Thursday, February 17, 2011

Why I Love Celine Dion, Pt. 10

You guys. Yesterday, we here at Jaw Wired Shut (we being me, but whatever) witnessed a miracle. Yes, a miracle! And of monstrous proportions, no less!

Yesterday, Wednesday February 16th, 2011 was akin to the Second Coming of Jesus Christ. Or the Talking Heads reunion. Or the Arrested Development movie.


Yesterday, Celine Dion returned to Las Vegas:


She's a Goddamned Mother Theresa. (Source: Just Jared)


That's right. My favorite alien in all the world makes a glorious return to Caeser's Palace for a two year stint performing at the Colosseum.

Do you know what this means? Like, do you understand the lasting implications this has on my life? If you're familiar with my "Why I Love Celine Dion" series, then yes you are. But what you may not know is that I have never seen her in concert (cue gasp of shock!) - partially out of fear that I would pass out from a mixture of excitement and supreme secondhand embarrassment, but mostly because I just haven't had the chance yet - and now, NOW, is the time. There are no excuses. I have two years to get my ass to Caeser's Palace and see this woman sing a song for a Ford car and pump her chest and perform a goddamn spectacle and maybe, if I'm lucky, tell a few stories about Canada or her weird-looking husband. MY GOD. This is it. Celine Dion, it's happening. EVERYTHING IS HAPPENING!

2 comments:

Ashley Lyddane said...

I saw her on Oprah yesterday and IMMEDIATELY thought of you. If you didn't catch it you must try to find it because there was one part where she thinks Oprah has taken cameras into her uterus...it was prety hilarious.

kelly glenn said...

STAMOS!! all of the videos linked in your previous posts on why you love celine are no longer available!! Hook a girl up...i've got to witness this brilliance you speak of;)
kgboylan@aol.com