Hello friends, loyal readers, family members, and whoever it is that searched "can I smoke a cigarette with my jaw wired shut" (no you cannot, and what are you doing smoking in the first place? It's so passé); I have an announcement:
I am going on vacation. Yes, a REAL vacation; I am not bringing my computer with me.
Please, pick up your suddenly dropped jaw up off the floor and pretend to not be so surprised! It is true--for the next 10 days I shall be computer free.*
What a momentous occasion this is! I am not only going to be computer free, but temporarily JOB FREE. (Is this what it was like during the Neolithic Age or something? Shall I become a hunter and gatherer? The nomadic life would suit me well, I think it would!). Yes, I am going to be completely unhinged, detached and enjoying every second of it. There will be dancing, and swimming, and sailing, and kayaking, and running, and tennis, and laughter OH THE LAUGHTER!
I anticipate that I will experience slight withdrawal, almost at once, however I will have a six hour plane ride to New York to prepare** and then I will be swept away from one activity to the next, from the city to Rye for a wedding, back to the city briefly and then off to Maine--the true one and only love of my life. Computer shumputer. I don't need that nonsense! I'm bringing four books! And a journal! I am going to love it!***
*I will have my iPhone as well as access to my dad's laptop and probably my step-mom's too. So maybe I am exaggerating. So maybe I am not completely without computer access. But this is HUGE for me, am I right or am I right?
**By prepare, I mean take a Xanax and pass out.
***Within three hours I will be freaking out and will take more Xanax.