Match Date #2

I left work last night and the last thing I wanted to do was to go on a blind date. I wanted nothing more than to put on pajamas and go to bed. (Incredible how one sleepless night the beginning of the week will offset every day thereafter, apparently I haven't quite adjusted to the whole less-than-10 hours of sleep thing yet). Drive on Sunset back to my apartment, I was struggling to amp myself up to go on a date, as I felt like my eyes were already struggling to say open at 7:30 pm. Wow, I thought, I feel lucky for the guy who gets to meet me in this state!

Anyways, I pulled my shit together, gussied up in my East Coast prep meets California casual best, and headed to the designated meeting spot, which was the always crowded bar/restaurant Father's Office. Even though the restaurant is walking distance from my apartment, I drove--as a safety precaution (is that over thinking?) and because I needed to do some grocery shopping after the date (I have a regular breakfast of 2 eggs over-easy and recently I'd been forced to resort to the oatmeal at work routine).

At exactly 8 pm I walked up to Father's Office and introduced myself to the guy who was clearly my date, waiting for me outside. We walked into the restaurant and finding it far too crowded we went to some small Italian restaurant a few doors down.

Here are some general thoughts... First of all, I am going to refer to date #2 as LT (stands for LOW TALKER... I had to ask him to repeat himself several times throughout the course of the meal). LT was a nice guy, a remarkable improvement from Kal Penn--that's for sure--and the conversation went reasonably smoothly, and (bonus!) he paid for my dinner. I offered to split it with him but he kept saying his mother would kill him. And they say chivalry is dead! Despite the niceness, one thing really bugged me. Here is someone who on paper came off as outgoing, sarcastic, clever, etc--big personality and really interesting. Even in the few emails we had exchanged, I had gathered this opinion, and therefore I had some expectations. However, in person, where was the shine? The excitement? The personality? There had been so much potential! I can understand that someone might be nervous, but I guess the thing is that when it comes to ME--I am exactly who I say I am. I write how I talk. There are no illusions here.

After dinner we parted ways and I checked my watch as I walked back to my car. Exactly 9 pm. Wait a minute--is that normal? The entire thing was only one hour? This has to be weird.

I consulted with Roomate #2 about all these things this morning, while I lamented that Match.com was clearly not for me and just better for writing material and she pointed out a few things:

1. I've only been on two dates.
2. One hour for a dinner date is a little odd, but it happens, especially if you just aren't into it.
3. Maybe I am intimidating.

I think all these thoughts are excellent, especially number three. So I guess that means I need to either tone it down a little bit or find someone with a personality that's big enough to match mine...

I am also considering just meeting with weirdos so I can get some really good stories out of this whole thing. Oh which reminds me... here is the best email I've received on Match so far (I have yet to respond, not sure that I will). Enjoy.

So I figured it might be easier if I told you this right away, in order to get it out of the way so it doesn't have to be uncomfortable later.

In 8th grade I went to a movie with my girlfriend and two other buddies. We got there late, the theater was packed, so we had to sit in the very front row. That was the first mistake on my part. I also chose to wear loose fitting shorts over boxers that day. Mistake number two. As we were watching the movie, I decided to pull what, to me, seemed a natural move when you are in junior high and take your girlfriend to a theater: despite the fact there were several hundred people directly behind us, I leaned over and started kissing her. That was my final mistake. I stopped kissing my girlfriend when my friend, sitting immediately to my left, started poking me and pointing at my lap. Not even realizing it, I was clearly showing my "excitement" about the kiss. My "enthusiasm" was poking up under my shorts, illuminated perfectly by the light from the screen. Both my buddies were just about falling out of their seats giggling, and my girlfriend pushed herself as far away from me as possible, clearly as uncomfortable as a 14 year old girl could be. For years after that fateful day, my friends called me Woodrow, and, perhaps coincidentally or not, my girlfriend broke up with me a few weeks later. And that's my most embarrassing moment. I hope now that I have shared that with you things will be easier.

So, do you have any embarrassing stories? I promise once you tell one to someone it makes everything just go much smoother. Trust me.