Monday, October 06, 2008

That Time I Fell in Love With a Water Cooler

Saturday was a good day. I woke up. Went to a yoga class. Came home. Made some eggs. Showered. Sat down with Roomie #1 and popped in a disc of Friday Night Lights. Opened a bottle of wine. Got drunk. Four hours later (and a second bottle of wine) we went on a raid to a friend's house. Had some beers. Hung out. Shot an audition tape for our friend's friend (only in LA). Came home. Made grand plans to go out and make out with a boy (NOT THE SAME ONE, COME ON). Popped in another disc of Friday Night Lights whilst discussing said grand plans. Passed out before midnight. Woke up on the sofa around 12:30 am disoriented and feeling wine hungoveryish (just made that word up, go with it) and consumed mass quantities of fresh, delicious water.

OH YEAH.
THAT'S RIGHT.
I FORGOT TO MENTION THE BEST THING EVER ABOUT SATURDAY THAT MADE ME 100% HAPPIER AND COOLER (both in degree and social status), DESPITE THE FACT THAT THE ONLY MAJOR ACTIVITY I DID ON A SATURDAY WAS A YOGA CLASS AND RATHER THAN MAKE OUT WITH ANY BOYS, BOTH MY ROOMMATE AND MYSELF GOT WINE DRUNK, WATCHED EPIC TV AND PASSED OUT:

WE GOT A WATER COOLER.

Okay. So yes, that was an unnecessary use of capitalization (and after re-reading it was VERY confusing, apologies) but LET ME TELL YOU (here I go again), that having a water cooler AT HOME is the best thing ever. First of all, I AM SO HYDRATED I have pee to all the time and especially when I wake up in the morning and that is A VERY GOOD THING and there is nothing better than waking up in the morning and relieving your bladder. I also enjoy waking up and putting on chapstick. (I am not at all surprised there were no make-outs with boys in my recent history, are you?).

Secondly, I can have about eight cups of tea a day (OR MORE! IT'S UP TO ME!) with no hassle, thanks to the glorious water cooler. Which means I am going to be really energized, or really calm, depending on what kind of tea I choose to make, like right now--OMG I AM GOING TO BREW MY MOST FAVORITE OF THE CELESTIAL SEASONINGS VARIETY, Sleepytime. Which is also the name of one of my iTunes playlists.

And finally, WATER. IS. AWESOME.

Henceforth, thus I shall visa via decree that the water cooler has changed my life for the better.

OK, chill, I get that this may perhaps, in theory, be wonderful but probably is doing something terrible for the environment or the economy (or probably both, because let's face it: everything today is totally fucking over BOTH the environment and the economy) but goddamnit I make like NO money and work pretty hard (okay, I work moderately hard) and just want some delicious cold water at my leisure and YES it's home delivery which further supports my theory that people in LA are excessively lazy and now that I have lived here for a year (OMG A YEAR!) I have become the very thing I so often mock (an Angeleno? HELL NO. NEVER. Maybe a little). BUT ALLOW ME MY LOVE AFFAIR WITH OUR WATER COOLER.

I'll let that tirade marinate. And now I am going to watch an episode of The Hills whilst I enjoy some fresh tea (thank you water cooler, love of my life) and cry while I watch Lauren Conrad make massive quantities of money for doing NOTHING. NOTHING AT ALL.

P.S. Obama 2008

No drugs were used in the creation of this blog post. Only water. But apparently you CAN get drunk on water. Someone told me that once.

2 comments:

Cakemaster said...

I'm actually jealous. Hot tea whenever sounds good to me.
Your posts are always so funny!

Katherine said...

you forgot sleepytime 2.