Wednesday, September 01, 2010

The Airport Adventure of a Lifetime!

So last night I left Los Angeles on that red eye headed back to Maine. For lack of travel companions and really, anything better to do, I spontaneously decided to "live-tweet" the majority of my travel experience. Here it is in its gloriously annoying chronological entirety, from airport arrival to the security checkpoint, to the Hudson News, to the plane, to my layover, and all the way to Maine - my Airport Adventure of a Lifetime!

I think Sam Axe would approve of my travel clothes, don't you?

Airport Security Check vs. The Jolly Rancher. It's a race against time!

I'm about to take a massive tweet dump. #gross

Dear Air Tran, thanks for calling me 5 times to warn me about a gate change but not telling me about the 40 min flight delay. #WTFisAirTran

That was fast. Airport Security Check: 1 Stamos: 0 #thejollyrancher

I'm offended that no one else in line has acknowledged my Chuck Finley t-shirt. Apparently you all have horrible taste in television.

Remember that time that lady called me a cultural fascist for hating Private Practice? That was awesome.

Omg thank GOD I found the Nicholas Sparks section: #gross

Tucker Max - for your sake, I hope they don't serve beer in hell.

I'm wearing jeggings. #gross

Airports: the one place it's socially acceptable to drink alone. #beerme

I lost my license and have developed the terrible habit of flashing my passport as though it were a police badge.

I just realized I should probably head over to the direction of my gate. At some point. #thejollyrancher

Ever worry you're gonna take an Adderall when you mean to take a Xanax? #whitegirlproblems

They should really just rename Air Tran to Budget. Just Budget.

I just dominated See's Candies. It's the Airport Trip of a Lifetime!

Licorice, Peach, Buttered Popcorn and a whole lot of Sizzling Cinnamon: #jellybelly

Air Tran is the Fung Wah of airlines.

I don't want this airport adventure to end! It's like I'm playing Tom Hanks in my own Tom Hanks movie.

Going to the airplane bathroom - excuse me, lavatory - is miserable.

No seriously, what IS Air Tran?

Spotted - baby who will potentially cry at 6 o'clock.

That's right Mr. Flight Attendant. You get me that non-bottled water.

Of all the drugs I'm prescribed I'd have to say Xanax has the worst chemical aftertaste. #whitegirlproblems

This will be the best flight ever, by default. There's no one sitting next to me.

Sir, you will have to pry this mobile device from my cold dead hands if you want me to power off. 

Woke up to creepy dude two seats over patting my back. Never again, Air Tran.

First thing I spot on layover in Baltimore: #sillybands #Imbaaaaack

MAINE! (Thus ends tweet dump. Going off the grid. Thanks for playing)

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