Dear General News Outlets,
On behalf of the jaded, apathetic and reasonable, please cease all coverage of the so-called Miley Cyrus "photo scandal." I don't care, excuse me, we don't care that some 15 year old superstar is posing in an "artistic" photo spread for Vanity Fair. The photos are hardly scandalous. If I were you I'd be more concerned that she looks hypothermic or like Gollum's distant cousin (seriously, who thought that pale blue-hued skin and bright red lips was a good idea? She looks like the poster child for Goths 'R' Us or something) than the fact that she is "topless" behind a sheet. These photos are hardly newsworthy, and frankly, in my opinion, so is Miley Cyrus. You, popular media conglomerates, are only perpetuating the Miley Cyrus (or is it Hannah Montana?) machine, which has no want for perpetuation. I suppose her star power and money-making capacity pay your bills, but why create a scandal out of nothing? It's not even good tabloid gossip. It's purely annoying.
And while we're at it, can someone put a gag order on Spencer Pratt?