I've spent the past three days either in my bed or on the sofa. When I haven't been sleeping, I've watched a total of ten movies. Yes ten.
I have to admit something about these movies. When I am sick, the only movies I want to watch are really, really, really crappy romantic comedies (henceforth referred to as rom coms). You're probably wondering how crappy they can be, and let me tell you, it can get bad, but this time I seem to have outdone myself. It would also appear that the worse I feel the crappier they get. With the exception of three of the ten, it was one crapfest after the next. And now, in chronological viewing order, here are my reviews:
Tuesday (feeling pretty miserable)
I Could Never Be Your Woman
I guess I should start out my brief review of this film by mentioning that this never made it to theaters. Nope, this was a direct-to-DVD release, exlusively at Blockbuster. Thing is, I am a huge Paul Rudd fan, as well as Michelle Pfieffer, and as they were the romantic leads I just couldn't resist. The general premise is Michelle is an over 40 TV writer and Paul is the new star of her show. Rom com ensues. It was somewhat entertaining to watch a film about this lovely industry I am now a part of, but overall the movie was offbeat, and while it was a little painful and trite at times, I will say it was better than some of the fluff I watched later on.
I Am Legend
Okay this isn't a romantic comedy at all, I realize. But it's one of the nine movies I watched so I have to include it. You all know the general idea--Will Smith is the last man on earth fighting off some deadly plague that turns humans into crazy zombie-like creatures who've taken over Manhattan. What's the deal with all these movies that predict doomsday in New York City? Cloverfield and now this... and there are probably a bunch of others (I am still too sick to provide well-researched evidence at the moment, but just trust me here). Stop trying to destroy NYC movie-makers! Anyways, I enjoyed this, but I wouldn't recommend watching before a codeine-induced sleep--it makes for weird dreams.
I love this movie, I do. I will love any and all movies in which the Boston Red Sox are a central component to the film. Sure it's hokey and Jimmy Fallon as an actual rom com actor is a little painful to watch at times, but it's fun and cute and brings back all those unbelievable feelings of when the Sox won the world series in 2004. That was awesome.
Wednesday (worst day, illness-wise, and you'll see in my movie selections)
Catch and Release
This movie is hardly a rom com. Bad idea Jennifer Garner, I hope you took some time to seriously consider your agent choice over this one. The entire movie starts out with Garner's character, an outdoorsy yet perfectly coiffed girl named Gray, at her fiance's funeral, on what was supposed to be her wedding day. Yeah, because that has ROM COM written all over it. There are lots of quirky secondary characters and weird plot movement and ultimately she falls in love with dead-fiance's best friend. It's uncomfortable.
This is less of a rom com and more of a certifiable good movie. I saw this years ago but didn't get most of the jokes so it was fun to re-watch after living in LA for some time. Steve Martin wrote and stars and it's pretty bizarre with a forgettable cast except for a perfectly selected Sarah Jessica Parker. It's also a sweet return to the early 90s, with some lame 80s jokes thrown in. Definitely recommend.
Another one where someone dies in the beginning. What's the deal with all these rom coms needing people to die for there to be love and humor. Something isn't right about that. Anyways, Catherine Zeta-Jones (who has difficulty masking her accent) plays a high strung chef who has to look after her dead sister's niece and gets in fights with Aaron Eckhart's "opera loving sous chef" (I think he's described that way on the back of the DVD). Eckhart is supposed to be hot I guess but his haircut just makes him look awkward and really emphasizes the giant cleft in his chin. I saw him at the Whitney last year in NYC and he looked much more attractive in real life. Anyways, the movie predictable, not all that funny, but there are some steamy love scenes and when a girl is knee deep in amoxicilin and more cough drops than the local CVS, I'll take what I can get.
Because I Said So
This was disgustingly bad. So bad it hurt. Mandy Moore might be beautiful and they may have found a great wardrobe consultant for the show, but wow was this painful. Diane Keaton could really do better. It was painful. I don't even know what else to say. Three sisters and an overbearing mother and internet dating. If that doesn't sound like hell than I don't know what does. I don't even understand how this movie got made in the first place. And yes, Mandy sings. Twice.
Thursay (first signs of improvement, but a return trip to the doctors)
Failure to Launch
Seen this one before too, and I actually like it. Sue me. How can you not enjoy Matthew McConaughey? And Sarah Jessica Parker? And Bradley Cooper who, in my opinion, is one of the most underrated actors out there today (go watch Alias and you'll see what I mean). Sure it's predictable and everyone's hair is way too perfect, but it's fun and easy and pretty much the poster child for a rom com.
The TV Set
Not a rom com but a well done look at all the politics that go behind getting a pilot on the air. This was actually a great film to watch now having worked in this town for a little, as I think it was accurate in portraying how networks, pilot season, and TV production work. Okay yes, I watched it for David Duchovny, but it was really good, I swear.
Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason
Another one I've already seen, and definitely not as good as the first Bridget Jones but a guaranteed laugh. (Actually not so much laughing because at the moment that leads to violent coughing.) Colin Firth makes me feel better. He's an antibiotic to any sickness. Ew I can't believe I just wrote that. I need to return to health so I can no longer waste away in the land of crappy movies.
I just realized how much I spent at Blockbuster in the past three days. I don't know what's more embarrassing--the total bill of all these crappy movies or the fact they all know me there now. I'm that sick girl with bad taste.