Pre-Holiday General Function Incapacity & Blockage (PHGFIB)
In which you are unable to accomplish anything at work
Symptoms
Excessive emailing to friends regarding insignificant topics (i.e. Twilight, prematurely planning birthday parties, Bollywood)
Extended lunches at Panda Express
Instant knowledge of certain despicable Hills stars' Mexican weddings
Inability to remember anything that happened earlier that day
Desire to leave work at 4 pm because it's getting dark out
Constant daydreaming about huge success of first novel
Constant daydreaming about dating Robert Pattinson
Treatment
None; just make it to Wednesday afternoon...
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