I'm Moving Back to Maine

I just experienced my first earthquake. Contrarily to how I might have expected, I did not remain cool. Well, I did remain cool enough to crack a joke in the confused shock afterward, but I am NOT OKAY right now.

Here’s how it went down:

I’m sitting at my desk writing a blog entry (seriously, how’s that for ironic? I am thinking death is imminent while I am putting the finishing touches on a post about some inconsequential thing I’ve learned in Hollywood) when all of a sudden the floor starts quivering. The shaking becomes gradually more intense, the building is clearly moving and I start to look around at the people around me and suddenly all capability for logical thought escapes me as I dumbly ask, “Is this an earthquake?”
Someone else yells out, “get under your desk!” and like an incapacitated, blind lemming, I do.

I am freaked out beyond belief at this point, thinking to myself, “This is it. This is the big one—that one crazy massive earthquake they are predicting is going to bury Los Angeles, and this shaking is only the beginning and holy shit I am on the top floor of a giant building with a hole in the middle and this is so not how I envisioned my death.”

And just as suddenly as it came on, the heavy shaking subsided. Dead silence in my wing of the building and as everyone is looking around at each other in shock, I yelled out, “I’m moving back to Maine.” An eruption of laughter followed, but while I sat in my chair looking around, a move back East didn’t seem like such a bad idea. I am not well suited for natural disasters of this capacity. Sure I survived Ice Storm ’98 back in Falmouth Foreside but tectonic plate movement is a lot different than some severe winter weather.

According to CNN it was a 5.8, which if I remember correctly, is pretty large. Everything in the building seems okay, and per the annoying security announcement we are now secure. I however, am convinced the building is still moving, but have been told repeatedly it’s not. Apparently, I am losing it.

Uh I am off to take a moment to thank my lucky stars, then put together a handy earthquake survival kit.

Or buy a one way ticket to Maine.