Periodic Table of Nerdery

I love this:

Credit: Geekologie

My one complaint? They don't have X-Files fans on there. 'Scuse me, X-Philes. However, this does make me feel a bit better about my level of nerdom. I mean, I don't actually fall into any of these categories at a full-fledged 100%. Phew!

"Everything you need to know is in my dancing."

Some thoughts:

1) So glad Moose is back (if you don't know to whom I am referring, you are obviously not a Step Up fan and should go educate yourself immediately).
2) I want to live in a house with dancers. Live together, dance together, battle together? Yes. YES.
3) I will be seeing this opening night. And many more times after.
4) ONE MOVE CAN SET A WHOLE GENERATION FREE. Words to live by.
5) 3D.

That is all.

if life were a Japanese game show, (fill in anything else here)

Here's the "We Are the World" parody video you never knew you needed. Seriously. Watch it all the way through.



Thanks to my friend Christina, who not only provided the title for this post, but sent me this brilliant/amazing/terrifying video.

Also, I'm considering putting out a Craigslist ad for a Japanese game show announcer to follow me around and narrate my life. Everything would be so much more exciting.

This Mashup is GENIUS

Already love the xx, and add Biggie to the mix? Brilliant. Simply brilliant.



I'm OBSESSED. "VCR" and "Juicy" (the second song) are my favorite.

Credit: The Daily What.

Why I Love Celine Dion, Pt. 9

HAPPY 42nd Birthday Celine Dion!

God, it's practically a national holiday here at Jaw Wired Shut. I'm going to celebrate first by reading all the previous Why I Love Celine Dion posts, and then do a few chest pumps while I sing "My Heart Will Go On."

Yes, she is 42. Girl looks AH-MAZING though, right? Well, you know why? She's an alien. No really. Trust me on this. I KNOW MY ALIENS. Celine = an ET. THINK ABOUT IT. It makes sense. You know it does.

Also, she's better than you:

Okay, HILLS, you got me, I'm coming back.

So remember how I never used to shut up about The Hills? Well, I stopped watching after the third season or so, but as this upcoming season is its final hurrah, I figure I may as well pay homage to the show I love to hate more than any other, and I can't think of a better way to pay said homage than to, well, watch it. Or at least set it to record so I can fast forward through all the Speidi nonsense and gratuitous LA scenery-porn montages. So that might leave me with about seven minutes of actual "plot" but I'm gonna love every partially-scripted moment.



First of all, I hate Speidi. I do. And they are both following me on Twitter. It's disgusting. But really, they disgust me. They are miserable. MISERABLE. Can we banish them from society? Or excommunicate them papal-style? I'm completely serious here.

However, everything else in that overblown extended preview looks AWESOME. I can't wait. BRING IT ON.

What do you think? Who else is going to watch? And do we think fan favorite LC will make a final appearance? Will we return to Laguna Beach where it all began? God I hope so...

Upfronts are coming!

It's that time of the year again folks, UPFRONTS ARE COMING!

To remind you, upfronts are that big dog and pony show for advertisers where all the stars and the talent are paraded around and we get a nice feel for what the big new TV shows are going to be and why we should all spend money investing in these shows. More importantly, we get a sense for what pilots have series pick-ups (and WHY) and a coveted place on the 2010-2011 TV programming guide. May only the best be picked up! (No seriously. No more crappy TV, please.)

Here's the upfront schedule:

Mon. 5/17 - NBC, FBC
Tues. 5/18 - ABC
Weds. 5/19 - CBS, TBS & TNT
Thurs. 5/20 – The CW

Full details here.

Be still my nerd-heart...

So as we know, I love all things French and all thing social media... how adorable is this French Twitter logo?




Oh and Quoi de neuf is French for "what's up!"

What the fuck happened to Val Kilmer?

Have you guys seen The Saint? If not, you should be ashamed of yourself. That movie is AWESOME. Not only does it have a lot of cool stuff with SCIENCE (and you know how I love science) but it’s all about like Russian assholes and spys and Val Kilmer and Elisabeth Shue are HOT together. Val Kilmer is HOT in this film. Like Top Gun or Batman Kilmer hot.

Well, last night, I saw Hot Tube Time Machine (also AWESOME) and there was a preview for the SNL-inspired film MacGruber, which apparently costars the actor formerly known as Val Kilmer.



Seriously, WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO VAL KILMER? As a friend of mine recently commented, he looks like Mario Batali. Maybe worse. WHY VAL? WHY?

I'd like to volunteer myself for tonsillitis. Also: I'm missing so much NCIS.

Today I had what some might consider the quickest doctor's visit ever. It was at 1:15pm, I arrived exactly on time, was ushered back to an exam room a minute after waiting, and after the doc took a good look at me, listened to my breathing, etc etc, I was out of there at 1:25pm. No joke. It was awesome. Especially because I went into the appointment knowing exactly what I was going to get - antibiotics and some cough syrup with codeine in it. Bingo. (Guess who's sleeping like a champ tonight...)

However, I did take maybe a minute of this incredibly efficient consultation to propose to my doctor that I have my tonsils removed. Recently, everyone's been telling me that the reason I get sick allllllllllll the time is because of my tonsils. The doctor wasn't buying it though, so instead I'd just like to throw it out there: If anyone could give me tonsillitis, that would be AWESOME.

Also, normally when I am sick I just watch marathons of various television shows, in between dozing on and off. Last time (in this case, two weeks ago) I watched all of Torchwood: Children of Earth. Well, right now I am housesitting, and I know my TV at home is just recording hours upon hours upon hours (LITERALLY) of NCIS, my new TV addiction. And man I would kill to just be in front of that TV watching hours upon hours upon hours of NCIS, but oh well. I guess I'll have to deal, what with a beautiful house to myself...

Actually, I'd like to take suggestions or recommendations for a new TV show to watch... last weekend a few Twitter followers were excited I was picking up NCIS, and some others recommended I watch Supernatural (I'm still not convinced, by the way... I am very wary of this show for some reason)... So anyway, if you were sick and pretty much had an entire weekend to do absolutely nothing but recover and watch TV, what would you watch and why? Leave me tips in the comments!

Art + Music

This made me smile.



I have to give credit to my dad for sending me this music video.

When you wish upon a star...

As you may have noticed, either from the day-before post, or the lack of posting, I spent all day last Friday with my roommate DiTonto and her mom, who had been in town visiting us for the week, at the magical place that is Disneyland.

Now, what I may have failed to mention is that this was really my first Disney experience. The one where I was pretty much a baby doesn’t count. It’s also worth mentioning I have never been to a Six Flags or a Busch Gardens, and my only amusement park experience is Funtown USA, aka Maine’s pathetic excuse for a theme park (for proof of this lackluster place, please enjoy their budget website). I have also not been on a rollercoaster since I was in England in eighth grade, and I have never been on a ride that goes upside down.

So what I am trying to prepare you for here, is that this trip to Disneyland, was, as Joe Biden would say, A BIG FUCKING DEAL.

I’m not going to give you a full minute-by-minute recap, but I am going to share a few thoughts, and some pictures…

First, up did you know you get those mouse ears embroidered with your name? YOUR NAME! And if it’s your first time at the park you get a first time pin, also with your name! And, because I love Michael Jackson (and crewneck sweatshirts), after seeing his aspiring Star Wars film Captain EO I got a totally rad Captain EO sweatshirt.



I almost started crying on two rides, coincidentally the ride that kicked off the day – Star Tours (when I saw C3PO, as well as the promise of visiting Hoth and Endor I freaked out), and then the ride that closed the day, the Finding Nemo submarine adventure (because I love that movie so much it hurts).



DiTonto got a picture of me hugging a giant stuffed Winnie the Pooh, as well as a candid where I was standing on top of a picnic bench in an attempt to look at a Disney princess. She and Mama D also claimed they needed one of those leash backpacks that three-year-olds get. Because you know what? I FELT LIKE A CHILD. I DID. AND IT WAS AWESOME. I mean, it was magical. It really was.

Finally, I went on my first rollercoaster in 13 years: California Screamin’. And it went upside down! I took a picture of the picture they take when you are mid-ride, and while DiTonto’s face is covered in shadow, you can see the absolute glee on my face.



Obviously, my favorite part of this picture is the chick sitting in front of me. She looks like she is either about to vomit or murder someone. I am glad she didn’t do either.

GLEEEEEEEE!

All I have to say is that there will be both an all-Madonna episode and an appearance by Broadway star Idina Menzel once Glee returns to our television screens this April.



So yeah, get excited for the return of this gem of a show.

It's a big F-ing deal!

I don't have to move to Canada or Europe after all.

All TV, all the time.

I have cable TV. In my bedroom. This, my friends, is HUGE.

The only other time such a monumental event has taken place was during the six months after my jaw surgery, and two of those months I spent a lot of hours in bed, recuperating, so it was something of a necessity.

Now? Still a necessity! HAH! (Can you sense my attempt at rationalizing this new development, something I was raised by my parents to be adamantly against?) Well, it’s for my job. No, really. I know, I know – I have to watch TV for work. Poor me. See, prior to my new TV addition, we had one television with DVR that was shared by essentially 6 people give or take (depending on the day… we have a very social apartment). And when it became clear that I was going to need to start watching a lot of different shows we might not normally record, I decided to just bite the bullet and get some DirecTV for my room – this way I don’t have to worry about dueling recording schedules or things getting deleted before watching. And when I come home I don’t have to disrupt the roommates who may all already be watching something else that I either don’t want to watch, or don’t have time to watch.

HOWEVER, a direct result of this? I’ve started watching NCIS. Look, I like to claim I would never watch a show on CBS, but the thing is, this is the #1 most watched drama in the country, so I know I’m not alone here. It’s a good show. And it’s got some science stuff. And I LOVE science. Also – fun characters – it's essentially another one of those procedurals that sucks you in with interesting cases, and keeps you watching because of the character arcs.

As fun as it is to be watching a new show, there are some serious problems with this. First of all, NCIS is on ALL the time. It’s in syndication on USA which means that when USA had an NCIS Viewer’s Choice marathon on Saturday I was helpless – sucked in immediately. The other bad thing is that the main reason I got the cable hooked up in my room is because I’m supposed to be watching more comedy. Yep, I’m trying to watch the comedy slates on ALL the networks. So it doesn’t help when I find myself four hours into a procedural drama marathon. And one episode of How I Met Your Mother won’t make up for it.

But really, having cable in my room? It’s just awesome. This morning while I was getting ready for work I watched Obama sign the healthcare bill. IN MY ROOM. WHILE I WAS GETTING READY. Maybe this seems pretty 90s to a lot of you, but seriously, this is like, A MAJOR LIFE EVENT IN THE LIFE OF ANN P. STAMELL.

Now excuse me while I go research the best NCIS episodes I may have missed... Oh God. I just had a vision of my future: goodbye social life, I'm just going to be glued to TV marathons. Even worse is that my obsession with CNN and MSNBC and those all-news networks is probably going to come back. And don't even get me started on all the ESPN sports docs I am going to get sucked into... and have I mentioned NCIS?

In case you're interested...

MGMT is streaming their new album on their website, after it was leaked online. Check it out here. I've yet to form an opinion...

I'm totally hiring this dude for my next party

DISNEY! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Tomorrow I am going to Disneyland.

DISNEYLAND!!!!!!

I am so excited! I went to Disneyworld in Florida once when I was three years old but I don't remember anything besides singing "It's A Small World" to my brother over and over again afterwards. That's it though. I feel like there was a haunted house with ghosts I was scared of, too? No idea. I mean, really, my dad emailed me yesterday to say "I'm glad you'll have a Disney experience you can remember."

BUT I AM SO EXCITED. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT. I KIND OF HAVE TO PEE. LIKE EXCITED PEE.

This? Right here? THIS IS ME:

Econ 101

I have never taken an economics class, so this works very well for me:

Economic Models Explained

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.

ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.
You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows.
No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
One is mad and the other has had to be put in storage because of the health and safety risks of milking it.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
Nobody believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive

Happy St. Patty's!

Happy St. Patrick's day everyone! (A perfect excuse to slap a big Celtics logo on here).



Or, as I like to think of it, today is that day we all would be having a lot more fun if we lived in Boston. I'm pretty sure LA doesn't care a whole lot about this holiday. Don't worry I am wearing a BRIGHT green dress today in my support of holiday pride.

In other news, I watched the fantastic and much-anticipated 100th episode of Bones earlier this week, and after noticing lots of spoilers and speculation hit the web I was prompted to write a new anti-spoiler piece on The Huffington Post. It sort of makes me laugh because I have gone through moments of SUPREME spoiler hunting myself, and here I am preaching a whole new sermon. I mean, I'm the girl that snooped for my Christmas presents each year! But I don't know, I'm starting to reach a state of zen when it comes to knowing what may or may not happen. It's exhausting reading a spoiler and worrying about something you can't control or don't even see in context. But it's also weirdly addictive. I remember back when I was obsessed with Grey's Anatomy I would obsessively look for spoilers online. In fact, I'd almost equate spoilers with drugs or something - you know they are bad for you but you can't help it. WELL STOP. HELP YOURSELF. Read a book instead.

Okay, now go drink some green beer or something. I've got a stimulating afternoon ahead of me - writing, reading, watching dailies, cleaning my bosses office (ah, yes, the joys of being a TV assistant) to be followed by an even more stimulating evening of laundry and reading. Yep, that's how I am celebrating St. Patty's this year. Actually, go ahead and drink a green beer for me!

A Boner for Bomer

Last night I had the good fortune of attending a SAG panel for the fantastic USA show White Collar. I had only watched the first few episodes of the show, but they screened the mid-season finale before the cast came out and I was reminded of how great a show it really is. On a side note - USA has really stepped it up with their programming recently. Sister network NBC could learn a thing or two...

First of all, that cast is DELIGHTFUL. Not only are they all attractive (yes, Willie Garson, in his own fabulous way!) but Tiffani Thiessen (or as the 12-year-old in me kept screaming, "KELLY KAPOWSKI!!!") had the most lovely pregnancy glow and was seriously just adorable.

As opposed to other panels I've attended, this show was for SAG members exclusively (and those who somehow manage to work their way into such events, aka me), and so the conversation after the screening was a very interesting reflection on acting, auditioning, and the entire profession. And you know something? Acting is NOT easy. Acting is NOT stable. Holy crap the last thing I would ever WANT to be is an actor. Seriously. Matt Bomer, Tim DeKay, Thiessen and Garson all offered some really great insight on their careers, both the good and bad times - and shared some lovely anecdotes. (My favorite was probably Garson's story about filming his first scene on Sex and the City and hearing Darren Starr scream at him "GAYER! Play him GAYER!" Or maybe DeKay cracking up as he mentioned how he was glad he was no longer on an HBO show where he had to simulate masturbation, a la Tell Me You Love Me). These were four talented people, all who've had long careers and were grateful for now finding themselves on such a great show that's really gelled. They also acknowledged the show's excellent tone and writing, adding that television really is a writer's medium, and actors are just the vessel through which a writer's words come to life. That really resonated with me.

The main takeaway - for the actors out there - would be that this is a difficult career path you've chosen, so be sure to enrich your life with other things, most importantly - a social life to keep you grounded. Actually, that's some good advice everyone can benefit from.

Lastly, Matt Bomer, the show's star, is insanely attractive. Hence me attempting to work in the terrible (and anatomically incorrect) pun "I've got a boner for Bomer!" at every chance I get. Seriously, though, that dude is FIIIIINE. And for that matter, so is DeKay. I mean, the cast just GLOWS with prettiness.



Still regretting that I did not bring either a jean jacket or hair crimper for Ms. Theissen to autograph... Because, I mean... KELLY KAPOWSKI!

Breaking Dawn is the WORST book I've ever read

I'm about to ruin Breaking Dawn for you. (That's the final Twilight book FYI).

Spoiler alert: it is TERRIBLE.

Why? Let me use a brief conversation I recently had to better explain...

DiTonto: wait really??? "Edward impregnates Bella with a fast-growing, rib-cracking demon baby and delivers it via C-section with his teeth"

Stamos: haha yes

it is OUTRAGEOUS

essentially...

worst book I have EVER read

"Daddy, I want a golden goose!"

I would also accept a Slow Loris:

The Bling Ring… because some people are just miserable human beings

Speaking of Pretty Wild (see previous post. Or not. It’s a boring one), I read this Vanity Fair article on the Bling Ring earlier today. I am terrified and fascinated by these people.


I’m never going to allow a child of mine to grow up in Los Angeles. Hell no.

Hunky Dory

My life is NOT hard. By any means. I’m pretty lucky. I mean, I spent yesterday hungover, which was the low point of my day. That and when I realized I was totally into the new E! show Pretty Wild. Sure, I slept in my bathing suit last night, but let’s chalk that up to my beach lifestyle. I also slept outside on the porch for about two hours from 6-8:30pm.

Actually, the REAL low point of the day was probably when Sarah (my writing partner) and I didn’t get together to work last night. Sorta a bummer HOWEVER we’ve been super productive as of late, and sometimes I need to just let myself do nothing. Which yesterday is EXACTLY what I did.

The only downside is that a lazy Sunday seems to lend itself easily to a lazy Monday. Or what I like to call a “Bare-Minimum” Monday aka I will do the work I need to do, but don’t expect me to really be kicking ass and like, curing cancer anytime this afternoon...

A Nautical State of Mind

All week I've been thinking about how I want to really complete the interior decorating in my room. My room - which I lovingly call "The Boat" - is mash-up of nautical themes and a child's bedroom (I legitimately have a painting called "A is for Ann" that I had when I was a little girl). I'm hoping to get something over the top, something to just really bring it all together... I'm thinking a giant oar, or maybe some lobster buoys. Perhaps a fishing net. You know, just get real down and dirty nautical.

And for some reason I threw on my topsiders this morning in a last minute change from heels... so let's kick of the weekend in this nautical state of mind, and enjoy my favorite 80s music video to feature a boat: Duran Duran's "Rio."

Sports Doc Must Watch: Magic & Bird

Last night I finally watched HBO Sports' Magic & Bird: A Courtship of Rivals, a documentary I'd been anticipating seeing as soon as I heard about its existence.

The film did not disappoint, in fact Magic & Bird far exceeded my expectations. I was blown away, so much so, that I had tears rolling down my cheeks the last twenty minutes of the film which is NOT common for me.



I have a soft spot for sports documentaries as it is, and as I grew up in the late 80s and early 90s, much of my youth was spent obsessing over Magic, Bird and the Dream Team. I remember sitting at my counter eating breakfast before school and my dad quizzing me on the names of the Dream Team members. We used to have the plastic cups with all their pictures and stats - Magic Johnson was the first time I heard about or understood what HIV and AIDS were. I know that many other children who grew up in the same time would agree, and that nostalgic component makes the film that much more enjoyable.

My dad instilled a great love for the game of basketball in both my brother and I, and there was no better time to appreciate the sport then during the years of the Magic-Bird rivalry, and even I only got the tail end of that. This film is so spectacular, not only for showing the extent of their rivalry, but for showing their profound connection to each other, and sincere friendship. A must-see.

Program Has No Content!

First of all, you all should check out my friend Ross's blog - he used to work for Conan and is now entertaining the masses with various musings and video parodies of Chat Roulette, among other things.

Anyway, Ross just posted this BRILLIANT image on his Facebook - so the credit is ALL his, not mine, but I shamelessly stole the pic. It's just so good.

Observe:



TiVo is brilliant!

Update: Ross has informed me he did not take this picture and someone else sent it to him. Whatever, it's still awesome.

LIFE WILL BE AWESOME

IT'S THE SEQUEL TO PLANET EARTH, PEOPLE. This is one of those things that gives me the nervous excitement jitters. Seriously, I ache watching this preview in anticipation of the glory that will be this TV series.



However, my one complaint: Why is Oprah the narrator? I much prefer the dulcet tones of a wise and world-weary British man for my science documentaries. Stephen Fry for example - he would have been excellent. I fear Oprah's narration will include offers of free giveaways and perhaps a suggestion that an elephant look under his seat for a new car or something...

In case you were wondering...

Walgreens does not sell underwear.

In tales of love and war and monitoring DVR backlogs...

from Stamos
to DiTonto
date Tue, Mar 9, 2010 at 5:04 PM
subject magic and bird


Assuming you are home before me, can you put a KEEP on the Magic & Bird HBO special for me (I recorded a re-air earlier today)?

And don't get excited - it's not a fairy tale or an acid trip documentary or something you'd be interested in... it's about BASKETBALL.

And, as expected...

from DiTonto
to Stamos
date Tue, Mar 9, 2010 at 5:07 PM
subject Re: magic and bird

hahahahahaha omg I TOTALLY thought it sounded awesome until you pointed out it was Magic Johnson and Larry Bird.

gross.

yeah I'll keep that shit.

My New Theme Song

(Obviously).



And look at that - it's a commercial for Grasshopper. BRILLIANT.

Manic Pixie Dream Girl

I vacillate between loving Zooey Deschanel and finding her to be consistently annoying in her quirks. She is the poster child for the "Manic Pixie Dream Girl" (sorry Kirsten Dunst, you've been usurped) which likely explains my inclination to dislike her. She's married to Ben Gibbard, lead singer of Death Cab for Cutie and The Postal Service, which makes them the indie world's golden couple and only adds more reason for the "dislike" argument. But, truth be told, the woman seems damn near impossible to dislike. Watch the newest video (embedded below) for her side music project with M. Ward, the band She & Him. Their new album comes out at the end of the month and this music video is just... adorable. I mean, she's adorable. And I want to say she annoys the hell out of me, but well, she doesn't. She's so cute! And seems fun! And I like the song! DAMMIT. You win Manic Pixie Dream Girl, you win.

OMG These Kids are AWESOME

And the Oscar goes to... AMERICA

Last night was THE BIGGEST NIGHT IN HOLLYWOOD. Or so they say. That’s right – the Oscars! I was live tweeting the shit out of the night, which means that I lost a soul-sucking four hours of my life to boredom and half-assed attempts to make lame jokes, so for all my pithy remarks you’ll have to turn to my Twitter timeline.

The Oscars this year were… boring. But also, I felt they were very AMERICAN. More so than usual. Here are my loosely formed reasons supporting this claim:

• Best Picture went to The Hurt Locker – a movie with some seriously American themes (okay I haven’t seen it, yes you can shun me, but what little I know about this brilliant film, is that it was awesome and it was about an American bomb-diffusing squad... or something. Wow, I suck.)
• Best Director went to Kathryn Bigelow – this was very American because she was the first chick to win the award. Badass.
• Of the four acting categories, three of them went to Americans and it’s worth pointing out the Sandra Bullock is practically the poster child for All-American – I mean she dropped “y’all” in the first sentence of her acceptance speech. Jeff Bridges is THE DUDE and totally fucking rad and that just screams AMERICAN to me. Like I want to drink a beer and smoke a joint and play the guitar with this guy. And Mo’Nique again was making history with her win – it felt super AMERICAN.

My favorite dress of the night went to Sandra Bullock… okay I might as well just say it: I LOVE SANDRA BULLOCK. She and Michelle Pfeiffer are probably two of my favorite actresses, like, EVER. And it just really kicks ass that Sandy (I can call her Sandy right? I mean, we’d totally be BFFs if we knew each other in real life and not just in my dreams) won last night.

Anyway, I’m already sick of all the post-show recapping and breakdown so now that I’ve said my piece, I’ll leave it at that. Also, Sandy if you are in the market for a new BFF, call me. (And Bradley Cooper you are really hot and I have no idea why you were at the awards, but I am glad you were because it reminded me of your supreme hotness. So, yeah, call me.)

Gaga in Wonderland

Now THIS I want to see:

All that talk about Twitter has finally paid off!

That's right loyal blog readers, I'm now lending my digital media perspective over at the great site digiday:DAILY with a new bi-weekly column called "The Buzz."

First up, I'm looking into the branding partnership between State Farm and OK Go in their new music video. Check it out!

I Love You Michael Emerson

But you're creepy as fuck.



If ever there were a man destined to play Ben Linus on Lost...

A Song of Fire and Ice

No, that's not the title of my new music album. "A Song of Fire and Ice" is the master title for the series of epic fantasy tomes by George R.R. Martin, the first of which is A Game of Thrones - which HBO just picked up to series.

Well this little nerd just got REAL excited because not only are these books AWESOME, but they are perfect for a TV show. Yeah, okay, it's in the fantasy genre but it feels a lot like historical fiction or something. With dragons.

And when I said epic tome up there I meant it... I think the last book I read of the series (which is still incomplete) was well over 1000 pages.

Anywhere, here is the only released photo connected to the show - an image from the opening shot of the first episode - which by the way, I have read. And, yes, it's AWESOME. SO THERE.

Random Comic of the Day

Source: my friend Arin's Google Reader, but really xkcd

Foursquare

My brother grew up going to a boys camp in Maine that I was obsessed with. No, not because I was boy crazy (although my friends sometimes joke I never had a serious boyfriend in high school because I'd "dated" every guy in our grade by the time I was in 9th grade). You see, my brother's summer camp was AWESOME and I really, really wanted to go there. I did the next best thing and went to the girls camp I thought was most similar but one thing my camp was lacking that his was not? Foursquare. Foursquare, you may recall from your days on the playground, is a fun game with one of those red bouncy basketball-esque balls and four squares and eventually players get eliminated until one is crowned champion (and if you really care for a detailed explanation, I suggest you look on Wikipedia).

But that is not the Foursquare I'm talking about. (I know, I made you suffer through that boring anecdote for nothing. Sucker.)

You see, the Foursquare I'm currently really into is a geolocative social media app. Think Twitter but it's competitive. And it's all about "checking in" places, and the more places you check in, the higher your points, the more "badges" you get, and then you get bragging rights with your friends. And who doesn't love that? Bragging is AWESOME.

Sure, it's minorly creepy because you can see where people are. For example, this morning I checked in at Starbucks in Brentwood. But if you have enough friends doing it, the whole competitive edge is fun. It's also convenient - you can just log onto Foursquare and see where you're friends are. Maybe they're at a bar not too far from you and then you can just swing by. There is also a tips feature, so if I check into a restaurant where one of my friends has added a "tip" or a "shout," it will pop up when I check in. So lovely to get menu suggestions! Or to be told to avoid a certain cafe because the service is miserable. You get the point.

Anyway, there's a lot of branding and partnership potential here, and while some companies have already jumped on board (Conde Nast, Marc Jacobs, Bravo), there's still a relatively small userbase and consequently there's huge opportunity for early adopters who offer incentives with Foursquare.

In other words, get off the playground and check it out.

If Pee Wee Herman and Caractacus Potts had a Moustrap obsessed lovechild...

... then it might be the genius that is OK Go and their new music video:



P.S. If you don't know who Caractacus Potts is you are dead to me.

The Soundtrack I Never Knew I Needed

I'm on a big music kick these days. I think that's because, for starters, I've been doing a lot of reading, and I really like to have good chill music to listen to as I am plowing through pilot scripts. Furthermore, it's just about a month and a half until Coachella, which means I'm getting into concert-mode.

Lately I've been going through my iTunes catalog to listen to the albums I bought over the past year or so but never gave the thorough listen they deserve. One such album is M83's Saturdays = Youth, which I've decided is my version of the 80s soundtrack to my life, I never knew I was lacking until I found it. Seriously. The song "Kim and Jessie" is so epic in it's potential for running over the opening credits of a John Hughes high school drama, that I think I need to write it into some sort of 80s tribute movie.

Here's a sweet vid of the band performing the song live in 2008 on my favorite radio show, "Morning Becomes Eclectic."