Appointment Television

For the first time in my life, I have found a crappy reality show that I absolutely cannot wait to watch, and a show I wish I had competed on. Finally, someone realized they could profit off of the genius of MXC and has sent a bunch of Americans to Japan to participate in those hilarious/bizarre competitions including human tetris, among other things. Admit it, you'd love to see me attempt to velcro myself to a wall.

Ladies and Gentlemen: I Survived A Japanese Game Show!

Because Fashion Leads to Muslim Extremism?

This is ridiculous: Dunkin Donuts has had to pull an add featuring Rachael Ray, in which she wears a scarf that apparently suggests she is some militant Islamist. Are. You. Kidding. Me. All conservatives should be ashamed of themselves right now, and should reassess their fashion choices. Personally, I like her scarf. Big scar fan. Does this make me a Muslim extremist? Not so much.



Read HuffPo's commentary of this here.

Things I've Learned About Hollywood

This is a new feature you can expect to find on the blog... a few comments and observations about the things I have learned and am learning about Hollywood and the entertainment industry.

Today's Lesson (which I will offer with little explanation, because I feel that one would be superlative and unnecessary):

People in this town are certifiably batshit crazy.

Defamer's Secret Agenda, CAA vs. UTA?

Can anyone confirm that Defamer (part of the Gawker webiverse of publishing) is represented by UTA? Some CAA assistants mentioned this to me a while back, as an explanation for Defamer's constant ragging on the lovely Death Star. It is fitting, if you think about the constant digs on CAA and suggestions that they microwave babies for lunch. Amusing sure, but a little fishy if you ask me. This article only makes me wonder... Sure Defamer is attempting to defend themselves vs. CAA vs. FOX vs. Nikki Finke (God bless this lovely and bizarre industry) but I find it strangely suspicious that UTA is hardly ever ripped into, especially considering the recent agent changes that went on there. Food for thought.

(And I realize if you ain't in the Biz you probably won't give a shit about any of this. Humor me. Actually I don't really care either. Huh.)

Some Wednesday Nostalgia

This isn't the Captain Planet intro you're hoping for. No the song isn't there, because we all know that ("Captain Planet, he's a hero... gonna take pollution down to zero..."). Instead, let's revisit our planeteers:



Personal favorites include Minka from the then-existent Soviet Union, and the South American chick with the power of "heart" who I coincidentally portrayed for Halloween my senior year of college. It was a weaker gathering, with just three planeteers (we did get the official t-shirts), and a female Captain Planet (although her royal blue spandex and Captain-like presence made up for the gender replacement).

Saving the environment is sooooo IN right now. Do we have Captain Planet to thank? Maybe... maybe.

Han Solo/Indiana Jones/Harrison Ford

This morning I went crazy. Not really, but I was just very OFF. Like when putting together my snacks for the work day I had serious difficulty locating a bag of carrots in my fridge, so much so that I had to ask my roommate for help (sorry Ashleigh). I then nearly caused not one, but two accidents, once while pulling out of my apartment building and again when trying to parallel park in front of the Starbucks on San Vicente by the Brentwood Country Mart.

Speaking of, the Brentwood Country Mart officially rivals the West Hollywood Equinox for Most Likely Place to See a Celebrity (or something). After a crappy parallel parking job I walked to the Starbucks, noting two bicyclists riding by. As they rode past, a car pulling out of the lot stopped and waited for them as well. One of the bikers waved and then said to his friend, "hey that's Harrison Ford!" Thanks to my high powered hearing skills I caught this little aside and whipped my head around just in time to get a glimpse of Indiana Jones himself (you'll always be Han Solo to me Harrison). How exciting! He looks like any other older guy, seemed pretty nice letting those bikers pass, and was driving a pretty standard looking Mercedes station wagon.

Then I had to wait for fifteen minutes in line for a latte (and a small one too because the Starbucks sizes confuse me and I always order tall when I should order grande, but wouldn't you think the tall would be tall?) and then I had the lengthy commute to work at which point I interrupted my dad in a meeting to tell him about Han Solo. He didn't care.

So that's that. Harrison Ford! Interestingly enough, and surprisingly--considering my established dork status, I am not sure I even want to see the new Indiana Jones. I loved the first three but feel pretty meh about this one. It was never the film trilogy that captured my heart when growing up. That of course, was Star Wars. Yes, I spent my formative years loving droids, ewoks, the Death Star, the ice planet Hoth, the symphonies of John Williams, and the power of the force. And Han Solo, who looks far less cool in a benz wagon than in the Millennium Falcon.

Yikes

After re-reading that last post about my serious existential crisis, it would appear I need therapy.

Nope, that's what the blog is for.

I am such a product of my generation. Entitled, media savvy, hooked up to the digital age... sometimes I wish I had grown up in simpler times. Now excuse me while I dramatically sigh and indulge my self-involvement for a little while longer.

Existential Crisis #347

Does anyone else feel as though their days are constantly addled by existential crises? Seriously. I think once or twice a day I have a moment where massive feelings of uncertainty, self-doubt, and frustration overwhelm my psyche.

Okay I am obviously being over dramatic. Thing is, and I am going to be truthful and honest here (because I never really tell you how I feel--all that stuff about Celine Dion and my love for young adult fantasy novels are just lies I make up to look cool), I am in my first job out of college and I am rapidly discovering that it isn't the right job for me (let's hope my current boss never gets wind of this blog, for that comment and all the times I talk about taking naps on his sofa when he's out of town).

Anyway, here are some of the questions flooding my brain... I am essentially a secretary with few other qualifications. While "being on a desk" for a few years is industry standard, I am not sure where in this industry I belong, which means if I wanted to maybe do something else I have few high level skills. But wait a minute, this is definitely the industry I want to be in, because didn't I move all the way across the country to be here? So if that's the case, and I am pretty sure I don't want to be an agent or a manager, then what do I want to do? Do I want to be on the marketing end of the business? I feel like in marketing you at least gain a skill set that transfers (say I ever wanted to move elsewhere or work in the non entertainment world). Or in theatrical publicity? Or in television? We all know I love, love, love television and it's a world I would definitely be thrilled to be involved with. But do I want to be at a studio or network overseeing current programming or development or do I want to be an assistant to a producer or a director? Or do I want to be a writer's assistant or staffed on a show? And can I really fathom another few years as an assistant? Is your brain exploding with all my questions? I am amazed mine hasn't yet!

So, I am trying to figure out what I want to do or what I would be good at doing and I am not sure. I want to be smarter about the next job I take... I know I can look at it as just a job, another learning experience, and it isn't going to rule the rest of my life, but I am also feeling some anxiety... I am 24 and I have a college degree but what else? What professional skills can I boast? I want a position where I enjoy what I am doing but I can also make money... yeah sure, that's what everyone wants, but shouldn't I expect AND demand greatness for myself?

OH MY GOD I CAN'T STOP. This existential crisis is close to spinning out of control. The comforting thing is I know a lot of assistants out there feel the same way. And even if they don't seem to be quite so confused or self-doubting, as a fellow beleaguered assistant-friend of mine just said, they're lying.

Spotted!

Hey Jaw Wired Shut-ers, Gossip Girl here. Actually not the REAL Gossip Girl, but your favorite West Coast GG wannabe.

Spotted Monday night around 6 pm at Urth Cafe on Main St in Santa Monica: Little T. That's little Jenny Humphrey to you GG fans, or the minuscule actress Taylor Momsen. Little T was looking pretty down and out while staring into her perfectly trendy California cuisine. Maybe it was the fact she was wearing high top converse with a flowing skirt? Could it be that her pale NY skin can't handle the LA sun? It looked like her momager's overuse of make up and animal prints might have something to do with Little T's scowl. In any case, that 14 year old looked like she could use some cheering up. Don't worry T, summer hiatus will fly by and you can go back to hanging out with twenty something year olds on set again (unless you want to move in with me and my friends. We'd totally help you on your math homework and stuff... too creepy?).

Until September... see you on Main St.

Who am I? I'll never tell (I'm so discreet).
You know you love me,
XOXO
Stamos

Milk: It does not always do a body good

This is just a reminder to always check the date on your milk carton before you proceed to pour and then drink the milk. Even if it says the "sell by" date is May 31, and it's only May 26, it might be a lie. I discovered this the hard way. It was disgusting. I probably should have known something was up when I took a sniff prior to drinking, and thought hmm this does smell a little off but it's probably fine. Not fine. At all.

Why Entertainment Weekly Should Hire Me

Please click on this link and begin watching the video.

After you've done so, imagine, me doing just what those two Entertainment Weekly bloggers/reporters/scribes just did. Now think about it... wouldn't you so rather watch me playing Wii Fit? No offense to Michael Slezak and Annie Barrett (whose writing I always enjoy because yes I am an EW stalker and know far too much about their staff) but personally, I think I am a much more attractive candidate for these sorts of EW-only videos. In fact, I think the magazine could really benefit from taking me on. Blogger extraordinaire, happy to mug for the camera, willing and ready to share my opinions on The Hills, Celine Dion and pop culture as a means of curing world suffering... I am primed and ready to bring the bold claims of Jaw Wired Shut to the greater public (not that my daily average of 40 readers or so isn't so bad--but I'm ready for the next step, if I can toot my own horn here... toot toot).

How about this: let's start a campaign to get me hired as a video blogger/staff writer for Entertainment Weekly. It's the missing piece they never knew they needed! Details for the Petition to Hire Annie Stamell are forthcoming... until then... just bombard their website with links to my blog? Maybe that will work...

Why I Love Celine Dion, Pt. 6

Can you tell who in this photo is made of wax and who isn't? (Hint: the child is an illusion. No self-respecting mother would allow her son to wear his hair like that. Although I am not sure Celine is self-respecting...)

The (Japanese/British/American) Office

Please watch this clip from SNL. It's a hilarious jest in which Ricky Gervais explains that The Office actually originates in Japan. "It's funny because it's racist."



They should really be calling this season of SNL the Kristen Wiig Show... she blows it out of the park yet again.

Family Guy Friday

Because it's the Friday before a holiday weekend and no one wants to be at work right now...







And one of my favorite Family Guy features, the fake commercials:

Pet Peeves (Part Three of an Endless, Multi-Part Series)

Pet Peeve:
Rising gas prices. Okay so this one is obvious, but COME ON. I filled up my car today, after the gas light had been on for twenty minutes and I passed 4 gas stations in search of the lowest price, I finally found a pump offering regular unleaded for under $4. What a luxury. A LUXURY! That is outrageous. It should not cost me $50 to fill up my car with one tanks of gas. ONE! As Vizzini would say, INCONCEIVABLE!

Pet Peeve:
Cars that clearly shouldn't be driving in the left lane. This infuriates me. If you are driving slower, or happen to notice that every car behind you is passing you, then why slow Taco truck, oh why, do you insist at driving 20 mph slower thane everyone else in the left lane. Ooooh this makes me so mad.

Pet Peeve:
Mayonnaise. Don't get me started on this nasty, smelly, stinky, fattening goo that most Americans love to smather over everything. I can't get within five feet of mayo or else I want to vomit. My disgust for mayo includes coleslaw, chicken salad, and sometimes Caesar salad dressing. Blech.

TV Obsession/Love

Sometimes I think about my emotional attachment to a specific television show and I worry about myself. I worry about my sanity, me mental state, and the effect such a love might have on my ability to socialize. But then I think about all the other people who build similar attachments, all the other fans who devote an hour every week to watch a fictional drama enfold. I think I'll be okay.

I have watched Grey's Anatomy since its first season and was hooked from the start, not because of the romances--I was actually never a fan of the Meredith-Derek on and off relationship, they just annoy me--but I loved the show for its story lines, sharp dialouge and fun characters. Over the course of its run, my enthusiasm has waxed and waned, but somewhere during season two it reached obsessive, then dying down around the miserable plot lines of the second half of the third season.

Since the strike's end and the final airing of this season's remaining episodes, I've definitely felt the old Grey's Anatomy I first loved from season one is back, and last night's season finale seemed to encapsulate this effortless return to form. I even rejoiced at the long-time-coming resolution between Grey and her McDreamy, and am not going to lie that a tear or two escaped my eyes. Other highlights included the incredible moment in which Dr. Bailey revealed her perfect knowledge of Star Wars, specifically Han Solo, and later when an emotional Alex actually broke down and cried. I could go on and on about other moments that stood out, which I have been doing all morning with one of my friends, but I'll spare you the fangirl rehashing.

I would like to comment on the feeling I get after I watch a great show. Maybe it's a little obsessive or over the top, but after watching Grey's Anatomy last night I was just so happy--much like finishing a good book or after watching a great film. There's nothing quite like that satisfying moment after viewing some quality performances in a nicely packaged two hour special.

I know there are a lot of Grey's haters out there, or for that matter, a lot of TV haters in general. That's fine--we are all entitled to our own opinions, I just happen to be someone who loves television. It's one of the reasons I moved to LA in the first place, so I could maybe get involved with the process of making the things I love. When I watch a show like Grey's and I am left with that bubbly happy feeling, I am again reminded of that desire to be out here and be a part of it all. Especially after the crazy days where I question my career choices. It's reassuring, comforting, and encouraging.

If only I had a music supervisor who could also skillfully design a soundtrack for my life, because the chick who does the music on GA is pure genius.

Nose Blowing Extraordinaire

The following conversation just took place:

Me: "I should count how many times I blow my nose in one day."
Annoyed Co-Worker: "Why?"
Me: "Um, well, because...?" Thinking, because the number must be insanely high and then I could blog about my extreme nose blowing!

However, I don't have the patience or attention span to keep track of such a thing and thus you shall be spared a post about my nose blowing (besides this one, that is).

New York Nostalgia

I'm having some serious New York nostalgia right now (this from the girl who spent her last three days in that city bemoaning the humidity, smells, and goddamn annoying public transportation) because I read this New York Times article announcing the closing of Florent, one of my all time favorite New York City restaurants and a true New York establishment. (Those of you in New York should go for brunch. They put cinnamon in the coffee and their bacon crisping is an art form--and it's open 24 hours).

It's true that absence makes the heart grow fonder, because while living in New York, I never experienced the sharp pangs of missing a place you love until moving here to LA. But do I love New York? I don't know if I would say that... I definitely miss it and I certainly love specific things about the city, and especially the time I've spent with my friends there. At this point in my life it's not the city for me however, and even when I think about the staples I miss (and may forever, if more places like Florent close down) I know that it wouldn't be the right place for me right now.

It's funny how that works--how certain geographical locations are perfectly suited to match our mental state at various points in our lives. It makes me wonder where I'll be five years from now, or even ten. Yesterday I had my physical and I was talking to the doctor about the volatile past few years. She asked me if I finally felt settled here. I imagine that I do, but in all honestly I think I'll end up back on the East Coast. After telling the doctor this she gave me a look and said, "Five years from now and you'll realize you just can't take the weather anywhere else." We'll see... (I reminded her of my sweating issues and the heat in the summer months, and she noted that my thyroid would be checked in the blood work. Maybe there's a medical explanation for the perspiration? Probably not, but I guess I'll know in a week.)

To return to where I started, Florent's closing is a huge bummer. I don't think I'll be making a trip back to the city to get to eat there one last time (again, all you New Yorkers--go!) so it's funny to think that I now understand the whimsical nostalgia so many New Yorkers share when ruminating on the ever-changing city.

Job Openings in Dubai?

I spent a little over an hour yesterday learning about Dubai. Yes, Dubai, as in that cool city in the United Arab Emirates you may have heard of because it boasts the world's nicest hotel (the Burj Al Arab)and has a bunch of artificial islands, including a whole bunch that from an aerial view resemble the world.

Anyway, I started poking around on Wikipedia yesterday, researching important trivia such as the World's Tallest Buildings and Highest Selling Recording Artists and along the way I started reading up on Dubai. I then remembered I knew of some fellow Middlebury alums whose American employers had stationed them in Dubai. This then led me to researching companies I might be interested in working for that also have outposts in Dubai. The results were... unclear. It would appear that the Google office only hires at very senior level positions and after much self-evaluation it would appear my job qualifications are equivalent to that of a secretary. Then I got distracted by stalking people on Facebook and forgot about looking at other places that might have some Dubai job openings.

I am nervous what this sudden interest in jobs in Dubai says about my current mental state... Maybe I just want to go there for vacation. Actually I definitely do and sent my Dad an email stating that I felt Dubai would be the appropriate choice for our next family vacation. Then I ripped on the Pistons for a while so he said that if were going to remain a Celtics fan then Dubai would never happen.

If anyone knows of any job ideas in Dubai or other foreign and exotic lands (the Middle East or elsewhere), let me know. Until then, it's lunch at my desk. Who knows what fun things I can find on the internet today!

Some Wednesday Nostalgia

I credit Chip and Dale for my love for chipmunks. So cute! However, I blame them for the time I thought it was okay to pet a baby squirrel in a nest in our barn and was then reprimanded by my mother for approaching a potentially rabid beast.

Summer Musings

Memorial Day Weekend is nearly upon us, and its passing marks the unofficial beginning of summer. During my youth (let's pretend 24 is old for now) I recall spending Memorial Day marching in the local parade. Sometimes with the pep band. I played the saxophone. That's awkward... moving on.

Memorial Day Weekend in Maine, or actually anywhere in New England, is usually a beautiful rainy weekend or a beautiful sunny weekend--regardless the weather, it always strikes me as just a lovely span of three days to enjoy spring and the approaching summer months.

Well, this is the first summer where I don't have summer, and that my friends is a miserable concept. Unlike summers past, spent on Maine, Martha's Vineyard or on some elaborate outward bound type camping trip or community service journey to a third world country, this summer I will be spending my days at my desk, wistfully looking at the window's of my bosses off (when he leaves the door open), brightening my day by wearing bright colors, and drinking as much water as possible (because going to the bathroom every half hour helps the pass the time). Some possible benefits of a summer spent at the office include decreased skin cancer risk (I can feed my tanorexia as efficiently when I can't get to the beach every day) and decreased liver problems (less drinking). Side effects are healthy it would seem.

Regardless of the impending doom of a summer spent staring at a computer, I have no doubt Summer '08 will be one for the books. And I am not talking about the new Indiana Jones movie (I actually couldn't care less), or even the new X-Files movie (I couldn't care more) but just about LA, where fortunately after weekend feels like summer even when it isn't. LA is summer all year round...

Nothing

If you are wondering where my biting Monday posts have been all day, here are a few reasons, details to be provided at a later date:

1.) I have been up since 4 am
2.) I slept on a sofa last night
3.) My liver hates me
4.) Water retention
5.) The shampoo effect
6.) Vikings

Identity Theft Reaches a New Low

I didn't think identity theft could get any worse, but then a friend sent me an article describing how a thirteen year old boy racked up a tab of $30,000 on his dad's credit card, all for hookers and... Halo?


Ah, kids these days.

Upfronts Update: FRINGE

Watch the trailer for Fringe. It is going to be AWESOME. (For the extended version, click here.)

Recap: Upfronts Week

For those who don't know what Upfronts are... I don't really know the best way to explain them beyond that time in mid-May when all the big television networks give little previews into new shows for the next season, and announce their fall line-ups. It was a little different this year in what the town is now calling "the post strike" world (because it was all very harrowing and scary for the big conglomerates, of course) and while none of my opinions and information is from any firsthand experience at the presentations, I am going to grace you all with my selected thoughts on the newly revealed skeds.

ABC
ABC's fall line up is the most familiar. All our favorites will be there (although Lost returns midseason which is intolerable) with a scant few newbies. One of the new shows is Life on Mars, from David E. Kelley and based on the successful BBC drama of the same name. After reading a bit of the pilot and watching a short trailer for the Americanized version, I'm not sure this edition holds the same promise. I am trying to think of the last David E. Kelley show I actually watched... probably Ally McBeal or Boston Public. I never really got into the law shows, but I know they've been critically acclaimed and well loved. I am willing to give it the benefit of the doubt, especially because Life on Mars airs in the prime post-Grey's Anatomy slot on Thursday nights, but take a look for yourself.



I am also thrilled by the return of the Wednesday night trio Pushing Daisies, Private Practice and Dirty Sexy Money. It worked in the fall, and I've been missing these shows since the strike halted production.

NBC
Um I didn't pay much attention to this one. Right. The only shows on NBC that I care about are The Office and 30 Rock (watch 30 Rock, it will blow your socks off!) and of course, Friday Night Lights, a show that is so good it hurts. It hurts because I love it. I used to watch Heroes, but decided another cult-TV show was a bad idea for my personal life... and social functioning. I am trying to think what stands out on the NBC schedule... not much. Ooooh I guess there is an Office spin-off (those nets sure love the spin-offs these days, huh?) which is promising but also questionable. What else, what else... wow ER is still going. Huh, look at that.

CBS
I don't watch any shows on CBS. I can't think of a time I ever did.

FOX
Here's where things get interesting. FOX, a network I watch now only for Family Guy, is bringing back to my life two very important shows: The X-Files and Firefly. Okay not really, but the new J.J. Abrams show Fringe is practically a revisioned X-Files for 2008, full of paranormal technology, pseudoscience, and potential government conspiracies, and of course--fraught with unresolved sexual tension between the two protagonists (played by Joshua Jackson--Pacey!--and newcomer Anna Torv). I just finished reading this intense pilot yesterday and I am hooked. Also, these promotional stills have me all sorts of excited. Then there is Joss Whedon, the mastermind behind Firefly, one of the most underrated shows of late, who is bringing the show Dollhouse to FOX midseason. While I hate Eliza Dushku, who stars as the main character Echo, this show has a really interesting concept (reading the pilot now so can't explain in full). Here, watch a little trailer (and it's Helo from Battlestar Galactica!):

Hmm the trailer is temporarily unavailable... I'll put it up later.

The CW
I love the CW for bringing Gossip Girl to the airwaves. I realize that on a ratings scale this show bombs. But as far as buzz and salacious plots are concerned? Right on the money! As we all know, I am most excited for the CW's upcoming 90210 spin-off (fantastic pilot and I had a friend at Upfronts yesterday who saw some early footage, texting me afterwards to say: "90210 will make us hate our jobs, paychecks and wardrobes. It looks so good.") and I am somewhat interested in Surviving the Filthy Rich, set to air after 90210, and on par with the network's teen programming. I read this pilot as well, and it has some potential but it might not hold my interest (see clips here).

Phew. I've got a busy fall schedule to make room in my life and my DVR for all these televisions shows, but if I know anything about myself, it's that I always watch my shows. And by watch, I mean obsess over.

Back when music videos were groundbreaking...

Peter Gabriel stole the show with this one for "Sledgehammer", one of my all time fave hits of the 80s. It's wild.

What is going on?

The interwebs are abuzz that Britney Spears is currently on vacation with Mel Gibson in Costa Rica. I don't even know what to think of this report. That's too much crazy going on right there. It makes me nervous for Costa Rica (a great country by the way, I spent an epic month there after my junior year of high school during which I acquired the nickname of Baracha--look it up if you don't speak Spanish) and this strange pairing makes me nervous for the world in general. According to ET, Mel and his wife saw a woman in trouble. Uh yeah, she's in trouble. She's also a walking trash bag in need of some serious life coaching (but that's mean). Anyways, I suggest checking out all the blogs to see gossips titter and tatter away about this odd duo's vacay.

Evidence of crazy? Hmmmmmm there are so many. How about this one:

Writer's Block

For the past three hours I've had a "new post" window open and have probably written and deleted stuff about five or more times. It would appear that I have nothing to write about today. Shocking I know, because at the very least I usually am able to talk about myself (which I guess I am doing now, so maybe this post negates what I am attempting to write about... whatever just go with it) but I seem to be lacking creativity this lovely Thursday. (And I thought I would refrain from writing about how Diet Dr. Pepper is an underrated soda, which was my back-up plan, so you're welcome).

I am realizing I don't have much to write about because I am not doing a whole lot these days. Life's been pretty boring for me recently due to two things, being sick and lacking money. So that's interesting. I guess. Good news is I am headed to San Francisco after work tomorrow night and I have quite the eventful weekend planned.

Until then... maybe I will find some entertaining CNN headlines to rip on...

Some More Things I Have to Say About Sweating

You may recall this post, back from December where I waxed poetic about my sweating problem. Or maybe you didn't but couldn't help notice the constant references to sweating throughout the blog.

Well, yes, it's true, I am a bit of a sweater. It's strange, my condition, in that I will suddenly find myself sweating for no apparent reason. Like now, for example. I am just sitting at my desk, in our temperature moderated office, sweating away. I might draw the conclusion that this is because of my current bout of illness, but the thing is, even if I weren't sick I would probably still be sweating. It's uncomfortable. And awkward. Especially around the hair line. Then it's noticeable.

Actually, one thing I've noticed about sweating in LA is that people here don't seem to be big sweaters. Even in the gym! For me, the gym is the place where not only is it acceptable to sweat, but it's kind of badass when I get good and sweaty after a few miles on the treadmill. But LA chicks at the gym, all in their perfect Lulu Lemon matching spandex, and usually on the elliptical machine (lame), just don't seem to sweat as much. I relish sweating during a good work out... it's cleansing and gratifying in a way. What is the deal with these LA chicks and the non-sweating? Apparently if you sweat it means you are in good shape, or healthy or something. So, hah! I am the picture of good health (just don't ask my doctor).

Oh wow all this thinking about sweating isn't helping... it seems to be exacerbating the situation. And now I've officially told you more than you could possibly want to know about me. Please excuse me while I just take a moment to dab a kleenex on my hairline.

Hungry Bitch on the Loose!

So after another doctor's visit this morning, the final verdict is that I have a mean case of Sinusitis. Wonderful. Remedies include more antibiotics, a strong decongestant, and my new favorite: a course of steroids. Yes friends, steroids. Possible side effects include "hunger pains" and "potential mood swings." In other words, ROID RAGE.

This should be fun...

Unsolved Mysteries, Facebook edition

The people at Gawker (bless their souls) have just blown Facebook wide open. Apparently if you go to your home page and in the search space just hit the down arrow (or for me the space key worked), 5 names pop up that would appear to be the 5 people who search for you most frequently. FASCINATING. I know who is stalking me now (you, reader, should be alarmed, because it could be YOU. Actually it would appear these are people who aren't actually frequent blog readers. I guess you readers get your fill of me right here).

Actually this is one of many theories as to what is really going on. Maybe it's the 5 people you search for most, or the 5 people who are most compatible with you (heh?) but I think it just has to be the 5 people who procrastinate their work by stalking you. I wonder what lists I show up on, because I am a pretty consistent Facebook stalker... Oooh oooh! Tell me if I show up on yours! This could be fun... and creepy. I love it!

Update 1:20 pm PST
(Courtesy the intrepid Shelby Woo:)
Gawker posted the article at 1:08.
Ktringe read about it at 3:15. (10,000 views logged)
Emailed all of you at 3:19.
Facebook disabled feature at 3:49 p.m.
Gawker article logged 20,000+ views as of 4:00 p.m.

This mystery may never be solved... (and yes, I just tried and Facebook has attempted to disable the glitch. HOWEVER, try a different arrow and see what you find...)

90210 First Look

Okay, I totally ripped this photo from JustJared but it's fitting as I actually read the pilot script last night and am all sorts of excited for the new show. Let me just say this, it has the wit of Veronica Mars, the accurately portrayal of teenagers today (Facebook references included), and some lovely throwbacks to the original show (I'm not saying what, but longtime fans should be thrilled). It will be interesting to see what happens now that the original writer and creator Rob Thomas is no longer attached to the project, but he's set a high bar for the tone of the series. Things I am most looking forward to are cast members Jessica Walter and Lori Loughlin, and of course Jennie Garth as the guidance counselor (which must be a new change, because in the version I read last night she was the fashion teacher... I like that better.) The Fall TV season couldn't come soon enough...

Some Tuesday Nostalgia

The front page of Variety today highlights the following exciting news: 'Fraggle' feature finds puppet masters. That's right people, one of my favorite Jim Henson productions (right up there with The Great Muppet Caper, Yoda, and Sesame Street) would be Fraggle Rock. While my memory of it is spotty (I was all of an infant to age three during the years it aired) I remember gleefully enjoying every minute of that show. I am happy that all the recent 80s nostalgia has resurrected this, especially with Amhet Zappa as a producer. I wonder if Marjory the trash heap will make an appearance...

Human Tetris

I don't know why we don't have game shows like this in the US. It's AWESOME.



This reminds me, does anyone know if Spike is still airing MXC? I used to watch that show for hours on end. I seem to have the maturity level of a 7 year-old boy.

My new comeback:

"At least you can hear out of both your ears."

On a related note, does anyone have any helpful hints as to how to decrease severe congestion? Sudafed just isn't enough.

My Nintendo Love Affair

Growing up my dad had one rule regarding cable television and videogames: Not allowed. My mom buckled when I was in eighth or ninth grade and not only did we upgrade to basic cable, but my brother got a Playstation (he was in college after all). However, since I can remember, both my brother and I watched a lot of TV and played a lot of video games growing up, thanks to all our friends who didn't have parents as strict as ours. (My dad even attempted to start a Dads Against Video Games group which I think had one other member, clearly a like-minded parent with a similarly suffering child.) I remember the original Nintendo, the first Gameboy, and of course the Nintendo 64. However, the first Nintendo that was ever in my possession (if only temporary because my brother let me borrow it for a few months), was the lovely but comparatively unpopular Game Cube.

I love the Nintendo Game Cube for two reasons, and two reasons only:

1) Mario Kart Double Dash
2) The Sonic Mega Collection

My senior year of college I spent the majority of Middlebury's winter term skiing, partying, and playing these two games on the Game Cube. (I also took a post-modern dance class. It was weird.) I drove my roommates crazy with my incessant howling at the TV or constantly spoken need to "re-beat Sonic 2 by February." Ultimately, the game cube was returned to its rightful owner (my brother), and I resumed my normal life (normal being a relative term), the few months of my Sonic obsession easily forgotten.

Last year when the Wii came out I was definitely interested in getting one. I logged a few hours in the Nintendo store in Rockefeller Center trying out the in-store demo of the new Zelda. FPS (first person shooter for non-gamers... gross, does this make me a gamer or can we just credit this to my wealth of knowledge?) games like Zelda were never my favorite, and I decided that the only thing that could drive me to purchasing a Wii (besides Wii Sports which is awesome) would be a new version of Mario Kart, at which I am phenomenal. Well, in late April Nintendo released Mario Kart Wii, and after spending the last half hour or so pouring over reviews, videos and user testimonials, I will admit it--I want a Wii.

I can never purchase a Wii. Nintendo, (Mario Kart and Sonic specifically,) holds a place in my life similar to that of certain television shows on DVD. I will obsessively devote unnecessary hours of time in front of the TV in what will ultimately be an unhealthy display of my strange love affair with specific video games. If I bought a Wii, not only could I pour my life into the new Mario Kart, but then I would play all the games I loved from my brother's Game Cube. No, I cannot buy a Wii, much like I cannot purchase the entire X-Files series on DVD, or upgrade my J. Crew card to "preferred member," or even even renew my college subscription to Us Weekly--it would suck my life away.

And thus I must suffer the consequences, getting by on fabulous reviews (like this one from IGN.com) and the occasional chance to play video games at someone else's house. I even gave away my old school Nintendo pack that my brother gave me last year to pass time after my jaw surgery--Duck Hunt, Super Mario, and everything.

The good thing about all this is I save a lot of money, and my nerd level decreases somewhat. I might love video games, but I don't actually own any. (Excluding the Sega Game Gear in my storage unit in Maine. I need to dig that thing up...)

First stop The Hills, next stop... Direct to DVD!

I realize that intrepid Hills starlet Audrina Patridge is hoping to use her reality fame to launch herself into a film career as a "serious" actress, but taking a role in Into the Blue 2? Was that such a good idea Audrina? I know you are probably not the brightest light in the sky, but just about any could tell you this flick has Direct to DVD written all over it. I imagine it would be tough for Audrina to get serious consideration for any other roles, but starring as "a no-nonsense, beautiful beach babe whose boyfriend caters to her every command" doesn't seem to be that much of a stretch. I am looking forward to seeing if she has any sort of acting talent, and then comparing it to her bits on The Hills to look for any growth in her acting. On that note, it's The Hills season finale tonight, which means maybe I'll ease up on these like-minded posts for the summer. Probably not, but you never know...

It's Official

I know what I'm doing July 25th.

He's really, really old.

Things younger than John McCain.

And you thought your morning commute was bad...

I'm sick and I am going to complain about it

1. I am sick. Again. I am on antibiotics. Again. I seem to have some issues with my immune system.
2. As a result of Point 1, I am extremely congested and currently unable to breathe out of my left nostril, or hear properly out of my right ear. You'd think the sides of congestion would correspond, but apparently not. My body hates me.
3. Due to the current illness, I am actually hoping the weather this weekend will not be nice. I would like to lie in bed recuperating without that side portion of guilt. Damn you Los Angeles for being so typically sunny.
4. No matter how many echinacea tablets, how much Cold-Eeze, how many packets of Emergen-C, how much Sudafed, how many capsuls of Oscillococcinum, how many cups of Yogi Cold Defense tea you may take, if you're coming down with a cold, you're coming down with a cold.
5. Fridays are oftentimes unbearably long, and even longer when every cell in your body is screaming GO TO BED.
6. Complaining about being really sick at work does nothing to improve said sickness.
7. All creative juices seem to flood out of me when I am sick as I seem to have nothing interesting to write about at the moment.
8. It is shocking how much snot one body can contain! (Ew, I know, but really, it's a marvel!)

That's all... maybe something good later if I can muster the energy.

Wear a Big Tee to Work Day

I am officially disgustingly predictable. I was just talking to a friend online who was asking me about my office dress code, and then asked what I was wearing today, resulting in the following conversation:

Ramsay: do you ever wear plush jumpsuits to work?
Annie: mm
Annie: no, no plush to work
Annie: we are alll business all the time
Annie: but i do get to wear blue jeans to work on fridays hurrah
Ramsay: is it Cas Friday?
Annie: mm hmmm
Ramsay: what do you wear during the week?
Ramsay: big tees and a belt?
Annie: UM I AM TODAY
Annie: oh my god i am not kidding
Annie: i wish i was
Annie: i am wearing this big black t dress
Annie: and i belted it
Annie: and i have leggings on
Annie: omg i am sending you a photo
Annie: hold on i am going to the bathroom and taking a photo
Annie: brb
Ramsay: thats amazing!!!
Annie: i am so predictable
Annie: and i am pushing the dress code

And here's the photo of my big tee/80s inspired envelope-pushing outfit for work today (taken with my phone, in the bathroom on the 8th floor of The Luckman Plaza):

Teenage Girl Syndrome

Last night I was in bed reading a good book and enjoying a cup of tea when Roomie #1 (Ashleigh... I confuse myself with the numbers sometimes. Yes I know I only have two roommates. I am bad at math) popped her head in and we started having a little conversation about our day and what was going on and typical chick stuff, when suddenly she interrupted me to ask,

"Are you wearing your retainer right now?"

Why, yes. Yes I was. In fact, I wear my retainers every night while I sleep, and have been doing that since I was in the eighth grade and got my first pair of braces off (don't worry, it's a different set of retainers now because of the surgery braces. That would be disgusting). As I acknowledged this fact, Ashleigh then asked me what book I was reading.

Me: "Um, it's called Ranger's Apprentice... we represent the author, and have clients working on the new movie."
Ashleigh: "Is that Young Adult?"
Me: "Uh, yes. Young Adult Fantasy. But you know, it's for work. I mean my boss didn't ask me to read it but I thought I should."
Ashleigh: "Didn't you once mention that Young Adult Fantasy is your favorite genre?"
Me: "Yes, yes I did."

And sitting there in my bed, discussing my love for Young Adult Fantasy, but with a lisp due to my retainers I realized something: I seem to suffer from Teenage Girl Syndrome. My walls are a baby blue adorned with two Van Gogh paintings (Sunflowers and Jade Blossom Tree) and a multitude of photos of me with friends and family, my bedding at the moment is light pink with flowery pillows, my book case is filled with lots of books but also the three letters of my initials in bright colored fabric, my furniture is all a pristine white, and I have three stuffed animals on my bed, and I may or may not also have a "special blanket" tucked behind a pillow. (Actually, I don't know if we can call this Teenage Girl Syndrome, more like, I'm still a child.)

This was a somewhat upsetting revelation. Ashleigh made a reassuring point, which is that my current living situation doesn't lend itself easily to general decorating, and consequently our rooms become our main sources of personal expression and are therefore dorm-like. Furthermore, the centerpiece of our living room at the moment is a ping pong table, which isn't very teenage girl like at all (so I am just a frat boy at heart?) so I guess that delineates the effect of the childish femininity of my quarters.

This all leads me to conclude, that beyond my geek side, I am simply not at a place in my life (i.e. don't have enough to money) to actually furnish and decorate a room to better reflect my more mature side, and therefore my room is a perfectly put together collection of items leftover from college and my room at home. I imagine that a day will come when I will say goodbye to the girlishness and adapt a more grown-up style, that will hopefully correspond to the wads of cash I am raking in. Until then I will enjoy the Young Adult Fantasy, the stuffed animals, and especially the ping pong table.

This morning I was thinking about it a little more--don't we all have a little child in us still? Our rooms are our private, personal sanctuaries, and I am sure that there is a little something in everyone's that resembles a certain nostalgia for their childhood. Or at least there are some relics left over from the teenage years or days of college dormitories. I guess I might be one of the few still wearing retainers to bed, but I think to some degree, we all suffer from Teenage Girl Syndrome.

Wednesday Nerd Alert

Who else is excited? Closet Star Wars fans of the world, reveal yourselves!

Surprise Party!

I don't often watch Saturday Night Live but occasionally online I will watch a few clips here and there. This one is hilarious and highlights Kirsten Wiig, one of SNL's shining stars these days.

Blog Therapy

According to an article from CNN today, blogging is a form of therapy.

This got me thinking... is it? Am I using this blog as therapy? Is this blog a place for me to publicly and officially acknowledge my inner geek, wax nostalgic about the television programs of yore, and obsess over my sweating problem and penchant for tanning? Maybe... I like to think of blogging as a way to keep me sane during the work day, so I guess in that sense it is therapeutic. The more I write, the more I've discovered that I enjoy writing, so I guess it's a little bit about self exploration too. Anyways, I think everyone deserves a forum to write truthfully and offer opinions, so why not post it on the internet for the entire world to see?

I was just looking over the UTA list a second ago (for those not in Hollywood, this is a list with various "insider" job postings in the entertainment industry) and thought about whenever I take the step to my next job, I have no idea what that might be. When I first moved to LA I briefly entertained the notion of becoming an agent, and then when I realized that was the last thing I wanted to do I thought about development, but now I am unsure about that path as well. Browsing the many assistant positions to this A-List Director or at that top notch production company, nothing jumped out and nothing seemed to hold the next step for what I want to do. Certainly, I am not in the position of looking for new jobs at the moment, but it is a little unsettling to look at what is out there now and not find a logical future path. Then again, is anyone really supposed to know what they want to do with their life when they are 24 years old? Isn't it only natural that I am constantly questioning my strengths, interests, and yes--money making capabilities?

Maybe my next job is... blogging for money? It seems to have worked for some people. But what makes my opinions on life any more authoritative than say, a friend who blogs in New York, or Perez Hilton, or the Huffington Post even? That's just it, you see, my arguments, grievances, and general life commentaries aren't necessarily any more relevant than anyone else's. If only I could figure out a way to make a living from doing this... if any one of my 20 daily readers has any suggestions or request, advice is welcome. Until then, I look forward to the next existential crisis of the day, likely to take place sometime before lunch.

Why I Love Celine Dion, Pt. 5

She's kind of like Jesus.

London's Investigative Journalism Standards, Setting New Lows for Everyone

Sometimes I think I would like to live in London because I always enjoyed visiting the city and it's European but it's quite close to American, and they drink a lot of tea there and spell some words that would normally end in just "or" with "our" just because they can and everyone is so nice and maybe I could start to develop a slight accent, but less than Madonna's but ANYWAY MY POINT....

I am glad I do not live in the UK because their celebrity journalism is far worse than here in the US. They essentially invented the rag and the tabloid system of our fine country is practically plucked from theirs. (Actually, when I interned at Us Weekly I remember some of the Senior Editors had come over from the UK mags OK and Hello!)

But in England, they study things such as The Gwyneth Effect, or more commonly known as a bogus story The Mail invented to explain a sudden increase in consumer buying of high heels and its direct correlation to Gwyneth Paltrow. Good work England, keep up that stellar investigative journalism.

LA Weather Conditions

It's dreary out. Actually I have no idea what the current weather conditions are because my cubicle is not near any windows and the doors to the offices with windows through which I normally observe Los Angeles weather patterns are closed. Based on my drive this morning, I would say it's probably dreary, and likely to "burn off" by the afternoon. This notion of clouds "burning off" is new to me. I think it really means that around noon all the smog lifts to reveal it is just a regular sunny, nice day after all.

Regardless, right now I can't think of nothing I want more that to put on some sweatpants and curl up with a good book. Which is odd, because I live in California and I feel like this is a feeling I rarely have, so I am starting to think that perhaps I am really just missing New England and springtime in New England which is usually a lot of rain. (And therefore conducive to feelings of curling up with a book.) I was watching the Today Show at the gym this morning and when they do that bit about "Here's the weather in your neck of the woods" I still wish I would get to see Maine's weather. Weather in Los Angeles is pretty boring; "70, 70, 68, 72 and don't worry it will be nice for the weekend!" Because it wasn't nice the rest of the week? I have to admit that I miss the ice storms, the near-flood conditions, the freak hail storms in June, and all that snow.

I know the grass is greener on the other side and if I were in Maine I would be thinking, my God this weather is miserable, but there is something to be said about experiencing extreme weather conditions, or just varying weather conditions at all. It's exciting... or maybe it just keeps things interesting, makes the passage of time a little more noticeable, and I am less inclined to feel guilty spending a day inside.

Look at me, complaining about sunshine. Stay tuned for next week when I complain about not being tan enough. (No really, I will, because I suffer from a disease known as Tanorexia. Yes, Tanorexia is real. Hundreds of American's suffer from this debilitating affliction. No my stomach isn't made of leather. Its hard, rubbery surface is one of the symptoms of Tanorexia. Leave me alone. I need to go to the beach.)

Stamos Makes Discovery: Theraflu not "All That Bad"

I just wanted to let everyone know that Theraflu isn't all that bad. I bought it this morning in nervous anticipation that it would taste like a Celestial Seasonings tea gone wrong (which is hard to do I would imagine because they are just perfectly tasty and inspirational with the resonating quotes on the box) but have been pleasantly surprised. Theraflu (natural lemon flavor) is quite tasty. And it's clearing up those nasal passages too!

That's all.

TV Post-Strike

I love television. Obviously, as close to %90 of my posts mention TV in some fashion. I love television and I especially love scripted dramas and was especially sad when the strike hit and it was goodbye Grey's, Gossip, and (Family) Guy (I tried for a catchy three-part alliteration just then but couldn't think of a third G-beginning show. Anyone?) At first, the TV void in my life was miserable, but as I became busy with work and maintaining a social calendar (which is work in itself when you are as busy and popular as I. That's a joke BTdubs) the lack of new programming didn't even register on my radar. At one point I recall wondering how I would ever find the time to fit in all my shows, even with DVR.

Well, it's May my friends. And besides today being Cinco de Mayo (yay, go eat at one of those taco trucks or something), it's May Sweeps time, my favorite time of the year for my favorite televisions shows--they pull out all the stops to suck in us viewers and make millions and gazillions of dollars of advertising. (So much for sticking it to the man.) Thing is, since the return of all this Must-see TV, I've noticed a big change that in my opinion has little to do with May sweeps.

Ever since my favorite shows have come back on the air I've noticed the quality of episodes has, across the board, been better. Story lines are more interesting, plot development is smoother and quicker, and everything just seems to have a little extra enthusiasm. Personally, I feel that we can credit the strike for this improvement in episodic television. All those writers had several weeks off to really think about their shows and I think this has only helped the quality.

For example, prior to the strike I was getting bored with Brothers & Sisters. It seemed to lack the freshness and acerbic wit of the first season. Post-strike and wham bam thank you ma'am, Bros & Hos (as I like to call it when I am feeling sassy, which apparently I do right now) has returned with gay marriage proposals, companies going under, and my favorite subplot yet--having feelings for your sister from another father, who turns out has a different father but is it still not weird and creepy when a brother has feelings for a temporary sister, now a former sister? Wooh. That's a lot. But that whole lot is good TV and it has me watching.

Then there is Grey's Anatomy. The first episode out of the gate was fun, acknowledging the passing of time but again moving along some story lines that needed movement, aka Meredith and Derek. And sure, Kate Walsh's return to Grey's last week was a bit of a ratings stunt (and a smart one because she really improves that show about %1000 percent and I really think they should just keep her there or figure out some sort of recurring role because obviously ABC has noticed the fan base she seems to pull in, hence the mediocre Grey's spin-off Private Practice, already getting ad time for its fall return) but that episode of Grey's was one of the best this season, perfectly establishing future plot lines while smoothing over upsetting ones of the past (such as that miserable pairing known as Gizzie). I am even starting to like Katherine Heigl.

However, my two favorite improvements in scripted TV this post-strike spring are in one show that was already fantastic and another that was working on it. First off, 30 Rock, the best show you aren't watching. The episode that aired on May 24 was sheer genius, with Liz Lemon going corporate and a perfectly executed Will Arnett/Alec Baldwin stand off. This is a show you people need to watch, because it seems to be stronger now than ever. In fact, I am going to include a clip below so you know what you are missing.

Lastly, I would like to point out the improvements in Gossip Girl. Sure this show is ridiculously far-fetched and often has plot lines that make no sense or couldn't possibly be based in any sense of reality, but it's just so... salacious. It's only gotten better since its post-strike return with new plot lines, characters, and of course--new romances.

Oh yes, there is also Lost, which in my opinion has been incredible from the start and never had any issues anyways (despite what all those naysaying critics had to say during the third season)--I don't think the strike was a necessary infuse of creativity for this staple. Lost operates on another level, but I had to mention it's brilliance... just because.

Anyway, I've certainly found a way to incorporate my favorite television shows into my busy life and have been pleasantly surprised with their improvements. I was sad to discover last night that the season finale of Bros & Hos is next Sunday and I know there are limited episodes remaining of the others I enjoy too, but until hiatus, we've got these remaining morsels of goodness to relish, and it sure does feel great.

And as promised, a few clips from 30 Rock. Actually, I am posting an entire episode (courtesy Hulu, as usual). Watch it.

Alarm Anxiety

I think one of the worst feelings is sleeping through an alarm. It's a terrible feeling; the sudden panic and anxiety that rapidly swell into a frantic scramble to get to work on time, and then attempt to recover from the normally routine morning thrown askew.

This morning my alarm went off at 5:45 am as I planned on attending a 6:30 am yoga class at the gym. I've been feeling a bit like I've been fighting off a cold since Saturday so I decided to sleep in and I would go to the gym after work. In my half-awake early morning haze I reset my alarm for 6:15 am (knowing I would most likely snooze until 7, but 6:15 makes me feel better about myself). I am sound asleep for what doesn't feel like much time and wake up suddenly and unexpectedly to look over at my alarm clock to see that it is 7:37 am, and thus ensues the "Holy Shit I Slept Through My Alarm" panic.

I scramble to get dressed, packed and ready for the day, realizing I don't have time to shower or stop at a pharmacy to buy some echinacea or whatever other interesting get well remedies I might come upon. I gather my belongings, get into the car and peel out of my garage, praying the traffic on Sunset won't be out of control. About 5 minutes into the drive I catch the time on the clock on my dashboard: 7:05 am.

I'm sorry, WHAT?

I double check on my phone, and yes according to Verizon Wireless and science, it is in fact 7:05 am and rather than running late for work I am going to be incredibly earlier. You'd expect this abrupt revelation to cease all panic, but it doesn't. I am unable to shake off the anxiety associated with sleeping through an alarm and therefore the entire rest of the morning is off kilter. I get a wheatgrass shot at Jamba Juice and spend a half hour at Long's Pharmacy buying tea, throat lozenges, and other various preventative cold medicines, all the while wondering why they cant just start selling anti-anxiety meds over the counter because what a beautiful world it would be then.

I get to work at 8 am on the nose, still somewhat at ease, but at least I am extra early. The mystery of the alarm clock? All signs point to my mistake--in my semi-comatose state of the initial alarm wake-up at 5:45 am, I didn't reset the alarm, I reset the actual clock, thus ruining my morning.

The Mondays have it out for me.

Obama's Top Ten

Letterman, Obama, a pledge to reunite Heidi and Laruen, and heck, even Dennis Kucinich--what's not to like about this Late Show Clip?

No thanks God, I'll skip Friday (NTGISF?)

In college, Fridays were a breeze. When I would go to class, if I even had Friday classes, then I had about 55 minutes of hangover hell to suffer through and then it was either back to bed or out to celebrate, either way, I rejoiced the instant liberation and freedom that is perfectly unique to the commencement of the weekend.

Even now, the working girl that I am, I usually look forward to Fridays. Friday mornings I wake up with a little pep in my step, a little extra spring in my bonnet (is that a really saying? And is that Spring as in the season or spring as in the metal tool?). Friday comes around with the knowledge that in mere hours (okay more like 10, but we'll call those mere) it is the weekend and I am free, free at last.

Not today. Today is likely to be a long day. While I might normally spend my Fridays writing inane blog entries (such as this one), watching Lost on ABC.com, or compiling lists in my head of all the fascinating and stimulating activities I intend to do over the weekend, today I am one of two assistants in the office, providing honed assisting skills to a total of 9 managers/agents/producers/megalomaniacs. The thing I've noticed about Hollywood is that at a certain point, a person working in this town crosses the line of being an aggressive superstar assistant to becoming and aggressive and completely dependent boss. People entirely capable of directing and maintaining their own lives and their bosses' lives are suddenly at a complete loss as to how to book an airplane flight or answer their own phone. Sure it's frustrating, but more than that it is fascinating. At what point does this switchover take place? One day I will be entirely dependent on someone else to keep track of my life for me? I hope not.

Anyway, I seem to have a long day of answering phones and running around the office ahead of me. But then it's 7 pm and it's the weekend, which means Battlestar Galactica, the Saturday farmers' market, the Kentucky Derby, the beach, book group, and best of all--freedom.

Fan Mail

One of the perks of my job is reading letters from crazy fans. Best part is that none of our clients are actors, so these people are extra crazy, or they are crazy wannabe actors. A great fan query letter arrived today which I feel I just have to share. You really can't make this stuff up. I recommend asking someone to do a dramatic reading of the letter, perhaps with an accent...

(All names have been removed or changed to protect our client and the crazies).

Hello! My name is Muki. I am 21 years old and Japanese. I was born in Chiba, which is a neighboring city of Tokyo. I have a father, mother, an older brother, a younger sister, and a dog called "Koro" in Japan. The dog's name has no meaning. I have been living in the United States for one year. I am going to Glendale College. Before I came to the United States, I studied in London for one year.

I like to draw, so my major is Art and Design. I have never ever got a grade lower than "A" in Art!

I like to sing. I love to go to Karaoke. I am not a wonderful singer like Whitney Houston but I am pretty good at singing. I like to dance. I was in a dance group when I was in high school. I also like to watch films. My brother has over 300 DVDs so I often borrowed. I like romantic and fantasy movies because I am a woman!

I am writing this letter because I would like to be in your film. If you need a Japanese extra, I really would like to be one!

I understand what I am doing is silly. I am sorry I have bothered your time, but thank you so much for reading my letter.

Muki

Three photos of Muki were included in the note, including one of her doing karaoke, one in a kimono, and one at the Glendale Mall.

Perfection.

Coming to terms with my Hills obsession

I was just about to start writing about how I was so proud of myself for not having written about The Hills this week, and then I remembered I posted about my gag reflex in response to Speidi Takes On Washington D.C. just two days ago. Oh well. Last night at dinner I was talking to a friend who doesn't watch The Hills (appalling, but I applaud his resistance) and although he isn't a regular viewer, he is certainly aware of the cultural phenomenon the show has become. I'd be surprised to find someone who wasn't informed of the latest adventures of Lauren Conrad and company, whether they want to or not. Paris Hilton invented the act of finding fame and celebrity for doing nothing, but the cast of The Hills has perfected the art.

What I love about the show, beyond the trivial lives of it's main characters, is the role Los Angeles plays. I don't think LA has ever been more glamorized, and I equate the city's portrayal akin to that of New York's in Sex and the City. In both of these shows, the city itself plays a central part in the drama, comedy, and turmoils or happy resolutions of the key characters. In both there are four women looking for love and happiness in a classic American city where glamor, gossip, and guys are the subplots of life. LA is the fifth woman, providing the backdrop and perpetuating the drama. For who would Lauren et al be without Goa on Thursday nights? Or the Equinox in West Hollywood? Or their beautiful home with a pool in the Hollywood Hills?

Hold the phone... I've been to Goa, I was just taking a pilates class at Equinox this morning, and I don't live in the hills but my apartment complex has a pool and I am just two and a half blocks from the beach in Santa Monica. I live The Hills! I am Lauren Conrad! (Actually, no I am definitely not Lauren. I guess if I could relate to any starlet on the show it would be Lo, who seems to be the only one living a less artificial life, and maybe has her head on straight, even though she is a more recent cast addition despite being an original from Lauren's days as "LC" on Laguna Beach). I work in Hollywood, in the entertainment industry, as do many of my friends, and we are social girls with drama, boy troubles, job troubles, and even a few feuds here and there (seriously, two of my friends just "broke up"). Perhaps on some level, I am hopelessly addicted to The Hills because I see elements of myself and my life reflected in the lives of those played out on screen.

Wait a minute, who am I kidding? If I really grasp at strings I can make a few parallels, but please, my life is NOTHING like The Hills! That's what makes the show so great--my LA couldn't be more distant from their LA, and thank goodness for that. The one time I went to Goa, I might have brushed by Brody Jenner, but I couldn't have been more out of my element (and we got kicked out because one of my friends was too drunk to stand, so I obviously lack social etiquette). When I go to Equinox I have usually just rolled out of bed and thanks to my sweating problem I do NOT look all that perky and put together with make-up intact. My apartment might be in a great location but the building is straight out of 1975 with an elevator that seems to be some sort of 1930s hydraulic contraption. A few of my friends can be over the top but overall they are fun-loving, low key and drama free. My life, our lives, are realistic. At the end of the day, The Hills is not.

Clearly, I have a serious love/hate relationship with the show, and am obviously struggling to come to terms with what is ultimately a love for it. It has undeniable pop culture appeal, and I am a pop culture junkie and self-proclaimed pop culture know-it-all. This is just my shtick. So rather than bemoan the prevalence of Hills-related posts, from here on out I am going to embrace it. (Translate: These quasi-intellectual Hills posts are going to keep on coming, so get used to it. Sure to follow are a lot of posts about the 90210 spin-off. Oh wait, that's already happening.) I can relate, but my LA existence is different enough that I can observe from a distance, and enjoy the "reality" show for the fantasy that it really is.