Some Things I Have to Say About Sweating

I am a sweater. And I am not talk about that lovely article of clothing everybody wears this time of year. (I particularly enjoy this one in "heather graphite" which is just a fancy way of saying gray.) No, I am talking about the fact that I am one of those people with a serious problem with perspiration. Thing is, I am fully aware of this fact, and I am not going to pretend that it isn't an issue. I am going to own my sweating problem.

My sweating problem makes me wonder... Why do I seem to sweat so much? When I sleep, when I am driving in my car, after I've showered and am getting ready for the day/a night out/going to bed (when I will sweat again), and definitely during any sort of athletic activity (duh)... really, it doesn't take a lot for me to sweat. The perspiration seems to be heightened during periods of stress or anxiety--which is natural I imagine, but even when I think I am totally calm and on top of my game--nope, still sweating.

For example, yesterday I had a very important job interview that I was a bit nervous for. But during the interview I felt great--things went fantastically and I was feeling totally calm and collected and psyched when on the spot my interviewers told me they wanted me to come back for round two. And I am thinking of how much ass I am kicking and then comes that crucial point in the interview where you shake each other's hands, say thanks and let's be in touch and then BAM! I noticed that during the entire process I had been sweating profusely and was rocking some serious pit stains. Then everything is just suddenly so awkward when you look like you're doing a bad T-Rex impression with a weak handshake.

Anyways, sweating sucks. I know others would agree. When it comes down to it, I think the answer to that whole "why do I sweat" question is just due to genetics. I am predisposed to sweating. My dad told me a couple of years ago that maybe in losing some weight I would sweat less (thanks, Dad, you're lucky I don't have an eating disorder), but the thing is, I can think of 3 good friends (you know who you are) who are all really skinny and are real big sweaters. So I think it just is the way it is. An unsatisfying conclusion, but that's what prescription-strength deodorant is for.

So for all the other sweaters out there, this is for you. (Article courtesy the New York Times, and a fellow perspiration-challenged friend who shall remain anonymous.)