincing/most-machine like voice. It was uncomfortable. Final decision? It’s private lessons from here on out.

And in other news, if you haven't already noticed, I figured out how to get my Twitter feed on the blog (look to the right). Very exciting. For you. Obviously. What does this mean? This means that in addition to daily posts you now can come back here for regular updates in 140 characters or less! I still recommend getting on Twitter (and trust me, once you are there you will soon get addicted), but now it's a little microblog on the blog. GOD IS ANYONE AS OBSSESED WITH ME AS I SEEM TO BE? Seriously I could use a good slap in the face right now.

Speaking of face, mine is starting to peel a little bit. I'd forgotten how much I love being tan. I know that sounds shocking, considering I often contemplate my battle with tanorexia, but in the winter I let myself go.

And with that I am going to go... I've been dreaming up this whole opinion piece (because I never write my opinion) on the case for Twitter, but I feel like I've already beaten that one to death, so I'll spare you that, for now.

Speaking of beating to death, the roommates and I are still getting many a laugh out of the story of the woman who's pet chimp went AWOL and tore off her friend's face, prompting her to tell the police "shoot on sight" and that when she stabbed her beloved pet it was though he looked up at her saying, "why Mommy!"

Oh and speaking of the roommates we are getting our nasty carpet cleaned today. I'll believe it when I see it.

The Tennis Chronicles

So Monday night was another Tennis lesson. This time Adam and I were separated almost 5 minutes into class because we were talking during lessons, and having way too much exclusive fun and I think Instructor Russ--who may or may not be attractive, (and may or may not be married) knows we are just superior players to the other three dudes in the class--hence separation.

Additionally, I learned that tennis has a LOT of innuendo. It's funny at first but then you don't want to hear Instructor Russ talking about his "assload of balls" or how the "coach balls are the best because they are harder" or "whacking balls with a stick." I MEAN REALLY.

And we were once again reminded that Beverly Hills Tennis only cares about Jews because Martin Luther King Day is not a holiday in their opinion. Well excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse me.

Balls.

Tennis is AWESOME

Last night I started my tennis lessons. They were AWESOME. Even better is taking them with a friend you've known since kindergarten. A highlight: (besides kicking ass, making the instructor laugh so hard at our insane competitiveness he lost track of the score, and beating the other players) would be the following exchange.

Adam: "If we need to miss a day can we make it up another class?"
Pro-shop Dude: "No."
Adam: "What about holidays, do you recognize Martin Luther King Day?"
Dude: "The only holidays we recognize are the Jewish ones."
Adam & Myself: Rude laughter, then sudden realization dude is not kidding.

Oh LA.

And now, what you've ALL been waiting for!

So I bet you woke up yesterday morning and thought to yourself, I wonder if Annie got everything she asked for for Christmas (list refresher here). And let me tell you right now: I didn't.

But THAT, my friends, is OKAY. Of course it is! What would Christmas be without disappointment?

HOWEVER, let me tell you all about the exciting presents I did find under our tree this year.

(I should preface this by saying in my family it's a bit of an unconventional Christmas--my brother and I have our own traditions in the morning, then we spend the bulk of the day with family friends, and return home to find our dad and step-mom have dutifully played the role of Santa and our tree is once again replenished with gifts.)

This year Josh (my brother) and I decided that rather than spend money we don't have on gifts, let's be as frugal as possible. I gave him some scripts (because he is an ACTOR) and a $75 gift card to iTunes (that I obv didn't pay for--re-gifted company holiday bonus present, duh).

As for me?

As we ALL know (by we, I mean you, me and the handful of other readers of this here blog--a few of which have come out of the woodwork since I've been back in the hometown I might add) my tastes are not that different from that of a 12 year old boy, circa 1999. My big present from my brother was... a NINTENDO GAME CUBE! In fact, his Nintendo Game Cube, that he got for Christmas... circa 1999! YES. (Long time readers may recall I asked him for this like 6 months ago so it's about time he delivered.) Most exciting would be the games he included, and the only 4 I could possibly want:
The Mega Sonic Collection (I am SO going to re-beat Sonic 2),
MarioKart Double Dash (even better than the N64 version, I SWEAR),
Zelda (because I am SO Link--see previous post about LARPing outfit), and
Paper Mario which apparently is SWEET (direct quote from my SISTER--not really my sister but we call each other that OKAY--"i want to play paper mario sooooo bad. the possible combo of south park mediums and maaaaaaario make me quite giddy.")

ALSO, Josh gave me a comic book that has FANTASTIC FOUR AND IRON MAN which is AWESOME because I am starting to read more comic books (as opposed to only watching the movies--like I said, HUGE NERD).

When the parentalish units arrived, real presents came--such as tennis lessons (hurrah! It was on the list!), a gift certificate to LuLu Lemon (as was also asked for), and my most prized new possession--A BUTTER DISH (get excited, roommates!). There were other fun things, but I believe these are most worth noting. I did a handful of shopping in NYC prior to getting to Maine so I think all the new clothes are essentially Christmas presents as well (lotsa new shoes, Cowboy boots included).

It was a nice little Christmas this year--usually my brother and I get stressed out spending money we don't have on each other and this year it was awesome not to spend a dime. And the less presents you get the more you get to sleep in. WHICH IS AWESOME.

On a more serious note--it is SO nice to be home and to see all the friends and family I don't get to see during the rest of the year. I honestly love my community here in Maine and love running into so many people. The salt of the earth! And I love getting to where my BEAN BOOTS ALL THE TIME. BEAN BOOTS ARE AWESOME.

Well it's about 3pm here and I am still in my PJs. VACATION IS AWESOME!

Happy Holidays to Me

Loyal Readers:

At last, the moment you’ve all been waiting for! Yes, folks, it’s not even Thanksgiving yet, but I am in the holiday spirit, and what better way to celebrate these hard economic times by taking a gander at my ridiculous Christmas list. Yes, it’s disgusting. I will make no attempt to act like I am kind and selfless and good and not at all spoiled. I will say, however, recently I've mentioned maybe an alternative to gift-giving, but my dad and stepmom protest and so I don’t even bother anymore and just send them all my hearts desires per their request.

Below, for your enjoyment, is the email chain. Chain might be an improper term here, because we will likely never see a list from my brother (and if we do it will be the day before Christmas) and my dad will not respond (it all comes back to his wallet anyway).

So below, find the Christmas list exchange between my stepmom and I, and afterwards we’ll examine my selections.

On Thu, Nov 6, 2008 at 9:08 AM, Carla Weisberg wrote:

hi you two-
to help us bring a little more cheer and a lot less disappointment to your upcoming holiday season I am looking for the coveted top ten (give or take) list from each of you.
can't promise everything of course, but last I checked, santa's a pretty nice guy.

annie you get double duty, so give us a slightly bigger list seeing it's your birthday too
and while I would love to give you a gift certificate to whole paycheck, please think festive as well

xc

On Mon, Nov 10, 2008 at 6:26 PM, Annie Stamell wrote:

You really don't have to get me anything (not like I will be able to afford buying presents), but I know you want a list anyway...

Ski trip
48 more sessions with trainer at Equinox (FYI as of Wednesday I am starting with new
person)
a few weeks of Pilates sessions with instructor at Equinox
A full session of Tennis lessons at Beverly Hills Tennis Center (www.beverlyhillstennis.com)
This jacket (Men's S, "Natural"): http://www.patagonia.com/web/us/product/product_focus.jsp?OPTION=PRODUCT_FOCUS_DISPLAY_HANDLER&catcode=MAIN_FA_US.CLOTHING_GEAR.MENS.JACKETS&style_color=23055-723&ws= or this jacket (Women's M, "Blackberry - Lupine" I don't know,
surprise me), http://www.patagonia.com/web/us/product/product_focus.jsp?OPTION=PRODUCT_FOCUS_DISPLAY_HANDLER&catcode=MAIN_FA_US.CLOTHING_GEAR.WOMENS.JACKETS&style_color=25475-769&ws=)
Gift certificate to LuluLemon (need new pants, like some of these: http://www.lululemon.com/products/womens/bottoms/pants)
Gift certificate to J. Crew, Anthropologie, Bloomingdales, or Madewell (http://www.madewell1937.com)
Gift certificate to Whole Foods
Gift certificate to iTunes
Money for a pair of cowboy boots
A leather bag that is red, orange or yellow
A black or grey clutch
Money for a monthly cleaning lady
Hanky Panky Thongs (they are one size fits all--any and all colors)
Athletic socks
Spinning shoes
Infinite Jest by
David Foster Wallace
Subscription to the New Yorker (FROM XMAS LAST YEAR, this still has not come BTW)
Gas card
Someone to pay off my AmEx and/or Chase Cards
A pay raise
Peas on Earth

JOSH PLEASE NOTE I DON'T WANT 24 this year! Don't watch it anymore... you don't have to get me anything actually... I don't have any money to get anyone anything so please feel free to reciprocate that...

Please note I really just want more sessions with the trainer at Equinox and Pilates and Tennis lessons the most.

Maybe I will think of more things. But that is all I got at the moment.

Some thoughts (I wrote this yesterday so today I’ve got some perspective, OBV):

1.) I sound quite apathetic. No, forlorn. Yes forlorn. Sadly, I have no money to buy anyone presents, so it’s really uncomfortable asking for them.
2.) I am obsessed with working out. This is true. I do love to work out, and the higher rated things on the list all relate to exercise somehow—you could even argue the Patagonia jackets and cowboy boots do.
3.) I don’t trust my family to buy me things I actually want. Hence the request for gift certificates to specific stores.
4.) I have no money for basic amenities—hence my need for groceries, gas, socks, a cleaning lady, and someone to pay off my credit cards
5.) I am a little bitter about not having received my New Yorker subscription from last year
6.) I’m funny. (See “A pay raise” or “Peas on Earth”)
7.) I don’t want my brother to buy me another season of 24 which I have clearly signaled to him in ALL CAPITAL LETTERS SO THAT WHEN HE IS QUICKLY GLANCING AT THIS EMAIL A FEW MONTHS FROM NOW HE MIGHT CATCH THAT PART.
8.) I want a very intense, very long, very deep book by an author who recently and tragically killed himself (see Infinte Jest by David Foster Wallace). I’m obviously feeling quite lighthearted this year.
9.) I really just want to exercise. That's all. Call me simple, but I guess that's what's going to keep me happy these days.

Fascinating stuff, no?