Bring Yourself to Work Day

Loyal Readers.

Today is the day. The day I start my new job, a job in which I will actually be doing work and will likely have less time to blog. I am saddened by this thought, but also encouraged by the knowledge that I will do everything I can to not let this get in the way of my noble and constant blog reports. But just don't send me hate mail if I haven't updated in 24 hours or something.

Am I nervous for my new gig? HAH NERVES ARE FOR WIMPS.

Yes, quite nervous. Most of my anxiety was about my first day of work outfit, but now that that's been settled I can focus on less important issues. Like orientation.

I have never had formal job orientation so I am not really sure what to expect. I am sort of envisioning I will be forced to sign mountains of legal documents I won't bother to read while watching videos in which celebrities will reenact sexual harassment scenarios. Perhaps there will be a lecture on privacy and secrets, and maybe someone will utter the phrase, "While carrying a gun is legal if registered, it is highly frowned upon." Most likely it will be about using a phone and a computer--very important new skills.

Ooooohhh I am also nervous for the lunch break. Oh my god I am totally going to be that awkward kid who's eating by herself on the first day and overcompensates for her nerves with way too many obvious jokes, pity laughs, and friendly nods.

Whatever, nerves aside I am ready to KICK SOME ASS. I don't know how much ass kicking is allowed for in orientation but I am going to OWN IT.

Wish me luck... and keep your fingers crossed that I will be able to blog about a multitude of uncomfortable scenarios by lunchtime.