My dear friend Jon is all away across the country and I miss him so. Thankfully, he’s been watching Twilight this morning and emailing me his thoughts. Below, a continuous (but temporarily interrupted—he had to get a message) commentary. Each paragraph signifies a new email, my responses are in italics, my comments on his thoughts in parenthetical italics. If you haven’t seen Twilight you probably won’t get it. And you are dead to me.
Oh and the he = Robert Pattinson (RP) and KS is Kristen Stewart... in case you are pop culturally illiterate.
How are you? I'm watching Twilight.
I love that new Volvo he drives
Washington = depressing.
I love her two friends! Good actresses.
Money, sex, money, sex, cat?!?!
He looks Japanese in that way that Kate Moss looks Japanese
KS and RP do monotone brilliantly
I would love to go skiing with RP; no ski lift
This part is very "Where the Red Fern" (I have absolutely no idea what he’s talking about here.)
Bella is a strong independent woman
Annie,” you are like my own personal brand of heroin."
Love that scene. I love boys who sparkle.
Go to West Hollywood
LOVE the Wayfarers scene... he's embracing his new image.
That's my favorite scene of the ENTIRE film. He's so hot getting out of that car...
Tofu metaphor was dead on
The Indians vs. RP is lost upon me, should I bet patient?
Oh you will learn. Through historical re-enactment, you will learn.
Love the fam!! Brilliant!!!!!!!!!!!! This is so Terry Gilliam!
looks like he just farted in every scene and is hoping no one smelled it? Wait for the spider monkey line too...
The Claire de Lune scene works really well. Seriously. Woah, and their off! We are in spider monkey. I have to go get a massage. I’ll be back at 4 to continue this cinematic bonbon.