OBAMA HAS COME TO LA TO PERSONALLY THANK ME FOR WINNING NEVADA FOR HIM!

Okay so the subject line of this post is obviously not true. However it did not prevent me from telling EVERYONE I work with that this was the clear reason President Obama (I still get excited writing that) was coming to LA, and (as rumor would have it) staying in the hotel across the street from my office. Co-workers were only marginally amused (as with most of what comes out of my mouth). Unfortunately yesterday afternoon was so hectic I didn't even get to write the fake scenario in which I envisioned our impressive president greeting me and shaking my hand and commending me for my hard work in Pahrump and for all those lives I touched and for loving freedom so very much. And then his little visit went and f-ed up my morning commute so now I just don't know if I have it in me to write this sure-to-be hilarious/award-winning scene in which I would be rewarded for my patriotic devotion.