Tuesday, September 08, 2009

An Open Letter to Whoever Handles the Architecture of the Parking Lot at Trader Joes

Dear Trader Joes,

We get it. You're awesome. You're the king of the grocery stores, what with your perfectly marinated tender beef steaks, precisely cut fresh mango slices, and the most delicious Gorgonzola crackers I've ever found. However, your wide plethora of delicious treats and insanely good prices do not mean that you can just do whatever the fuck you want with your parking lot.

See, I went to the new Trader Joes that recently opened up on Olympic Blvd (right near Ralph's, which is definitely a big F YOU to that store) thrilled to maybe hit the market monolith during an off-hour, or perhaps discover this brand-spanking-new store would have heavenly parking. But NO. Just like the TJs on Pico, the one on Santa Monica Blvd in West Hollywood, and every goddamn Trader Joes I have EVER been to--the parking lot was a complete clusterfuck, regardless of the completely worthless - let's call him this because no other name seems to apply - "traffic director" who could not care less about the actually efficiency of parking.

Yes, sure I am a little riled up. But this is because the whole parking lot experience, getting in and out, took so long that it really just prolonged my trip home and the point of all this grocery shopping in the first place: MY DINNER.

So next time, whoever you are, crazy person who has zero understanding of utilizing space, try a little harder on the Trader Joe's parking lot, please. I don't care how good that sample of Garlic Naan they're handing out happens to be.

Regards,
Stamos

2 comments:

Samartdog said...

I'll tell you Who Handles the Architecture of the Parking Lot at Trader Joe's --- the same asshole Who Handles the Architecture of the Parking Lot at Whole Foods.

Your rant was so superb, I'd only add one word. Make that clusterfuck a SADISTIC clusterfuck!

Sarah said...

So true!! Every trader joes I have been to has terrible parking too....real frustrating!