Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Lunchtime List

Since the strike ended, I seem to have less time to blog. Poor me. I still dislike the use of the word blog, both in general and as a verb. The remaining thoughts I would like to share shall henceforth be delivered in my preferred format--a list.

1. I love yoga.

2. I have discovered a yoga studio in Santa Monica that is "donation only." Their idea is that even if you can't afford to practice yoga, that doesn't mean you shouldn't be able to. This policy really works in my favor.

3. For a few Tuesdays in a row I have been going to a yoga class at 8:30 pm, when I get home from work. The teacher always gives a fantastic workout--actually, last night I think I sweat the most I have ever sweat in a yoga class. Which means my own perspiration may have ended the California drought. It was disgusting. Anyways, the thing I can't stand about the teacher is the amount of talking she does during class. She has a tendency to talk about how terrible her life was before she discovered yoga; how her mom was an alcoholic and her dad left them, and she only ever dated guys who cheated, and now she's a single parent, and the worst heartbreak she suffered was when her dog of 10 years dad, and on and on and on. She also has a tendency to tell these stories while the class is in some sort of pose for an extended period of time. I am sorry, but I don't want to hear about your miserable pre-yoga life while I am struggling not to tear my crotchal region in pigeon pose.

4. Prior to living in California I always noticed that yoga classes were mostly female. When I moved here I discovered this gender statistic is not true at all. Good for you, California men, for being both healthy, and secure enough in your masculinity to wear flowy pants and point your toes!

5. I love the food at Trader Joes. Specific favorites would be the dark chocolate covered blueberries or the organic ginger snaps.

6. I hate shopping at Trader Joes. The parking lot alone is a nightmare, and with LA drivers, it often feels like a battlefield in which remaining passive doesn't leave you dead, it leaves you sitting in your car for a solid half hour while some aggressive assholes keep stealing spots in front of you. When you make it inside the place, it only gets worse when you practically have to knock people out just to get to the trail mix in the nut aisle. I wonder when shopping at TJ's is actually a pleasant experience. Perhaps around 10 am on a Tuesday, when all the corporate hacks are at work, the housewives and moms are at yoga, and the "artists" are still sleeping. Alas, I'll never know.

7. Without meaning to, I oftentimes wake up to my alarm clock and scream something at the top of my lungs. This morning it was, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME!" and then I ran into the shower. I again had to scream when near the end of the shower, one of my roommates had turned on her shower, consequently turning mine to a driplet of ice water. Morning is not a good time for me.

8. Currently my right eye is smaller than the left. I officially have a wonky eye, which means I have something in common with Paris Hilton. The shame.

9. Roommate #2 is shopping around her cat aka The Devil Incarnate. I want to have a going away party in which we honor his departure by doing the things he loves best--jumping over the sofa while simultaneously clawing at innocent bystanders and then eating a stuffed animal or maybe a tax return.

10. I want to rewind back to mid-November when I didn't have a job and my days consisted of eating, sleeping, exercising, "networking," surfing the interwebs, napping, watching tv, eating, sleeping. Some call it unemployment, but I prefer temporary retirement.

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