Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Things That Kill Fairies

So the UTA list (which I believe I have referenced before as being an excellent source for job-finding in Hollywood, and if I haven't... well that's what it is), has now gone online. In blog form. And THANK GOD or else we wouldn't all get to see postings like this one:

Assistant - Female Celebrity/Mogul

Successful female celebrity/entrepreneur seeks trustworthy assistant. She is very high-profile so you must always be presentably and stylishly dressed, as you will be seen in paparazzi shots behind/next to her. Have had problems with assistants with bad skin in past. Must be perfectly moisturized, small unclogged pores, no blackheads, pockmarks, Café au lait spots, eczema, rosacea. Skin tone must complement celebrity in all lighting conditions. Please email resume, recent photograph and 3 references who can attest to the flawless condition of your skin (Think dermatologist, waxer, etc.). 9/24
Labels: assistant, celebrity, dermatologist, mogul, skin

Somewhere, a fairy just died. (Clap your hands if you believe! I BELIEVE IN YOU TINKERBELL). This makes my head hurt. Welcome to Hollywood, where your dream of touting perfect skin as an ASSISTANT can finally come true.

P.S. If you didn't get that Peter Pan reference you should be ashamed of yourself.

UPDATE: Methinks this blog is a fake. Either that or commentary from an assistant on the actual UTA list... any opinions?

UPDATE #2: Definitely a fake. If I actually took the time to fully read things that I find I would have noticed immediately at the top of the blog it says "alternate version" to the actual list. How clever. Sadly, these posts are probably more realistic than their official sugarcoated counterparts.

1 comment:

Cakemaster said...

HAHAHAHAH an assistant with perfect skin. I wouldn't even know what to say to that if it was real.