For all your fake business card needs...

It's a toss up between Vandelay Industries and the Dharma Initiative for me...

From Fro Design Co.

EGOTS!

I'm so excited to go to Maine I literally might vomit

I haven't been home in 9 months. Yes, I still consider Maine home and yes this is the longest I've ever gone without going home.

I pretty much could just rewrite this post from two years ago word for word - it really sums up all the emotions coursing through my brain right now.

Mostly I'm excited for all the activities. Kayaking, sailing, tennis - the smell of the amazing fresh ocean air and being outside in the best state ever... oh man, get me there now!

Sailing with my dad off of Ferry Beach in Scarborough, ME

Kayaking with my brother in our backyard. Yes, that is literally our backyard.

Playing Dress-Up

I'm wearing a romper today. You know - like a onesie - one of those one-piece shorts ensembles that hipsters and festival-goers and children under the age of two often sport. I am also wearing a blazer. A black blazer. I am wearing a floral romper and blazer. 

This exact romper - but floral. Although I also have it in black. And neon pink.

My co-worker said it best when she gave me a laugh at the outfit this morning - "You look like an overgrown 5-year old playing dress-up and throwing on every article of clothing you could find in the closet."

All I know is I'm harboring some concern when it comes to going to the bathroom. See - I'm also wearing a belt. So that means a trip to the bathroom is going to require removing the blazer, the belt, and the entire romper before I can get anywhere. Wish me luck.

OMG BUT WHAT IF LOST DOESN'T WIN THE EMMY FOR BEST DRAMA?

I just had a moment where this very thought flitted through my little brain. LIKE OMG WHAT WILL I DO!?! I'm having a minor anxiety attack.

Oh wait... wait. It passed.

[Obligatory Bones Post to Kick-off Fall TV Excitement]

Fall is almost here. I can smell it. It smells like the end of summer and back to school and changing leaves (okay, not in LA or anything, but you know what I'm going for here) and more importantly:

FALL TV IS UPON US!

So what shows are you guys looking forward to? First of all, I am a recently converted and VERY obsessed Vampire Diaries fan and the promo for the new season has me anticipating that show SO SO SO much (YEAR OF THE KAT!!!!!!). I'm also excited for the approaching sixth season of Bones... ish.  I say ish, because, well, you know... THERE'S A NEW GIRL. What am I talking about? Check out the newest Bones promo - hot off the presses, I might add, and you'll see what I mean...

So, what do you think? I'm thinking I'm willing to give this season the benefit of the doubt but come on, I was an X-Files fan and I remember what Season 6 of THAT show looked like (Diana Fowley anyone? Contrived plot device used to keep couples apart anyone?) so let's just say for now, I'm staying wary.  But please keep David Boreanaz in fatigues. For like, ever. Ooh and perhaps the Most Important Discussion Point, like, ever: Emily Deschanel's bangs - yay or nay?

Let's Talk About How Fucking Rad Janelle Monae is

Janelle Monae is really fucking rad. Let's talk about it.

Okay so you may have seen on Twitter that earlier this week I was freaking out when I discovered that her song "Say You'll Go" from her BOMB new album samples Debussy's "Claire de Lune." Janelle Monae is awesome. I mean that is killer. Debussy is without question my favorite composer ("Reverie" is the number one most listened to song in my iTunes library) and Janelle Monae is brilliant.

The best part about her new album, The ArchAndroid is the liner notes. Every song lists inspiration. My personal favorite would be for the very first jam, "Overture II:"

Inspired by Princess Leia's cinnamon buns hairstyle, Tim Burton's "Blue Girl With Wine" and Rachmaninoff's Piano Concert No. 2

So Janelle Monae and I should be friends. Obviously. We both share a love of Star Wars, Tim Burton and Debussy. Well, shit.

And I leave you with her kickass video for "Tightrope."

Buzz Trailer: THE WALKING DEAD

The buzz-worthy trailer for AMC's new original The Walking Dead is making the rounds. Check it out:

Thoughts:

(1) Isn't that bro the dude who loved Kiera Knightley in Love Actually?

(2) This show is going to give me nightmares, won't it?

(3) Excellent musical choice

(4) All I thought during that last shot was "Mmm, brains." Do zombies eat brains? Like really - what do zombies want? I know they're undead and what not but like, is it brains or just like human flesh or what?
(5) A Halloween premiere? Very, very smart.

It's Mario's World, We're Just Living In It

This puts such a smile on my face:

(Thanks to my friend Rebecca for the tip).

Okay fine. I will never bitch about LA traffic ever again.

And I will not plan any trips to China during which I will rent a car or get in a car or drive from Beijing to like, ANYWHERE.

From CBC -

A nine-day traffic jam in China is now more than 100 kilometres long and could last for weeks, state media reported Monday.

Thousands of trucks en route to Beijing from Huai'an in the southeast have been backed up since Aug. 14, making the National Expressway 100 impassable, Xinhua News reported.

A spokesman for the Beijing Traffic Management Bureau reportedly told China's Global Times newspaper that the backup was due to "insufficient traffic capacity … caused by maintenance construction."

What's the longest time you've spent stuck in a traffic jam? Take our poll.

The construction is scheduled to last until Sept. 13.

Stranded drivers appear to have few options when it comes to dealing with the jam.

At least some drivers have complained that roadside vendors have increased their prices to take advantage of the traffic jam. One truck driver said he bought instant noodles from one vendor for four times the original price.

I don't know what is more upsetting. The fact that this traffic jam could last for almost A MONTH, or that some dude overpaid for RAMEN FUCKING NOODLES.

Get to Know: Marcel the Shell with Shoes On

"One time I looked at a diamond and it gave me a sunburn."

MARCEL THE SHELL WITH SHOES ON from Dean Fleischer-Camp on Vimeo.

THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER.

"Well, you know what they say... Lint is a shell's best friend."

OMG OMG OMG ADORABLE.

I created the word "gypster." That word is in a new MTV pilot. I am feeling all sorts of cool.

Monday mornings suck. Or so I thought as I stepped up to the elliptical machine at my gym a good half hour later than normal this fine Monday morning. I was especially sluggish today - not at all surprising considering the excessively active weekend I had - I mean, I've got paintball welts covering parts of my body and muscles I never knew I had are in severe pain thanks to a hip-hop yoga class (also known as YogaHop. No seriously).

So there I am, just chugging along, listening to some LCD Soundsystem and reading my requisite Gym Pilot of the Day - in this case, the new MTV pilot I Just Want My Pants Back by David J. Rosen.

The pilot was great - well-written, smart, clever, laugh out loud - but much more important is the discovery I made on page 21:

Do you see that line there? That one in the center sorta... take a closer look. Actually, let me just type it up for you:

INT. LENCH'S PARTY - THAT NIGHT

Lench's loft is filled with drunk hipsters and gypsters.

THERE! THERE! THAT WORD! GYPSTERS! I INVENTED THAT WORD. ME. ANN PALMER STAMELL aka ANNIE aka STAMOS - I CREATED THE WORD "GYPSTER" AND NOW A REALLY SMART WRITER HAS USED IT FOR SCENE DIRECTION IN A TV PILOT FOR MTV!!!

Don't believe me? Take a look at this "New Slang" article in trendcentral, that I contributed to. Pay special close attention to the third slang item.

See that? GYPSTER.  That folks, was my legacy at Trend Central (- that and the word "epicosity"which a friend of mine actually created and I then submitted for a different "New Slang" piece. Oh and that time I wrote that "aprons were a hot new trend.") Still don't believe me? Well I can put you in touch with at least 10 former colleagues who will attest to the veracity of this statement.

But seriously - it's true. I COINED THAT WORD! It's like hipsters who dress really boho or something. You know, like the hipsters who are kinda more hippie than hip and maybe almost look like gypsies but with money and are less likely to throw a fake baby at you so they can steal your bag (it happened to someone I know, okay?) - those are GYPSTERS!

I READ A SCRIPT AND A WORD I CREATED WAS IN THAT SCRIPT.

Dude. I bet this is what Shakespeare felt like. Or something.

WHAT IS THE FAIL WHALE!?!

I. LOVE. THIS.

Social TV Viewing Chez Moi

Let's say you were considering watching TV at my house, with me and my roommates (DiTonto, Adubs, Becca and our lovely summer squatter Bui) - what could you expect? What's it like watching TV targeted for tweens with five girls in their mid-twenties?

Well, in an email chain attempting to plan what time we'd be watching tonight's mid-season finale of Pretty Little Liars, Becca made an insanely hilarious, and likely accurate prediction for the night:

I know you're all looking forward to group watching. We all know that Adubs is going to pause a lot to discuss. And I'm going to get up 9 times to do miscellaneous activities and Stamos is gonna be like "wait what's going on" and then Bui is going to get up and get watermelon three times and leave her bowl on the floor next to her flip flops and groan about how much she's eaten. Next we'll have Ash holding her shirt over her nose from the smell of the popcorn I'll inevitably make, huffing and puffing the whole time about who is talking and what's going on and how she is nauseous and we are all going to end the PLL watching affair with the same sort of blank stare that the impeccably dressed liars take on with every new A-originated SMS.

Becca - you're a genius. Those girls really have that post-text blank stare locked down, and it's not too far off from our own collective post-viewing expressions. (And I do realize the irony of the fact that I, the TV obsessed one, is almost always the one who has no idea what's happening - but that applies to most of my life.)

Much love to the four girls I live with...

Speaking of Arcade Fire...

Apparently it's Arcade Fire Monday.

No, actually, I just wanted to share this great photo album from their recent show at New York's Madison Square Garden, what I've heard was an epic performance.

Here's a pic to whet your appetite and you can check out the entire batch of photos here.

Now Playing: Mumford & Sons, Arcade Fire, Four Tet & Tennis

I'm a big, big music junkie. Longtime readers of this blog will remember I used to have a sidebar widget showcasing whatever music I was listening to at the moment. I wasn't that great at updating it, but sort of missed having that feature today, especially as there are some killer jams I would love to recommend.

So how about this - I'm just going to tell you about who I'm listening to right now and why you should be too.

Mumford & Sons

Sigh No More

This album has the rare capacity to bring me to tears. It's a sort of folk/rock hybrid - although I believe iTunes labels them as "freak-folk" - but honestly I just think of them as beautiful.
Current Favorite: "After the Storm"

Arcade Fire

The Suburbs

Truth be told, while I have Arcade Fire's older albums, this is the first one I've listened to on repeat and fallen deeply in love with every song.
Current Favorite: "Rococo"

Four Tet

There is Love in You

Sort of indie-electronic-mellow-trance-dance, Four Tet is great music for getting in the zone, or for just zoning out.
Current Favorite: "She Just Likes to Fight"

Tennis

Balitmore - EP

I think you could clump Tennis in the recent batch of California Surf Revival, but I like these guys a lot more than Wavves or Best Coast. This EP is only three songs and definitely leaves you wanting more - but it's totally worth a listen.
Current Favorite: "Marathon"

Is Arcade Fire sampling ABBA? (Or is it just wishful thinking?)

In eighth grade I obsessively listened to ABBA Gold. I remember writing out the lyrics to "Money Money Money" so that I could memorize every word uttered in that masterpiece of song. I'm sure I didn't really understand what it was I was singing about, but I will say that a result was my extensive knowledge of ABBA songs.

Over the weekend I bought the new Arcade Fire album The Suburbs and have been listening to it on repeat. I'm convinced the song "Modern Man," one of my favorite off this album, samples "Money Money Money."

Here's ABBA:

Now go to the 1:12 mark on Arcade Fire's song and see what I'm talking about:

"In my dreams, I have a plan..." RIGHT? AM I RIGHT? Or am I grasping at straws? Okay maybe I just think it would be awesome if Arcade Fire did sample ABBA...

You know, for all those of you with opossums who need pedicures...

Seriously? There's a demographic for this?

Here's what troubles me: "a mistake people OFTEN make when giving a massage to an opossum is throwing off the energy."

(1) How many people are giving an opossum a massage at any given moment?

(2) How exactly do you throw off the energy of said opossum

(3) What kind of drugs is this lady on and where can I get some?

Thanks to DiTonto for bringing this gem into my life.  I am going to be haunted by nightmares of that lady waving bye to me for the next week.

Video Game Songs, With Lyrics!

I want to date this guy and make him serenade me all day long, alternatively with video game theme songs and then television theme songs.

What do I do?

Well folks, this is what I do.

Thanks to my Dad for sending it along and including the note: Keep clicking on "I've already fucking used that one."

Silly Bandz: All the Rage with the Kids These Days

Surely by now you know what Silly Bandz are. I imagine you've seen them adorning the wrists of hipsters and tweens alike. No, it's not a sudden explosion of colored rubber bands converted into jewelry, it's... oh wait. Yes, that's exactly what it is.

Silly Bandz are colored rubber bands that are pluralized with a "z" for no apparent reason.

Okay fine, more importantly, Silly Bandz are rubber bands in various shapes such as dinosaurs, or tools, or letters of the alphabet (or my personal favorite - sea creatures). You wear these rubber bands on your wrist with little regard for color or matching categories, genres or subset of genres. In fact, just today I think I have on a green shark, but also a white dog bone and what appears to be the letter K.

On your wrist they sit very crinkly and strangely and the common passerby might mistake them for a set of old, weakened hair elastics. When you take them off your wrist, however, they return right back to their true form. That's it. That is all Silly Bandz do. At the most they cost $4.95 for select styles at your local toy store (see tie-dye, glitter, or glow-in-the-dark), but it's fairly easy to find a flimsy pack at the drug store down the street for around $1.99. Right now silly bandz are everywhere.

They are silly, you see. Very, very silly.

Like most fads (because yes, I would call this a fad, even if perhaps it's part of a larger trend that has people longing for whimsical inexpensive tokens that carry a nostalgic emotional component for older consumers, and a chance at "cool" cultural currency for younger ones), these Silly Bandz seem to have been nowhere and are suddenly everywhere.

I love them. I don't care that I am completely buying into this bizarre fad, but I really adore my Silly Bandz. They add a little color to an outfit, sure. But really - they are so weird and stupid, and yes, silly, that I can't help but enjoy them. I even slept with mine on last night (note: I did take them off for the shower as I have yet to determine how waterproof they are, although, as they are simply colored rubber bands, I imagine they can handle a little water).

The thing I want to know, is this: what happens next? Is this fad simply going to fade in a few months, just as suddenly as it first appeared? Or can we expect to see Silly Bandz infiltrate the general public subconscious in surprising ways? For example, I see a logical tie-in to the marketing of TV shows, films, and new music, especially those that appeal to tweens and hipsters alike. Yes, I do believe there is an overlapping market there - for different reasons sure, but anti-mainstream hipsters and Bieber-fevered tweens have a lot more in common than the average person might think. Most importantly - these two subsets are top influencers of pop culture trends. Pay attention to the fashion choices you see around you and the next time you see someone sporting Silly Bandz, I can almost promise it's a hipster or a tween.