Annoyances

Happy Monday. I am not feeling my chipper self right now, so instead I would like to bitch about a few things.

1. What is wrong with Los Angeles drivers? Seriously. They are all terrible drivers and the majority of people have some intense road rage. Yesterday morning in the parking lot of the grocery store I have never experience so much hate and horn-honking in my life. I thought people in Southern California were supposed to be laid back? What gives?

2. Heidi Montag makes me want to vomit. I refuse to post her just-released music video here, but if you click on almost any one of my links, I am sure you will find it. The video, which was filmed by her "fiancee" and "manager" (quotes are necessary because the dude is a joke and their relationship is completely artificial) is hilarious, if only for the fact that it looks like she is awkwardly swatting at flying insects while she sings, and it is the most low-budget, terribly filmed music video I've seen in a long while. Her erratic hand motions are cringe-worthy, but can't distract the viewer from her fake boobs or the fact that the vocals are clearly computer generated. Heidi Montag makes me feel embarrassed to be an American. Thanks for that one, Heidi.

3. I really don't want to hear reporters on NPR talking about sports. If I want to hear a re-cap, I will listen to sports radio, or watch ESPN, or look online. That way I can avoid the following announcements: "Sports miracles really do happen! Last night, in one of the biggest upsets in Superbowl history, the New York Giants defeated the New England Patriots. Also over the weekend, Joe Schmo scored his first ever hole-in-one while golfing in his hometown of Anywhere, Florida. Joe is 92 years old. And, he's blind!" That's nice NPR, but I listen to you for two reasons: Morning Edition and Car Talk.

4. Why are so many celebrities pregnant? I am really sick of being on Brangelina "bump" watch or having to hear another story about how Jessica Alba was pleasantly surprised that her loser-boyfriend, excuse me--fiance--impregnated her, or how Matthew McConaughey's girlfriend's bun in the oven is just such a gift. Ugh. Can't some of you people practice safe sex? Or pay a little incognito visit to a Planned Parenthood? According to every weekly tabloid, having a baby is trendy. Seriously? Procreating is trendy? That's ridiculous. I wonder if celebrities' publicists say to them, "Hey Actress, your photos aren't popping up in People Mag like they use to, how about you find some schlep on the street and get knocked up?" I absolutely love kids and babies and think it is so great when a family grows but I am just sick of the way babies have become a part of the standard celebrity entourage. It's exhausting.